Need urgent help regarding VAWA!!!

[sheilsys 0]

Regardless of interview You should file WAVA ASAP before interview

I WENT THROUGHT THIS BEFORE, WHAT I DID WAS DIVORCE MY DRUNKEN HUSBAND, SAVED ALL THE LETTERS AND PHONE CONVERSATIONS AND DID MMY OWN SELF PETITION, AFTER ONE YEAR, FOR THE INTERVIEW, ALL THEY ASKED ME WAS "DID YOU KNOW HE WAS THIS WAY BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM?" AND I SAID NO. I ALSO APPEALED AGAINST HARDSHIP AS I HAVE NOTHING TO COME BACK TO ANYMORE IN THE PHILIPPINES. sO , THEY GRANDTED ME 10 YEARS GREEN CARD RIGHT THERE AND THEN,

BY THE WAY....I NEVER USED LAWYERS....JUST FILED ALL THE PAPERS ON MY OWN

Edited September 14, 2010 by sheilsys

[rlogan 2,036]

BTW, what do you mean by "you can get a cheap, simple divorce and apply for the ten year green card alone without VAWA"? My understanding is that even if I got the temperal green card it takes two years at least to remove the condition. And if he changes his mind and divorces me before that, I won't have the green card at all.

Please read the thread pinned at the top of this page regarding divorce prior to removal of conditions.

The short answer is that divorce prior to the expiration of the two-year green card does not automatically result in your deportation. If your marriage was entered into with good faith, if you made it through the AOS interview and got a green card, despite being divorced after that you can apply for removal of conditions on your own.

note: I just read the more complete details you provided and it was important that you did so. The above is generally true for K-1 visa applicants who are adjusting status based on marriage. I think you came in on student visa, then work, then tried to adjust status based on marriage.

I am not sure if coming in first as a student or for work changes things but it changes nothing in terms of advice: the advice is to proceed with the truth: to file VAWA now and to document everything as the requirements provide. Forget about any strategy invovling deception of immigration officials.

If I thought there was a decent chance marriage counselling and a real effort on the part of both husband and wife could save the marriage then I would recommend that and to attend the interview together being forthright about your marriage. The advice you are getting from a shady lawyer and from at least one poster here is very different: in effect to commit a felony by trying to trick the interviewing officer into believing your marriage is just dandy so that you can get the 2 yr green card into your hands. This is very bad advice, and also against the terms of service at VisaJourney. We do not advise committing crimes.

Good luck. Document abuse in as great a detail as you can muster.

[mochamom 0]

Thank you so much for your reply! It really gives me some hope there. Is it ok if I could email you and ask some questions?

Many many thanks!!!

I WENT THROUGHT THIS BEFORE, WHAT I DID WAS DIVORCE MY DRUNKEN HUSBAND, SAVED ALL THE LETTERS AND PHONE CONVERSATIONS AND DID MMY OWN SELF PETITION, AFTER ONE YEAR, FOR THE INTERVIEW, ALL THEY ASKED ME WAS "DID YOU KNOW HE WAS THIS WAY BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM?" AND I SAID NO. I ALSO APPEALED AGAINST HARDSHIP AS I HAVE NOTHING TO COME BACK TO ANYMORE IN THE PHILIPPINES. sO , THEY GRANDTED ME 10 YEARS GREEN CARD RIGHT THERE AND THEN,

BY THE WAY....I NEVER USED LAWYERS....JUST FILED ALL THE PAPERS ON MY OWN

[mochamom 0]

Hi I am so sorry hear that you have gone through this too. I will email you. Thanks so much!

i am so sorry u hav to go trough all of this.... i am so ssorry cause i went trough almostr the same thing as u do now... and i undesrtand how hard ur pregnacy situation can be wihout him.... i have a baby too and went trough hell with my husband..... well i am here to help as much as i can, i do not thing u should go to the appoinmt....my opinion , but you should check with AN iimigration lawyer... or pro bo attorney.... u may email me if you need us to talk about this.

[Yahya54 4]

its sad how the spouse use the immigration status as way to hurt the other im sur even if you asked hime he want do it that what happend to me sorry about what you have to go throu okey you can go to the interview by your self and you told the IO that you apply for selfpetition vawa and they will give 30 days to do so

[mochamom 0]

Thanks for your detailed reply. I didn't plan to lie in front of the immigration officer. I was just very confused and scared...

My biggest fear now is that my husband has already reported to immigration to get me deported. He said that he would tell them that it's not a real marriage for him! He said once I am back to my country I won't be able to even claim any child support from him (honestly speaking if I can stay here and get back to my feet, I won't even ask him for that! I don't want him to be in our life!) But can he really do that? The lawyer said that US government doesn't really go after their citizens even if they did commit such a crime. So I am guessing he has nothing to fear to black-mail me by saying it's a fake marriage since he wouldn't get any harm from that. I know this sounds crazy that it seems that I married such a monster, but can he really do that??? If he did what will happen to me? Being deported and never being able to come back to this country again? I know it takes 6 monthes for us to go through the divorce, while we go through that, can I still be here?

