How To Get Divorce in The USA When Both Parties Lives Abroad

[BrokenHearted77 0]

My case is very complicated but I wonder if anyone can help me with any advice.

My husband (he's the USC) and I has been married for 5 years (actually today is our 5th wedding anniversary). I got my 2 years GC but it was expired in early 2009 while both of us had moved to Asia. At the time we can't apply for renewal of conditions because he got laid off from his job. We moved back to my home country.

Problem is he's been cheating on me since he works in Asia. This time we've been separated for almost 6 months now. We have a son who is 4 years old that holds dual citizenship. Our marriage haven't been registered in my home country.

I don't know where to turn or how to file for divorce, I'm jobless (been trying for 6 months to get a job now) and when I contacted some lawyers that specialized in mix marriages divorce here I was given a $5,000-$10,000 'estimates'.

We were married in Upstate NY but we moved to Birmingham, AL before moving to Asia.

I had tried so hard to save my marriage, even letting go of my green card but I just can't take it anymore now that he's living with the other woman. I wish I still have my green card and can return to the States to give my son a better life because it's close to impossible in getting a job here with my age.

Thank you for reading this.

Edited September 3, 2010 by BrokenHearted77

[desert_fox 32]

My case is very complicated but I wonder if anyone can help me with any advice.

My husband (he's the USC) and I has been married for 5 years (actually today is our 5th wedding anniversary). I got my 2 years GC but it was expired in early 2009 while both of us had moved to Asia. At the time we can't apply for renewal of conditions because he got laid off from his job. We moved back to my home country.

Problem is he's been cheating on me since he works in Asia. This time we've been separated for almost 6 months now. We have a son who is 4 years old that holds dual citizenship. Our marriage haven't been registered in my home country.

I don't know where to turn or how to file for divorce, I'm jobless (been trying for 6 months to get a job now) and when I contacted some lawyers that specialized in mix marriages divorce here I was given a $5,000-$10,000 'estimates'.

We were married in Upstate NY but we moved to Birmingham, AL before moving to Asia.

I had tried so hard to save my marriage, even letting go of my green card but I just can't take it anymore now that he's living with the other woman. I wish I still have my green card and can return to the States to give my son a better life because it's close to impossible in getting a job here with my age.

Thank you for reading this.

You cannot file for divorce in the US as the court will not accept your filing. You have to actually live within the jurisdiction of the court which varies from state to state, but probably like six months.,

You can file where you live now, if the court will accept jurisdiction, which should not be a problem (only is it worth 10,000 dollars??), or you can move back to the US, establish residency in any jurisdiction, and file there. The court needs to contact him officially thru service of process. It would be easier for hime to agree and accept the supenoa thru the mail, sign it and return it to the court. If he is not agreeable, then you would have to find some other manner to serve him, (usually thru publication in the local newspaper at his loast known US address,

[BrokenHearted77 0]

Thank you for your reply, desert_fox.

Yes, I have read about that most states requires at least 6 months residency and that is impossible right now with my green card expired for over a year now. Is it possible to apply for removal of conditions a year late and with my conditions of being separated here, jobless, etc.

The main reason I wish to get the divorce done within the US is because of child support and how the government will enforce it because my husband actually owed over $10,000 last year in Child Support for his kids from his first marriage and the embassy here actually hold his passport until he paid them when he went in to renew the passport.

I had read online a lot and they said it is possible to get the divorce decree issued outside the US to be acknowledge back in the US but of course he could easily file for appeal especially when it comes to child support. Problem is I will never afford to price tag of $5,000-$10,000 (yes, US dollars). I have been lucky enough that my parents can support my son and I while I'm still struggling to get a job here but there's no way I could ever come up with that much money.

He's been totally ignoring me and only give us $200 a month if he remembers it which is barely enough to support my son. I think he's ignoring the whole thing because he have no intentions of ever moving back to the States and he knows I can't afford to pay the lawyer fee here to file for divorce.

Sorry for the long rant. I really thank you for your reply.

[BrokenHearted77 0]

Is it even possible for me to come there using a tourist visa then file for divorce? My inlaws came up with the idea.

[payxibka 10,047]

Is it even possible for me to come there using a tourist visa then file for divorce? My inlaws came up with the idea.

maximum tourist visa stay is 6 mos.... your last post indicated many jurisdictions require a minimum of 6 mos residency to be even able to file...

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

The residency issue is a big one. Tourist are visitors not residents. Nevada the home of the quick wedding also only has a 6 week resident requirement I think Mexico and the Dominican Republic also have fast divorces

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

In some states, like Nevada, the residency requirement is only six weeks. I don't know if they would consider you a resident for the purposes of filing a divorce if you were in the country on a tourist visa. Alabama, the last US state you resided in, requires that either party be a resident of the state for at least six months immediately prior to filing.

