How To Get Divorce in The USA When Both Parties Lives Abroad

[Indo_mommy 0]

Another question, do I have to return my expired Green Card? If yes where to? Will it affected if in the future I wish to apply for a tourist visa for a visit? I'm sure my inlaws whom I'm very close to would love to see my son and me one day down the road and they are getting too old to travel all the way to Indonesia.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Another question, do I have to return my expired Green Card? If yes where to? Will it affected if in the future I wish to apply for a tourist visa for a visit? I'm sure my inlaws whom I'm very close to would love to see my son and me one day down the road and they are getting too old to travel all the way to Indonesia.

You can surrender your green card at any US embassy or consulate, but it's probably not necessary since it's expired. It shouldn't affect your ability to get a tourist visa in the future.

If the problem with child support in Indonesia is enforcement then it won't do you much good to get a support order against your husband in the US. The US government can't enforce it against him while he's outside the US. The only thing they can do, as you discovered, is refuse to renew his passport. If he returns to the US and is in arrears on a US issued support order then they can prevent him from leaving the US. However, neither the US government nor any individual state in the US has a child support reciprocity agreement with Indonesia. If you manage to get a support order, you may have to wait until his passport comes up for renewal before you'll get any money from him.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Jim thanks for your reply. It is really difficult. I had read the returning resident visa but I'm afraid I won't have enough evidence to proof our ties to the US when we moved out. He and I doesn't have a house/property or even a car together back then. He closed down our one and only bank account before he left the US. I think he did filed for income tax but he holds that paper and I know chances are he won't let me have the copy. My only ties are with my inlaws and step sons. Other than that my chance of getting returning resident visa approved seems pretty dim.

Thanks again!

[rlogan 2,036]

Alright, Indo_mommy. That's a big step in the right direction. Deception never simplifies things, and when you are asking for help then there isn't reason to give any help if you can't be trusted. People talking behind your back are not worth being concerned about. I am very sorry for your situation.

A couple of things. First is the husband's attitude towards divorce. It seems like he is wanting to just carry on like he is without having to face reality - is that the situation? You mentioned counseling though so it's not clear what his mindset is, and that is relevant.

I agree with the others who have indicated looking hard for the most economical Indonesian divorce is an option you need to have researched. I don't know Indonesian law but now that you've identified your country it will be a lot easier for people who do to speak up. I would imagine it matters whether he is contesting or not, so...

If there is a bench warrant out on him I would want to know the specifics on that if I were in your shoes to see if it can be used as leverage in some way. Most courts in the US have computerized look-up. You already have his name and then all you would need is which jurisdiction - State or County court. His cooperation can be encouraged if you have something to work with there. I would not believe what he says. I would want to see it. But it must be pretty serious if he doesn't ever want to go back to the USA because of it.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Rlogan, thank you.

That sadly is very much the situation. He's just living his new life with this girlfriend without a care in the world and just ignore me and my child as if we're just a nuisance that will go away by itself and that what hurts the most. If only he would be manly enough to just say it to my face maybe it would be different.

I had posted in an Indonesian forum as well and I've been told I need to register the marriage first with paying a fine before I can file for divorce here so chances are now that's what I will be doing. I've been told that I can even report him and the other woman for adultery to the police after the marriage is registered.

For the bench warrant, I only know his side of the story. This took place before I married him and I was shocked to find out he had a lawsuit for check forgery where he 'claimed' an old girlfriend was lending him $50 but forgot to sign the check and told him to just go ahead and signed it then she press charges. I went to the court one time with him but before the case was over he and I moved to AL. It was when he tried to renew his driver's license that he found out about the bench warrant. He was worried about leaving the country at first to go to China but turned out that never came up.

Thanks again.

[rlogan 2,036]

Rlogan, thank you.

That sadly is very much the situation. He's just living his new life with this girlfriend without a care in the world and just ignore me and my child as if we're just a nuisance that will go away by itself and that what hurts the most. If only he would be manly enough to just say it to my face maybe it would be different.

I had posted in an Indonesian forum as well and I've been told I need to register the marriage first with paying a fine before I can file for divorce here so chances are now that's what I will be doing. I've been told that I can even report him and the other woman for adultery to the police after the marriage is registered.

Excellent. You'll find that just knowing what path to take and making each small step will gather up strength and courage that will eventually become invincible.

For the bench warrant, I only know his side of the story. This took place before I married him and I was shocked to find out he had a lawsuit for check forgery where he 'claimed' an old girlfriend was lending him $50 but forgot to sign the check and told him to just go ahead and signed it then she press charges. I went to the court one time with him but before the case was over he and I moved to AL. It was when he tried to renew his driver's license that he found out about the bench warrant. He was worried about leaving the country at first to go to China but turned out that never came up.

You can't believe a word he says. Even if it was a civil lawsuit and not criminal, if he tried to escape justice by fleeing then there may indeed be criminal charges involved now. Do your research on this. You don't want to pursue this to be vengeful. The point is to have leverage to make him cooperate. His employer may not be interested in his sex life. But criminal record is a completely different matter. If they asked him on his employment application about such things and he lied, most employers will fire him summarily for that.

He's going to know that. When you can lay down the court record in front of him it will demonstrate you are a force he has to reckon with instead of someone who just lies down to die. It is going to be a major attitude adjustment.

Trust me in being extremely suspicious that this is about a lot more than a fifty dollar civil lawsuit. Who files a court case over fifty bucks? Who flees from such a trivial thing and turns it into a major life crisis where they can't even renew their driver's license?

Get the court records. All you need to do is google for the county court online case info and enter his name. It is that simple.

I would bet there are other kinds of things on his record too. So write down wherever he has lived and go to those states and counties to look up what cases have been filed against him and what their dispositions are. Very little time is involved with this and the potential benefits are huge.

[Ban Hammer 13,487]

i remember you way back when as OyenJames. i'm sorry to read the bad news, and hope that things turn out well for you.

[indian guy 13]

simple answer, Contact American consulate and file divorce, Only thing you should be aware of , that you should know his address where he is living. consulate will forward the divorce complaint to his last knows address. If he didn't reply then you will have option for 90 days rule . Publish the add in news paper and wait for 90 days , if no reply hen move forward.

I don't know if the add should be in USA or in your country , that you have to find out. I guess if you explore that avnue, you may found a path to get divorce.

6 month residency is must for states in US and Civil judges are very strict on that. Atleast one party has to be living in same state for six month otherwise judge dismiss the divorce filing. Its going to happend in my case.

Edited September 20, 2010 by Pascal

[William33 110]

Indo_mommy,

I remember you from long ago.

Your situation is unfortunate indeed. Given your 5 year marriage, can you explain why you only had a 2 year green card? I am guessing a late AOS process? Anyway, your best bet is to file for divorce in the US, to ensure proper child support is provided. Given that you appear to have sole custody of your child, was that handled through a court or default by your husband's absence? If court based, you can spin the support piece and the divorce through that channel. Either way, you need to contact a local us attorney for further action.

Send me a pm if you need some contact instructions or if we can help offline.

As other's pointed out though,so long as the father is outside the USA, the support order cannot be enforced. However, you will protect your child's interests in the long term.

All the best to you,

William

Edited September 26, 2010 by William33

[William33 110]

Upon further reading, I see that you had reasons for the delayed AOS.

Anyway, you need to engage a US attorney for divorce proceedings and child support.

Forget the "mixed marriage" attorney for 5-10K USD. That is robbery at best.

Send me a pm for further help offline.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Hi William, I just checked this topic again. Thank you for your replies and I will message you shortly.