I am so exhausted and depressed now...But I told myself that I have to keep going and fighting for the sake of my baby...Thanks so much for your all help!!!

Please read the thread pinned at the top of this page regarding divorce prior to removal of conditions.

The short answer is that divorce prior to the expiration of the two-year green card does not automatically result in your deportation. If your marriage was entered into with good faith, if you made it through the AOS interview and got a green card, despite being divorced after that you can apply for removal of conditions on your own.

note: I just read the more complete details you provided and it was important that you did so. The above is generally true for K-1 visa applicants who are adjusting status based on marriage. I think you came in on student visa, then work, then tried to adjust status based on marriage.

I am not sure if coming in first as a student or for work changes things but it changes nothing in terms of advice: the advice is to proceed with the truth: to file VAWA now and to document everything as the requirements provide. Forget about any strategy invovling deception of immigration officials.

If I thought there was a decent chance marriage counselling and a real effort on the part of both husband and wife could save the marriage then I would recommend that and to attend the interview together being forthright about your marriage. The advice you are getting from a shady lawyer and from at least one poster here is very different: in effect to commit a felony by trying to trick the interviewing officer into believing your marriage is just dandy so that you can get the 2 yr green card into your hands. This is very bad advice, and also against the terms of service at VisaJourney. We do not advise committing crimes.

Good luck. Document abuse in as great a detail as you can muster.

[rlogan 2,036]

Thanks for your detailed reply. I didn't plan to lie in front of the immigration officer. I was just very confused and scared...

My biggest fear now is that my husband has already reported to immigration to get me deported. He said that he would tell them that it's not a real marriage for him! He said once I am back to my country I won't be able to even claim any child support from him (honestly speaking if I can stay here and get back to my feet, I won't even ask him for that! I don't want him to be in our life!) But can he really do that? The lawyer said that US government doesn't really go after their citizens even if they did commit such a crime. So I am guessing he has nothing to fear to black-mail me by saying it's a fake marriage since he wouldn't get any harm from that. I know this sounds crazy that it seems that I married such a monster, but can he really do that??? If he did what will happen to me? Being deported and never being able to come back to this country again? I know it takes 6 monthes for us to go through the divorce, while we go through that, can I still be here?

I am so exhausted and depressed now...But I told myself that I have to keep going and fighting for the sake of my baby...Thanks so much for your all help!!!

This very kind of threat is what you need to document as best you can. Threats and intimidation are abuse that support your VAWA claim. They are also supportive of a restraining order to have no contact with you, which again all lends greater assistance to a VAWA filing.

Here again I am not so impressed with the lawyer. His comment seems to be that you can't have the husband prosecuted for the threat. But you can certainly protect yourself against exactly that sort of thing through a restraining order. This is so common in divorce cases as to be a no-brainer for the lawyer. People are commonly at each others' throats over divorce and ask judges for protective orders - e.g. no contact except for official court business, etc.

I hope you are gaining for an appreciation for how a lot of the exhaustion and depression has to do with not filing a VAWA claim. The more you prolong filing, the more exhausted and depressed you are going to be.

[mochamom 0]

I just went to police station today to get the domestic violence report. However when I read it through, I found that the police officer didn't write down some pieces of very important information, such as my husband threatened to get me deported, and took of the insurance, etc. The whole report doesn't look serious at all. Is there a way that I could possibly get it amended, based on the recording that I caught on my cell (I don't know where I got an impression that recording without the consent from the other party is not going to be valid though).

Also when you mentioned to document everything, you mean personal documentation by me, correct? I don't know if such a police report would be of any help now...

Thanks for your detailed reply. I didn't plan to lie in front of the immigration officer. I was just very confused and scared...

My biggest fear now is that my husband has already reported to immigration to get me deported. He said that he would tell them that it's not a real marriage for him! He said once I am back to my country I won't be able to even claim any child support from him (honestly speaking if I can stay here and get back to my feet, I won't even ask him for that! I don't want him to be in our life!) But can he really do that? The lawyer said that US government doesn't really go after their citizens even if they did commit such a crime. So I am guessing he has nothing to fear to black-mail me by saying it's a fake marriage since he wouldn't get any harm from that. I know this sounds crazy that it seems that I married such a monster, but can he really do that??? If he did what will happen to me? Being deported and never being able to come back to this country again? I know it takes 6 monthes for us to go through the divorce, while we go through that, can I still be here?

I am so exhausted and depressed now...But I told myself that I have to keep going and fighting for the sake of my baby...Thanks so much for your all help!!!

