How do I end the K-1 process

[SuperDuper! 230]

Still Hopeful,

Just be careful, I was in the same boat as you in 1994 and I brought her here. She made my life hell for 2 1/2 years and then she left me. She put me $120,000 in debt during that time and then tried to take one of my rentals in the divorce. Which she wanted me to wait on. Because she hadn't gotten her Citizenship yet. She got Permanent Resident statis from me, but had to wait to get her Citizenship. I should have kicked her back onto the plane back to Peru on the day I met her at the airport.As stated in a post above, it only gets worse when they get here, not better. If you are fighting now, it will be War when she gets here. So if you are fighting now, don't sponsor her. You will be sorry. Bill

:thumbs:

[Speedytax 3]

:thumbs:

Hopp, the reason I made that quote about kicking her back on the airplane, is because that was where the change started.In Peru, it was true and forever love. I was her true love and she was mine. At the airport, I drove 300 miles to meet her plane at the POE, Seattle. I was standing at the place where she came out of the secured area, with flowers and a big smile. She came out of customs with a frown on her face and she just said "Come on". I knew she had a long flight, so I rented a hotel room right next to the airport, so she could shower and rest, before our 6 hour drive back to my town. She complained because I wasn't driving a new car and complained that nothing I had or did was good enough. She hated my house, because it was made out of wood and her cousin said because I owned my own business, We should live in Country Club Drive. She told me within 2 days, either I agree to buy her a house in Country Club Drive, or she was going back to Peru.I tried to reason with her, and I tried to make her happy, but all she liked to do was spend money. I refinanced my paid off house, refinanced 2 of my rentals, she maxed out all my Credit cards, and then she left me 7 days after getting her Permenent Resident Card from Immigration.I still loved her and waited 3 months for her to come back, helping her daily.But she was just trying to get me to wait until she got her US Citizenship, which was 3 years after marriage in 1997.She had put me so far into debt, I was going to have to sell my rentals and possibly my house to get out of debt. But in Idaho, if I would have done that when we were married,she could have tried to claim 1/2.So I told her we had to get back together or get a divorce. She was dating 3 other guys at the time and felt her freedom was worth more than the money she would get from me later.So we got divorced. When we married, I was debt free, when we divorced, I owed $120,000. I still love her and still prepare her Tax returns for her, but she has been married twice since leaving me and has bought and sold 12 houses in those 13 years.

So while I hope our friend here has good luck in his marrriage, I had a great relationship before she got to America, and hell after she got here.I thought about not marrying her in the 90 days, but I kept hoping it would go back to how it was in Peru, after she got used to America. It didn't. Now I am trying the same thing with a girl in China. Will it work? I don't know. But I will do my best and hope she gives me a child as a heir. But lets be honest, over 50% of all US marriages end in Divorce. i am hopeful, not stupid. Bill

[endoftheroad 1]

Still Hopeful.

Your post has been edited twice. Once by "endoftheroad" who said "broken" Another by "floridadave" who said "i can not marry this lady". Maybe I'm to old and not seeing things right but looks to me your 3 in the same. ... All 3 of u. If i am wrong please correct me, for gods sake i pray i am wrong.

I post for myself, one account, so you can stand corrected. I never, and AFAIK can't, edit another member's posts. Maybe you are confused with quoted posts?

Anyway, all of Still Hopeful's thoughts can be digested by him by waiting to get the airline ticket for that girl (assuming he is buying her ticket). If SH wants to take a great chance by just letting the chips fall where they may then he'll fly her over ASAP. He's responsible for her. If SH wants to ignore all the REAL stories of distraught by this situation, and all the legal and financial pitfalls, that's up to him. We can only advise based on experience.

Edited September 26, 2010 by endoftheroad

[endoftheroad 1]

BTW, I ended a K-1 this month (for different reasons than SH's).

It is not easy but this is a serious life-changing move and has to be done levelheaded.

[*Yankee Love* 15]

Still Hope I support your decision of letting her try the interview and let her come to the US,... you yourself only know the reasons of this..Maybe it works out, but please dont be begged into marriage !

Marriage is for the rest of your live cuz you LOVE not because you feel BAD for someone cuz they did so much to come to the US and give up.

[Ban Hammer 13,206]

Still Hopeful.

