June CSC

[SimplyMacy 4]

Cheer up guys! gonna be Ok.. Chill out! . :dance: We are in the same boat. Being here in VJ is a great help too in our journey. Being emotional at times is really tough to handle esp. about the matters of the We have to handle it on our own way. I mean you have to do something where you can pour your heart out. You can express your self in writing, listening to music like love songs that can make you cry (after you have cried, you'll feel better) or you can go out and run. Personally, if i have a small or big argument with my fiance, I'll never stop talking to him until everything is clear. Complete honesty is a must! One thing that we have to avoid is making decision when we are angry. Anger is a very bad thing. It blinds the path of right thinking. Never make decisions or take major action when under the influence of any major emotion - depression, despair, self-doubt, anxiety, you name it. Heres what you can do when you a really very very angry. Go away and do something else, whichever takes your mind away from the situation that is making you angry. Then come back with a fresh view on the matter. And most of the time it helps.

I just want to add something. There's no perfect relationship. There's always ups and downs in Life. Sometimes we just need to dance in the rain and go with the flow. We can't hide from it and we have to face it whether we like it or not. Just never give up..keep on going! As the saying goes there's always light at the end of tunnel. Agree?

[Robert and Amy 1]

WOW! I take 3 or 4 days off of checking VJ and come back and everybody is breaking up . Hang in there the process and distace takes a toll on relationships. This know from expirence. Its hard to sit at home alone on the weekends and watch all your friends going out to enjoy with there BF, GF or spouse but I know the best is on the way for me so I wait.

[SimplyMacy 4]

this January 31st it will be 2 years.and we have seen each other twice,once for last valentines day,for seven days,then in may for ten days

ygr, I only met my fiancee for 12 days within 1.5 years now. I understand how you feel. Others are just lucky that they are able to meet their significant other very often.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Ygr you are right there is a reason to the bitterness and if this constant arguing was addin to the stress of the process it wouldve been easier.

we are having another heart to heart,hopefully for the last time,these things drain your energy

[nandi8 0]

Yes they do i know what you mean. We had one this morning too.. Like i said i hope things keep looking up for us and now for you.

[mishellibelli 1]

Ygr i understand how you feel because right now its the same with my fiance and i and i think we are also on the verge of breaking up. Its like we never say i love you anymore just argue then hang up on each other. And while im breaking my back he is taking out his frustration with hanging with his friends and spending the money he is suppose to be saving. Im getting close to saying im done while he on the other hand says he doesnt care if we stay together or not. Hang in there you guys will probably work it out. You've gone too far to just quit. This coming from someone who thinks about it alot.

ygr and nandi8, I'm so sorry to hear this, I really feel for you guys. We are running into troubles now as well since our case went over processing time (waiting nearly 6 months now) and is stuck in background checks. USCIS says the background checks might possibly take up to another 6 months (if even then...). Everything was ok while we thought there might be at least an end point in sight. Now - who knows??? Maybe never if this doesn't get resolved??

I'm actually going to be seeing him in less than a week. I was holding off on telling him the latest petition information until I got there because he has some big exams coming up and I didn't want him to stress about it. But 2 days ago we got in a huge argument and I completely over-reacted about some things thanks to the stress of the latest situation. I pretty much flew off the handle and broke up with him (I think subconciously I thought it might be easier to never see him again than possibly wait another year or more and STILL possibly never get to be with him again). It was awful - we have never argued. He begged me to still come and try to reconcile things - which I will. But I am beside myself and absolutely sick to my stomach that we are possibly going to have to make a very tough decision.

It's been 13 months since I moved away from Malawi and I only got to see him for one month during that time. This upcoming trip will be after 7 months of not seeing him, and I will only be there for 3 weeks. I would love to just up and move back to Malawi, but that wouldn't be possible for at least another 6-9 months at the earliest. I also can't afford to keep flying back to Africa from the US every 6 months to visit. I really hope we can survive this, it's getting very difficult with no ending point of the distance!

[idaho_and_surigao 3]

YGR, Nandi,

Hang tough guys. Everything happens for a reason. This is a sh$ty process that tests all of us emotionality, physically financially and even spiritualy. The distance is a nightmare. the time apart is a nightmare. The stress of the visa process is a nightmare. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! every couple here goes through rocky points, most make it through the other side, some do not, but remember everything happens for a reason. My Fiancee and I go through it, as matter of fact last night she told me she wasn't really happy about moving to the US...she would prefer to stay in the Philippines. At first I was pissed, but i see her side, and she told me, it didnt matter where we live as long as we where together. I mention this, because it would have been so easy to just get pissed and have a fight over this. Dont sweat the small things. You are important, you are loved, there is a plan for all of us. I truly hope you can work things out, if you cant, after honestly trying and coming to that conclusion...then it was never meant to be! I am thankful for all of your 'virtual' friendship and wish you all the best!

Mishibelli! Awesome, have a safe trip. glad you can make it over. I cant believe Malawi is an easy Contury to get too, Have to fly through Jo-bug? or Nairobi?

[mishellibelli 1]

Mishibelli! Awesome, have a safe trip. glad you can make it over. I cant believe Malawi is an easy Contury to get too, Have to fly through Jo-bug? or Nairobi?

Thanks, I'm hoping we can be strong and keep it together! Malawi is a long trip from the west coast of the states - usually go from San Francisco to Atlanta then allll the way to Johannesburg in one flight, overnight in Jo'burg and onto Malawi the next morning. Usually about 36 hours of traveling from beginning to end. Bleh!