It is possible to submit a late filing for removal of conditions if you can prove that the reason for the late filing is not your fault. This becomes increasingly more difficult as more time passes. If you try to use the excuse that you're filing late because you're separated from your husband then your petition will certainly be denied. First, being separated doesn't prevent you from picking up a pen and filling out a form. Second, the "condition" on your conditional green card is that you remain married to your husband. You are required to file the petition to remove that condition jointly with your husband. You can request a waiver of the joint filing requirement if the marriage ended in divorce, and if you can prove you entered the marriage in good faith. There is no provision to ask them to waive the joint filing requirement because you're separated, and USCIS can't approve a petition with a divorce waiver request until you submit a copy of the divorce decree. There's your Catch 22 - you can't get a US divorce until you return to the US, and you can't return unless you can get your green card reinstated, and you can't get your green card reinstated until you're divorced. Making this even MORE complicated, you would probably have to return to the US for an interview before your removal of conditions could be granted. You don't currently have any valid basis to reenter the US.

A final nail in your green card coffin is the fact that you've been outside the United States for more than a year without a reentry permit. Even if your green card were not expired, it would be seized by CBP if you tried to reenter the United States. Being out of the US for more than a year without a reentry permit means you've abandoned your residency. If your green card were not expired then you could apply at a US consulate for a returning resident visa, provided you could show extraordinary circumstances that prevented you from returning within a year.

There is one remote hope for you to get a new green card, but you'd have to prove your husband abused you while you were living in the US. The requirements are that the abuse must have occurred in the US, and you must have concrete proof the abuse occurred (police reports, medical reports, etc.). Cheating on you is not considered abuse for this purpose.

Most foreign divorces are automatically recognized in the US. However, having a foreign divorce recognized does not automatically entitle you to child support under the laws of any US state. You need to ask a family court to issue an order of support, and you must be in their jurisdiction (the residency requirement again) before you can ask for this. Except in some rare circumstances, a foreigner living abroad cannot ask a family court in the US to issue a support order against a US citizen living abroad based on a divorce that was obtained abroad. You have to pursue this with the courts in your own country.

I think your only options are the same as any other woman in your country in the same circumstances. You should file to get your marriage recognized there, proceed with the divorce, and then get on with your life. Your son has dual citizenship. Someday you son can return to the US and petition to get an immigrant visa for you. He'll need to be at least 21 years old, and have at least 5 years of residency in the United States.

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

In some states, like Nevada, the residency requirement is only six weeks. I don't know if they would consider you a resident for the purposes of filing a divorce if you were in the country on a tourist visa.

Nevada accepts staying there on the VWP for the 6 weeks residency, so I would assume they accept a tourist visa.

[rlogan 2,036]

My husband (he's the USC) and I has been married for 5 years (actually today is our 5th wedding anniversary). I got my 2 years GC but it was expired in early 2009 while both of us had moved to Asia. At the time we can't apply for renewal of conditions because he got laid off from his job. We moved back to my home country.

This part is simple. You did not apply for "removal of conditions". You left the country. Your green card expired. You cannot remove conditions now based on your reasoning behind failure to apply, which was absurd. You cannot re-enter.

The logic seems to be that he got laid off and that somehow prevented applying for removal of conditions. It doesn't.

Instead, you bought airline tickets for three people to leave the country. The application fee for ROC is a mere fraction of the cost of the airline tickets.

Problem is he's been cheating on me since he works in Asia. This time we've been separated for almost 6 months now. We have a son who is 4 years old that holds dual citizenship. Our marriage haven't been registered in my home country.

I don't know where to turn or how to file for divorce, I'm jobless (been trying for 6 months to get a job now) and when I contacted some lawyers that specialized in mix marriages divorce here I was given a $5,000-$10,000 'estimates'.

We were married in Upstate NY but we moved to Birmingham, AL before moving to Asia.

I had tried so hard to save my marriage, even letting go of my green card but I just can't take it anymore now that he's living with the other woman. I wish I still have my green card and can return to the States to give my son a better life because it's close to impossible in getting a job here with my age.

Thank you for reading this.

I don't understand two things. First, your reluctance to state your home country and this vague generality of moving to "Asia". Laws are specific to each country so it is difficult to help you when you want to conceal important information.

The fact you are willing to supply specific geographic details about Upstate New York and Birmingham Alabama - places in the USA - but not even a hint of what country you are allegedly from in "Asia" can be coupled with your grammar and wording (drifting between broken english and mastery of not just english but regional US dialect) to suggest we look with suspicion on why.

Another huge red flag difficult to fit into this tale is your husband suddenly coming up with ten thousand dollars to pay child support from a previous spouse.

You claimed you could not apply for ROC because he was laid off. But then we have at least three international airline tickets and ten thousand dollars he seems to come up with no problem... something is really wrong with this picture.

