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triaxiom

What if your other half develops a friendship...

By triaxiom in General Polls

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116 members have voted

  1. 1. Would it be an issue?

    • Yes
      56
    • No
      60

  2. 2. Would you be suspicous of your OH's intents?

    • Yes
      31
    • No
      85

  3. 3. Would you be suspicous of your OH's new friend's intents?

    • Yes
      87
    • No
      29

55 posts in this topic

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PlatyPius Experienced

PlatyPius   5

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted

Oops. I voted before I read the post.

Oh well. Answers would be the same, I reckon.

I trust Sian completely. It would not be an issue. I would not be suspicious of her intent. I probably would be a little suspicious of the male friend's intentions, though.

Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. ####### coated bastards with ####### filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bobble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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LuzyC Experienced

LuzyC   0

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Philippines
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Not an issue..No problem with me..Gary have all my trust completely and Im very confident with our relationship,I know and I believe that I am his One And Only Woman!Besides I have a few male friends and its not a big deal to him.

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Bible.jpgcm66.gifFor my dear Mother - May 10 '44 -Sept 14 '07

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Arazia Rising Star

Arazia   0

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Netherlands
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While I'll admit freely that I'd be a little jealous, especially if said person started taking up the time he'd spend with me usually via the telephone or the internet, I'd still trust him. Harry has made it so very clear to me that I'm the one he wants to be with, and I believe him. I have friends of the opposite sex who are close to me, and he trusts me, so that is very much returned.

Our K-1 Visa/AOS/RoC timeline can be found here.

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djcess Community Regular

djcess   0

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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An issue? yes. Unless she's tomboyish, nerd or not a threat. :devil:

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amarceau Collaborator

amarceau   0

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
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I too trust my husband explicitly. However, that being said... my husbands still keeps in contact with his ex (right before me)..... I trust him... but still bugs me a little :blush: I try not to let it... I trust him, but not her. We all know what women can be like.... :huh:

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tmma Experienced

tmma   467

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Filed: Country: Netherlands
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While I'll admit freely that I'd be a little jealous, especially if said person started taking up the time he'd spend with me usually via the telephone or the internet, I'd still trust him. Harry has made it so very clear to me that I'm the one he wants to be with, and I believe him. I have friends of the opposite sex who are close to me, and he trusts me, so that is very much returned.

O/T--Hey-arazia-Did you know there is a Netherlands thread also in Regional disscussions? :)

Liefde is een bloem zo teer dat hij knakt bij de minste aanraking en zo sterk dat niets zijn groei in de weg staat

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---

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Jenn! Grand Master

Jenn!   918

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
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Neither of us have friendships with members of the opposite sex (except for married or otherwise unavailable people), and neither of us have any desire to. It's a cultural thing for him, for me it's just the way it is.

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Fandango Grand Master

Fandango   1,439

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)

Yanno what I find funny......

Overwhelmingly (in the 66% right now) no one would have a probbo

also in the 80% no one would doubt our partners..

yet over 50% would doubt the friend.

I find that akin to when a partner cheats, the other blames the third party. If you trust your partner...that also means trusting your partner to make good judgement calls with people...so why project what (seems to me) as being uncomfortable with a mixed sex friendship onto a person you've never met? Just come outright and say so...because if you doubt the friend, then that 66% is wrong cos ppl are lying, maybe even to themselves

That's just the way I see it!

Edited by LisaD
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triaxiom Contributor

triaxiom   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Timeline
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Yanno what I find funny......

Overwhelmingly (in the 66% right now) no one would have a probbo

also in the 80% no one would doubt our partners..

yet over 50% would doubt the friend.

I find that akin to when a partner cheats, the other blames the third party. If you trust your partner...that also means trusting your partner to make good judgement calls with people...so why project what (seems to me) as being uncomfortable with a mixed sex friendship onto a person you've never met? Just come outright and say so...because if you doubt the friend, then that 66% is wrong cos ppl are lying, maybe even to themselves

That's just the way I see it!

Friendships can often lead elsewhere.

It does take two to tango, but I've often seen mixed sex friendships where one party clearly has a desire to be more than friends, even if the other party is oblivious to the fact

Big meanie.

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vartan Proficient

vartan   0

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Taiwan
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I would not care if my fiance had a guy friend.. I would trust her .. and I would trust the guy .. because they would know that if he touched her I would stab him .. ahahhaha :P .. But I know my fiance would never cheat on me and I would never cheat on her.. so no big deal. But again he touches her .. I stab him. :P

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Arazia Rising Star

Arazia   0

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Netherlands
 Timeline
Posted
O/T--Hey-arazia-Did you know there is a Netherlands thread also in Regional disscussions? :)

I saw, but most of the conversation seems to be in Dutch. I don't actually understand the Dutch language, my fiancee' speaks quite fluent English so this has never been a problem.

Our K-1 Visa/AOS/RoC timeline can be found here.

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Fandango Grand Master

Fandango   1,439

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted

Yanno what I find funny......

Overwhelmingly (in the 66% right now) no one would have a probbo

also in the 80% no one would doubt our partners..

yet over 50% would doubt the friend.

I find that akin to when a partner cheats, the other blames the third party. If you trust your partner...that also means trusting your partner to make good judgement calls with people...so why project what (seems to me) as being uncomfortable with a mixed sex friendship onto a person you've never met? Just come outright and say so...because if you doubt the friend, then that 66% is wrong cos ppl are lying, maybe even to themselves

That's just the way I see it!

Friendships can often lead elsewhere.

It does take two to tango, but I've often seen mixed sex friendships where one party clearly has a desire to be more than friends, even if the other party is oblivious to the fact

Of course I agree with you completely...they CAN...but what I'm saying is, people are lying on the poll.

Now it's 64% saying they would be suspicious of the friend yet 80% wouldn't be suspicious of the partner. Why suspicion on another person? Why place the 'sinister motives' on the other individual only?

But my main point is 64% have a probbo with the friend, yet 60% say there would be no issue with the friendship. To me, these two figures contradict each other. If you have a suspicion then you have problem -I'm not saying this in the 'you have a problem with yourself' insulty way, but suspicion is a problem, no? it denotes that you're not entirey comfortable with a situation.

So if there's a problem, it's an issue

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garya505 Experienced

garya505   2

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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Posted
So during your seperation of however many miles it is, your OH develops what seems to be a close (take your mind out the gutter) friendship with someone of the opposite sex...

Issue?

Well, I have a friend who's fiance had an affair with a "friend", got pregnant and had an abortion. She didn't tell her fiance about (she told him she is a virgin). Now she's in the US with him and due to be married in a month. The rumors are getting around and making their way back to him but he doesn't believe it.

Looks like a "train wreck" about to happen here, folks ...

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