June CSC

[thelastpetitioner 218]

Distance, distance ... It is always easier to work things out in person. Just had another argument. Trivial stuff like the upcoming holidays and I won't be there. Stupid TSA invasive pat-downs and the June/July filers' application stall. Stuff like that. I do hope ygr gets it worked out too. We are all nearly there already. Sigh

thanks yamashi.

actually our argument started over things that would happen after we get the second notice of action.our embassy has all appointment dates booked until mid march.thats another four months if things go well with NVC

[yamashitariki 4]

why an additional seven months? what difference would it make?

the strain on the foreign fiance(e) is higher cos we have to give up our life and comfort zone. maybe they don't understand that. my fiancee seems to be lukewarm in that sense of timing too. i find it unbearable! my life is in limbo and every day i am slowly breaking down.

does he know how you feel? and maybe you need a slight breather. the strain could be the one talking.

[yamashitariki 4]

sigh i feel for you ygr. let's not all get emotional and think drastic things. let it be for a few days and sleep on it. then see how you feel about it then. i have waited 2 years until we filed to be sure. it is terrible, but deep down i know she is worth it and i am happy when i am with her.

[nandi8 0]

we have been apart for seven months as well.our main problem is finances too.

he is expecting me to wait seven more months until our interview date to see him and to be honest,seven months apart is unhealthy as it is,let alone 14.i know for a fact that if i dont see him within the next month or two,i will fall apart and along with it our relationship.i have been in pain and misery for the past seven months and the fact that he has the nutsack to tell me he wants me to wait even longer,when he saw what i went through is what making me have doubts

yea well that is the thing too.. he wants to wait a little more so that we can save more so i argued about the fact that he is spending what he said he would save.. but he is going to replace it from the money that he should be spending.. i got so upset with him and asked him if this is how it will be when we get married and he broke down and he said u know this is not how it will be.. you know when i am with u things are a million times better. i mean i know he needs to let some of the frustration out but at the same time be responsible.. and he can be, i just dont know what the hell happened.. and i told him i am not waiting to save more we will just do with what we have because i am saving as well.. so we should be fine.. i told him how we have alot more than what most people start off with.. he said he is just worried that he wouldnt be able to take care of me.. i said we will take care of each other.. just because you are a man (male pride) dont mean you cant have a woman who will help out.. i am going insane as well and i feel the same way that if we dont see each other within the next two months we both will fall even more apart.. you think you can just go out there? i mean i know he is saying no but at the same time if you just buy the ticket and then tell him, he wouldnt be able to tell you not to come then.. and i am sure he will be amazingly happy to see u..

[thelastpetitioner 218]

why an additional seven months? what difference would it make?

the strain on the foreign fiance(e) is higher cos we have to give up our life and comfort zone. maybe they don't understand that. my fiancee seems to be lukewarm in that sense of timing too. i find it unbearable! my life is in limbo and every day i am slowly breaking down.

does he know how you feel? and maybe you need a slight breather. the strain could be the one talking.

he just recently moved to the states,and instead of using his monthly paycheck to get his basic household items,he used our trip fund.we were supposed to go back to malaysia to see each other for our anniversary January 31st,but it all got screwed up.

so if we dont get to see each other for our anniversary,considering our embassy is fully booked for the next four months,we would have to wait up to 6,7 months to see each other again. im very open about my emotions,i also have an anger management problem with him,so,im always honest with him,whether i like it or not i have no other option

[thelastpetitioner 218]

yea well that is the thing too.. he wants to wait a little more so that we can save more so i argued about the fact that he is spending what he said he would save.. but he is going to replace it from the money that he should be spending.. i got so upset with him and asked him if this is how it will be when we get married and he broke down and he said u know this is not how it will be.. you know when i am with u things are a million times better. i mean i know he needs to let some of the frustration out but at the same time be responsible.. and he can be, i just dont know what the hell happened.. and i told him i am not waiting to save more we will just do with what we have because i am saving as well.. so we should be fine.. i told him how we have alot more than what most people start off with.. he said he is just worried that he wouldnt be able to take care of me.. i said we will take care of each other.. just because you are a man (male pride) dont mean you cant have a woman who will help out.. i am going insane as well and i feel the same way that if we dont see each other within the next two months we both will fall even more apart.. you think you can just go out there? i mean i know he is saying no but at the same time if you just buy the ticket and then tell him, he wouldnt be able to tell you not to come then.. and i am sure he will be amazingly happy to see u..

he would disown me if i did that but the fact that he is so cold,and doesnt even consider my emotions makes me think he has other things going on for him,if you know what i mean.

