Interview harassment or what ?

[Harsh_77 718]

I thought they could not ask any embarrassing questions. i saw one couple who responded with "2hrs ago"

when it comes time for our AOS i will tell them nonya on that tyoe of thing becasue that is not allowed.

Nab - they can ask u personal question to make sure marriage is legal and legit.

They are not trying to embrass you, but without that they cannot do their job.

[boilermaker 1]

They are just doing their job and making sure you don't have a phony marriage.

[Darnell 8,478]

...

Edited August 27, 2010 by Darnell

[crazymazy 0]

Well we have had the "strokes' version every step of this process so far. And just gets tiring to say the least. I know I had read in the k-1 area somewhere that many say they are not "romantically" involved when trying for a vistors visa for the 1st time. He was denied the visitors visa so was not able to come to the states. Which was not really a problem because I loved going over there and seeing his country but would of been nice if he could of come here once before moving here.

I have always been sort of a ditzy blonde - I am a mom who celebrated my son's birthday on the wrong date for the 1st 5 years of his life until I had to get a copy of his birth record for school.

I just hope they don't fault us for having a marriage where we don't sweat the small stuff - money stuff has never been a reason for me to fret and talk about - we either have it or not - but this is me not him - he actually remembered more then I did

But after being grilled for the 3rd time - is just getting old

[unpredictable 0]

My situation is different, I am waiting or should I say have been waiting for my VAWA approval/Denial for quite sometime now. I am very angry and bitter because my life has been put on hold because of this. My MOM passed away and I could not even go to say my last goodbyes..I saw her last at the bus station on my way to the airpor eight years ago, I have also been accepted to Medical school after graduating this year and even that is a bleek future for me right now. There is soo much stuff in my life that has been put on hold because of this wait.I curse, I question God every night, I get so angry listening to people talk about how they got approved and sometimes I hate reading "happy posts" here. I recently stopped looking at the website because it's a constant reminder of the many dissapointments that I have had to endure because of this delay, wait or whatever it is that they do at VSC. I live in constant fear of both the Immigration and my USC spouse who after my graduation is determined to get me deported, now more so than before. It's just a veavy load to bear sometimes and it just feels so hopeless at times.

[crazymazy 0]

We went and had dinner and a few drinks and would just like to add a few things to this thread then I am done with it -

@ meijie - I don't know where you come off with this statement:

Your husband lied on his tourist visa application and led them to believe he is romantically involved with another woman

nothing was ever mentioned about "another woman"

@ thongd4me - I could not understand a thing you were trying to say (??)

BUT I am going to say this - is a sad day in the United States if this is how a US Citizen born and raised to believe and love this country is treated because they have married a non-US citizen.

We are a country that has stood for so long as the melting pot of the world to now accept this sort of treatment from the government. We have let the fear of terrorism take away our right to live a "free" life and marry who we choose, when we choose, and live our lives like we choose.

I work with all women and when I told them what we were asked - 9/10 said their husbands did not or could not tell what they make either. If he could of said oh she makes so-so much money - who knows if then this would of not been turned into something to the effect of he is a gold digger ??

Is bogus to go though this and to let the government treat us like ####### because we have married outside of our country - if we were a sham marriage don't you think we would of had pat answers and match exactly our answers as if from recital ?

I have been married twice before to Americans and have raised my children. I have been single for along time and very independent - I did not take this marriage lightly and am not a rash person - neither of us are. It was not one of the drunk crazy one night Las Vegas marriages ..lol

After going though this process and doing the waiting game of getting him here on the K-1 visa - as many of you here also know - how sweet it is and how not to waste your time on petty stuff and just love the time being together because the wait was long and lonely.

You know what I really wanted to answer to every question that guy ask me ? I wanted to answer - oh my birthday ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

oh his birthday ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

oh valentine's day ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

where do I work ? oh my birthday ? what does it matter all I know is my husband is waiting for me to come home -

See this stuff the US immigration will never understand

[SuperDuper! 230]

OMG, that is just non sense, these people drive me crazy

Is it nonsense, or a Stokes Interview. This is the question.

