a hypothetical question which could make or break a love story. please read

[Zcheva 0]

my friend, shared to me his story. him and his girlfriend have a huge age gap. hes 23 years old. and hes girlfriend is 33. they filed k1 application. go through the process.. at the interview.. the consul officer asked him: "you and your fiance has a huge age gap. how come you will prove to me that your relationship is genuine and not for immigration purposes?" ...

im relaying this information to you because for two reasons..

1. it could possibly be one of the questions you may encounter.

2. I have the same situation. I am 25. and my girlfriend is 34. and i would want to ask, if you are ask by the consul that question. how will you respond to it?

by the way.. may friend was denied... he did not answer it well.. when i asked him what did he answered. he cant remember.. too much stress ..heheh..please do answer that question.pretty please.. thanks

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

my friend, shared to me his story. him and his girlfriend have a huge age gap. hes 23 years old. and hes girlfriend is 33. they filed k1 application. go through the process.. at the interview.. the consul officer asked him: "you and your fiance has a huge age gap. how come you will prove to me that your relationship is genuine and not for immigration purposes?" ...

im relaying this information to you because for two reasons..

1. it could possibly be one of the questions you may encounter.

2. I have the same situation. I am 25. and my girlfriend is 34. and i would want to ask, if you are ask by the consul that question. how will you respond to it?

by the way.. may friend was denied... he did not answer it well.. when i asked him what did he answered. he cant remember.. too much stress ..heheh..please do answer that question.pretty please.. thanks

Your question, in light of the others you have asked and the details you provided concern me, but my concern doesn't matter, really. The correct answer is THE TRUTH! You have a problem with the truth? I assure you the consulate does NOT have a problem with the truth.

Your friend was asked this question because it is highly unusual that a Pinoy marries a woman older than himself. It is NOT unusual that a Pinay marries a man older than herself. If you were a Pinay and marrying a man 40 years older, there would be no questions. It is NORMAL. What you are doing is NOT normal. "Normal" means whatever that consulate usually deals with. Manilla is a difficult consulate anyway and the PIs are fife with visa fraud, so you have two strikes going in. Prepare yourself with sufficient evidence of relationship for the interview and a detailed and logical version of the TRUTH about your relationship.

[Zcheva 0]

Your question, in light of the others you have asked and the details you provided concern me, but my concern doesn't matter, really. The correct answer is THE TRUTH! You have a problem with the truth? I assure you the consulate does NOT have a problem with the truth.

Your friend was asked this question because it is highly unusual that a Pinoy marries a woman older than himself. It is NOT unusual that a Pinay marries a man older than herself. If you were a Pinay and marrying a man 40 years older, there would be no questions. It is NORMAL. What you are doing is NOT normal. "Normal" means whatever that consulate usually deals with. Manilla is a difficult consulate anyway and the PIs are fife with visa fraud, so you have two strikes going in. Prepare yourself with sufficient evidence of relationship for the interview and a detailed and logical version of the TRUTH about your relationship.

thank you for you response.. ...

[Zcheva 0]

our friend was asked this question because it is highly unusual that a Pinoy marries a woman older than himself. It is NOT unusual that a Pinay marries a man older than herself. If you were a Pinay and marrying a man 40 years older, there would be no questions. It is NORMAL. What you are doing is NOT normal. "Normal" means whatever that consulate usually deals with. Manilla is a difficult consulate anyway and the PIs are fife with visa fraud, so you have two strikes going in. Prepare yourself with sufficient evidence of relationship for the interview and a detailed and logical version of the TRUTH about your relationship.

i would like to somehow oppose to your opinion, that younger men marrying older women are not normal. looking the situation from outside, it would seem that way. though, living here, and knowing hundreds of the same situation, ( younger men marrying older women, ) is a different thing... the only difference is, both person do not need to go through immigration process because they are both pinoys. and prefers to live her in our country. my mom and dad are a living testimony of that "NOT NORMAL " scenario. my mom is 55. and my dad is 47. but it was never an issue.

in defense on my part, I am marrying a filipina who happens to be an american citizen by naturalization. not a foreigner by birth. I am a licensed nurse, having my masteral degree at a university. earning a descent income. and opportunities to every countries are open.. but still, i chose to be with the woman i love. isnt that justifiable? that the immigration benefit the consul is referring is actually irrelevant if he tries to consider the fact that I would have chosen to go to some other countries where there is no recession, where economy is not at its downfall. .. how about that?could that be a logical answer?

[USC1961 251]

My fiancee is 46 and I am 36, but it's obvious to anyone that meets us that we are a couple. In fact people always ask us things like when we are going to get married. Why am I saying all this? I can only imagine that the interviewer saw something that wasn't quite right with your friends relationship. They are trained to spot unusual things, and age is only one factor. Coupled with your friends overly nervous demeanor probably triggered red flags.

In summary if you are telling the truth you don't have much to worry about. IMO it is a lot easier to tell the truth and be yourself, especially if you go well prepared with evidence. Good luck!!

[ThaitoUSA 15]

Generally speaking it is more common in East Asian nations for men to be the older spouse in relationships. Gary was not denying that the converse doesn't exist or that your relationship is valid, rather that it is likely to send up a red flag that you should be prepared to address with ample evidence and honest explanation.

