NOID

[Meriem_DZ 37]

Jess, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am praying that you and George will find a solution.

Meriem

[amal 4]

There would have to be something you can submit...I hope your lawyer can offer some good advice on that... we are thinkin and prayin for you and your family ... I will offer to you the same advice ppl have told me in the past...."keep your chin up...God will not give you more than you can handle and he has a reason for everything that happens (even if it's not the way you wanted) ".... that's the best advice I can give...if you need to talk..I'm here for ya..

amal

[iceyspots 0]

[ya falaha! 0]

Ok I know I'm gonna get slammed for this but I gotta ask....

Where does your young son fall in the chain of importance? It seems that he's an afterthought.

[noura 0]

Ok I know I'm gonna get slammed for this but I gotta ask....

Where does your young son fall in the chain of importance? It seems that he's an afterthought.

I think it's a good question - there's been no mention of him at all - No offense intended Jess, but just curious of where he falls in this decision.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Sorry to hear about this setback, Jess. I guess you had a feeling it might be a possibility. But you've already been through so much together, so I don't think you'll be giving up.

Insha'allah you can come up with a way to be together, whether it's in Lebanon or in a third country.

Thoughts and prayers with you, and wishing you all the best.

-MK

[ya falaha! 0]

No offense intended with my question either.

I have two young sons myself and they are the reason why I'm waiting this visa hell out here instead of in Egypt with my husband. My husband would never allow me to put him ahead of my sons. They are mine forever and most important.

[Together4ever 1]

Before this heads south I just want to say you can never know the reasons for another's decisions. Its easy to place judgements or state what YOU would do, but you know... I think Jess is dealing with enough. I ended up being separated from my kids WAY longer then I had planned and it was hell, although I had many who sat around shrieking "abandonment" at me. My children mean everything to me and Mohammed was utterly broken over the fact that that things happened the way they did.

Come on guys...

Edited August 17, 2006 by just_waiting

[Bosco 1]

If we share here, are "sisters" as some have said in the past, ask for advice, seek support and vent, I think it is only fair we understand that in turn other may ask questions about those decisions and how we are making them. I thought it was done tactfully enough. The question is legitimate. If being near her son is a priority, people may offer different suggestions on how to deal with their situation. Fighting the denial and exploring Canada become more crucial. If he isn't, then exploring the possibility of a far-away third country is an option.

Not only that, but I think we do each other a service rather than a disservice by *gently* pointing out to one another if and when we think we may have lost focus on whats really important because of the stress of immigration. If someone felt I was overlooking my daughter because I was consumed with my husband's adjustment or something similar, it may sting at first, but I would later be thankful. It also extends more broadly than children - if someone seems too stressed out about this, we suggest that keep seek professional help, if someone is at risk of losing the relationship with their parents because of their choice of partner, we tell them to think how it may not bother them now but could really hurt them later on.

[ya falaha! 0]

Well said, Bosco.

It's just that for months I've been reading about Jess' heartbreaking ordeal and haven't heard much about concern for the child. It was kinda bugging me to be quite honest. I don't mean to be harsh or anything.

[Jenn! 918]

If we share here, are "sisters" as some have said in the past, ask for advice, seek support and vent, I think it is only fair we understand that in turn other may ask questions about those decisions and how we are making them. I thought it was done tactfully enough. The question is legitimate. If being near her son is a priority, people may offer different suggestions on how to deal with their situation. Fighting the denial and exploring Canada become more crucial. If he isn't, then exploring the possibility of a far-away third country is an option.

Not only that, but I think we do each other a service rather than a disservice by *gently* pointing out to one another if and when we think we may have lost focus on whats really important because of the stress of immigration. If someone felt I was overlooking my daughter because I was consumed with my husband's adjustment or something similar, it may sting at first, but I would later be thankful. It also extends more broadly than children - if someone seems too stressed out about this, we suggest that keep seek professional help, if someone is at risk of losing the relationship with their parents because of their choice of partner, we tell them to think how it may not bother them now but could really hurt them later on.

This is the same issue that seems to come up again and again here on VJ. And I really think it's just a personality thing, so we'll never all agree. I know this is a gross simplification, but if a friend asks me if her butt looks big in a dress, I will answer her honestly, but I won't add that the dress draws attention to her flabby arms unless she asks me that specifically.

And if it were me, I would want advice specific to my questions asked without anyone gently pointing out other things to me. So I think we all tend to adhere to "Do unto others..."

[lostinlove228 0]

Sorry to hear about that Jess. Hang in there.

[Together4ever 1]

If we share here, are "sisters" as some have said in the past, ask for advice, seek support and vent, I think it is only fair we understand that in turn other may ask questions about those decisions and how we are making them. I thought it was done tactfully enough. The question is legitimate. If being near her son is a priority, people may offer different suggestions on how to deal with their situation. Fighting the denial and exploring Canada become more crucial. If he isn't, then exploring the possibility of a far-away third country is an option.

Not only that, but I think we do each other a service rather than a disservice by *gently* pointing out to one another if and when we think we may have lost focus on whats really important because of the stress of immigration. If someone felt I was overlooking my daughter because I was consumed with my husband's adjustment or something similar, it may sting at first, but I would later be thankful. It also extends more broadly than children - if someone seems too stressed out about this, we suggest that keep seek professional help, if someone is at risk of losing the relationship with their parents because of their choice of partner, we tell them to think how it may not bother them now but could really hurt them later on.

This is the same issue that seems to come up again and again here on VJ. And I really think it's just a personality thing, so we'll never all agree. I know this is a gross simplification, but if a friend asks me if her butt looks big in a dress, I will answer her honestly, but I won't add that the dress draws attention to her flabby arms unless she asks me that specifically.

And if it were me, I would want advice specific to my questions asked without anyone gently pointing out other things to me. So I think we all tend to adhere to "Do unto others..."

I agree Jenn. This is a very highly personal thing and maybe she just doesn't want all of her private stuff "out here" infront of everyone which I can understand. That's the only reason I said what I did. There are things I will not discuss in open forum just because of past events. This IS a somewhat permanent record viewable by anyone.

Edited August 17, 2006 by just_waiting

[noura 0]

I certainly was not passing judgement and feel horrible for all that Jess is going thru - I know she has a lot on her plate. But like Mrs. Z, I was just noticing there's hardly a mention of the child. And yes, Jean's right, this is a somewhat permanent public record and I can totally understand everyone has reasons for not putting certain information in a public forum. I, in no way, meant to cause Jess any undue stress. I'm sorry.

Noura

[~Jess~ 0]

hey everyone. first and foremost i want to say thanks for the continued support to me and george for those who have been supporting to us....................second and this isnt meant to offend anyone of the askers but about my child, it isnt that im not mentioning him here because i am not thinking or doing something about his situation, i am not mentioning it here because this is an immigration board, open to the public, and i am a private person when it comes to my child and his where abouts, if you all want to flame me for that, then be my guest. yes i am going thru enuf right now that is true, but my son is indeed a priority, just to clarify that im not a dead beat mom. just wanted to clear that up.

Again thank you to everyone who has been there for us. this is just another hurdle that we are given and we will over come it, together, AS A FAMILY stronger then ever.