Wedding in the Catholic Church...

[JenT 0]

hey, if u don't believe in Jesus Mom.. no wafer for ya

Being able to receive Communion in the Catholic Church is not a factor of whether or not you believe in Jesus.

[pedroh 21]

hey, if u don't believe in Jesus Mom.. no wafer for ya

Being able to receive Communion in the Catholic Church is not a factor of whether or not you believe in Jesus.

ah.. joke? besides I said Jesus Mom, not Jesus..

and actually.. it is a fact.. if you're a not catholic and want to raise the kids catholic... well, part of the catholicism is to believe in the Virgin Mary and the Saints..

Edited August 17, 2006 by pedroh

[gwenneh 7]

Hey guys, James and I are planning our bigger, church wedding at the moment and I had a few questions for anyone who knows anything about the Catholic Church.

I am Jewish, although not really practicing, I have heard that this isn't really a problem as long as you agree to raise your children Catholic (which I have always told James I would be fine with as he is much more religious than I) Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Our other, we think bigger question is do we need to belong to a parish to have our wedding there? Some people told us that and now we're a little worried... If we have had nothing to do with any catholic church in America, are we going to have trouble getting someone to marry us in one??

We are going to churches in the next few days to do some research, but I was hoping to get an idea of what to expect. Plus I have heard that the answers to these sort of questions can vary depending on the priest, so I'd like to hear as many experiences as possible.

Thanks!

All of this is going to depend on the church's individual policies. Some will still not bless interfaith marriages. Some will allow it, with the stipulation that children are raised within the church. Some do require that you are a parish member, others will waive the requirement with a letter from a current parish, some will waive it entirely. Your mileage may vary!

One thing that is a constant is pre-cana classes (a sort of counseling session); how much and how long (anywhere from a year of classes beforehand to one single meeting) is up to the individual parish.

[zyggy 9]

Hey guys, James and I are planning our bigger, church wedding at the moment and I had a few questions for anyone who knows anything about the Catholic Church.

I am Jewish, although not really practicing, I have heard that this isn't really a problem as long as you agree to raise your children Catholic (which I have always told James I would be fine with as he is much more religious than I) Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Yes.. this is a requirement to be married in the Catholic Church. You just tell your priest this during your interview and he'll check it off.

Our other, we think bigger question is do we need to belong to a parish to have our wedding there? Some people told us that and now we're a little worried... If we have had nothing to do with any catholic church in America, are we going to have trouble getting someone to marry us in one??

We are going to churches in the next few days to do some research, but I was hoping to get an idea of what to expect. Plus I have heard that the answers to these sort of questions can vary depending on the priest, so I'd like to hear as many experiences as possible.

Thanks!

It's up to the priest whether or not you would be allowed to marry in their church. If you will be using parish resources to get married (their priest, marriage prep people, counseling people, etc.) then yes, you will have to be a member of the parish. If you will be providing your own priest, doing your own preparation elsewhere, etc., they may allow you to use the parish building for the marriage for some sort of donation.

Hey guys, James and I are planning our bigger, church wedding at the moment and I had a few questions for anyone who knows anything about the Catholic Church.

I am Jewish, although not really practicing, I have heard that this isn't really a problem as long as you agree to raise your children Catholic (which I have always told James I would be fine with as he is much more religious than I) Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Our other, we think bigger question is do we need to belong to a parish to have our wedding there? Some people told us that and now we're a little worried... If we have had nothing to do with any catholic church in America, are we going to have trouble getting someone to marry us in one??

We are going to churches in the next few days to do some research, but I was hoping to get an idea of what to expect. Plus I have heard that the answers to these sort of questions can vary depending on the priest, so I'd like to hear as many experiences as possible.

Thanks!

You don't need to belong to a parish. The catholic church closest to your house is considered your parish even if you are not a member. I would suggest going to them first and if you opt to get married in another catholic church they will ask you to get permission of the church that is conidered your home parish.

I think you can get married in a Catholic church but it also depends on the church itself. Some are more traditional than others. I don't think you will able to receive communion during your ceremony since you are not christian.

wrong, you cant receive communion if your not CATHOLIC!.. protestants per se can't receive communion either.. again, depends on the church...

Actually you can if you are Orthodox, like me.

As far as 'church shopping' goes, it is frowned upon.

And do expect pre-marital counseling... either in the form of one-on-one with a priest/other married couple, or through an Engaged Encounter weekend....

Jen

You are right, church shopping is frowned upon but happens all the time. The maritial counceling if done with a couple is usually 6 sessions. ( I did it before)

Ooh, ooh, I know this one!