Your post has been edited twice. Once by "endoftheroad" who said "broken"

Another by "floridadave" who said "i can not marry this lady".

the only person on this website that can edit another one's post is site admin. not even the mods cannot edit another member's post.

you can edit your own post within 5 minutes of posting a reply. after that, it's locked and you cannot edit it.

what you are seeing is those two members editing their own post, within the 5 minute window.

[rongnjohn 1]

Well? Is there a happy continuation to this story?

[Ryan H 3,812]

OP:

I know the interview date has come and gone, however, based on your postings, and the follow up postings as they relate to your situation, I just don't see a happy ending here.

Ultimately, it's up to you. Hope for the best, whatever happens.

[justashooter 430]

Boiler - hard to say - 'emotions' from a Chinese Woman are not comparable to any other ethnic group, especially when hysteria is settling in.

chinese women are each unique creatures. many are very childish, self centered, and immature in their thinking, even compared to American women. when they arrive in USA the freedom here that does not exist in their homeland amplifies the character flaws they already have. chinese people are used to "group think" control over their lives, and if not already extremely well educated and accomplished will often not be able to manage their own lives once liberated by USA culture. this in a practical sense, as well as in terms of relationships. chinese women do not feel secure with men who do not dominate a marriage, in a general sense. if you are loking for equality and an egalitarian relationship this will freak the average chinese woman out.

[Darnell 8,478]

shooter - YUP !

[Speedytax 3]

Shooter, that is an interesting theory. I have just sent your post to my Fiance to see what she thinks. I am a very dominant person, being a business owner and single for 53 years of my life. But my ex-wife from Peru wanted to be the boss, and that didn't work out at all. Most American women don't like a dominant man, they think they should be in control, but don't have the capability of handling day to day life.I hope my Fiance agrees with your assessment, it would sure make my life easier, I could be myself. Bill

[Speedytax 3]

Shooter, that is an interesting theory. I have just sent your post to my Fiance to see what she thinks. I am a very dominant person, being a business owner and single for 53 years of my life. But my ex-wife from Peru wanted to be the boss, and that didn't work out at all. Most American women don't like a dominant man, they think they should be in control, but don't have the capability of handling day to day life.I hope my Fiance agrees with your assessment, it would sure make my life easier, I could be myself. Bill

Shooter, I sent a copy of your post to my Fiance.She disagrees. She says Chinese women don't like the man to be in charge.We didn't talk about it very long. I told her I felt that we should be equals, partners in our future life together. She agrees. We'll see when she finally gets here. Bill

[Speedytax 3]

So what did Still Hopeful decide? The Interview was scheduled a week ago. Did you decide to give her a chance? Did she pass the inteview? Bill

[endoftheroad 1]

you will be urged to work long hours, to make lots of money, to have a high social position, and to run your sex life, whether she is part of it or not. if you fail in any of these measures you will be hammered until you either perform, or quit. if you quit, she will leave. period, the end.

GOOD RIDDANCE TO THIS BEOTCH!

she is marrying you to see the amazement on your friend's faces when you show them your new house, your new car, her new jewelry, how many dinners you can host, and how much alcohol you can drink. if your show is big enuf she is yours forever in any way you want. if not, put a fork in it now.

GOOD RIDDANCE TO THIS BEOTCH! NO ONE IN THE WORLD IS WORTH THAT KIND OF IMMATURITY.

[Credzba 0]

you made your first mistake in sending my comment to your fiancee. let's see if we can dig you out of that hole. if not, you have the wrong woman.

while chinese women like their man to be "in charge" they do not want the man to be in charge only of them. they want him to be in charge of the whole world, and will give control of themselves to the man in the measure by which he rules the world around him. most chinese women are looking for an alpha male that will perform in the boardroom, at the bank, at the banquet, and in the bed, but they do not want to acknowledge ...

Just wanted to post, I am happily married to a Chinese woman, all that stuff you say about "being in charge: is not applicable at ALL.

If I acted the way you say, I would be divorced in a heartbeat.

We are very much equals, though we each know the things that the other is better at.

In most things, we think so much alike you would think we were mind readers, but if there is a conflict we find a solution, not some alpha-male dominate decision.

So, while someone wants a dominant spouse, it certainly is not true for the Chinese women I know.

My wife says it best I think, she wants me to be her mountain when she needs one, that doesn't mean run her life, it means support her in what SHE wants to do.