Sticky situation... thoughts please.

[Nina and Erwin 16]

Hello, thanks for reviewing my situation and offering your thoughts.

My fiance and I are planning to get married in a week or two, we can't really afford a nice BIG wedding right now and are considering doing it very small, private and at a Justice of the Peace (court wedding) only with a few friends in attendance. My parents are not welcome to come, they are terribly negative people.

Here's the part I have concerns about.

He came to the US on a student Visa in 2008, of course it has expired by now and he is in overstay status. We first met Jan 2010 online and it was INSTANT chemistry, perfect compatibility, I finally found happiness and couldn't ask for a better partner. I traveled to see him in May 2010, we met in person (as he lives on the west coast and I on the Gulf coast) he traveled back with me to my home we have been together ever since.. as in literally, physically living together. We have even opened up a joint bank account and are conducting daily life as husband and wife already. We can't imagine being without one another and are making serious arrangements for me to relocate back to the west coast with him. I'm talking MAJOR life changes for me, leaving my job and moving away from family and friends and even taking my son(4yrs)with me. ONE MAJOR thing though I need your thoughts on, I was married to someone else but was separated for some time and even filed for divorce before my fiance and I physically met in May. That marriage had been sour for a long time prior due to his extramarrital affairs, I was terribly unhappy. The divorce has been finalized but we are going to be marrying almost right on top of the 30 day waiting period my state has in place before one can remarry.

I want to do this right so we can always be together we are planning to start a family of our own within the next year even, but there is little bit of urgency in his ability to be able to travel to his home country. His parents are in ailing health and it is essential he be able to visit them AND be able to return home to our family (me, my son and eventually our OWN children together)as well.

I'd love any input you can offer, informative insight, constructive criticisms and positive encouragements just the same.

Regards,

Lola

OMG... sounds like my situation ... doesn't it boiler?

[Luckywife2007 6]

Have him find out if he is already in removal proceedings. He should be able to check his status using his A# either online or via the phone.

If he is already in proceedings (regardless of his awareness of such) then USCIS will assume the marriage is fraud.

I know the number to call BUT what is the website?

Thanks!

[desert_fox 32]

I can tell you that if he leaves the US without a green card in his hand, that he will not be returning. He is a visa over-stayer and has incurred a 3 year bar on re-entry, and quickly approaching a 10 year bar.

So, if he leaves, you wont be seeing him again in the US for many years, as he inadmissible, and a waiver would be very difficult to obtain.

Also, you need to find out if he has a two year committment to return to Nigeria becaue of his J-1 via.

[elus 3]

He is a Nigerian , he is in violation of his prior visa. 1 real issue and one perceived issue ( him being Nigerian makes him seem more apt to abuse the system ) You getting married quickly after the divorce is another red flag. Being white means you are from a different "culture" and another red flag. Being close to the same age is better, being previously married is a hit for "going against cultural norms. Meeting online with a Nigerian is a negative. ( immigration sees a lot of Nigerians cruising the net for green card wives ) You have been cohabiting so you have some documentation of the relationship ( a plus) You need to find out for sure if he is in removal proceedings because that would be a huge red flag and would tip the scales against approval and place you on a very slow path to ever being together again. Knowing the negatives can help you realize you have to take some care in preparing your AOS package. Overstays are normally forgiven if there are not too many things that make it looks like he just went looking for someone to marry and get a green card from. If you present a well prepared application your chances of it working will go up. I would suggest you read some of the sub Saharan posts about relationships. You will find good things ( the Happy Endings thread) and some real horror stories. Reading these will help you understand why those that have gone before have such caused immigration to look so harshly on West Africans.

I am highly disappointed in you.You should know how you talk in public.In fact word from the month could make or break you.You are not an immigration officer and dont say what you dont know.Respite people feelings and their heart-felt.Some time most people dont like posting anything here because of your negative immature responses.I am a Nigerian and I meant well for the country even though i am here in the US.The highest issuance of visa in Africa is Nigeria.How come you just open your month and say what you dont know.Dont generalise ,we have have 150millions population and not all can be bad.US has the highest crime rate in the world and you never said anything like that.People going for visa for a better greener pasture doesnt make them somehow.If I have pasted something here about me being a Nigerian and what is attached to me as regard to immigration.I believe I wouldnt have gotten to where I am today.