[nab 74]

Well we have had the "strokes' version every step of this process so far. And just gets tiring to say the least. I know I had read in the k-1 area somewhere that many say they are not "romantically" involved when trying for a vistors visa for the 1st time. He was denied the visitors visa so was not able to come to the states. Which was not really a problem because I loved going over there and seeing his country but would of been nice if he could of come here once before moving here.

I have always been sort of a ditzy blonde - I am a mom who celebrated my son's birthday on the wrong date for the 1st 5 years of his life until I had to get a copy of his birth record for school.

I just hope they don't fault us for having a marriage where we don't sweat the small stuff - money stuff has never been a reason for me to fret and talk about - we either have it or not - but this is me not him - he actually remembered more then I did

But after being grilled for the 3rd time - is just getting old

OMG this was hilarious! must be a blonde thing... i've always ignored people when they roll their eyes at me and say "must be because you're blonde" but now i'm wondering just today reading through some of the questions they ask in a stokes interview i told my child "do you know i've lived here for 11.5yrs and totally dont remember what the walls look like in the gameroom!!" same with his bathroom, same with the walls in laundryroom... really sad thing? i actually painted the one crazy 70s looking wall in my gameroom and TOTALLY forgot about that so when i did remember a little while later "oh yeah i rmember there's gold and orange flowers on that one wall" my child looked at me and said "mom, we painted that wall a few years ago". oh yeah... but in my mind's eye i still see those groovy flowers

if i cant remember what the house looks like how is he supposed to?! and food, he says he has no favs because he is thankful for all ALLAH gives; i'm a good cook so everything is my fav (except lima beans but i would eat those if that's all we had ). so does he list everything he can remember that i like or does he tell them i like everything? the latter will seem like a cop-out but if he tries to list everything it may not be the things i would say depending on my mood. on his favs, do i answer he has no favs... or do i list the things i know he likes more becasue of his reaction to it (i.e. he eats more rather than picks at it, he is more happy mood after certain meals, so i know he DOES have favs... but do i say those when he wont admit it )

there are other things which come to mind but dont wanna derail the thread.

but i completely know what you mean about sweating the small stuff. in both our lives we have been through much (this visa stuff is nothing, just red tape), we are so thankful to have each other, and once he is here we will be enjoying every moment together.

wishing you luck and much happiness!

[Harsh_77 718]

We went and had dinner and a few drinks and would just like to add a few things to this thread then I am done with it -

@ meijie - I don't know where you come off with this statement: nothing was ever mentioned about "another woman"

@ thongd4me - I could not understand a thing you were trying to say (??)

BUT I am going to say this - is a sad day in the United States if this is how a US Citizen born and raised to believe and love this country is treated because they have married a non-US citizen.

We are a country that has stood for so long as the melting pot of the world to now accept this sort of treatment from the government. We have let the fear of terrorism take away our right to live a "free" life and marry who we choose, when we choose, and live our lives like we choose.

I work with all women and when I told them what we were asked - 9/10 said their husbands did not or could not tell what they make either. If he could of said oh she makes so-so much money - who knows if then this would of not been turned into something to the effect of he is a gold digger ??

Is bogus to go though this and to let the government treat us like ####### because we have married outside of our country - if we were a sham marriage don't you think we would of had pat answers and match exactly our answers as if from recital ?

I have been married twice before to Americans and have raised my children. I have been single for along time and very independent - I did not take this marriage lightly and am not a rash person - neither of us are. It was not one of the drunk crazy one night Las Vegas marriages ..lol

After going though this process and doing the waiting game of getting him here on the K-1 visa - as many of you here also know - how sweet it is and how not to waste your time on petty stuff and just love the time being togethe

r because the wait was long and lonely.

You know what I really wanted to answer to every question that guy ask me ? I wanted to answer - oh my birthday ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

oh his birthday ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

oh valentine's day ? what does it matter all I remember is my husband was here by my side - i don't remember anything else -

where do I work ? oh my birthday ? what does it matter all I know is my husband is waiting for me to come home -

See this stuff the US immigration will never understand

Well you could be right on your defence, but what the officials did was their job. You might have to face hardship, so pretty everybody on here has waited 6-12 months to be with their spouse.