[thelastpetitioner 218]

ygr and nandi8, I'm so sorry to hear this, I really feel for you guys. We are running into troubles now as well since our case went over processing time (waiting nearly 6 months now) and is stuck in background checks. USCIS says the background checks might possibly take up to another 6 months (if even then...). Everything was ok while we thought there might be at least an end point in sight. Now - who knows??? Maybe never if this doesn't get resolved??

I'm actually going to be seeing him in less than a week. I was holding off on telling him the latest petition information until I got there because he has some big exams coming up and I didn't want him to stress about it. But 2 days ago we got in a huge argument and I completely over-reacted about some things thanks to the stress of the latest situation. I pretty much flew off the handle and broke up with him (I think subconciously I thought it might be easier to never see him again than possibly wait another year or more and STILL possibly never get to be with him again). It was awful - we have never argued. He begged me to still come and try to reconcile things - which I will. But I am beside myself and absolutely sick to my stomach that we are possibly going to have to make a very tough decision.

It's been 13 months since I moved away from Malawi and I only got to see him for one month during that time. This upcoming trip will be after 7 months of not seeing him, and I will only be there for 3 weeks. I would love to just up and move back to Malawi, but that wouldn't be possible for at least another 6-9 months at the earliest. I also can't afford to keep flying back to Africa from the US every 6 months to visit. I really hope we can survive this, it's getting very difficult with no ending point of the distance!

im so sorry mishellibelli,i cant say i understand what youre going through,cause so far this process has been smooth for us ( hopefully it will stay that way ) but i honestly can imagine how hard it is.

i really hope things work out for you both visa and relationship wise.

[mishellibelli 1]

im so sorry mishellibelli,i cant say i understand what youre going through,cause so far this process has been smooth for us ( hopefully it will stay that way ) but i honestly can imagine how hard it is.

i really hope things work out for you both visa and relationship wise.

Thanks, hoping the best for you and that things work out for you as well. It really sucks that the waiting in this process drives everyone insane.

[idaho_and_surigao 3]

Thanks, I'm hoping we can be strong and keep it together! Malawi is a long trip from the west coast of the states - usually go from San Francisco to Atlanta then allll the way to Johannesburg in one flight, overnight in Jo'burg and onto Malawi the next morning. Usually about 36 hours of traveling from beginning to end. Bleh!

OMG...36 hours. I will never complain about 17 hours to the PI again! Once upon a time I spent 6 months in Namibia, flew from JFK to Jo'burg and on to Windhoek. The 19 hours straight from JFK to Jo'burg was, bar none, the worst flight I have ever been on, Until the one coming back, we had hellish headwinds, and it was 22 hours. Had to stop in the middle of the night in the Cape Verde Islands to re-fuel....it was hell.

[mishellibelli 1]

OMG...36 hours. I will never complain about 17 hours to the PI again! Once upon a time I spent 6 months in Namibia, flew from JFK to Jo'burg and on to Windhoek. The 19 hours straight from JFK to Jo'burg was, bar none, the worst flight I have ever been on, Until the one coming back, we had hellish headwinds, and it was 22 hours. Had to stop in the middle of the night in the Cape Verde Islands to re-fuel....it was hell.

Ohhh meh gawd, that sounds horrible! Yeah, that Jo'burg flight is NO JOKE!

[sheenaspapi 18]

Try a phone call. Her hearing my voice always makes her feel alot better. I use pingo.com

As far as flight time from the Midwest to PH was 36 hours. Coming back was over 48 hours and 5 flights. I was wooped!!

[nandi8 0]

hey everyone thanks for the supportive words.. things went well today.. no arguments.. we talked alot about what has been going on and we worked somethings out... i wish i can just up and go see him but of course we are trying to save every little that we can and i will be going out there for the interview.. i am hoping that happens very soon.. i spoke to someone at the embassy on friday.. they got our file and sent him packet 3 on wednesday.. so hopefully he gets it by tomorrow and we can keep going forward.. we are trying hard to look at this only because this is the positive thing right now.. hopefully the interview date is next month so that i can see him.. trinidad embassy gives us the date we dont have to call and make it.. thanks again to everyone!

[nandi8 0]

ygr and nandi8, I'm so sorry to hear this, I really feel for you guys. We are running into troubles now as well since our case went over processing time (waiting nearly 6 months now) and is stuck in background checks. USCIS says the background checks might possibly take up to another 6 months (if even then...). Everything was ok while we thought there might be at least an end point in sight. Now - who knows??? Maybe never if this doesn't get resolved??

I'm actually going to be seeing him in less than a week. I was holding off on telling him the latest petition information until I got there because he has some big exams coming up and I didn't want him to stress about it. But 2 days ago we got in a huge argument and I completely over-reacted about some things thanks to the stress of the latest situation. I pretty much flew off the handle and broke up with him (I think subconciously I thought it might be easier to never see him again than possibly wait another year or more and STILL possibly never get to be with him again). It was awful - we have never argued. He begged me to still come and try to reconcile things - which I will. But I am beside myself and absolutely sick to my stomach that we are possibly going to have to make a very tough decision.

It's been 13 months since I moved away from Malawi and I only got to see him for one month during that time. This upcoming trip will be after 7 months of not seeing him, and I will only be there for 3 weeks. I would love to just up and move back to Malawi, but that wouldn't be possible for at least another 6-9 months at the earliest. I also can't afford to keep flying back to Africa from the US every 6 months to visit. I really hope we can survive this, it's getting very difficult with no ending point of the distance!

i really really do hope that you work things out.. i hope so for ygr as well.. we all are going through too much for this visa process just to give up so easily.. i have been fighting for it for a long time and will continue to do so..