Dont use your mouth to destroy people's happiness.People are different and dont use your own gut or myopic view to give advice,cos is capable of affecting feelings.

[elus 3]

Wow... this is rather disheartening. I'm not really worried about having to go through an interview, if anything I'm expecting such. Didn't know there was an option NOT TO have to do one. I'm not exactly sure I understand why being "white" would be a red flag, and yes I am, however my previous husband was of African decent (Caribbean) however he was already a permanent resident before we got together. My fiance' and I are close to the same age, I'm a wee bit older though, as in less than two years. As far as I know he is not going through any process of removal, if he is he isn't aware of it himself. SO then I wonder if it even makes any difference at all that I all preparing to completely uproot myself from everything I know and am attached to here on the Gulf coast and pack up and move to the West coast to be with him is even significant, LORD knows it's a MAJOR thing for me! I mean I have an excellent job as a government contract employee and am willing to quit and find something completely different and possibly not as lucrative so we can have a life together.

I appreciate all of the input! Please continue to offer insight. I'm thinking definitely an attorney will be necessary to make this work for us.

I am here to write you because I can stand to listen what some people are saying here mostly the so-called Nigeriaorbust.Immigration process is based on eligibility,you have no sole right to grant your husband Green Card and your husband has no sole right to obtain Green card because he married a US citizen.The fact that both of you must be eligible for it.To be eligible is not to violate some fundamental laws of the United State.Marrying so quick is not agaist the law,overstaying could be waived,large age gap is not an offence.white or black is not an offence.What they want is bona-fide marriage.

I am pretty much in your case and I just had my interview(August 31th 2010) and it was pretty easy.I am a Nigerian,I came to the US in January(Student Visa) and I met my wife in first week of March.She is older than me almost 13yrs,she is White and I am black.We met online and less almost two months we got married and we live together as husband and wife.During courtship there was any passing day we dont see each other.I love her so dearly we see ourselves as husband and wife and not the age difference.The kids love me too and I love them too.The kids even wrote affidavit for us during our interview.I have met their parent ,sister and brother in two different states.The immigration knows that their is always attraction between black and white,they know that people could marry for love even though one is far older than the other.if it was an issue they would have passed it into law. To me there are no red flags.What they want is love of marriage embedded in both of you.My application took 88days,got my EAD a 3weeks to interview and I file it a week after our honeymoon.

Once it come to love there are no restrictions.The feelings of the IO,the gut he suspected cant make him to deny you or else it will be overturn by the immigration judge.Shallow assumption or myopic view is not enough to deny.Large age gap,quick marriage and some other stuffs are not enough to deny.Marriage is about happiness for two parties involves.

My interview day was like we opening a bank account,the lady(White lady) that interviewed us shared her personal life with us,to which she even said she wasnt meant to tell us.She was in our shoe.Her first husband was a black man and they had 3 kids together,her second husband was a German and they met online and she knows how the internet stuff could be real.She didnt even think of the age gap,nor look at our photos.We were just chatting and laughing.She saw our body language and chemistry so positive and that is it.

Dont let this bother you ok,as far what you are doing is not against the law or violating the law.If both of you love each other then go and marry.Make sure you have good evidence like,photo album,utility bills,lease,joint statement and many stuffs like that.If both of you marry each other for real,his overstay will be waived ,that is the power of union and love.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

US has the highest crime rate in the world and you never said anything like that.

This is off topic, but if you're going to sling statistics around then you should at least attempt to get them right. The US has the highest reported crime rate in the world. This is because the overwhelming majority of crimes in the US are reported to police. It has nothing whatever to do with your chances of being a victim of crime in the US. The difference between the reported and actual crime rate in the US is thought to be relatively low, whereas the different between the reported and actual crime rate in many other countries is suspected to be far higher. People don't report crimes if there is no effective law enforcement where they live, or the law enforcement is perceived as being corrupt.