I dont know if you know how many sham marriages happen just to get an entry into US, so maybe money does not matter to you or you husband does not know what you make at work and maybe both of you are ok with it. To a officer its if you both live in same household and you talk everyday and not knowing these basic stuff is like hmmmm something sounds fishy. You can discuss with your co-workers at work, but most of them would have never gone thru the immigration process and in my experience most US Citizens dont even know anything about immigration as they never have to go thru it.

So calm down and whtever the officers were doing, they were doing to prevent liers and cheaters from entering the country by commiting fraud.

I would not want it to be so easy, that anyone can sham a marriage and come to this country coz they cannot otherwise get any visa to enter the country.

If that ever happens country will be ruined.

[Jeff_W 0]

I would not want it to be so easy, that anyone can sham a marriage and come to this country coz they cannot otherwise get any visa to enter the country.

If that ever happens country will be ruined.

AMEN!

[crazymazy 0]

@ jeff and Harsh ....You two need to look at where I have lived the last 25 years ... Houston, TX ... NO one has to do a sham marriage ... all they have to do is walk across the border

[thongd4me 69]

Well you could be right on your defence, but what the officials did was their job.

You might have to face hardship, so pretty everybody on here has waited 6-12 months to be with their spouse.

I dont know if you know how many sham marriages happen just to get an entry into US,

so maybe money does not matter to you or you husband does not know what you make at work and maybe both of you are ok with it.

To a officer its if you both live in same household and you talk everyday and not knowing these basic stuff is like hmmmm something sounds fishy.

You can discuss with your co-workers at work, but most of them would have never gone thru the immigration process

and in my experience most US Citizens dont even know anything about immigration as they never have to go thru it.

So calm down and whtever the officers were doing, they were doing to prevent liers and cheaters from entering the country by commiting fraud.

I would not want it to be so easy, that anyone can sham a marriage and come to this country coz they cannot otherwise get any visa to enter the country.

If that ever happens country will be ruined.

You and your husband may have always been honest with each other but that's not what the immigration officials were testing.

Yes it sucks and it doesn't seem right and no your VJ friends are not mocking you.

Just have to take this dose of reality, maybe see an immigration attorney and try and figure out the next step.

There are no easy answers here.

[crazymazy 0]

I think we will pass the interview - I might be ditzy blonde but my husband isn't - if anything he probably knew more details about me than the guy at the immigration place knew about his wife. My husband is pretty passionate about me and everything about me

I can't see him asking me to provide a updated support form with my new place of employment just to deny the application - so we will see

Unless you read our timeline - you would not know we got the same grilling at the embassy, at the POE and now AOS. Mostly I feel because I am female and I am older than my husband - the men who are the same age difference then their wives do not get this hassle I think.

Is just enough - am ready to get the government out of my love life and move on with things.

[thongd4me 69]

I think we will pass the interview - I might be ditzy blonde but my husband isn't - if anything he probably knew more details about me than the guy at the immigration place knew about his wife. My husband is pretty passionate about me and everything about me

I can't see him asking me to provide a updated support form with my new place of employment just to deny the application - so we will see

Unless you read our timeline - you would not know we got the same grilling at the embassy, at the POE and now AOS. Mostly I feel because I am female and I am older than my husband - the men who are the same age difference then their wives do not get this hassle I think.

Is just enough - am ready to get the government out of my love life and move on with things.

Those are, to be candid, excuses not likely to hold up in a subsequent interview.

You probably need the advice of an immigration lawyer to help you try and separate the emotional responses from immigration questions.

I don't say this to put you down, you've been through a lot and feel stressed out.

Just a dose of reality.

I usually never suggest a lawyer in the majority of cases.

Edited August 30, 2010 by thongd4me

[crazymazy 0]

Those are, to be candid, excuses not likely to hold up in a subsequent interview.

You probably need the advice of an immigration lawyer to help you try and separate the emotional responses from immigration questions.

I don't say this to put you down, you've been through a lot and feel stressed out.

Just a dose of reality.

I usually never suggest a lawyer in the majority of cases.

well IF it comes to this will keep your advisement under my hat