The story has not been told sequentially. It is not a complicated story at all if there is truth to it, and that is the natural way for people relating a true story. What is complicated is the way it has been told to us, and how piecing it together sequentially makes it less coherent.

You claim to want a U.S. enforcement of child support, which is easy to do when you are a permanent resident or citizen. So here we are again at the absurdity of not applying for ROC in the first place.

Here is the final clue for me:

I had tried so hard to save my marriage, even letting go of my green card

There is no logic here whatsoever. How does letting go of your green card save this marriage? First you said that you let go of the green card because the husband was laid off. But then suddenly there is money for international airline tickets and $10K for back child support. So that reasoning is pretty suspicious.

Now the story is that you gave up the green card to save the marriage. Logic dictates that someone trying to stay married to a U.S. citizen works hard to get the Removal of Conditions. The other alternative of course is for the husband to apply for permanent residency in your country, which you made no mention of.

It seems to me that we have a story that has been woven around an idea that has been thought of. When a person does that, the story is not told sequentially and there will be a necessity of not giving details on things you are inexperienced with. The title of the thread is the idea - how to get divorce in the USA when both parties live outside the USA and the green card has expired. Behind it is the consistent theme of someone who has appeared here in various guises: how to get benefits of U.S. citizenship or permanent residency illicitly.

So if you pose such a thing, then you have to get the husband/wife out of the country for some reason, and the idea of being laid off and seeking employment overseas is used. You'd be running a lot of risks stating which country and what profession because it's not a very good story. Everyone else is trying to come to the USA to get a job, not the other way around. So therefore we just say "Asia" and do not mention the kind of work he is doing.

We need to bolster the motivation for getting a divorce in the USA so the story of having the passport renewal held up for $10K in child support provides us this motivation.

We also need to make divorce too expensive to do in the home country, so we state that some lawyers told us it would be $5 - $10K. Naming the home country is again important because verifying that figure is rendered impossible.

The inlaws coming up with the idea of the tourist visa - interesting. The OP has spoken with the husband's family between two of "her" own posts, and they are helping the foreign spouse conspire to commit immigration crimes in order to get a better divorce settlement for her out of their own son.

Presumably they will be paying for the airline tickets and six months of rent, food, etc. too because remember our OP is unemployed and coming on a tourist visa will not allow employment.

I say we give the OP the benefit of the doubt and allow her to tell the story from the beginning with the details of what country she is from and what work the husband does, along with the actual dates involved with the green card timeline. It is only common courtesy here to fill in your timeline. It is a little too easy to just come on providing no useful information for other members but asking them to solve your problems.

In providing those details we'll also need to know about the previous marriage and divorce too, making that fit into the timeline in a way that makes sense for $10K in child support to have been racked up by the time the husband needs his passport renewed.

I would want an explanation of how being laid off was good reasoning for not applying for ROC, how all of them leaving the country made better sense to them at the time knowing the green card would expire (she said she gave it up to save the marriage) and how this $10K in cash suddenly appears to pay off the child support debt.

I'd say this would be a courtesy to everyone including the mods who have had to deal with someone repeatedly signing on with new user names and not even having to fill in a timeline in order to waste peoples time and bait decent people into TOS violations.

[BrokenHearted77 0]

Rlogan, let me try to answer to your questions as best as I can.

When I first posted the question I hold back some informations such as my original country of origin. But at this point I don't think it matters anymore.

Okay here goes the full story:

Yes, we were married in Upstate NY in 2005. Moved to AL in 2006. Our son was born in 2006. My Conditional GC was finally received after the help of an AL congressman because we got an RFE for my medical examination forms. In 2008 he got a job in China. Despite my rejections because the company did not offer us (me+my son) visas to stay in China he took the job anyway. Upset, my parents paid for my tickets to fly home to Indonesia with my son.

Due to Chinese Olympic game at the time it was so difficult for me to get a tourist visa and being Indonesian they wouldn't let me extend my visas from within China. In that one year he was working there my son and I had only spent total of 2 months with him in China. Each time we could only stayed for 30 days max.

In November 2008 (this is less than a year after I left the US) my son and I went back to visit my inlaws in Florida. Stayed there a month. Went to China but then again the company denied to give us the documents so we can apply for a resident permit for me in China (it's a local airline company and the husband got his job from a head hunter company based in Singapore). Both companies refused to help us. In April 2009, he got laid off. The initial plans was for him to work in China for 2 years.

When this happened my son and I has been back in Indonesia so I begged him to just come here and find a job. My green card expired in the same month, April 2009. I told him we could just apply for the returning resident visa later on. Turned out he doesn't want to return to the States.