My understanding is that the officer makes a judgement based upon the totality of circumstances: Age can be a factor, but unlikely to be the sole criterion for denial.

[mishellibelli 1]

My fiance and I worked at the same place in Malawi for a couple of months before we started dating and found out how old each other was. I thought he was a few years older than he is and he thought I was about 12 years younger than I really am, so we were pretty shocked when we we found out(our age difference is huge, even bigger than yours). Shocked for a few minutes - and from there on out we rarely even think twice about it, nor does anyone who is around us.

Marrying an older woman is not the 'norm' in Malawi. Will we get more hassle than most at the interview? Probably. But I know that we are both 100% confident in how we feel about each other, and that confidence is what is going to come through in his answers - I think that is what can make or break an approval.

Edited September 27, 2010 by mishellibelli

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

i would like to somehow oppose to your opinion, that younger men marrying older women are not normal. looking the situation from outside, it would seem that way. though, living here, and knowing hundreds of the same situation, ( younger men marrying older women, ) is a different thing... the only difference is, both person do not need to go through immigration process because they are both pinoys. and prefers to live her in our country. my mom and dad are a living testimony of that "NOT NORMAL " scenario. my mom is 55. and my dad is 47. but it was never an issue.

in defense on my part, I am marrying a filipina who happens to be an american citizen by naturalization. not a foreigner by birth. I am a licensed nurse, having my masteral degree at a university. earning a descent income. and opportunities to every countries are open.. but still, i chose to be with the woman i love. isnt that justifiable? that the immigration benefit the consul is referring is actually irrelevant if he tries to consider the fact that I would have chosen to go to some other countries where there is no recession, where economy is not at its downfall. .. how about that?could that be a logical answer?

I am not debating you or questioning you. Frankly, I don't care and wish you luck. The consulate likely WILL care. You don't have to like it. You can prepare and be successful or you can fail to prepare ...and prepare to fail. You can get a visa no questions asked like my fiancee did, or you can get denied like your friend did. Your choice. Makes no difference to me.

Good luck

[Zcheva 0]

I am not debating you or questioning you. Frankly, I don't care and wish you luck. The consulate likely WILL care. You don't have to like it. You can prepare and be successful or you can fail to prepare ...and prepare to fail. You can get a visa no questions asked like my fiancee did, or you can get denied like your friend did. Your choice. Makes no difference to me.

Good luck

please do not get me wrong.. i was not debating. i apolofize if i sound rude on what i wrote.. im sorry. it wasnt my intention. i was trying to convey a possible answer as if u were the consul.. thats why at the end of the paragraph, i even said, cud that be possible.. im so sorry garry.. i did not mean to offend u. i appreciate ur response...

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

please do not get me wrong.. i was not debating. i apolofize if i sound rude on what i wrote.. im sorry. it wasnt my intention. i was trying to convey a possible answer as if u were the consul.. thats why at the end of the paragraph, i even said, cud that be possible.. im so sorry garry.. i did not mean to offend u. i appreciate ur response...

I simply want you to know that I do not have "an opinion" You really do not need to "try any answers" on me, the answer is the truth. I would have no problem whatsoever in answering why I love my wife. I would have had enough evidence that no one would question it...in fact, they didn't, neither at the visa interview or the AOS interview.

Keep your documentation and present your truthful case when the time comes...sleep well.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

I am 42, my fiance is 34, and we have been together for over 10 years now. No one asked about our age difference, only why it took us so long to file to get married. This was in Mexico though, and it can make a difference what consulate you go through. As was already stated, you just tell the truth when they ask you questions at the interview.

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

i would like to somehow oppose to your opinion, that younger men marrying older women are not normal. looking the situation from outside, it would seem that way. though, living here, and knowing hundreds of the same situation, ( younger men marrying older women, ) is a different thing... the only difference is, both person do not need to go through immigration process because they are both pinoys. and prefers to live her in our country. my mom and dad are a living testimony of that "NOT NORMAL " scenario. my mom is 55. and my dad is 47. but it was never an issue.

in defense on my part, I am marrying a filipina who happens to be an american citizen by naturalization. not a foreigner by birth. I am a licensed nurse, having my masteral degree at a university. earning a descent income. and opportunities to every countries are open.. but still, i chose to be with the woman i love. isnt that justifiable? that the immigration benefit the consul is referring is actually irrelevant if he tries to consider the fact that I would have chosen to go to some other countries where there is no recession, where economy is not at its downfall. .. how about that?could that be a logical answer?

Hi, sounds honest enough to me... good luck and great answer!!!

[Boiler 45,541]

http://www.denverpost.com/ci_12464762

I am sure there are many other stories that would be supportive.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I am older than my husband and that wasn't one mentioned at the interviews.

[Nat & Nate 0]

Hello, I am UKC (female, 38) and my fiance is USC and he is 25. We don't ever think about our age difference (I have just now because I've just typed it!) and it's not something we discuss. Nobody ever questions us or comments about it. It really doesn't bother us, we are blissfully happy!!

Good luck!