Need urgent help regarding VAWA!!!

[mochamom 0]

Hello all, I am a new memember here. Can't believe that I have to go through this on top of my already extremely difficult pregnancy. Long story short, my husband is a very abusive person, but he can also act pretty nicely too so for a long time, I was hoping that I could bring the better part of him back. But after I found that I was pregnant, he wanted me to have an abortion. I already suffered one miscarriage with him before so I refused. And our relationship went straight down and he became more and more abusive (most mentally and verbally). He basically abandened me since I was pregnant. Now our interview for my green card is coming up and I was advised that I should apply for VAWA. He actually threatened me to get me deported because he is involved with other women and doesn't want to deal with me and the baby anymore.

I have consulted several lawyers regarding my situation, especially for the upcoming interview. I doubt that he would go with me but there is still a small possibility. One local senior lawyer said that I should try to get my husband to go with me since the interview is in a few weeks and file VAWA later; he also advised that if my husband doesn't want to go with me, I should just go by myself and tell the immigration officer the story so I won't be put in a removal process. At the same time, my friend (who is an immigration lawyer herself but far away from where I am) strongly against me going with my husband or by myself. According to her, if I go to the interview by myself alone, I will get arrested and put in deportation process immediately.

Now I am really confused. I don't know what to do. Has anybody being in a similiar situation? Has anybody gone to the interview alone by herself? I am going crazy...I have so much fears for myself and my baby. Please help!!! I greatly appreciate your input!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I've never heard of someone being arrested and put in deportation proceedings immediately, however you WILL be denied because your application is based on your marriage. If you plan on trying to apply for VAWA then I think you should do so BEFORE your interview.

If your relationship really IS bad enough to require VAWA then going with him to the interview and giving him the chance to tell them you married him for a greencard, won't work well in your favour. There are so many things wrong with what you're trying to do. If your marriage is over, then going to the interview with him is FRAUD so don't even waste your time there.

The other option is to return to your home country. Good luck.

** moved from "Adjustment of Status (Green Card) from Family Based Visas" to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits as this is a more appropriate location**

[mochamom 0]

@Vanessa, thanks for your input. Going back to my country with a biracial child would be almost unacceptable there, and it's so unfair to my child in that kind of environment too. That's one of the biggest reason that I keep trying with my husband.

That's why I am so confused that the lawyer suggested me to try to get my husband to go to the interview with me, or even go with myself. The lawyer is very senior and has his own business...

I do still love him but I don't think that we can work it out based on how he treated me since my pregnancy. My baby will be due this December, I am just so exhausted to have to deal with this stress on top of everything else already...Thanks for your input anyway and have a great day!

[sachinky 465]

Your AOS will be denied without the presence of the USC petitioner.

Having him go to the interview (if your marriage is truly over and it definitely sounds like it is) is also a bad idea not only because it is fraud but also because it would take no more than one statement ('I am withdrawing my I-864' or 'She married me for a GC and I'm no longer interested in pursuing this relationship') from him to sink your ship.

Going back to China is probably your safest, logical bet, however difficult and socially unacceptable it might seem.

As a K-1 entree, you have no way to AOS without the co-operation of your USC husband and petitioner. Verbal and mental abuse without any concrete evidence such a medical reports or police reports will not be sufficient for a VAWA case. Cheating is not considered to be 'abuse' despite the major douche-baggery of his actions.

Good luck.

This lawyer -- is he an IMMIGRATION lawyer?

Edited September 13, 2010 by sachinky

[leahandlucas 15]

File a VAWA immediately...go to a psychologist and get everything what happened documented down. That is going to go with your VAWA case....its now going to be an uphill battle...good luck

[mochamom 0]

@Sachinky: I have police's report for domestic violence. They actually insisted it based on what happened. I was so silly that I didn't want to file it then because I didn't want to hurt him in anyway...

I am not a K-1 entree. I was working until just recently after I found myself pregnant and I quit my job. Anyway don't know if that's going to make any difference.

I am not going to ask my husband to go to the interview anymore. I was hesitating if he turned around saying that he would go, should I go? Anyway, he has hurt me so much I don't have confidence to be with him anymore. But I do have medical reasons that I can postpone my interview so I have time to file VAWA--my lawyer friend suggested me to do that.

Thank you all for your kind help.

Your AOS will be denied without the presence of the USC petitioner.

Having him go to the interview (if your marriage is truly over and it definitely sounds like it is) is also a bad idea not only because it is fraud but also because it would take no more than one statement ('I am withdrawing my I-864' or 'She married me for a GC and I'm no longer interested in pursuing this relationship') from him to sink your ship.

