Learning my fiancee 's culture

[odne 0]

Sexist post and a post quoting it removed. Any other comment of a similar nature by the same poster will result in that poster being banned from this thread.

glad you did that..they're making fun of pinays...good thing i married a filipino..

[jrmejia 31]

Hello all, I enjoy reading some of your comments and experiences with Filipino culture and English culture interactions. There will, no doubt, be a lot for me to learn as well since my 'to be' wife is a filipina. I am curious, does your filipina trim your nails and cut the food on your plate? I found this to be unusual as I have never experienced it before. I think it is sweet.

I also notice the language usage difference as well. The pronunciation of the vowels throws me off too. - Dave

We spent 1 week together and we went to the salon together. She did say that once we are together she wants to do my nails instead of us wasting money @ the salon.

One thing for sure, I used to enjoyed with smile ear to ear was when she used to serve or cut a piece of chicharon or fish and put it on my plate.. . YES I SAID IT SHE MELTED MY HEART WITH SOME OF HER ACTIONS.

Edited September 12, 2010 by jrmejia

[april082010 3]

We spent 1 week together and we went to the salon together. She did say that once we are together she wants to do my nails instead of us wasting money @ the salon.

One thing for sure, I used to enjoyed with smile ear to ear was when she used to serve or cut a piece of chicharon or fish and put it on my plate.. . YES I SAID IT SHE MELTED MY HEART WITH SOME OF HER ACTIONS.

Yeah those are natural Filipina traits, it's a good thing American's appreciate it a lot.

[rlogan 2,036]

How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us.

Because that is a childish view of "evening the score" without logical foundation for allocating our time, which is limited. What is "even" in our world is the effort we put into the marriage.

Rationally, since we live here, since english is the language, and since there would be nobody to speak with in visayan except my wife it would be irrational to take time away from my work or other pursuits to study Visayan. When in Mindanao I pick up enough to get along in the marketplace, but the fact is I don't even need to do that since English is a school subject for them from grade school all the way through high school.

To pretend it is "evening the score" when I am starting from zero Visayan and she is starting from more than ten years of structured english study, a lifetime of television programming and movies in English, etc. is absurd. My wife knows better than that and so she has never suggested it.

My principle concern with her language skills has to do with how merciless so many ignorant and bigoted Americans are. The more ignorant and bigoted they are, the less tolerance they have for other cultures and idiosyncracies of language.

But she has to deal with them - the bureaucrat she needs a piece of paper from, the store clerk, the fast food employee, the person on the phone, etc. Down the road if she wanst to work her perfection of English is critical.

I notice how I can understand my wife perfectly well whereas a lifelong Americano is asking her to repeat herself.

The meanest and most ignorant, speaking no language but English (whereas my wife speaks three) - has stated she "barely speaks English". That was a put-down that was untrue of course, but the world is full of people who take every opportunity to be a bully. Immigrants can be an easy target.

So perfecting her English is a rational use of our time whereas learning more than the most rudimentary Visayan for me is more than enough.

In the most remote places on Mindanao I get that ignorant and bigoted bullying. Just going down the street you get relentless "Hey Joe, Hey Joe" taunting and incessant attempts at seeing what they can put over on the foreigner. You don't get that at a shopping mall in Cagayan de Oro. But walking up to an open market stall in a remote area stating "gusto ko itlog" to someone with a 3rd grade education they'll mock you no matter how good your Visayan is. Unless of course she is a single young lady in which case she will be falling all over herself flirting with you.

So neither of our cultures is free of this.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Have a little more patience, dear American husbands. It is not easy to learn the nuances of another language. How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us. Annoy us with your mistakes hehe

Because that is a childish view of "evening the score" without logical foundation for allocating our time, which is limited. What is "even" in our world is the effort we put into the marriage.

Rationally, since we live here, since english is the language, and since there would be nobody to speak with in visayan except my wife it would be irrational to take time away from my work or other pursuits to study Visayan. When in Mindanao I pick up enough to get along in the marketplace, but the fact is I don't even need to do that since English is a school subject for them from grade school all the way through high school.

To pretend it is "evening the score" when I am starting from zero Visayan and she is starting from more than ten years of structured english study, a lifetime of television programming and movies in English, etc. is absurd. My wife knows better than that and so she has never suggested it.