[rlogan 2,036]

I just went to police station today to get the domestic violence report. However when I read it through, I found that the police officer didn't write down some pieces of very important information, such as my husband threatened to get me deported, and took of the insurance, etc. The whole report doesn't look serious at all. Is there a way that I could possibly get it amended, based on the recording that I caught on my cell (I don't know where I got an impression that recording without the consent from the other party is not going to be valid though).

Also when you mentioned to document everything, you mean personal documentation by me, correct? I don't know if such a police report would be of any help now...

There are lazy cops and there are corrupt cops and you have to push to make sure they do what is right. Were it me, I would contact them and get them to make a complete report. You might have to talk to his superior officer. Sheesh, it's like leaving the fact he hit you out of a domestic violence report. Later on yes, they will look at the report and say golly, there is nothing in here.

I try to put things into writing when I am confronted with lazy or corrupt officials and I try to force them into responding in writing. Try diplomacy first.

State laws govern what can be recorded with or without the permission of the other party. You should be able to google that up for your state.

[mochamom 0]

Thanks Rlogan. I have another question to ask: I was not able to tell the truth to the first two police officers because I was afraid of my husband (he was present) so no police report was filed. But lucky, I texted a friend while my husband was yelling and abusing me asking her to call police(I have that text saved where I mentioned to my friend that not only my husband was mentally abusing me, but also hit me), however she saw the message a few hours later and called the police again for me when my husband had already gone. When the second police officer came, I was able to tell him what happened. He then insisted that I should file domestic voience. Now I am reading the copy of the report, it stated as what I told him, also mentioned that "no witness" was around...I don't know if this (no witness) is going to be any problem, since everything was based on what I told him...

Ever since that happened, I have been so stressed and depressed so called "crisis line" several time ended being put on 5150 (basically for people who has suisidal tendency). When I called "crisis line", I just wanted to talk to someone and get some emotional support. I knew nothing about 5150 until I was put in a mental health hospital. Boy what a dreadful experience for me because the staff at the mental health hospital was so crule to me ignoring all my medical problems with high risk pregancy although I kept begging them to let me see my OB, later that night I almost started preterm labour! I was rushed back to hospital and just got discharged. This experience changed my whole view-I almost lost my dear baby boy. When the phychiatrist came to evaluate me, I had determined to remain calm so I won't be sent back again-just for my baby. They then recommended that I should start seeing therapist. I don't know if this is going to affect my case negtively or positively. But nevertheless, remaining strong for my baby would be my only focus now.

I don't know how strong my case is, especially we don't have mutual friends-basically my husband told me that he didn't have friends and has been very distant from his family all the time (which I knew for a fact since he lost his own mother before he was two and his father remarried soon after that). I have only two friends who has met him and know the stories. He introduced me to his coworkers once but I don't remember any of their names...My husband is a real private person. The only thing that I have to prove the relationship is some pictures since last year; my miscarriage last year while with him (he was on my emergency contact as boyfriend in my medical files as well as work files); I am currently on his health insurance and pregant with his baby; a rental lease since this Aprial with both of our names on it. However we don't have a bank account together, or any other shared properties together-our marriage was still new before everything went hell down.

Can you or anyone on this board tell me how strong is my case? I can't stop worrying maybe due to the hormones...

Also I read from this board from somewhere else that I can go to the interview by myself and tell them that I am filing VAWA so my marriage based AOS would be pending while I do that...I already received EDA but can still use it?

Many many many thanks to you!!!

There are lazy cops and there are corrupt cops and you have to push to make sure they do what is right. Were it me, I would contact them and get them to make a complete report. You might have to talk to his superior officer. Sheesh, it's like leaving the fact he hit you out of a domestic violence report. Later on yes, they will look at the report and say golly, there is nothing in here.

I try to put things into writing when I am confronted with lazy or corrupt officials and I try to force them into responding in writing. Try diplomacy first.

State laws govern what can be recorded with or without the permission of the other party. You should be able to google that up for your state.

[rlogan 2,036]

Thanks Rlogan. I have another question to ask: I was not able to tell the truth to the first two police officers because I was afraid of my husband (he was present) so no police report was filed. But lucky, I texted a friend while my husband was yelling and abusing me asking her to call police(I have that text saved where I mentioned to my friend that not only my husband was mentally abusing me, but also hit me), however she saw the message a few hours later and called the police again for me when my husband had already gone. When the second police officer came, I was able to tell him what happened. He then insisted that I should file domestic voience. Now I am reading the copy of the report, it stated as what I told him, also mentioned that "no witness" was around...I don't know if this (no witness) is going to be any problem, since everything was based on what I told him...

I'm a little unclear because the story has not been told straight from the beginning. Somehow the police showed up. It is not clear why. But there was either one or two officers who came, and you did not tell them "the truth". It is hard to know what to say about this without knowing who called them, what was said to prompt them coming, and what was said after they came.