A non-Catholic can marry in the Catholic church. A lapsed Catholic cannot.

I knew someone who converted from Catholicism to Islam but was marrying a Catholic. The Church considered him a lapsed Catholic, and would not marry him. He had to petition the Vatican to ex-communicate him so that he would be considered a non-Catholic and not a lapsed Catholic.

They got married, so I assume he was successful.

I am just wondering about this. I am Orthodox and we have to be in good standing with the church to recieve sacraments. A wedding is considered a sacrament. My church will not marry a Non-Christian. Does anyone know the logic of why you can recieve the sacraments of the Catholic chuch if you are not even a believer?

Actually, an orthodox is permitted to receive the eucharist in a Catholic church as Orthodox also believe that the eucharist is the body of christ... there are also several other churches whose members are permitted to receive the eucharist.

A Catholic is permitted to marry a non-Catholic in the Catholic church because the minister of the sacramanet is not the officiant but the couple themselves. The sacrement is performed when the couple gives their vows to each other. The priest is only there to witness the sacrament and to make sure that the vows that are given are in compliance with Catholic doctrine. That is the vows refer to God, love, and each other.

In actuallity, a Catholic can get married in any church... the only requirement is that a Catholic priest must be present to witness the vows. My parents were married in a Protestant church, but a Catholic priest was present. They also had to go through all the pre-Cana classes and interviews just as if they were married in a Catholic church. The same goes for the Orthodox. We has a marriage in our church this year where an Orthodox priest was poresent. An Orthodox does not have to marry a Christian at all. The only requirement is that an Orthodox priest must witness the ceremony and that it be in compliance with their doctrine. My guess is that a Jewish or Islamic (or Buddhist, Hindu, etc.) wedding would not meet that doctrine, which is why a second wedding would likely have to take place for a marriage to be recognized by the Orthodox or Catholic church.

Edited August 17, 2006 by zyggy

[Darknight 0]

Also, as far as Catholics are concerned (re. what someone said above about the only Sacrament the non-believer can receive being matrimony) technically a non-believer can receive baptism; the RCC practices infant baptism and many children are baptised before a reasonable standard of "belief" can be ascribed to them.

As far as the original poster in concerned, communication between the local RCC Church and Priests and future spouse's local RCC Church and Priests will be needed. Try to get them in communication and everything will be much easier.

[samir_shannon 0]

i was raised a roman catholic and the church wants you to convert before marriage. my uncle converted when he married my aunt. it is something to reall ythink about. if you dont marr yin the catholic church they will nor recognise your marriage. bet they would love the fact i am marrying a muslim hahahahahahaha

Not true. You are describing pre-Vatican II doctrine. From The Catechism of the Catholic Church:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.[135] In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.[136] This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage and the obligations assumed by the Catholic party concerning the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.[137]

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."[138] It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.[139] Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

---------------------------------

As far as 'church shopping' goes, it is frowned upon.

And do expect pre-marital counseling... either in the form of one-on-one with a priest/other married couple, or through an Engaged Encounter weekend....

Jen

Oh ok....... i must have been confused. i was always under the impression that you ha to be a catholic because out of all the cathlolic weddings i have been to the bride and groom were both catholic. my uncle converted to catholicism .. i will ask him about that . thanks for the info!

[Joey559 1]

Paul and I have our second meeting with our catholic church monday. paul isn't catholic, but was baptized protestant. You do not have to convert to the church to get married in the church. They will ask you to meet with them and discuss your relationship, etc. They often want 6 months for this 'preparation' as they call it. But we've found the church has been very flexible here. We met with them once while Paul was here visiting and took our assessment test - about 100 questions you take about your feelings on finances, children, problem resolution, etc. They just want to open your eyes to what you have in common and some things that you need to make sure to be open and talk about with eachother. Paul and I are getting our 'test results' on Monday - they don't refuse to marry you if you get a lot of differing answers, it's just because the Catholic Church does not believe in divorce and marriage is serious business - they like to think they gave you all the heads up they could before you say, "I Do".

So paul and I have about six weeks before the wedding and we'll be meeting with the church before it happens. I'd be more than happy to share how it goes!

Joey

[zyggy 9]

As backup about Orthodox being able to receive Communion and Protestant not being permitted...

Art 1399 of the Cathchism of the Catholic Church

The Eastern churches that are not in full communion with the Catholic Church celebrate the Eucharist with great love. "These Churches, although separated from us, yet possess true sacraments, above all - by apostolic succession - the priesthood and the Eucharist, whereby they are still joined to us in closest intimacy." A certain communion in sacris, and so in the Eucharist, "given suitable circumstances and the approval of Church authority, is not merely possible but is encouraged."

