Spawn from another thread

[jrmejia 31]

Hi guys,

My question for you is: assuming that fiancee gets her visa and she comes to USA. We then get married and have a kid. Later (for now strange reason) we get divorced. I really really hope not.

Who gets to keep the kid? My wife or I? And if she keeps the kid and go back to the Philippines, do I need to pay child support ? Guys I really don't mind paying child support but it all depends on many variables.

Thanks.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Child custody is up to the parents and the court in most cases. Usually the mother gets full custody.

Yes - if she takes the child back with her to the PI, you are still responsible for child support, after all, the child is still yours, correct? Most courts will make that part of the custody agreement.

Again - this depends on what happens in the divorce/custody.

Personally, there should be no variables imo - if your man enough to have a child, be man enough to provide for the child.

[Pinay Wife 47]

Who gets to keep the kid? My wife or I?

A U.S. court gets to decide that if you cannot agree on a mutual arrangement.

And if she keeps the kid and go back to the Philippines, do I need to pay child support ? Guys I really don't mind paying child support but it all depends on many variables.

In all probability yes, you will need to pay child support. Not sure though if she can collect if she takes the child out of the country.

[jrmejia 31]

Personally, there should be no variables imo - if your man enough to have a child, be man enough to provide for the child.

I think you took it wrong. Yes, I agree too. A man should be responsible of his acts.

But there is a reason for my question:

..if her intention is to have a child just for the simple reason to collect child support and fly back to her country ...... <-- that was the variable. ...I wonder if the court can look into that and let the father keeps the child

I would love with all MY OPEN heart to support the child and give him everything a father can afford to give his child. I think you mis-understood the variable.

[Tahoma 2,292]

..if her intention is to have a child just for the simple reason to collect child support and fly back to her country ...... <-- that was the variable. ...I wonder if the court can look into that and let the father keeps the child

If those were her intentions, why would she admit it to a judge? Sheesh...

It's fascinating to watch all of the ways in which you willfully ignore what's really going on in your relationship.

You must enjoy pain.

[jrmejia 31]

If those were her intentions, why would she admit it to a judge? Sheesh...

It's fascinating to watch all of the ways in which you willfully ignore what's really going on in your relationship.

You must enjoy pain.

or maybe I love her?

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

If those were her intentions, why would she admit it to a judge? Sheesh...

It's fascinating to watch all of the ways in which you willfully ignore what's really going on in your relationship.

You must enjoy pain.

(or) Perhaps, he is just being a realist?

(then) OP replies...yes! I'm just considering all possibilities.

(and) We all respond.....Do you really think your going to fix all these problems AFTER your married?

It's like watching a dog chase it's own tail....what's the use for the dog (?) and, entertaining to watch?

OP, I wonder how your fiancee would react to you posting this question...? Here's an idea....ask her. (if you dare!? Be ready to duck and run if you do!)

[silvermug 16]

or maybe I love her?

Well, if this card is used, I guess that cancels out everything else.

[Tahoma 2,292]

or maybe I love her?

"Maybe?" ...Gee...that sounds reassuring!

Of course, in some people's universe, being manipulated and lack of trust is a perfectly good basis for love.

(or) Perhaps, he is just being a realist?

(then) OP replies...yes! I'm just considering all possibilities.

(and) We all respond.....Do you really think your going to fix all these problems AFTER your married?

It's like watching a dog chase it's own tail....what's the use for the dog (?) and, entertaining to watch?

OP, I wonder how your fiancee would react to you posting this question...? Here's an idea....ask her. (if you dare!? Be ready to duck and run if you do!)

Well, if this card is used, I guess that cancels out everything else.

[Atencio 43]

A U.S. court gets to decide that if you cannot agree on a mutual arrangement.

In all probability yes, you will need to pay child support. Not sure though if she can collect if she takes the child out of the country.

If the divorce settlement allowed her to remove the child out of the U.S. then the state court could also force him to pay child support even if meant garnishment of wages. All she would need is a lawyer here in the U.S. I would think though that in a divorce situation he could request of the court that the mother not remove the child from the U.S. The mother could always still take the child in which case he could probably get out of paying (in my unlegal opinion). Of course we are only discussing child support, don't forget chance of alimony support also.

All of which makes it vital that you think wisely before you get married.

[jrmejia 31]

"Maybe?" ...Gee...that sounds reassuring!

Of course, in some people's universe, being manipulated and lack of trust is a perfectly good basis for love.

Oh well, maybe I think too much....

[jrmejia 31]

OP, I wonder how your fiancee would react to you posting this question...? Here's an idea....ask her. (if you dare!? Be ready to duck and run if you do!)

I am afraid to talk to her about this.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Oh well, maybe I think too much....

I see you are in your usual avoidance mode.

I am afraid to talk to her about this.

Of course you are.

[David & Kezia 25]

I see you are in your usual avoidance mode.

Of course you are.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I am afraid to talk to her about this.

OK...you got me...I'm in. (and we are spending the day being lazy..so..y not)

I've been watching your threads and not posting input bcoz 1) I'm still thinking maybe your a troll. 2) You have been getting some pretty good advice. Rlogan has me wondering if I should (hurry to the news stand and) pick up the current Superman comic to see if any1 sells Manipulate-O-Vision glasses or Instant Manipulator Repellant Spray (curious if that comes in vanilla or jasmine). I'm sure I could find both next to the X-Ray vision and Sea Monkey kits.

(but) 1st....I wonder if you would mind answering a couple questions before I launch into my own self indulgent diatribe...? Please don't assume my questions have any offensive meaning...just trying to eliminate or validate a hunch....ok,,,

1) When/if you ever run...are you limp wristed? (or) Arms inverted with wrists held against your chest?

2) When you feel angry...do you sometimes..burst into tears?

Would really like to know your answers so I will know which direction I want to go. I'm down to 2.

Thanks.

Edited September 26, 2010 by ~happyndinlove~