Geez Robert...I thought Pinay Wife's post deserved a chuckle rather than a sermon. If nothing else, the devil emoticon at the end should have been a dead giveaway.

[Pinay Wife 47]

I was just about to say that. Thanks, Tahoma.

It must be very cold and depressing in Alaska

My principle concern with her language skills has to do with how merciless so many ignorant and bigoted Americans are.

Okay, to even the score , above is a fine example of a common mistake among Americans.Principle means rule or belief governing one's personal behavior. Principal, which means first, highest, or foremost in importance, rank, worth, or degree, should have been the correct word to use.

Another common mistake Americans make is interchanging "accept" and "except" or using "should of" instead of "should have".

What I am trying to say is that even an American who is a lifelong English speaker (with a PhD to boot), is not immune from committing grammatical errors. When a Filipino spouse makes mistakes, it would be less stressful for her if her husband would just correct her without expressing annoyance.

Edited September 13, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[sheenaspapi 18]

Reading this post put a smile on my face....... well in the beginning that is. My fiance speaks English well, works for an American company doing customer service. She does make mistakes often, I usually understand what she is trying to say and I do find it absolutely adorable. We even have an enormous laugh after I tell her what she said/should have said. English is a difficult language to learn and is commonly thought to be one of the hardest. Tag is a basic language. I can learn Tag much more easily that she can English and speak it reasonably well. The amount of words in the Tag language is miniscle compared to the multi millions of words in the English language.

I had a guy on my flight that said he learned Chinese easier than English. The millions of combinations of symbols was very confusing to me. Pick a symbol and what it means alone or with symbol a or b completely changes the meaning of that symbol.

Being supportive and having lots of patience with help alot.

[rlogan 2,036]

Geez Robert...I thought Pinay Wife's post deserved a chuckle rather than a sermon. If nothing else, the devil emoticon at the end should have been a dead giveaway.

My right leg was crushed and broken in multiple places, both the tibia and fibia. Two operations over two days, the first three and a half hours. The second an hour and a half. Bone grafts, plates, screws -

I'm barely functioning, and don't mind admitting that. A lot of pain, a lot of pills, and not anything I can do except lay here. But the most I have slept in eight days is maybe an hour at most.

So I apologize. I'm probably completely incoherent, but am trying to do something to make the time pass. Pretty miserable situation, but not a reaszon to impose on others...

[jrmejia 31]

Because that is a childish view of "evening the score" without logical foundation for allocating our time, which is limited. What is "even" in our world is the effort we put into the marriage.

Rationally, since we live here, since english is the language, and since there would be nobody to speak with in visayan except my wife it would be irrational to take time away from my work or other pursuits to study Visayan. When in Mindanao I pick up enough to get along in the marketplace, but the fact is I don't even need to do that since English is a school subject for them from grade school all the way through high school.

To pretend it is "evening the score" when I am starting from zero Visayan and she is starting from more than ten years of structured english study, a lifetime of television programming and movies in English, etc. is absurd. My wife knows better than that and so she has never suggested it.

My principle concern with her language skills has to do with how merciless so many ignorant and bigoted Americans are. The more ignorant and bigoted they are, the less tolerance they have for other cultures and idiosyncracies of language.

But she has to deal with them - the bureaucrat she needs a piece of paper from, the store clerk, the fast food employee, the person on the phone, etc. Down the road if she wanst to work her perfection of English is critical.

I notice how I can understand my wife perfectly well whereas a lifelong Americano is asking her to repeat herself.

The meanest and most ignorant, speaking no language but English (whereas my wife speaks three) - has stated she "barely speaks English". That was a put-down that was untrue of course, but the world is full of people who take every opportunity to be a bully. Immigrants can be an easy target.

So perfecting her English is a rational use of our time whereas learning more than the most rudimentary Visayan for me is more than enough.

In the most remote places on Mindanao I get that ignorant and bigoted bullying. Just going down the street you get relentless "Hey Joe, Hey Joe" taunting and incessant attempts at seeing what they can put over on the foreigner. You don't get that at a shopping mall in Cagayan de Oro. But walking up to an open market stall in a remote area stating "gusto ko itlog" to someone with a 3rd grade education they'll mock you no matter how good your Visayan is. Unless of course she is a single young lady in which case she will be falling all over herself flirting with you.

