I gotta know

[Daft02810 0]

The wife gets here in 1 week. I'm kinda wondering what's gonna happen. I mean, Is she gonna be on an emotional roller coaster or is it gonna be like everything is good. Plus what is she gonna like and dislike about things here. Will she rearrange everything in the house? I like to watch some football and have a beer or two on the weekend, will that be cool? These are only a few, a thousand more have been running through my brain. My VJ brothers, please let me know the good and the bad of when your Asawa got to the good 'ol US of A. Thanks so much.

[Gumbolette 58]

The wife gets here in 1 week. I'm kinda wondering what's gonna happen. I mean, Is she gonna be on an emotional roller coaster or is it gonna be like everything is good. Plus what is she gonna like and dislike about things here. Will she rearrange everything in the house? I like to watch some football and have a beer or two on the weekend, will that be cool? These are only a few, a thousand more have been running through my brain. My VJ brothers, please let me know the good and the bad of when your Asawa got to the good 'ol US of A. Thanks so much.

We can't answer all your questions since we don't know either. You're the only person who can see what's going to happen.

Everybody has different way of adapting into a new environment. Your wife might be in emotional roller coaster or she might be just lonesome in few days but after that she might be fine. Try to show her your place or even visit places. Have your second honeymoon to make up the time that was lost when both of you weren't together.

I know its terrifying anticipating a new chapter of your life but try to do things together so she won't feel alone and understand her if she'd have few tantrums since she is new in another country.

Good luck!

[Inky 1,111]

Yea, a lot of thos questions you will have to ask her yourself.. because only she knows what she would like and not like and if she would be sad and emotional. Make sure to communicate with her because that is very important.. if you dont she could feel even worse and more lonely if you dont talk with her and make sure things are ok.

I would say if she needs to rearange things to make her feel more comfortable let her. Moving to a new country and leaving everything you knew behind is a huge huge thing and you will need to probably be more understanding towards her.

[jrmejia 31]

The wife gets here in 1 week. I'm kinda wondering what's gonna happen. I mean, Is she gonna be on an emotional roller coaster or is it gonna be like everything is good. Plus what is she gonna like and dislike about things here. Will she rearrange everything in the house? I like to watch some football and have a beer or two on the weekend, will that be cool? These are only a few, a thousand more have been running through my brain. My VJ brothers, please let me know the good and the bad of when your Asawa got to the good 'ol US of A. Thanks so much.

I like your thinking. Each day of my life I am thinking more or less the same thing you are thinking.

Two of my major concerns:

I like to keep my place very neat. I only eat or snack in the kitchen dining table. I will not bring food to the living room, home office, bedrom, etc.

The second, (No offence to no one please)I noticed when I went to the Philippines that frying food is a big hit there. I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house. It makes a big mess in the kitchen and also it is not healthy at all.

We will see how we can work out those things . One thing for sure, I like to make her at home and happy so some of my rules will need to be bend..for the love of her now that was sweet ?

[evli1966 88]

I hope these are things you have discussed with her.

I agree you must do what is needed to allow her to feel at home and establish roots as this will be her house as well as yours.

I plan to maintain my normal activities when Joy arrives but will allow the day to day activities to dictate some changes to allow her to know she is more important than any habits or personal rules I may have.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

I like your thinking. Each day of my life I am thinking more or less the same thing you are thinking.

Two of my major concerns:

I like to keep my place very neat. I only eat or snack in the kitchen dining table. I will not bring food to the living room, home office, bedrom, etc.

The second, (No offence to no one please)I noticed when I went to the Philippines that frying food is a big hit there. I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house. It makes a big mess in the kitchen and also it is not healthy at all.

We will see how we can work out those things . One thing for sure, I like to make her at home and happy so some of my rules will need to be bend..for the love of her now that was sweet ?

You're going to have to do more than "bend" the frying food rule. There are very few Filipino dishes that don't include something fried. It's not just your home anymore once she gets there. I think you'll be surprised at just how healthy even the fried foods are. It's not like french fries and corn dogs. Her emotional health is gonna depend on how "at home" she feels. The easier you make it for her, the easier it will be for both of you. Skype, international plan for the home phone, magic jack in the Phils, Rebtel ...all of those will make a big difference. Spend all the time with her you possibly can and afford her all the attention she's going to need. She's going to miss the Philippines and her family but you can ease that a lot by making this HER home and never letting her feel like a visitor

[mrsean 4]

I like your thinking. Each day of my life I am thinking more or less the same thing you are thinking.

