Change the way I dress?

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

Oh honey, the decision to convert is a hard one. The decision to hijab or not hijab is an even bigger one. The point of the hijab is not to stand out but it is also to not bring shame on yourself. It says that a woman should extend her scarf to cover her bosom. I live in rural Iowa and there is absolutely not another muslimah around me except 1 hour to 2 hours away from me but I still choose to cover my head so that I dont try to blend in either bc I live in a very Christian town. So do I cover and not blend in or do I blend in and make it seem as if Allah can not give me the strength to withstand the negative comments. I have actually not had any bad comments from anyone. I converted on my own through no real pressure from my so. He said he would marry me no matter what religion I was but I wanted to find out for myself what Islam was all about and Alhamduillah I found the peace that I was seeking. So ultimately the decision is yours and you can research more and more on it. There is a huge community of Muslimah or just Hijabis bc there are a few who are christian and cover on Facebook linked with Pearl Daisy Hijabs or Pearl Daisy Ltd. Anyway, ishaallah it was a lil helpful.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Oh honey, the decision to convert is a hard one. The decision to hijab or not hijab is an even bigger one. The point of the hijab is not to stand out but it is also to not bring shame on yourself. It says that a woman should extend her scarf to cover her bosom. I live in rural Iowa and there is absolutely not another muslimah around me except 1 hour to 2 hours away from me but I still choose to cover my head so that I dont try to blend in either bc I live in a very Christian town. So do I cover and not blend in or do I blend in and make it seem as if Allah can not give me the strength to withstand the negative comments. I have actually not had any bad comments from anyone. I converted on my own through no real pressure from my so. He said he would marry me no matter what religion I was but I wanted to find out for myself what Islam was all about and Alhamduillah I found the peace that I was seeking. So ultimately the decision is yours and you can research more and more on it. There is a huge community of Muslimah or just Hijabis bc there are a few who are christian and cover on Facebook linked with Pearl Daisy Hijabs or Pearl Daisy Ltd. Anyway, ishaallah it was a lil helpful.

are you freaking kidding me? this is absurd to the nth level.

[Anna and Ali 13]

Oh honey, the decision to convert is a hard one. The decision to hijab or not hijab is an even bigger one. The point of the hijab is not to stand out but it is also to not bring shame on yourself. It says that a woman should extend her scarf to cover her bosom. I live in rural Iowa and there is absolutely not another muslimah around me except 1 hour to 2 hours away from me but I still choose to cover my head so that I dont try to blend in either bc I live in a very Christian town. So do I cover and not blend in or do I blend in and make it seem as if Allah can not give me the strength to withstand the negative comments. I have actually not had any bad comments from anyone. I converted on my own through no real pressure from my so. He said he would marry me no matter what religion I was but I wanted to find out for myself what Islam was all about and Alhamduillah I found the peace that I was seeking. So ultimately the decision is yours and you can research more and more on it. There is a huge community of Muslimah or just Hijabis bc there are a few who are christian and cover on Facebook linked with Pearl Daisy Hijabs or Pearl Daisy Ltd. Anyway, ishaallah it was a lil helpful.

You are so sweet. Thank you.

[Anna and Ali 13]

I think I accidentally opened a very volatile subject, so I will leave it as it is. Thanks for the advice that I got and I apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes or caused some sort of hostile feelings in anyone.

I think I won't post unless its serious from now on to avoid any further confusion.

[Karonya and Adel 8]

"Geeze, I was in high school three years ago and now I feel like I'm making huge decisions. Where does the time go? "

i'm not saying how long it's been since i was in high school

Edited September 23, 2010 by Karonya and Adel

[Karonya and Adel 8]

I think I accidentally opened a very volatile subject, so I will leave it as it is. Thanks for the advice that I got and I apologize if I stepped on anyone's toes or caused some sort of hostile feelings in anyone.

I think I won't post unless its serious from now on to avoid any further confusion.

ahhh post what you feel you want to discuss and ignore the comments that aren't posted to help, just hinder.

[nurse1967 287]

I would like to see even one of these women tell the MENA SO, "by the way, I expect you to dress like you are American now that you are here". That would go over like a ton of lead. All I am saying is if dressing like you are Middle Eastern is your own ORIGINAL idea then go for it. Otherwise, don't be so easily lead down the proverbial primrose path. Maybe these are the same women that would let their American SO dictate what they wear as well. I dunno.

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

How was that absurd? I had to do a lot of soul searching before I decided to convert to Islam. It does not only effect me but it affects my children as well. And then when I chose to cover I had to face criticism from my family and my ex and his opinions on what it was doing to our daughter. If you are born Muslim that I can understand it being absurd but anyone who has converted knows the difficulties you face especially living in a state or town that is primarily Christian. I was just offering support to a sister I didn't need your approval or disapproval for a comment that obviously was understood by who it was meant for.