In late June 2009 he got a new job from the help of one of my relative that happened to personally known the owner of a local airline here. As for the child support, he didn't pay for them since he left for China. Thus, the $10k total. He found out about the total when he went to US Embassy here to add more pages to his passport because his job in a local airline here requires him to do plenty of business trips internationally. They hold back his passport until the balance is set back to zero. He had a talked with the airline owner and they agreed to lend him $10k. They took it out of his paycheck every month $1k a month. They even had an agreement that until he paid back the money the company will withheld my passport and they did. My passport was kept until just a couple of months ago.

After all that was taken care off he went to an almost 4 weeks business travel to Ireland to pick up a plane the airline was renting. It was during that time that I discovered his emails, his chats records with some Chinese girls. Found his dating profile on a Chinese dating site. We fought on the phone and online. He said nothing happened. Mind you, the second time I joined him in China after my last visit back to the US, I found out there was a girl that lived there. Found lipsticks, long black hairs, etc that wasn't mine. He came up with the most unbelievable story saying he was giving his friend's girlfriend a place to stay for a few weeks. Red flag!

When he came back from Ireland, we moved into the apartment the airline provided. We tried to be a family again, well at least I tried. His work schedules are crazy, between the many business trips (he's now a Q.A Manager) both locally and internationally things went downhill again. We've been living like roommates.

Until in March 2010, just a day after my birthday, I found his emails and pictures with another woman. Someone he works with at the same company. I emailed the owner of the company, the HR manager and his boss with the evidences. They ignored more. I moved out that day and we've been separated ever since. Turned out that girl is now living at the apartment with him. He's funding her online study, bought her laptop, even paid over $300 to get her start an online travel business here.

That's the whole story. I know my mistakes in this marriage, I suffered from an undiagnosed post partum depression after my son was born but I didn't know what it was until he and I went to see a marriage counselor back in April. I have no money on my own, he didn't get that much paid back in China, no savings, he only makes $2,300 a month here with the apartment and car + driver provided by the airline.

I said I let go of my green card because I knew he didn't want to go back there ever again. He had a bench order from Upstate NY for an old case from his ex girlfriend.

Edited September 12, 2010 by BrokenHearted77

[BrokenHearted77 0]

As for my English, does it help you if I said I'm a freelance writer? I have an English blog and has been writing for years. I've been told I have an American accent.

Thanks everyone for all of your replies. I know it's a tough situations and only Nevada have that 6 weeks period but I had read the requirements and since we have a child together we need to attend divorce class which will be impossible for him because of his works here. I just want to make sure that he will pay child support for my son and Indonesian law doesn't have a way to enforce the judgments like they did back in the States.

Those lawyers that gave me the $5k-$10k quotes are from a major firms here that specialize in mix marriages and I will never afford them.

[BrokenHearted77 0]

I'd say this would be a courtesy to everyone including the mods who have had to deal with someone repeatedly signing on with new user names and not even having to fill in a timeline in order to waste peoples time and bait decent people into TOS violations.

Ok, I understand the sentiment and I am sorry if I had decided to make a new user name because honestly, I am embarrassed with my situation and some old members here might remember me but now I realized that it really doesn't matter anymore isn't? My marriage is over and it's beyond my control. I will log in with my old user ID from now on.

Thank you for your time in responding, Rlogan.

[Indo_mommy 0]

I think your only options are the same as any other woman in your country in the same circumstances. You should file to get your marriage recognized there, proceed with the divorce, and then get on with your life. Your son has dual citizenship. Someday you son can return to the US and petition to get an immigrant visa for you. He'll need to be at least 21 years old, and have at least 5 years of residency in the United States.

Jim thanks for your reply. This is my original user ID and I will be using this from now on instead and screw what other Indonesian womens who knew me here would say or think. I've got bigger issues on my plate than some women talking about me behind my back.

My son's American passport will expire in 2 years and I'm a bit worried that my soon to be ex won't want to sign the forms to renew it if we divorce. He's been ignoring me for weeks now. My son's Indonesian citizenship are only valid until he's 18 years old and until then he must chose between the two unless of course the government here will approve the proposed dual citizenship bill.

Thanks again for your reply. I really appreciate it and I know it is a very catch 22 thingy. I guess I will just have to move on and stop counting on child support. I am still looking for other lawyers that won't cost me an arm and a leg.

[Boiler 45,945]

You want to get divorced.

You live in Indonesia.

I have no idea of the details of divorce procedures in Indonesia, my guess is that it would be a lot cheaper than the US.

It sounds like you need to do some more investigation on how to divorce locally at a reasonable cost.

[Indo_mommy 0]

Boiler, thank you. You're right it might be cheaper but the main reasons I wanted to file the divorce in the States is because of the child support but I guess that's close to impossible at this point. I'm waiting to hear from other lawyer here and I hope it would be a lot cheaper than what the other firm quoted me.

PS: I remember you from the old days.

Edited September 12, 2010 by Indo_mommy