Art 1400 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church

Ecclesial communities derived from the Reformation and separated from the Catholic Church, "have not preserved the proper reality of the Eucharistic mystery in its fullness, especially because of the absence of the sacrament of Holy Orders." It is for this reason that, for the Catholic Church, Eucharistic intercommunion with these communities is not possible. However these ecclesial communities, "when they commemorate the Lord's death and resurrection in the Holy Supper . . . profess that it signifies life in communion with Christ and await his coming in glory.

And 1401 from the Catechism of the Catholic Church

When, in the Ordinary's judgment, a grave necessity arises, Catholic ministers may give the sacraments of Eucharist, Penance, and Anointing of the Sick to other Christians not in full communion with the Catholic Church, who ask for them of their own will, provided they give evidence of holding the Catholic faith regarding these sacraments and possess the required dispositions.

I have seen this last article in action, when a man who was not a Catholic who lost his son asked to receive the Eucharist during his son's funeral. His request was granted.

And about marriages

II. THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE

1621 In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ.120 In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his beloved bride for whom he gave himself up.121 It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but "one body" in Christ.122

1622 "Inasmuch as it is a sacramental action of sanctification, the liturgical celebration of marriage . . . must be, per se, valid, worthy, and fruitful."123 It is therefore appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance.

1623 According to Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. In the tradition of the Eastern Churches, the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses,124 but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.125

1624 The various liturgies abound in prayers of blessing and epiclesis asking God's grace and blessing on the new couple, especially the bride. In the epiclesis of this sacrament the spouses receive the Holy Spirit as the communion of love of Christ and the Church.126 The Holy Spirit is the seal of their covenant, the ever available source of their love and the strength to renew their fidelity.

III. MATRIMONIAL CONSENT

1625 The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent; "to be free" means:

- not being under constraint;

- not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law.

1626 The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that "makes the marriage."127 If consent is lacking there is no marriage.

1627 The consent consists in a "human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other": "I take you to be my wife" - "I take you to be my husband."128 This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two "becoming one flesh."129

1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear.130 No human power can substitute for this consent.131 If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.

1629 For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed.132 In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged.133

1630 The priest (or deacon) who assists at the celebration of a marriage receives the consent of the spouses in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church. The presence of the Church's minister (and also of the witnesses) visibly expresses the fact that marriage is an ecclesial reality.

1631 This is the reason why the Church normally requires that the faithful contract marriage according to the ecclesiastical form. Several reasons converge to explain this requirement:134

- Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church;

- Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between the spouses and towards their children;

- Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses);

- The public character of the consent protects the "I do" once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it.

1632 So that the "I do" of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.

The example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation.

The role of pastors and of the Christian community as the "family of God" is indispensable for the transmission of the human and Christian values of marriage and family,135 and much more so in our era when many young people experience broken homes which no longer sufficiently assure this initiation:

It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own.136

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

Edited August 17, 2006 by zyggy

[irishgirl73 0]

Hey guys, James and I are planning our bigger, church wedding at the moment and I had a few questions for anyone who knows anything about the Catholic Church.

I am Jewish, although not really practicing, I have heard that this isn't really a problem as long as you agree to raise your children Catholic (which I have always told James I would be fine with as he is much more religious than I) Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Our other, we think bigger question is do we need to belong to a parish to have our wedding there? Some people told us that and now we're a little worried... If we have had nothing to do with any catholic church in America, are we going to have trouble getting someone to marry us in one??

We are going to churches in the next few days to do some research, but I was hoping to get an idea of what to expect. Plus I have heard that the answers to these sort of questions can vary depending on the priest, so I'd like to hear as many experiences as possible.

Thanks!

Hi there,

When myself and kristina were planning our wedding we didnt have to belong to any parish. We live in a small village in NH yet we got married in amesbury,MA which is aprox 25 mins away in a car.

We just rang some local churches and asked how much they charged. Ours charged us $500 for the use. Priests dont really mind if you dont belong to a parish as long as you make a donation. Go to the church where you live right and ask them.They would have more info.It all depends what style of church you want. Oh and congrats and have fun planning the church wedding.

Galwayman is correct......................the donation is the important thing My Aunt & Uncle did not belong to the parish where they were married, but once they paid the dues, they were good to go!

lots of luck to you guys!

