Learning my fiancee 's culture

[rlogan 2,036]

Thank you Tahoma and Pinay Wife.

This is a great forum. It isn't excusable for me to be out of line with bad attitude. It is actually being a friend to me in pointing out when my attitude needs to be checked. The pain, drugs, and lack of sleep isn't an excuse but more of an explanation of why I am a little more in need of those kind of friends right now.

"Hey Joe' date=' Hey Joe" is a compliment if you are an American. If you were a German or from Italy or Hungry then I can see it would be a insult. [/quote']

Reading challenged. I did write very clearly I was speaking about taunting and bullying, which are never compliments.

This is the incessant "hello Joe" stalking from an unemployed street thug who is following behind you yelling it loud enough for eveyone on the street to hear him, which is why he's selected such extreme volume. If you are with a family member they are very angrily telling him to leave you alone. If you step into a donut shop the manager chases the guy away.

When you tell such a person "Ako Si Bob" they do not start calling you Bob. They just keep taunting you with "hey Joe, hey Joe" and continue stalking you. If you say "Maayong Buntag" they repeat it back two or three times in a derisive, mocking tone.

[Pinay Wife 47]

Thank you Tahoma and Pinay Wife.

This is a great forum. It isn't excusable for me to be out of line with bad attitude. It is actually being a friend to me in pointing out when my attitude needs to be checked. The pain, drugs, and lack of sleep isn't an excuse but more of an explanation of why I am a little more in need of those kind of friends right now.

I wish there were more people like you.

“Humility makes great men twice honorable” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

[Retscpo 5]

The Very Funny English Language

English, unless you grew up with its eccentricities, can be a rather difficult and confusing language to learn.

The rule is that the rule doesn't always rule.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

Why is it that whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?

It is only in the English language that people recite at a play and play at a recital.

When the stars are out, they are visible,

When the lights are out, they are invisible.

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

How can 'A Slim Chance' and 'A Fat Chance' be the same?

How can 'You're so cool' and 'You're not so hot' be different?

Why are 'A wise man' and 'A wise guy' opposites?

Although the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, we must be grateful for small mercies of the language that the feminine pronouns after 'She' don't become 'Shis' and 'Shim'.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

Boxing rings are square.

A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

The farm was used to produce produce.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

If brother becomes Brethren, why doesn't mother become Methren?

If tooth becomes teeth, why doesn't booth become beeth?

If one goose becomes two geese, why doesn't one moose become two meese?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

How come Writers write but Fingers don't fing?

And Grocers don't groce and Hammers don't ham?

A box in the plural becomes boxes.

But an Ox in the plural never becomes oxes. (It becomes Oxen).

A lone mouse can transform into a whole set of mice,

But it's impossible for a single house to become a whole block of hice. (It becomes houses).

It's not ridiculous, but entirely sensible to ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

We are a strange lot to have noses that run and feet that smell.

How come you never hear of a combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable person?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

The human race has been running for a great many centuries now - but we're not tired yet.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

So good luck people with our multi-cultural, multi-language marriages.

Awesome! I love it!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hi Guys,

One thing that I find so cute is the way she replies to some of my questions. My favorite is this one:

Sometimes I say something like:

Me asking Q:"You don't have money to go to movie" ?

Then she says "yes"

--> beware... of that "yes" JR. It is not what you think.

Yes, means ..she does not have money!

Do you have anything you can share??

Sorry if this off topic. I just wanted to share it with you guys.

You just have to worry about two things: Tampo, and Lambing.

[jrmejia 31]

You just have to worry about two things: Tampo, and Lambing.

Hi,

Will try the link. Thanks

Editing: Hey I went to the site and this is pretty nice. Thanks you very much

Edited September 14, 2010 by jrmejia

[jrmejia 31]

Reading this post put a smile on my face....... She does make mistakes often, I usually understand what she is trying to say and I do find it absolutely adorable. We even have an enormous laugh after I tell her what she said/should have said.

Being supportive and having lots of patience with help alot.

That was my point. I find it very cute..

[tallcoolone 102]

Reading challenged. I did write very clearly I was speaking about taunting and bullying, which are never compliments.

This is the incessant "hello Joe" stalking from an unemployed street thug who is following behind you yelling it loud enough for eveyone on the street to hear him, which is why he's selected such extreme volume. If you are with a family member they are very angrily telling him to leave you alone. If you step into a donut shop the manager chases the guy away.

If that ever happen to me I would turn around and knock the dog$hit out of the person. You have to be pro active in Philippines.

