why does it still bug me?

[Darnell 8,478]

Lol I met my ex many times-we also have the same religion so she wasn't a total stranger per-say...it wasn't JUST online, however, my ex-best friend hadn't met my ex till just a few weeks ago. she flew to see him and lied to me where she was going until i proved her wrong over an over again to her face and finally she admitted lying to me again. Like I've said before and to my husband, it has nothing to do w/ her being w/ my ex...I'm fine w/ that... its that she keeps lying to me about the whole thing! I'm not a person who gets a lot of people around and then picks the one I like best and dump the rest...i become committed to one person and move on if it doesn't work---my ex-best friend however Doesn't...she does exactly what I just described. And I feel bad for her and for the other people she does that too....cause she's done it many times to me. I no longer consider her a friend because friends don't do those types of things to friends.

I guess I'm just having a hard time thinking a person would do such a thing that since I would never do that

Pardon - I seem to be having a problem with English.........

IF you feel 'yer set' with the current spouse

Then

I'll suggest to you, strongly -

That you simply toss off any prior bullsh|t - as

You have A Spouse that

works for you©

Having a Spouse - that 'works for you' -

is really important - it doesn't matter

where yer from, or where yer spouse is from -

IF

the two of you are happy -

in each other's presence -

regardless of failings.........................

Yer Done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you've found The Spouse For You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited October 2, 2010 by Darnell

[JoannaV 174]

It's bugging you because you want the world to be full of good people, and you want all your friends (even if they were more friends of convenience or friends because you were forced to play together as babies) to be real true friends.

You know that she isn't a good friend, you don't seem to even like her so it's not like that is what's bugging you. You now live very far away from her, you need never think/see of her again.

If it keeps bugging you, you've just got too much free time! Or maybe thinking about this distracts you from wondering when you will get your green card, if so then fair enough lol I guess moving countries can make us particularly affected by the losing of an old friend.

[julesrose 0]

It's bugging you because you want the world to be full of good people, and you want all your friends (even if they were more friends of convenience or friends because you were forced to play together as babies) to be real true friends.

You know that she isn't a good friend, you don't seem to even like her so it's not like that is what's bugging you. You now live very far away from her, you need never think/see of her again.

If it keeps bugging you, you've just got too much free time! Or maybe thinking about this distracts you from wondering when you will get your green card, if so then fair enough lol I guess moving countries can make us particularly affected by the losing of an old friend.

Lol yes I do have too much time and my mind does seem to wander backwards at times to the past and I don't always enjoy the trip! It's hard being cooped up waiting to be able to work! Thanks for understanding!

Sadly, whenever I go home I will have to see her, we go to the same church and she lives in her grandparents old home (her parents bought it) -to add to that, her grandparents are best friends w/ my parents! And my sister is still her friend. she lives like a 2 second drive down the street.....lol anyhow, I know to just deal w/ grace and matureness when I'm able to return back home!

As you mentioned about moving countries, I couldn't be more happy and relaxed then I am since I am away from the drama. I'm not one to enjoy it--I feel it's something that just not needed!

Thanks again!

[Darnell 8,478]

moving countries seems to be, at least to ME, a lacksidaisical positition,

when trying to compare

USA to

Canada.

Seriously - are you happy with yer choice of Spouse?

If so, let the cr#p go.

All it's gonna do is eat you from the inside out.

This could be useful, if yer grossly overweight -

otherwise -

yer burning up inside, trying to find the right size of 'spigot'

What are you doing, really? AND - what does yer therapist say, this relentless pursuit of YOU being 'right' ????

==================

FWIW -

everytime I read a problem here on VJ -

and

the OP uses 'lol' in a sentence -

I know -

beyond any shadow of a doubt --

that -

yer really not focused on 'problem resolution'.

God gave us the blessing of 'free will' and 'choice'

and I'll suggest to you

that - yer really not exploring yer options for 'choice'

in this situation.

Confused?!?!!???!??

Engage with a therapist in yer locale, send me an email 6 months later.

Seriously..

Edited October 2, 2010 by Darnell

[Nik+Heather 121]

Darnell, are you a poet? I'm starting to read the above posts to a rap rhythm.....

[JoannaV 174]

moving countries seems to be, at least to ME, a lacksidaisical positition,

when trying to compare

USA to

Canada.

Moving to a place where you only know one person is more of an issue for some people than others