Have you been defriended?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Dilema: When you have defriended someone and you then receive a friend request from them to be refriended, what do you do? Click Ignore, accept, or leave it in the rrequest area for a month until they forget about it?

Hmmm...if it is someone that you really have met or known in person, I'd consider refriending them unless you really can't stand them.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Dilema: When you have defriended someone and you then receive a friend request from them to be refriended, what do you do? Click Ignore, accept, or leave it in the rrequest area for a month until they forget about it?

I'm pretty sure that from their perspective there is no difference between you pressing ignore, or actually ignoring it by leaving it in your queue forever.

I think when they look at your profile (limited) if they see the add as a friend button then you ignored it, however if it is pending friend request (or something similar) it means you have not ignored it..officially. I do not use FB often so they may just think I have not logged in or seen it for a while.

Hmmm...if it is someone that you really have met or known in person, I'd consider refriending them unless you really can't stand them.

Interesting article, indeed.

To answer fozzie's question though. When you request someone as a friend or you are requested as a friend and you let it sit in a que for awhile, depending on the people's setting it acts as if you are friends and allows you to see each others status updates in your news feeds, pictures, info, wall, ect until that friend request is accepted or ignored.

If you don't know that person in real life or if you're indifferent to that person and don't care to stay in contact or have them know much else about you then you should act on the friend request by ignoring them. If you deleted them and they request to add you back or vice versa and you can't "facebook kiss and makeup" for whatever reason then sometimes you just have to give frenemies the finger and part ways.

[Marilyn. 340]

Interesting article, indeed.

To answer fozzie's question though. When you request someone as a friend or you are requested as a friend and you let it sit in a que for awhile, depending on the people's setting it acts as if you are friends and allows you to see each others status updates in your news feeds, pictures, info, wall, ect until that friend request is accepted or ignored.

i don't think this is true.. people can set their profile to be public or private.. if it is private, even someone who has a pending friendship request can't see your profile... if it is public it doesn't matter if you have a pending request or not, you will be able to see all that person's status updates etc..

[Krikit 1,164]

I defriended someone on FB because her status updates were super annoying. I later found out (TY Marilyn) that all I had to do was block seeing their status updates. lol

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

i don't think this is true.. people can set their profile to be public or private.. if it is private, even someone who has a pending friendship request can't see your profile... if it is public it doesn't matter if you have a pending request or not, you will be able to see all that person's status updates etc..

Again, it depends on the persons settings. A person can set their profile to private and have settings on some things that are "share with friends only" or "share with friends of friends" that is also shared with others when a friends request is made. I first noticed this after fb's latest change over. People who set their profiles to private that I made friends requests with I could then see most everything about their profile as if I was a friend until they ignored my request. Even their status updates showed in my profile like they were a friend. My status feed would show me that they'd accepted other friend request but not mine so then I knew they were ignoring my request. Another updated feature to fb is you can retract your friends request now when that happens. Things like this were reconfirmed recently for me with people from my new work. I requested them as friends and they had set their profiles to private so what I saw is what most people saw on fb. That is until I made the friends request and then a lot more was opened up to me on their facebook and the same thing was happening with their status updates showing in my news feed.

It's not a fluke. It's the way fb is. The only way I can think of to make sure someone out there that you don't want knowing information about you is to block them first by going find their profile and blocking them so they can't make a friends request and have some access. Of course that only works if that person has one profile and not 3-4 like many of the younger generation have from what I've noticed. I knew some people a while back that had up to 5 profiles for gaming purposes. They'd make extra profiles for their pets or their kids or unborn kids or separate profiles of themselves to separate different groups of friends and family. I guess another way is to adjust your settings but I'm not sure how private you'd have to make it. Maybe as private as where you don't show up in any searches? The final way is to not have a facebook profile at all. Either deactivate it or have it deleted which I learned how to do from WikiHow. Before I thought you could never delete a fb profile since they only really offer the deactivation feature openly but deleting it can be done if you can wait out the 14 days by not logging in again before it's completely deleted.