If you would like to get an idea why Nigeria is perceived as a high fraud country, do a google search on "Nigeria 419". You'll find it interesting reading.

[Boiler 45,939]

I have never been to Nigeria. A friend of mine worked there for a few years, his wife is Nigerian.

So my knowledge is limited to the tales he told of his time there.

[elus 3]

This is off topic, but if you're going to sling statistics around then you should at least attempt to get them right. The US has the highest reported crime rate in the world. This is because the overwhelming majority of crimes in the US are reported to police. It has nothing whatever to do with your chances of being a victim of crime in the US. The difference between the reported and actual crime rate in the US is thought to be relatively low, whereas the different between the reported and actual crime rate in many other countries is suspected to be far higher. People don't report crimes if there is no effective law enforcement where they live, or the law enforcement is perceived as being corrupt.

If you would like to get an idea why Nigeria is perceived as a high fraud country, do a google search on "Nigeria 419". You'll find it interesting reading.

Jim.You dont know anything about Nigeria as I am.I have lived in Nigeria before I came here.If you feel about my statistical labelling is wrong so what made you think that yours is right when you have not even been to Nigeria or live there.What made you feel that such crime is never reported?Nigeria is a good country over 150 millions population cant be wrong.It is a wrong notion for anybody to just come up here and say anything about any Country.A country is not just 5 people. You said about Nigeria 419,who are the collaborators??.Whatever you read on the internet is just a media stuff.

My own concern is that dont destroy any country in public,no matter how, be patriotic.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I will ask all who are participating in this discussion to keep on the topic asked by the OP. If you wish to continue the discussion about Nigeria itself please start a separate thread in the Regional Forums or Off Topic. The OP doesn't need to have her thread derailed with information that is outside of her immediate concerns. Thank you.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

To file and think that everything will be fine is a big mistake. There are several red flags that will be looked at. If there are more that haven't been stated then the process will be that much harder. There are people the represent the government in this process that are nothing short of evil. To be asked if your father died because you are marrying a white woman is insulting. We had daily phone calls except the days network prevented it covering 3 years. The process was not a piece of cake as you imply. Take a look at this list of red flags and note the specific mention of Nigerians. Along with age differences and racial differences. Red flags are what cause it to be tougher to get through without being hassled. Am I pleased by it now, is it part of the process yes. Should the OP be prepared for the worse , yes. IF they are lucky and get a quick approval then great but if they hit someone going "by the book" then they had best be prepared for how the book views their union.

* Sloppy dress or appearance: One wonders why the way you dress should have any bearing on the validity of your marriage.It is recommended however that you and your spouse dress neatly and professionally when attending your USCIS interview.

* Either spouse is past marriage age: While most of us would agree that there is no age limit on love, the USCIS seems to look with a jaded eye when the U.S. citizen or foreign spouse is in their 50s or older.

* Arrest records of theU.S. citizen or foreign spouse: Although it is the foreign spouse applying for lawful permanent residence, it is important to realize that the U.S. citizen spouse is also getting evaluated.There have been reports of U.S. citizen spouses arrested at USCIS interviews because of outstanding arrest warrants.Please keep this in mind and always consult an attorney should you or your spouse have a criminal history of any kind.

* Age differential: A large age difference of 10+ years between you and your spouse will trigger this “red flag”.

* Inability of the couple to communicate with each other.

* Different addresses on your drivers licenses: I have had USCIS officers request to see the couple’s drivers licenses during the interview itself in order to verify that the addresses were the same.

* Phone tips or letters from concerned citizens: I am told that a surprising number of cases are placed under investigation because neighbors or other concerned citizens write to the USCIS denouncing a marriage as fraudulent.

* Incorrect answers to questions at the interview: It is important that you and your spouse go over all the information submitted to the USCIS, with particular attention to the responses given on the G-325 biographical forms.