What I was taught if you are an American in Philippines and someone comes up to you and trys to start $hit with you, or they are acting funny. Then you need to immediately punch the person in the face as hard as you can.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I myself do not understand our confusion with the pronouns but here's a good explanation from Wiki as to why Filipinos have a hard time with the he/she pronoun.

x x x All languages allow the speaker to specify whether one is talking about a male or female, but some languages do not require the speaker to make that choice as an intrinsic part of the language.^[2] In some languages, pronouns do not distinguish between genders, so gender equity of pronouns is not relevant. This category includes many East Asian languages x x x

I consider myself to have a good grasp of the English language but I still commit the same "he/she" mistake when I speak. Filipinos use the non-gender specific "siya" when we talk about a person (we don't distinguish he or she). Siya ay maganda (She is pretty) or Siya ay magandang lalaki (He is handsome). We do not have a special name for son or daughter, both are called "anak" (child) in our language (if you need to be gender specific, you have to say "anak na babae" or "anak na lalaki" (child that is girl, child that is boy), mother-in-law and father-in-law are both called "biyenan", sons and daughters-in-law are both called "manugang", etc.

This is the reason why when we speak in English, it takes conscious effort to take into consideration the gender of the person we are talking about. Our brain is just not programmed to process the gender of the person being talked about for the simple reason that our language does not distinguish between sex.

Have a little more patience, dear American husbands. It is not easy to learn the nuances of another language. How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us. Annoy us with your mistakes hehe

I know I need the patience of a saint, but it is honestly difficult to follow along with who you are talking about when she and he get flipped about, even within a single sentence.

I think another reason why this occurs to the degree that it does is because the English spoken in the Philippines is a derivative of American English, and whatever slang was used at the time that Filipinos were exposed to it.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If that ever happen to me I would turn around and knock the dog$hit out of the person. You have to be pro active in Philippines.

What I was taught if you are an American in Philippines and someone comes up to you and trys to start $hit with you, or they are acting funny. Then you need to immediately punch the person in the face as hard as you can.

Have you actually tried that? What's worse - putting up with someone yelling, "Hey Joe!" at you on the street, or spending a few years in a Filipino prison for assaulting a Filipino?

[Pinay Wife 47]

What I was taught if you are an American in Philippines and someone comes up to you and trys to start $hit with you, or they are acting funny. Then you need to immediately punch the person in the face as hard as you can.

You're all talk. Why don't you try to do that the next time you go to the Philippines and then come back here (if you are alive) and tell us all about it.

And careful who you punch there, especially in Davao. If you hit one of the mayor's relatives or friends, then you're marked, especially if you are an arrogant, cocky white man. You know macho Filipino guys, they like to brag when they put an "ugly American" in his place. They put your face in the papers with the widest circulation for the whole Phiippines to see.

Edited September 14, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[rlogan 2,036]

If that ever happen to me I would turn around and knock the dog$hit out of the person. You have to be pro active in Philippines.

What I was taught if you are an American in Philippines and someone comes up to you and trys to start $hit with you, or they are acting funny. Then you need to immediately punch the person in the face as hard as you can.

That's pretty retarded, frankly.

I was a state wrestling champion and all-american when younger. I have black belts in both Judo and Tae Kwon Do, won a lot of state and regional titles in those, qualifying for nationals in both of them, and ran a business teaching them for my main income many years. I was also a state boxing finalist in two different states. In coaching I had three national records at the same time our team had the nation's longest winning streak.

You may behave in whatever reckless manner you choose. But recommending it to others is where you cross a line I have to disagree with professionally.

Professionally the problem with your approach is that one never knows where the knife, the gun, or the posse might be just waiting on your assault. All the other person did was harass you. You propose responding with violence - punching them in the face as hard as you can. Their (them, a friend, their posse) next response with fatal violence is justified, and you are a foreigner living in their country.

We learn to always be aware of our surroundings in martial arts, and we learn to avoid rather than to strike out with pre-emptive violence. We learn to control our pride because it can kill us. The five tenets of Tae Kwon Do are: Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverence, Self-Control, and Indomitable Spirit. There is no place for the kind of reaction you are promoting, and my God it would be one thing for me to take on a street thug but another thing for Average Joe with absolutely no training.

This is a professional approach and one I ran a business of, including an entire division within he PE department at the University of Iowa. My main training partner was Ned Ashton back then. He runs the program I started there now, both for the University and the club I founded. I am just a guy living off in a cabin in the woods now.

There are times when you have to stand up to bullies. But the way you stand up to them is highly circumstantial and furthermore is rarely with the kind of response you have recommended. I've had to knock people out cold with a spinning backfist and I have had to simply endure harassment in order to buy my fish and go on about my business. The times I have responded with violence, and it is extremely rare, is when I was in a position of having no other choice. I had over 20 years competing against highly trained athletes. I have nothing to prove and plenty to lose by whacking a drunk.