Two of my major concerns:

I like to keep my place very neat. I only eat or snack in the kitchen dining table. I will not bring food to the living room, home office, bedrom, etc.

The second, (No offence to no one please)I noticed when I went to the Philippines that frying food is a big hit there. I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house. It makes a big mess in the kitchen and also it is not healthy at all.

We will see how we can work out those things . One thing for sure, I like to make her at home and happy so some of my rules will need to be bend..for the love of her now that was sweet ?

does she know that you will not allow frying in the house?? LOL

[Tahoma 2,292]

I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house.

Huh? Do you fry food in your back yard? Or, do you fry food in someone else's kitchen?

I predict that she will be frying tuyo in your kitchen malapit na!

[Daft02810 0]

Yea, a lot of thos questions you will have to ask her yourself.. because only she knows what she would like and not like and if she would be sad and emotional. Make sure to communicate with her because that is very important.. if you dont she could feel even worse and more lonely if you dont talk with her and make sure things are ok.

I would say if she needs to rearange things to make her feel more comfortable let her. Moving to a new country and leaving everything you knew behind is a huge huge thing and you will need to probably be more understanding towards her.

No doubt I'll do anything to make her feel comfy and welcome. I guess what I'm looking for is an idea of something I haven't thought of.

[Daft02810 0]

I like your thinking. Each day of my life I am thinking more or less the same thing you are thinking.

Two of my major concerns:

I like to keep my place very neat. I only eat or snack in the kitchen dining table. I will not bring food to the living room, home office, bedrom, etc.

The second, (No offence to no one please)I noticed when I went to the Philippines that frying food is a big hit there. I like frying food but I refuse to cook it in the house. It makes a big mess in the kitchen and also it is not healthy at all.

We will see how we can work out those things . One thing for sure, I like to make her at home and happy so some of my rules will need to be bend..for the love of her now that was sweet ?

I also keep a tidy house but from what I've seen and talked to her about it won't be an issue. However I didn't think about the fried foods. I notice the same thing when I visited the PI but dismissed it as a difference in culture. I fry pretty much nothing. I go to the gym and run long distance at least 3 times a week and fried food is not even remotely healthy. We will have to discuss this and come to a conclusion together. Thanx.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I think this is a good and necessary conversation topic for you and your wife.

I would suggest that you be sensitive to her needs in the following areas....

Adjusting to the time zone- some are quick but seems most have a little struggle "flipping the clock". I think it could be physically difficult and if so, would probably cause some emotional duress.

Communicating with family- be sensitive to potential home-sickness and be supportive of your wife's desire to correspond with family/ friends.

Let it be her home- (Asawa ko is also from Taguite, I can't speak about other PI regions but for Taguite)...I percieve a strong matriarch influence in the home and desire/ welcome it.

Food- We have not had menu problems like others we have read about here. (I eat what Asawa ko eats and vice-versa) Seems that Filipino "comfort" food is an issue with some.

I know that our wives have been communicating periodically during your visa process. Feel free to encourage your wife to call/ text/ chat with Asawa ko whenever she might want.

Good Luck and Congrats on your reunion!

[Daft02810 0]

Huh? Do you fry food in your back yard? Or, do you fry food in someone else's kitchen?

I predict that she will be frying tuyo in your kitchen malapit na!

We have already discussed the Tuyo issue. I bought a LP grill with a side burner so she can cook Tuyo outside. She says she's ok with that.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I also keep a tidy house but from what I've seen and talked to her about it won't be an issue. However I didn't think about the fried foods. I notice the same thing when I visited the PI but dismissed it as a difference in culture. I fry pretty much nothing. I go to the gym and run long distance at least 3 times a week and fried food is not even remotely healthy. We will have to discuss this and come to a conclusion together. Thanx.

Haha! I predict your conclusion will be some fried food on the menu occasionally.

Filipino style fried chicken, tilapia and lumpia are masarap!

[jrmejia 31]

Huh? Do you fry food in your back yard? Or, do you fry food in someone else's kitchen?

I predict that she will be frying tuyo in your kitchen malapit na!

zero fry ...it gets the kitchen too messy....and beside it is toooooooooooooooooo unhealthy. I like it but I avoid it at all cost.

I use the oven instead...or broil...

Edited September 26, 2010 by jrmejia

[jrmejia 31]

Haha! I predict your conclusion will be some fried food on the menu occasionally.

Filipino style fried chicken, tilapia and lumpia are masarap!

That where some people go wrong. I can make tilapia (fish right?) almost same as fried without having to use oil...never heard of using the oven or broil.

Don't worry, I might teach her some trick that it it is not necessary to use oil to fry food. We will see...