I'm with Steve though that fb is on it's way out as people are learning social networking is not all that it's cracked up to be. Much like MySpace's decline. Something else will come along and then when enough time is spent on the novelty and people figure it out the novelty wears off.

[Jenn! 918]

I just checked my account with my alternate, and I'm still private even after the friend request.

[Marilyn. 340]

right now I have a pending request with someone and I can't see anything on their profile except a few basic things... it says this on his profile page "People who aren't friends with _____ see only some of his profile information."

I have my profile set where only friends can see stuff on my profile...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Then his settings are set that way where it won't share. I'm not saying that's not possible. Public profiles are like you said as well I'm not debating that either. However, it is possible when others have settings set a certain way "private" yet sharing certain things when they get a friends request and they perhaps aren't computer savvy to what is going on when they get a friends request. I'm unsure what setting it is that does this but I know for a fact from experiencing it more than once over a period of several months this has been the case in my friends request.

I could give you a number of examples of people's profiles from VJ I've done this with that are like what I'm telling you about. They might not like their first and last name on here though. In fact some of you posting in this thread know many of them already and may or may not be friends with them.

[Marilyn. 340]

just foudn this on the facebook..

Why can someone I haven’t accepted as a friend see News Feed stories about me?

When someone sends you a friend request, public stories about you (i.e...

When someone sends you a friend request, public stories about you (i.e., stories that have the privacy set to "Everyone") may appear in their News Feed. If you decline a friend request from this person, stories about you will not appear in their News Feed anymore.

News Feed will never show stories that a non-friend wouldn’t ordinarily be able to see. For example, if you posted a video and set the privacy to "Friends," a person who is waiting for you to approve their friend request would not see that in their News Feed. If you had set the video to be visible to Everyone, that person would see it.

http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=768

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

just foudn this on the facebook..

http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=768

I'm not sure how that explains what I've explained to you. What you pulled from fb confuses me actually. If someone sets something for everyone to see yet their profile is private then of course it's not going to show up in my news feed if I don't request them. Will it show up if I go to look at their profile and it's set to private and I didn't send a friends request? From what I've seen if I don't send a friends request and they're set to private then I don't see anything but what everyone else sees in the searches. If I send a friends request then their profile opens up and treats me as a friend who can't post on their profile. I know when they've ignored my request because they no longer show on my friends list as "pending request" or their news feed shows me their activity while they're ignoring my request. I hope that makes sense. I know I can't be the only one experiencing this as some sort of phenomena just because you guys haven't come across it.

[Ban Hammer 13,335]

right now I have a pending request with someone and I can't see anything on their profile except a few basic things... it says this on his profile page "People who aren't friends with _____ see only some of his profile information."

I have my profile set where only friends can see stuff on my profile...

that's right, so when you gonna approve my friend request?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I just checked my account with my alternate, and I'm still private even after the friend request.

Whoah....you have an alternate account on FB?

[spookyturtle 9,465]

I'd be friends with people I didn't like just so I could insult them by defriending them.

[Jenn! 918]

Whoah....you have an alternate account on FB?

Yes, I use it to check periodically that my privacy settings are working properly.

[chri'stina 190]

I like facebook because some of my family and good friends have moved over the past couple years and it's a great way to keep in touch in one place. I don't care for calling lots of people on the phone, always have just called certain people in my life, so it's good for me. And I don't have text messaging.

What I do not like is the weirdness of friending people sometimes. I am an apprehensive friend requester. I might think I should send one to someone, then I wait and wait and think and then they end up sending me one instead. That works for me! And this will sound rude, but I don't usually care for adding people just because we both post on VJ or somewhere else when I don't even have much communication with them. I don't like adding people out of curiosity. I want to actually like them to add them. And I have some people from the past that I wish would defriend me so I don't have to be the one to do it. But besides those issues, I still like facebook.

Edited October 8, 2010 by chri'stina