So neither of our cultures is free of this.

R, well put.

By the way, thanks for all the links.

[tallcoolone 102]

In the most remote places on Mindanao I get that ignorant and bigoted bullying. Just going down the street you get relentless "Hey Joe, Hey Joe" taunting and incessant attempts at seeing what they can put over on the foreigner.

"Hey Joe, Hey Joe" is a compliment if you are an American. If you were a German or from Italy or Hungry then I can see it would be a insult.

[Pinay Wife 47]

My right leg was crushed and broken in multiple places, both the tibia and fibia. Two operations over two days, the first three and a half hours. The second an hour and a half. Bone grafts, plates, screws -

I'm barely functioning, and don't mind admitting that. A lot of pain, a lot of pills, and not anything I can do except lay here. But the most I have slept in eight days is maybe an hour at most.

So I apologize. I'm probably completely incoherent, but am trying to do something to make the time pass. Pretty miserable situation, but not a reaszon to impose on others...

Get well soon, rlogan. I was actually surprised by your post. You are usually upbeat and optimistic. And then I saw your blog about the accident.

So, break a leg! (to my fellow Pinays, that means good luck in American idiom)

[tallcoolone 102]

What else is "So Cute"

Have you wife say "I love you Long Time" "Five Dollar" and post it on youtube. It's pure greatness

[Pinay Wife 47]

The Very Funny English Language

English, unless you grew up with its eccentricities, can be a rather difficult and confusing language to learn.

The rule is that the rule doesn't always rule.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

Why is it that whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?

It is only in the English language that people recite at a play and play at a recital.

When the stars are out, they are visible,

When the lights are out, they are invisible.

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

How can 'A Slim Chance' and 'A Fat Chance' be the same?

How can 'You're so cool' and 'You're not so hot' be different?

Why are 'A wise man' and 'A wise guy' opposites?

Although the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, we must be grateful for small mercies of the language that the feminine pronouns after 'She' don't become 'Shis' and 'Shim'.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

Boxing rings are square.

A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

The farm was used to produce produce.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

If brother becomes Brethren, why doesn't mother become Methren?

If tooth becomes teeth, why doesn't booth become beeth?

If one goose becomes two geese, why doesn't one moose become two meese?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

How come Writers write but Fingers don't fing?

And Grocers don't groce and Hammers don't ham?

A box in the plural becomes boxes.

But an Ox in the plural never becomes oxes. (It becomes Oxen).

A lone mouse can transform into a whole set of mice,

But it's impossible for a single house to become a whole block of hice. (It becomes houses).

It's not ridiculous, but entirely sensible to ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

We are a strange lot to have noses that run and feet that smell.

How come you never hear of a combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable person?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

The human race has been running for a great many centuries now - but we're not tired yet.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

So good luck people with our multi-cultural, multi-language marriages.

Edited September 13, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[Filipinawife0210 15]

What about pointing to something and they use their lips instead of thier fingers....

This made me laugh out loud. I used to think my wife wanted a kiss, but not so much.

As for doing nails...yes my wife insists on giving me manicures. She hurts the heck out of me, but I do it. She says that a man with nice hands takes care of himself, and is one of the first things a Filipina will look at. So, I deal with the bleeding fingertips, and the ingrown nails for a while.

Edited to correct fat fingered spelling errors.

Edited September 13, 2010 by Filipinawife0210

[Tahoma 2,292]

My right leg was crushed and broken in multiple places, both the tibia and fibia. Two operations over two days, the first three and a half hours. The second an hour and a half. Bone grafts, plates, screws -

I'm barely functioning, and don't mind admitting that. A lot of pain, a lot of pills, and not anything I can do except lay here. But the most I have slept in eight days is maybe an hour at most.

So I apologize. I'm probably completely incoherent, but am trying to do something to make the time pass. Pretty miserable situation, but not a reaszon to impose on others...

I'm sorry to hear about your serious injury, and I'm hoping you will be healing up and feeling better soon.

I have plates and screws on both sides of a crushed ankle that resulted from being hit by a Ford F-250 pickup truck while I was riding my motorcycle. While my injury was nowhere as serious as yours, I have some idea of what you are going through. Hang in there...it will get better.