* Previous immigration petitions filed by the U.S. citizen spouse on behalf of former spouse

* Interracial marriages and foreign spouses from the country of Nigeria: Believe it or not, this is the #1 red flag for marriage fraud relied upon by USCIS officers.Other countries with a high incidence of immigration fraud are theDominican Republic and Pakistan

Other factors that may trigger heightened scrutiny and investigation by USCIS officers include:

* Marriage contracted where the parties have known each other for only a short time

* Vast class or economic differences between the couple

* Marriage which was NOT arranged by the parties’ families, where the couple comes from a country where arranged marriages are the norm

* Any marriage performed before a justice of the peace, without even a small wedding or reception

* Marriages where one spouse works the night shift, and the other works the day shift

* Marriages in which the couple does not live together

* Family or friends unaware of the marriage

* Marriage arranged by a third party

* Marriage entered into while the foreign spouse is “in proceedings” or after receipt of “bag and baggage” letter

* Foreign spouse is a friend of the family

[Boiler 45,939]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/272204-please-help/page__pid__4165735#entry4165735

This post seems somehow relevant.

[Lola21 0]

So with ALL of the great input everyone has posted for us, we've gone ahead and scheduled a consultation with an attorney for next week, BEFORE we get married. We certainly want to avoid making any missteps that will futher complicate the matter at all costs.

It seems that there is SUCH a vast array of experiences ranging from surprisingly pleasant to down right nerve-wracking and close to hellish that it only makes sense to seek guidance. If any of you can provide the phone number and/or website where we can check to see what his status is that would be just super. Also if anyone can suggest a superstar immigration attorney in either the Houston or Los Angeles area that would be a tremendous help... really I feel as if I have already asked too much from you all at this point but I am eternally grateful to you!

As far as additional "red flags" go I don't know what else might apply at this point. We are a young (29 and 31) attractive couple. As far as the meeting online goes, for us, it was I who found him through a mutual friend of ours, I had no idea of the whole immigration situation until well after we had already begun building our connection.

Note to ELUS: WOW! I hope we are able to have such a pleasant experience as you and your wife had. Totally restores hope that this may not end up being as tough and that our obvious chemistry and love for one another will shine through. While I understand where "NigeriaorBust" is coming from and is expressing the hardcore negatives of the situation, as unpleasant as they are I think they are things I do need to be prepared for, worst case scenario and all. I such high hopes for us and our future and cannot WAIT to go to Lagos to visit his family, his sisters and I are already planning out the things we will be doing once I get there. Meeting his parent will be somewhat initmidating but I am very much looking forward to that as well.

[elus 3]

So with ALL of the great input everyone has posted for us, we've gone ahead and scheduled a consultation with an attorney for next week, BEFORE we get married. We certainly want to avoid making any missteps that will futher complicate the matter at all costs.

It seems that there is SUCH a vast array of experiences ranging from surprisingly pleasant to down right nerve-wracking and close to hellish that it only makes sense to seek guidance. If any of you can provide the phone number and/or website where we can check to see what his status is that would be just super. Also if anyone can suggest a superstar immigration attorney in either the Houston or Los Angeles area that would be a tremendous help... really I feel as if I have already asked too much from you all at this point but I am eternally grateful to you!

As far as additional "red flags" go I don't know what else might apply at this point. We are a young (29 and 31) attractive couple. As far as the meeting online goes, for us, it was I who found him through a mutual friend of ours, I had no idea of the whole immigration situation until well after we had already begun building our connection.

Note to ELUS: WOW! I hope we are able to have such a pleasant experience as you and your wife had. Totally restores hope that this may not end up being as tough and that our obvious chemistry and love for one another will shine through. While I understand where "NigeriaorBust" is coming from and is expressing the hardcore negatives of the situation, as unpleasant as they are I think they are things I do need to be prepared for, worst case scenario and all. I such high hopes for us and our future and cannot WAIT to go to Lagos to visit his family, his sisters and I are already planning out the things we will be doing once I get there. Meeting his parent will be somewhat initmidating but I am very much looking forward to that as well.

My case is just a practical experience even worst than yours,remove fears and know that you marry for real not for immigration purposes and you will feel ok. We had many evidence.Prepare for the worst.By preparing for the worst you have to have many evidence to convince them.Go and marry you sweet heart you have noting to fear