It sounds like a second police visit occurred after your friend found the text message. The husband had left by this time. But a police officer came. He made a report that included your allegations of domestic violence, and that there were no witnesses. Well, you can't do any better than what the circumstances are. In part it depends on whether there is any contrary testimony and if the rest of your actions are consistent with and add credence what you say.

Ever since that happened, I have been so stressed and depressed so called "crisis line" several time ended being put on 5150 (basically for people who has suisidal tendency). When I called "crisis line", I just wanted to talk to someone and get some emotional support. I knew nothing about 5150 until I was put in a mental health hospital. Boy what a dreadful experience for me because the staff at the mental health hospital was so crule to me ignoring all my medical problems with high risk pregancy although I kept begging them to let me see my OB, later that night I almost started preterm labour! I was rushed back to hospital and just got discharged. This experience changed my whole view-I almost lost my dear baby boy. When the phychiatrist came to evaluate me, I had determined to remain calm so I won't be sent back again-just for my baby. They then recommended that I should start seeing therapist. I don't know if this is going to affect my case negtively or positively. But nevertheless, remaining strong for my baby would be my only focus now.

I don't know how strong my case is, especially we don't have mutual friends-basically my husband told me that he didn't have friends and has been very distant from his family all the time (which I knew for a fact since he lost his own mother before he was two and his father remarried soon after that). I have only two friends who has met him and know the stories. He introduced me to his coworkers once but I don't remember any of their names...My husband is a real private person. The only thing that I have to prove the relationship is some pictures since last year; my miscarriage last year while with him (he was on my emergency contact as boyfriend in my medical files as well as work files); I am currently on his health insurance and pregant with his baby; a rental lease since this Aprial with both of our names on it. However we don't have a bank account together, or any other shared properties together-our marriage was still new before everything went hell down.

Can you or anyone on this board tell me how strong is my case? I can't stop worrying maybe due to the hormones...

Also I read from this board from somewhere else that I can go to the interview by myself and tell them that I am filing VAWA so my marriage based AOS would be pending while I do that...I already received EDA but can still use it?

Many many many thanks to you!!!

Part of this is related to buttressing the VAWA filing, and part of it seems to be worrying about demonstrating the relationship was bona fide. With respect to the relationship, based on what you say I don't see much of a problem. You co-habitated, co-mingled finances, and had a child together.

The first part with the crisis line is consistent with what an abused person would do, and the 5150 categorization shows you were gravely impacted. I'm not a case officer or even that experienced with this sort of thing but from the other stories appearing here this doesn't look like a phony VAWA claim at all, if that is what you're worried about.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Post violating TOS has been removed. It is against the Terms of Service for VJ for anyone to recommend any sort of illegal immigration activity and such comments are not condoned by VJ.

[mochamom 0]

I am just asking some suggesitons regarding my VAWA...I don't think that I am doing anything that's violating this board...Can you explain?

Thanks.

Post violating TOS has been removed. It is against the Terms of Service for VJ for anyone to recommend any sort of illegal immigration activity and such comments are not condoned by VJ.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Mochamom,

Your posts are fine. You were not the one I meant. I removed one of the posts written by someone else answering you that advised you to do something that was illegal. That was the post that I removed. I just left the comment in the thread that a post violating the Terms of Service for VJ - recommending someone do something illegal - had been removed do people who remember seeing it would not have to wonder where it was. It was not for any of your posts, all of which still remain. The TOS violating post, however, is gone. Hope that clarifies everything ,

I am just asking some suggesitons regarding my VAWA...I don't think that I am doing anything that's violating this board...Can you explain?

Thanks.

[tuna_fsk 0]

Hello Mocha mom,

I am so sorry about all the ####### your husband has put you through.. We are all suffering in our own different ways.

Ok, So these are your options based on my experience:

1. Try to reconcile the marriage with your husband ( I would not do that)

2. Go to the interview by yourself (or with a Lawyer) and explaine the situation to the immigration officer.. This is what I did, and they did not deport me. I had a second interview with USCIS and brought my lawyer with me, We explained the situation to the Immigration officer. Till now they did not deny my first I-485. My lawyer asked the immigration officer if it was possible to give us some time to file the VAWA, and he agreed.

They gave me about 75 days to file it before they deny me. I filed it in 60 days because it take a very long time to get all the documentation ready. So go to the interview, and explain the situation, but before you move out, make you you have a copy of your husban'd birth certificate or passport and a copy of your marriage certificate.

I live in San Jose, and There is a very good immigration attorney I am dealing with. He also covers the San Francisco area. If you PM me I will give you his information...

Just do not stay in that abusive relationship, and do not threaten your life or the baby's life

Wish you all the best of luck

Tuna