Adjusting to America

[Tuanv 2]

I live in the East and I encountered racial prejudices all the times during middle school. Before middle school, I did not know what racism was but middle school sure opened my eyes. High school was better because my high school was pretty much melting pot for immigrants. I don't think I could go to other school in the city.

Edited December 11, 2010 by Tuanv

[Cybele 0]

My wife is 18.8 years old, so I plan to enroll her to high school for a couple of years when she got here. The reason for high school because her English is very limited. This is my plan for her as far as education goes. I am not sure about work yet but I just want her to focus on school. What about you guys? What did you do or going to do to help your love ones to get adjusted to America?

Interacting with other people who are also newly arrived to the United States and dealing with the same issues such as fear, boredom, depression, homesickness, and the like would be best because she would not be alone and would have someone to discuss things with. Secondly, find your local library or a university library if you are close to one and get a card to borrow items now. Most university libraries have tapes and/or DVDs on different educational topics, learning English, TOEFL testing, driver's education. I know, I work in the media department of a university library and have a list of things my husband may find interesting once he is here. There are also DVDs for different types of jobs, clerical jobs, EMS, you name it and DVDs can be found. If your library does not have such things, you can pay a minimal fee to have them borrow the DVDs from other libraries through Interlibrary Lending or go to a video store such as Hastings and buy them. I think the most important thing is that she is not alone and has some form of support outside of you, her spouse.

My situation will be different with my spouse because English is his native language and although he has an accent, we are much older than most on this visa journey, and used to dealing with different cultures. I am most worried about my husband being bored or lonely while I am away at work, as I was when I was when I lived in his country and considered getting residency there. The first thing we will get is a pet for him to bond with, train, and care for. This may sound infantile, but believe me, having another creature in your care and depending on you is a very good thing. Also, I am luckier than most because I work nights, so he can easily go to work with me if he chooses. One of the issues I will have is having a spouse that is used to traveling in taxis - he hasn't driven in years and has already threatened that I will be chief chauffeur!!

As far as immediate activities to keep him busy for the months before any employment considerations, we are already planning on cultivating acreage that we have just bought and the planning is exciting for both of us while we wait for the time to pass away before approval. We have spent our time searching online for a puppy for him to train, things we can do inexpensively on the days I have off for work, and different things we need for our home. He scans Craigslist and eBay constantly and we discuss what I can buy now versus what he prefers to choose himself once he is here. Naturally we intend to spend time with my closest friends and family so that he can hopefully form his own bonds.

Just some ideas, but hopefully you understand that a certain amount of planning will be necessary on your part. I personally spent 6 months in an apartment alone while my husband worked and it was not the right way to go about the transition. Family members are great, but they cannot be used as confidants and your wife will need someone she can talk freely with. She will need support in the form of friends who can talk to her, understand her plight, and be on call when you are not available. Finally she will need to be kept busy so that homesickness and depression do not set in. Contact with her friends and family will be needed so that she can relate her experiences, her accomplishments, and get their support as well.