STD testing - Ukraine

[birdman2010 0]

Hi. I know there's some STD testing that happens for my fiancee.

In any case, I was thinking of the following scenario:

Once she arrives having us both go to a clinic here to get tested.

Or, to just assume that everything's ok.

She hasn't been with a guy for a few years reportedly.

And I'm a virgin. ;-)

Maybe some US originated based couples ask, although many probably don't.

But I'm wondering, for Ukraine culture, if once she's here what she'd normally be expected to think about my saying after she's here a few days "hey, let's both go to the clinic and get tested."

Or, I could just assume that the medical exam in Kiev will be sufficient.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The only STD tests I've heard of being done for the visa are the syphillis test and HIV test. There's no test for herpes, genital warts, chlamydia etc.

I would personally hope that you've discussed this with her already but if you haven't, do so now. You may be an intercourse virgin, but you may not be an oral virgin or god knows what else (and i'm not asking), so it's only safe to have a test done anyway.. not to mention it will make it feel less "personal" and more about mutual respect for each others health. I had one done before I left Australia just to be safe. My husband is a Marine so he was tested when he got out.

This isn't an issue of trust. Not everyone knows when they're sick and she shouldn't baulk at the idea. Hopefully she realises you don't judge her for having previous partners, esp as you're willing to do the test as well. I personally would be a little shocked at first (hence mentioning now, not later) but when you think about it it makes sense... everyone should do it really.

** moved from "Off Topic" to "Ukraine Regional" as you should get some Ukrainian specific responses there **

p.s. I would hope "a couple of days in" means you wouldn't have sex before the test... because you can still catch some STD's even with a condom on. I hope you've also discussed birth control... not that it's any of my business but birth control would have come up in the same conversation with STD's and vice versa so if you haven't tried discussing one, I thought perhaps neither the other.

Edited September 30, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Of course - the real question to ask yourself is -

what will you do if she consents to a STD test, and finds out she has one, what will you do? End the relationship, marry her anyway?

This would be problematic if you actually bring her here on a visa.

For what it's worth, things like this should be discussed, in length and great detail, before you actually start to make life changing things, like bringing someone to the US and getting married to them.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hi. I know there's some STD testing that happens for my fiancee.

In any case, I was thinking of the following scenario:

Once she arrives having us both go to a clinic here to get tested.

Or, to just assume that everything's ok.

She hasn't been with a guy for a few years reportedly.

And I'm a virgin. ;-)

Maybe some US originated based couples ask, although many probably don't.

But I'm wondering, for Ukraine culture, if once she's here what she'd normally be expected to think about my saying after she's here a few days "hey, let's both go to the clinic and get tested."

Or, I could just assume that the medical exam in Kiev will be sufficient.

The medical exam is sufficient. Was she locked in a room the last few years?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Of course - the real question to ask yourself is -

what will you do if she consents to a STD test, and finds out she has one, what will you do? End the relationship, marry her anyway?

This would be problematic if you actually bring her here on a visa.

For what it's worth, things like this should be discussed, in length and great detail, before you actually start to make life changing things, like bringing someone to the US and getting married to them.

Good point. While they may not cover everything, they cover anything that can't be easily cured. So the question remains...what will you do? Get treated or send her back?

[baron555 934]

Good point. While they may not cover everything, they cover anything that can't be easily cured. So the question remains...what will you do? Get treated or send her back?

Yes the standard tests will be conducted and will detect any immediate problems that may affect you. So don't worry about that.....but....

Since you are a virgin, yoiu need to know that two people who plan to or are having sex together usually talk about it, in terms about the protection requirements of the other person. Since you two haven't got to this part yet, it is not unreasonable for you to discuss it now with her. You can lead into the conversation either indirectly such as "What are your thoughts or plans about having children? Do you want this? I do/do not. If so is there anything medically we need to be worried about?"

Or directly, "Since we will begin having sex together (assuming this is in the plans) is there anything we need to talk about to protect each other?"

Adult behaving adults will be conformtable discussing these details.

[thongd4me 69]

...And I'm a virgin. ;-)

Not laughing at or belittling the OP, but something seems not to add up in the

combination of an American virgin male and a Ukrainian female who claims

not to have been sexually active in years. I hope there are no surprises in

this relationship and I sincerely hope that all goes well for both.

You know Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky were not sexually active...

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yes the standard tests will be conducted and will detect any immediate problems that may affect you. So don't worry about that.....but....

Since you are a virgin, yoiu need to know that two people who plan to or are having sex together usually talk about it, in terms about the protection requirements of the other person. Since you two haven't got to this part yet, it is not unreasonable for you to discuss it now with her. You can lead into the conversation either indirectly such as "What are your thoughts or plans about having children? Do you want this? I do/do not. If so is there anything medically we need to be worried about?"

Or directly, "Since we will begin having sex together (assuming this is in the plans) is there anything we need to talk about to protect each other?"

Adult behaving adults will be conformtable discussing these details.

and given that she is from Ukraine, you should discuss sheets, duvette covers, furniture covers, tablecloths are other things which will be uselful around the house. Painters drop cloths tend to be a little abrasive, Actually she should be able to help you out with these selections. Seems to be instinctual.