The kinds of threats I face on Mindanao are quite serious because our house is built very close to the border of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM). Dealing with that problem in the way you have described is literally suicidal. I keep a very low profile, and there have been times I have gotten off the Jeepney because my mere presence was offensive to a whole group of Muslims stepping on the Jeepney as it stopped in the Muslim section of Iligan.

I cannot recommend strongly enough against what you have said. If it had been attended with something suggestive of humor, I would have ignored it. But it wasn't, and you have a strong theme of super-cocky talk running through your posting history.

It may very well be a post you merely thought you could bait and needle people with. That's the whole point of toying with people. Their feelings and time are of zero value, annoying them is fun, and they deserve it because they are not as smart and sophisticated as your highness.

But people on this forum are going to be over there and in the chance someone has read such things and takes them seriously then there is real risk of serious harm coming to them by adopting the attitude you are suggesting.

Edited September 14, 2010 by rlogan

[Pinay Wife 47]

But people on this forum are going to be over there and in the chance someone has read such things and takes them seriously then there is real risk of serious harm coming to them by adopting the attitude you are suggesting.

So very true! TCO thinks that just because he's been to the Philippines twice or thrice that he knows the temperament of the people. x x *edited *x x. If you're white, and you are in Mindanao, you'd better keep a low profile.

edited to remove an unwarranted statement

Edited September 15, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[sunandmoon 450]

hopefully there is no collateral damage to the image of Davao...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

You're all talk. Why don't you try to do that the next time you go to the Philippines and then come back here (if you are alive) and tell us all about it.

And careful who you punch there, especially in Davao. If you hit one of the mayor's relatives or friends, then you're marked, especially if you are an arrogant, cocky white man. You know macho Filipino guys, they like to brag when they put an "ugly American" in his place. They put your face in the papers with the widest circulation for the whole Phiippines to see.

One thing I have learned travelling outside the safety zone, is that most folks have bigger brothers, and lots of them, not to mention cousins and neighbors. However, your back-up is nowhere to be seen, so there you are, standing out like a sore thumb.

I try to find allies among the natives, not create new enemies.

[Daft02810 0]

That's pretty retarded, frankly.

I was a state wrestling champion and all-american when younger. I have black belts in both Judo and Tae Kwon Do, won a lot of state and regional titles in those, qualifying for nationals in both of them, and ran a business teaching them for my main income many years. I was also a state boxing finalist in two different states. In coaching I had three national records at the same time our team had the nation's longest winning streak.

You may behave in whatever reckless manner you choose. But recommending it to others is where you cross a line I have to disagree with professionally.

Professionally the problem with your approach is that one never knows where the knife, the gun, or the posse might be just waiting on your assault. All the other person did was harass you. You propose responding with violence - punching them in the face as hard as you can. Their (them, a friend, their posse) next response with fatal violence is justified, and you are a foreigner living in their country.

We learn to always be aware of our surroundings in martial arts, and we learn to avoid rather than to strike out with pre-emptive violence. We learn to control our pride because it can kill us. The five tenets of Tae Kwon Do are: Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverence, Self-Control, and Indomitable Spirit. There is no place for the kind of reaction you are promoting, and my God it would be one thing for me to take on a street thug but another thing for Average Joe with absolutely no training.

This is a professional approach and one I ran a business of, including an entire division within he PE department at the University of Iowa. My main training partner was Ned Ashton back then. He runs the program I started there now, both for the University and the club I founded. I am just a guy living off in a cabin in the woods now.

There are times when you have to stand up to bullies. But the way you stand up to them is highly circumstantial and furthermore is rarely with the kind of response you have recommended. I've had to knock people out cold with a spinning backfist and I have had to simply endure harassment in order to buy my fish and go on about my business. The times I have responded with violence, and it is extremely rare, is when I was in a position of having no other choice. I had over 20 years competing against highly trained athletes. I have nothing to prove and plenty to lose by whacking a drunk.

The kinds of threats I face on Mindanao are quite serious because our house is built very close to the border of the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM). Dealing with that problem in the way you have described is literally suicidal. I keep a very low profile, and there have been times I have gotten off the Jeepney because my mere presence was offensive to a whole group of Muslims stepping on the Jeepney as it stopped in the Muslim section of Iligan.

I cannot recommend strongly enough against what you have said. If it had been attended with something suggestive of humor, I would have ignored it. But it wasn't, and you have a strong theme of super-cocky talk running through your posting history.

It may very well be a post you merely thought you could bait and needle people with. That's the whole point of toying with people. Their feelings and time are of zero value, annoying them is fun, and they deserve it because they are not as smart and sophisticated as your highness.

But people on this forum are going to be over there and in the chance someone has read such things and takes them seriously then there is real risk of serious harm coming to them by adopting the attitude you are suggesting.

Can't take a joke?