Attitudes changing when they come to the us

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

I know mine is not from Morocco but I have a friend who is. I was talking to him last night and some of the things he was saying I wanted to slap him for. Anyway, is it common for people when they come to completely change how they are until they go home and then they come back and change back. Like he was telling me that he doesnt smoke as much when he goes home but when he came back he is back to smoking like 2 packs a day. And then there was also the thing about islam. He was the one that first introduced me to it and at the time he was praying good and not doing so much when I first met him. But when I talked to him last night he said he doesnt pray bc he doesnt have time. I know he does work alot but how can you give up something that should be so important to you and is part of who you are. Anyway, then he was saying something that really blew me away about sex. Like in Morocco just going out having sex is not a good thing, but here it isnt as bad I guess. Anyway that is another topic. But he said that because he is here in America he has to be like the americans. Oh and he is here on a diversity lottery and has a green card so I know that it isnt on the base of that he is friends with me. And I have actually known him longer then my own fiance. LOL

My question is how far is too far and what are the experiences with spouses and even just friends who have immigrated.

[nurse1967 287]

My husband is from Egypt and he prayed 5 times a day before he came here and continues to do so now. Mosque isn't as accessible as it was in Egypt but he still gets upset if he can't make it to Friday prayer. As for the sex thing my husband recognizes that morales are different here but he still hasn't changed what he feels is right for him. What I am saying is that I think this guy was just looking for an an excuse to behave badly and found America to blame it on cause "everyone does it here". My husband was actually very shocked when he discovered that I nor my sister, mom or dad drink alcohol. We are are Christian and not very devout. He thought "everyone" in America likes to drink alcohol cause that's what they see in the media. Doesn't make it so.

[MrsAmera 41]

I think that it's very common for people to change when they come here but not necessarily the way that your friend has. I know people like your friend who come here and make the excuse that it's America's fault for their bad behavior. There are also people who come here and find the opposite. Overall I think that anyone that immigrates anywhere will change some aspects of their personality just due to circumstances. Some will be for the better and some for the worse. I know my husband was a lot different 6 months into his time in the US than he is now - part of it was just learning the ropes and finding his comfort level with life here. Does that make sense?

[KittyPollitt 284]

Have a coworker from Iran who prayed 5X daily and was strict when he came here. 15 years later, he drinks, smokes, eats pork and no longer calls himself Muslim. Also have an ex from Morocco who's been here for 6 years and was a moderately strict Muslim, and within 3 years of being here had knocked up a 17 year old he met in a nightclub, didn't marry her, and now is a cokehead who doesn't pay child support.. I guess it depends on the person, but America really can change someone..

[And_Sam 44]

When my hubby came over here, he prayed 5 prayers daily, made sure he carried his prayer rug when we went out of town and made sure to be as devout as possible.

I can't say he has changed completely but he is more relaxed about his daily prayers. For a while there we were going to alot of social gatherings with my co-workers who really likes to party and so he would occasionally drink. Now since Ramadan, he hasn't drank any alcohol. I think it's just a phase of doing what others do.

He is pretty much the same as in Egypt.

[amal 4]

It's very much like the college student. When they first leave the confines of their parent's rules/regulations, they go a little crazy. They do everything they were told they shouldn't...and they do it to the extreme. (not all of them...but a large percentage of them do).

So .. when our SO's leave their families, and the watchfull eyeballs of every person in their country...they can go to extremes. They have the ability to "rebel" against praying, to start drinking, premarital sex, drugs, everything that they would have not dreamt of doing in their home countries....coz in America, who knows them and who'se gonna tell? Again, it's not all of them. The range of rebellion varies between people, depending upon different personalities.

[Mithra 1,185]

It's possible but not always the case. It depends on the person.

Personally, I haven't seen any change in my husband other than he helps more around the house here than he did in Egypt. In his family, it's strange for men to be helpful around the house as far as cleaning or cooking. My husband isn't a drinker although he has had alcoholic beverages both here and in Egypt. He didn't practice Islam here or in Egypt much to his family's dismay. Being from Egypt and growing up there did not stop him from experiencing a lot of "typical" "Western-like" activities such as smoking, drinking, staying out late, chasing girls and other similar shenanigans. Maybe he got that out of his system at a young age so when he got here he didn't feel the need to go a little crazy? I don't know.

It's very much like the college student. When they first leave the confines of their parent's rules/regulations, they go a little crazy. They do everything they were told they shouldn't...and they do it to the extreme. (not all of them...but a large percentage of them do).

So .. when our SO's leave their families, and the watchfull eyeballs of every person in their country...they can go to extremes. They have the ability to "rebel" against praying, to start drinking, premarital sex, drugs, everything that they would have not dreamt of doing in their home countries....coz in America, who knows them and who'se gonna tell? Again, it's not all of them. The range of rebellion varies between people, depending upon different personalities.