Going back to China is probably your safest, logical bet, however difficult and socially unacceptable it might seem.

As a K-1 entree, you have no way to AOS without the co-operation of your USC husband and petitioner. Verbal and mental abuse without any concrete evidence such a medical reports or police reports will not be sufficient for a VAWA case. Cheating is not considered to be 'abuse' despite the major douche-baggery of his actions.

Good luck.

This lawyer -- is he an IMMIGRATION lawyer?

[rlogan 2,036]

I do still love him but I don't think that we can work it out based on how he treated me since my pregnancy.

Seems to me you have three options. One is going home. The other is VAWA now. The last is the heroic final stand on trying to get the marriage to work. If you have already decided he is too abusive to stay with, then you are down to two: VAWA and home.

Maybe your lawyer is trying to game the system by hoping you can get the husband and yourself to convince the interviewing officer the marriage is still valid, pull off the AOS on that basis, and then file VAWA.

If so that sounds more like a lawyer to avoid. First of all, if you get an adjustment of status then you can get a cheap, simple divorce and apply for the ten year green card alone without VAWA. VAWA has no advantage except a lot of billable lawyer hours then.

Second of all if a husband is dangerously abusive then you don't wait until he kills you to do a VAWA action. Document it as best you can and start it now. That is what explains your absence at the meeting - you are doing a VAWA petition.

It goes without saying that "going to the interview" with your husband is not enough. You would both have to swear as to the validity of the marriage. Going alone you will be turned down. Going with him, but without sufficient proof the marriage is valid will result in being turned down. Lying is a crime. Agreeing to lie together puts you at tremendous risk if he changes his mind.

Even if you got through the hearing by lying then whatever abuse he has committed up to this time is going to be looked at very skeptically later. You testify everything is just peachy-keen at the interview and then later come back and say he was a monster?

I don't think the lawyer is giving good counsel.

[mochamom 0]

@Leahandlucas: I don't know much about VAWA, it's actually suggested by the domestic voilence center. When you say that's going to be "an uphill battle", is it really difficult to file? What are the things that I need to be aware about? I heard that it's confidential...so my husband wouldn't know to hurt me more. Can anyone recommend a good immigration lawyer for VAWA?

I am going to move to San Francisco to stay with my friends until my baby is born. Any good lawyers for VAWA here?

Thanks so much!

File a VAWA immediately...go to a psychologist and get everything what happened documented down. That is going to go with your VAWA case....its now going to be an uphill battle...good luck

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Others have summarized your options pretty well.

Can you give us a little more background? What sort of visa did you enter the US with, and when did you enter? What was your status when you applied for AOS? When did you marry your husband? You mentioned a previous miscarriage. Was this before or after you were married?

Regarding a potential VAWA filing, what evidence do you have of abuse? What evidence do you have that you entered the marriage in "good faith"? Have you gotten into any sort of trouble with immigration or law enforcement since coming to the US?

Sorry for asking so many questions, but sometimes small details can make a big difference that can dramatically change what would be the best advice.

[mochamom 0]

@JimVaPhuong: I entered USA first as F1 for graduate school, then started working on H1B. It's a stupid passion to marry him because I was really in love with him, and he told me that he cared and loved me too. My miscarriage was when we were still dating. I never got in any trouble with immigration or any illegal activities. I just simply loved him...despite all the dangerous signs...I admit that I hoped to get GC through this, but this is not the reason that I married him. Otherwise I would just listen to him to do the abortion. I thought we could make this work but anyway...

I didn't apply for AOS right after our wedding. I quit my job later due to difficult pregnancy plus I was not happy at work then we apply for AOS for me. At that time he already became bad because I didn't want to have an abortion.

I guess I could have more domestic violence reports filed but I didn't do so. For the very recent and only one report, I filed due to the police's insistance. At that time I still had some hope that he would change. I have emails/voice messages showing our relationship, and he said he loved me in the email and voice messages too. I also have some limited pictures of us at parties. There are some very emotional emails b/w us talking about my pregancy. I had a difficult time trying to decide if I should keep this baby which was all written on my medical file--I just found that my OB wrote several times that I was in a lot of stress because my husband is not supportive...Right before we got married, his name was added to my apartment lease, although he had lived here since last year. but like I said that almost no one living in the same building can verify that we lived together. I don't even know any of my neighbours either.

I was told that I should qualify for VAWA. But I don't know what to expect. Fighting for my baby due to my health issue and financial hardship almost already killed me.