[seldi 1]

Hey, I'm catholic and from what I know and what I've been taught, if you're not Catholic or are divorced (from a previou catholic wedding) you can have a catholic ceremony and have your marriage be blessed, but in order to officially be married by the catholic church you:

1) can't be divorced from a previous Catholic marriage

2) have to be catholic

3) have to have Catholic baptism certificate, first comunion certificate and confirmation certificate

4) complete pre-Cana (workshop) once you've proven you're catholic and are free to marry in a catholic church

Edited August 17, 2006 by seldi

[zyggy 9]

Hey, I'm catholic and from what I know and what I've been taught, if you're not Catholic or are divorced (from a previou catholic wedding) you can have a catholic ceremony and have your marriage be blessed, but in order to officially be married by the catholic church you:

1) can't be divorced from a previous Catholic marriage

2) have to be catholic

3) have to have Catholic baptism certificate, first comunion certificate and confirmation certificate

4) complete pre-Cana (workshop) once you've proven you're catholic and are free to marry in a catholic church

It actually isn't from any previous Catholic marriage.. a anullment from the church is required prior to any marriage if one has been married before. However, if it wasn't a Catholic marriage or witnessed by Catholic clergy, an anulment is realtively easy to get since the marriage was not performed in the proper canonical form.

[gwenneh 7]

Hey, I'm catholic and from what I know and what I've been taught, if you're not Catholic or are divorced (from a previou catholic wedding) you can have a catholic ceremony and have your marriage be blessed, but in order to officially be married by the catholic church you:

1) can't be divorced from a previous Catholic marriage

2) have to be catholic

3) have to have Catholic baptism certificate, first comunion certificate and confirmation certificate

4) complete pre-Cana (workshop) once you've proven you're catholic and are free to marry in a catholic church

No, you don't. You won't be able to take Communion if you're not Catholic, but being able to be married in the church to a non-Catholic is certainly possible. It's quite commonplace.

As to the documents, the Catholic has to be baptized-they do not have to have had their communion or confirmation. I certainly wasn't confirmed and still got married by a Catholic priest in a Catholic church.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Hey guys, James and I are planning our bigger, church wedding at the moment and I had a few questions for anyone who knows anything about the Catholic Church.

I am Jewish, although not really practicing, I have heard that this isn't really a problem as long as you agree to raise your children Catholic (which I have always told James I would be fine with as he is much more religious than I) Does anyone have any experiences with this?

Our other, we think bigger question is do we need to belong to a parish to have our wedding there? Some people told us that and now we're a little worried... If we have had nothing to do with any catholic church in America, are we going to have trouble getting someone to marry us in one??

We are going to churches in the next few days to do some research, but I was hoping to get an idea of what to expect. Plus I have heard that the answers to these sort of questions can vary depending on the priest, so I'd like to hear as many experiences as possible.

Thanks!

Hi,

My father is an ordained Deacon of over 30 years who has prepared numerous couples for marriage in the Catholic Church. If you want, I can PM you his email address if you have specific questions but in general, James needs to belong to a Parish and from there, you both will be required to go through marriage preparation. The classes are very good and helpful in answering a lot of questions you both may have regarding religion differences and children. I also believe that the Parish will require a 6 month waiting period before you can marry in the Church, but double check with them because they may count it from your date of engagement...I don't know for sure. Hope that helps!

[tsunamihart 0]

Ok, you sound like Cristina and I before we were married, I am Jewish she's Catholic, of course she is she's from Spain. Anyway, it wasn't a problem, our priest was cool, we lived near the church but Cristina didn't belong, yes you need to say you'll raise them in the Catholic faith, but I also didn't sign anything saying I couldn't raise them Jewish as well( boy that would serve them right, Holy Cathew!), we're still "shopping" churches now that we've moved, to find something closer to our house. I'm not practicing either except for family get togethers but I attend with Cristina and am always fighting with the ushers who want me to go up and take communion and I have to tell them "I don't want no hes-stinking crackers, I've been bad I tell ya", anyway relax and have a good laugh at the Pre Canna classes. We went to a Family planning one where the couple who was teaching it had 8 kids!!!!! Too funny!

[j&js 0]

Thanks for all the info!! Read stuff over this morning before we left, but had no time to respond.

Anyways, we went to the church one town over, a very Jewish town, and the priest is on vacation but it looked good. James will join the parish, although not attend too often, and they are really accepting of interfaith marriages due to the town they are located in, The woman there said we had to meet with the priest when he gets home but that the date we want is open and it should be fine. Hopefully she's right! The place we want to have the reception is really near by and we want to book it before we lose it... I think we'll just do it and cross our fingers!

Thanks again for everyone sharing their experiences, it makes me feel better! I think we'll be all set now.