[thelastpetitioner 218]

sigh i feel for you ygr. let's not all get emotional and think drastic things. let it be for a few days and sleep on it. then see how you feel about it then. i have waited 2 years until we filed to be sure. it is terrible, but deep down i know she is worth it and i am happy when i am with her.

well sometimes letting it get cold only makes it worse,its kinda hard to tell.it is worth it,i have willingly given up my entire life,and became a hermit for the sake of our relationship,seeing how my emotions get ignored just,breaks my heart.

[nandi8 0]

he would disown me if i did that but the fact that he is so cold,and doesnt even consider my emotions makes me think he has other things going on for him,if you know what i mean.

:( yea i get what u mean.. you know alot of people ask me if i would ever do this ld thing again.. i said if its with the same person definitely.. but idk if with someone else.. its too hard and i wouldnt recommend it but at the same time when you love someone noone would listen to advice against do it.. my fiance and i have been through the worst of the worst and that includes people saying he was cheating on me and making my family think that he is but they had absolutely no proof and my parents and fam were still on my case about it.. it was really tough, with the things they said and did and having no one to talk to about it.. because i dont want to hurt my fiance with the things they said and couldnt talk to my family because they didnt want to listen to a word i said.. i stayed with him.. and put my foot down.. and now we are still together.. now engaged (back then just bf and gf). we are having our probs.. big time probs but i dont think that we would or could ever give up after all that we have been through.. i really wish that things work out for u hun.. this is not an easy thing to do.. they always say that "god only give you things that you can handle" and i say well god you probably think im as strong as superman (his physical strength = my mental(emotional) strength)...

[thelastpetitioner 218]

god made a huge mistake about me.im woren out and tired

[nandi8 0]

god made a huge mistake about me.im woren out and tired

and constantly depressed!!

[thelastpetitioner 218]

that too.

i feel more calm tho.i have this thing,i get big rushes of emotion,like so bad that i cant even tell what it is that is hurting me,so to deal with that ( those fits are usually towards brandon ) i started writing to him and explaining how i feel in this little black notebook.after writing in that and talking to you guys,i think i can think again

[nandi8 0]

i think that is something that we all need to do.. and something i do as well.. i try to instead of taking it out on him i write down what i feel.. anywhere.. and sometimes i would keep it sometimes i would just throw it away.. when i am happy i do the same thing.. i would read the happy ones to my fiance.. the ones where i am frustrated and just cant take it anymore i dont usually tell him because that would make things worse.. i think i need to write as well.. cuz lately i have been taking it out all on him when he acts up...

btw glad we can help in some way... .

[thelastpetitioner 218]

i think that is something that we all need to do.. and something i do as well.. i try to instead of taking it out on him i write down what i feel.. anywhere.. and sometimes i would keep it sometimes i would just throw it away.. when i am happy i do the same thing.. i would read the happy ones to my fiance.. the ones where i am frustrated and just cant take it anymore i dont usually tell him because that would make things worse.. i think i need to write as well.. cuz lately i have been taking it out all on him when he acts up...

btw glad we can help in some way... .

im planning to keep it all so i can give it to him,maybe it will help with the misunderstanding that stick in our brain for a long time.

i really do hope things work out for all us

[Tanoushka 7]

he just recently moved to the states,and instead of using his monthly paycheck to get his basic household items,he used our trip fund.we were supposed to go back to malaysia to see each other for our anniversary January 31st,but it all got screwed up.

so if we dont get to see each other for our anniversary,considering our embassy is fully booked for the next four months,we would have to wait up to 6,7 months to see each other again. im very open about my emotions,i also have an anger management problem with him,so,im always honest with him,whether i like it or not i have no other option

Oh dear!

I can't believe he used the money that was supposed to be used for your trip together, for the chance to see each other again and for your anniversary on top of this!

I would have been so angry...I understand the argument on this.

I can't see myself wait for 7 months before seeing my darling and like you said it has already been 7 months since the last time you saw each other.

You are really brave

[candn 17]

I am so glad you two (ygr and nandi) are so open about things. Some of us forget about the difficulties some couples face during this process. Your stories let others going through the same thing know they are not alone. I have never had an argument with my fiance and our families are working with us on our wedding so the bond extends beyond the two of us. Then I start reading things like this and it makes me want to cry. If only the process was a little faster then maybe so many hearts would not ache and relationships would be saved. Ygr, please take care of your health and try to control your anger. Things will get better. Nandi, stay strong as well.