One more evidence is about the recent abusion, I happened to catch about 30 minutes of his abusive threatening yelling (he actually did it for 5 hours) and insulting to me on my cell phone. His voice was very clear and he actually said his name there too. I didn't show this to anyone, not even the police because I still wanted to protect him--silly me!!!

Others have summarized your options pretty well.

Can you give us a little more background? What sort of visa did you enter the US with, and when did you enter? What was your status when you applied for AOS? When did you marry your husband? You mentioned a previous miscarriage. Was this before or after you were married?

Regarding a potential VAWA filing, what evidence do you have of abuse? What evidence do you have that you entered the marriage in "good faith"? Have you gotten into any sort of trouble with immigration or law enforcement since coming to the US?

Sorry for asking so many questions, but sometimes small details can make a big difference that can dramatically change what would be the best advice.

[mochamom 0]

He is the father of my baby, that's for sure. That's probably what the lawyer think that my 7 monthes pregnancy is a good evidence to get the interview done. I don't know.

I do have my OB's letter to reschedule the interview. My friend suggested me to do that to gain sometime for filing VAWA.

Seems to me you have three options. One is going home. The other is VAWA now. The last is the heroic final stand on trying to get the marriage to work. If you have already decided he is too abusive to stay with, then you are down to two: VAWA and home.

Maybe your lawyer is trying to game the system by hoping you can get the husband and yourself to convince the interviewing officer the marriage is still valid, pull off the AOS on that basis, and then file VAWA.

If so that sounds more like a lawyer to avoid. First of all, if you get an adjustment of status then you can get a cheap, simple divorce and apply for the ten year green card alone without VAWA. VAWA has no advantage except a lot of billable lawyer hours then.

Second of all if a husband is dangerously abusive then you don't wait until he kills you to do a VAWA action. Document it as best you can and start it now. That is what explains your absence at the meeting - you are doing a VAWA petition.

It goes without saying that "going to the interview" with your husband is not enough. You would both have to swear as to the validity of the marriage. Going alone you will be turned down. Going with him, but without sufficient proof the marriage is valid will result in being turned down. Lying is a crime. Agreeing to lie together puts you at tremendous risk if he changes his mind.

Even if you got through the hearing by lying then whatever abuse he has committed up to this time is going to be looked at very skeptically later. You testify everything is just peachy-keen at the interview and then later come back and say he was a monster?

I don't think the lawyer is giving good counsel.

[mochamom 0]

BTW, what do you mean by "you can get a cheap, simple divorce and apply for the ten year green card alone without VAWA"? My understanding is that even if I got the temperal green card it takes two years at least to remove the condition. And if he changes his mind and divorces me before that, I won't have the green card at all.

Seems to me you have three options. One is going home. The other is VAWA now. The last is the heroic final stand on trying to get the marriage to work. If you have already decided he is too abusive to stay with, then you are down to two: VAWA and home.

Maybe your lawyer is trying to game the system by hoping you can get the husband and yourself to convince the interviewing officer the marriage is still valid, pull off the AOS on that basis, and then file VAWA.

If so that sounds more like a lawyer to avoid. First of all, if you get an adjustment of status then you can get a cheap, simple divorce and apply for the ten year green card alone without VAWA. VAWA has no advantage except a lot of billable lawyer hours then.

Second of all if a husband is dangerously abusive then you don't wait until he kills you to do a VAWA action. Document it as best you can and start it now. That is what explains your absence at the meeting - you are doing a VAWA petition.

It goes without saying that "going to the interview" with your husband is not enough. You would both have to swear as to the validity of the marriage. Going alone you will be turned down. Going with him, but without sufficient proof the marriage is valid will result in being turned down. Lying is a crime. Agreeing to lie together puts you at tremendous risk if he changes his mind.

Even if you got through the hearing by lying then whatever abuse he has committed up to this time is going to be looked at very skeptically later. You testify everything is just peachy-keen at the interview and then later come back and say he was a monster?

I don't think the lawyer is giving good counsel.

[MRStee 19]

im sorry you are going through all this and i wish you the best!

[indian guy 13]

Regardless of interview You should file WAVA ASAP before interview

[hurted2009 0]

i am so sorry u hav to go trough all of this.... i am so ssorry cause i went trough almostr the same thing as u do now... and i undesrtand how hard ur pregnacy situation can be wihout him.... i have a baby too and went trough hell with my husband..... well i am here to help as much as i can, i do not thing u should go to the appoinmt....my opinion , but you should check with AN iimigration lawyer... or pro bo attorney.... u may email me if you need us to talk about this.