[baron555 934]

Not laughing at or belittling the OP, but something seems not to add up in the

combination of an American virgin male and a Ukrainian female who claims

not to have been sexually active in years. I hope there are no surprises in

this relationship and I sincerely hope that all goes well for both.

You know Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky were not sexually active...

That's not a nice thing to say about Ukrainian women, just as one shouldn't say the same about Thai ladies.

Helpful hints:

Always shower before bed.

Always shave before bed (you'll learn why, ask her)

Candles, soft music, champagne and massage oils are very helpful

What was the title of that book from back in the day where one of the practice exercizes was to take a grape into one's mouth and roll it around and hold it between your teeth without breaking the skin?

Here you go:

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) is a book (1969, updated 1999) by U.S. physician Dr. David Reuben.

Edited September 30, 2010 by baron555

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Not laughing at or belittling the OP, but something seems not to add up in the

combination of an American virgin male and a Ukrainian female who claims

not to have been sexually active in years. I hope there are no surprises in

this relationship and I sincerely hope that all goes well for both.

You know Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky were not sexually active...

I...uh...well. I lived there for a while and, uh, while I certainly did not meet every woman in Ukraine, um...and I certainly can't speak for all of them...

Look, we have this "before/after" rule. Before I met Alla and after I met Alla. Lets just say we "don't go there"

Lets just say the American virgin male is going to get torn up and turned inside out. I suggest he do a lot of reading as it has been (in my limited experience ) a feature of Ukrainian women that one of the things they expect from a man is being able to satisfy those...um, needs. AND you need to be able to do it after laying ceramic tile in their bathroom all day or installing new kitchen cabinets for them.

Please review the "starting over" thread in this forum.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

That's not a nice thing to say about Ukrainian women, just as one shouldn't say the same about Thai ladies.

Helpful hints:

Always shower before bed.

Always shave before bed (you'll learn why, ask her)

Candles, soft music, champagne and massage oils are very helpful

What was the title of that book from back in the day where one of the practice exercizes was to take a grape into one's mouth and roll it around and hold it between your teeth without breaking the skin?

Here you go:

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) is a book (1969, updated 1999) by U.S. physician Dr. David Reuben.

Ukrainian women would consider it highly complimentary. DO NOT ever let a Ukrainian woman fell like you do not desire her.

Other advice is good, oils are optional, probably not necessary (OMG! I said that out loud!)

[baron555 934]

Ukrainian women would consider it highly complimentary. DO NOT ever let a Ukrainian woman fell like you do not desire her.

Other advice is good, oils are optional, probably not necessary (OMG! I said that out loud!)

Gary you can PM me if you want but a nice erotic massage with a nice oil is very stimulating......but then again, you need to watch after your heart lest it be torn asunder.

I do know you love it when she puts on those tall black boots with the high heels......Yes Mistress, whatever you want!!!

As usual, we are always very helpful to each other here in the RUB forum.

[thongd4me 69]

That's not a nice thing to say about Ukrainian women, just as one shouldn't say the same about Thai ladies....

I would say the same about an American virgin male & a Thai lady; no disrespect to

either of them - it would require a lot of adjustment - mostly on the part of the American.

The woman may enjoy the fact that she can teach him from "square one" but will

expect a good result, whether she is Ukrainian, Thai, or another nationality.

There's no harm in both having been sexually active or both being virgins, but

there would be an inclination by any woman of any nationality to downplay

her sexual experience if it's a serious relationship with a male virgin.

Then again, the male may be openly seeking someone with lots of experience.

In that case, no harm, no foul.

[birdman2010 0]

Here's my replies...

The medical exam is sufficient. Was she locked in a room the last few years?

I was in the box, but after leaving Mormonism (there's plenty of adult Mormon virgins), loosing 110 pounds, & getting rid of my thick glasses things are looking up. She wasn't in a box I don't think, but was doing other stuff. I don't know the exact time frame for her.

In any case it sounds, based on what I've read elsewhere and your advise, that the medical exam in Kiev may be sufficient for her.

I may take the following approach: Having myself tested. Sending her the results. And stating that I could pay for an exam for her.

Or I could just assume that we'll be ok, as per the exam she'll have.

Good point. While they may not cover everything, they cover anything that can't be easily cured. So the question remains...what will you do? Get treated or send her back?

I would not be inclined to send her back regardless.

I am leaning toward either a.) letting the Kiev exam play out and going from there with nothing more, or b.) having the Kiev exam go of course and getting myself tested & sending her the results & telling her I'll pay for her to be tested if she wants.

But option a may be ok, since I've not been in the Navy and so on. Rather the opposite.

and given that she is from Ukraine, you should discuss sheets, duvette covers, furniture covers, tablecloths are other things which will be useful around the house. Painters drop cloths tend to be a little abrasive, Actually she should be able to help you out with these selections. Seems to be instinctual.

My bachelor styled house shall soon be converted I am sure.

That's not a nice thing to say about Ukrainian women, just as one shouldn't say the same about Thai ladies.

Helpful hints:

[clip]

What was the title of that book from back in the day where one of the practice exercises was to take a grape into one's mouth and roll it around and hold it between your teeth without breaking the skin?

[clip]

I'll check that out.

Edited September 30, 2010 by birdman2010

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I just realized this thread was moved here from the OT forum. Be very glad it was moved...very glad.

The OT forum is no place for virgins!