[Mithra 1,185]

Your post reminded me of the time a few months ago that I was grocery shopping and saw a niqabi shopping with her husband who was dressed in shorts, a Hawaiian shirt (gag) and mandals. It was a very hot day that day. Now I don't know if the woman wore niqab out of her own personal choice or if her husband expected it of her or whatever but I felt kinda weird seeing her all bundled up on a sweltering day whilst her husband was ready for the beach. Not really anything to do with the subject but I felt like sharing.

I would like to see even one of these women tell the MENA SO, "by the way, I expect you to dress like you are American now that you are here". That would go over like a ton of lead. All I am saying is if dressing like you are Middle Eastern is your own ORIGINAL idea then go for it. Otherwise, don't be so easily lead down the proverbial primrose path. Maybe these are the same women that would let their American SO dictate what they wear as well. I dunno.

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

Bless His Soul lyrics by the Jacksons

"I try to do what's right for me But no one sees the way I see And then I try to please them so But how far can this pleasing go Something's soon to come over you You just can't please the world and yourself You gotta start doing what's right for you' Cause life is being happy yourself Then you should bless his soul It's hard to find A person like you You're one of a kind If I were you, I'd change my mind And start living for me in these changing times" I don't know you but I use this myself.. it's up to you, what makes YOU happy but always put God first

Edited September 23, 2010 by wonderful07 2010

[Amber & Ahmed 133]

When I met my husband I admit freely I dressed very revealing, my motto "if God gave it to me why not flaunt it?" Since going to Egypt and marrying my King I have changed the way I dress. To be honest I find my new way of dressing much better. No longer do I get stared at for my fashion. I did try to wear the hijab only because I have such long black hair and lots of it and I wanted to try to be covered more. In the end it was not for me at all. I think really changing the way you dress is a great idea if you are open to it. Do not do it for anyone but yourself and your husband, who cares what others will say?

[Batta 6]

How was that absurd? I had to do a lot of soul searching before I decided to convert to Islam. It does not only effect me but it affects my children as well. And then when I chose to cover I had to face criticism from my family and my ex and his opinions on what it was doing to our daughter. If you are born Muslim that I can understand it being absurd but anyone who has converted knows the difficulties you face especially living in a state or town that is primarily Christian. I was just offering support to a sister I didn't need your approval or disapproval for a comment that obviously was understood by who it was meant for.

Sorry.. if you feel so pressured in a Christian town / Country how about then you pack and move to Arab country may be you feel more relaxed there!! No one forced you to live here!

I just cannot understand why so many Muslim people feeling the guilt of so called being abused or targeted by others in a country that accepts all religion practices.

Only people who cannot stand up for themselves find excuses of their surrounding to justify their weakness.

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

I am 100% American. I was born and raised here. Thanks so much. I can and will live where I please. And I will praise and worship a god that I choose too. Im not trying to justify anything.

[Batta 6]

Your post reminded me of the time a few months ago that I was grocery shopping and saw a niqabi shopping with her husband who was dressed in shorts, a Hawaiian shirt (gag) and mandals. It was a very hot day that day. Now I don't know if the woman wore niqab out of her own personal choice or if her husband expected it of her or whatever but I felt kinda weird seeing her all bundled up on a sweltering day whilst her husband was ready for the beach. Not really anything to do with the subject but I felt like sharing.

And if you go to the arab gulf countries and walk during June till Sep when it is actually hot and humid you can possibly see that most of the women dress in shorts or underwear below the “ Abbaya” ( saw many of them when the wind comes flying )because it is simply hot, others poses this “Dirty Sweaty Smell’ that kills you no wonder they use a lot of perfume or “ bokhoor”

[Staashi 371]

I really really appreciate your response. Plus the website where you shop is awesome! Thanks for the advice. I totally agree that often people get super enthused at the beginning because it is so exciting and new. If anything, over the last three years I have gotten further and further interested instead of my interest waning. I see the way his mom dresses and I just think wow, she look absolutely stunning and super sophisticated because you aren't distracted by all that skin and ill-fittingmaterial. It also comes across as really confident when a woman doesn't need to rely on over the top hair and low cut blouses to feel good. Once in a while I like to be dressed up and be a little bit...idk what the word for it is but just a bit less modest i guess.

Looking back to high school I almost always wore long sleeves and I still wear jeans all year round even during our heat waves this summer. My mom would always complain but I didn't feel self-conscious or on display when I was covered more. I think its not so much what you are wearing but how it makes you feel. I really, really, take to heart everythign you guys are saying as a newbie and as a naive youngster. <3

For now, just continue with your conservative dress - when the day comes that you feel called to throw on a hijab - do it. I'm Catholic and for the most part - let's say 90% of the time I'm in pretty conservative clothes. It just works for me. I don't want to go out in the world showing my assets.