"they'll steal it if it isnt tied down"

[Brad and Vika 129]

When Sergey was learning to drive, just a couple weeks ago, a deer ran across in front of him and he didn't react at all. I said "I am glad you did not swerve off the road for the deer, but you CAN try to stop" He said "No, I heard you can EAT them if you kill them. Is it true? I was hoping we would get some deer meat!" I told it him it was not a good way to get deer meat and he said "Why? Does it break the car?"

Show him some deer vs. car pictures from the web Yuck!

I need to get him one of those "Road Kill Cafe" T-shirts. Hmmm...wonder what Alla's reaction to a dead deer we hit with the car would be? It could be that ear piercing scream or it could just be "ah yes, fresh meat, that is the best kind, no hormones or antibiotics"

Deer in Vermont must be healthier than those around here.

[slim 1,514]

She asked once "what is wrong with this place, there is animals everywhere, can't they keep them in the fence?"

My wife was really surprised at the amount of roadkill here and animals everywhere. "Why govt. not clean up these dead animals? They must pick up. So nasty!"

I got the same sort of comments about critters like ducks at first. Vika would say things like "why are there so many ducks in this park? Don't the homeless people eat them?". The east end of the city has no homeless population at all. Her reasoning that the wild duck supply should draw the homeless here still makes me laugh.

Yep. My wife asked the first 20 times we went to the park, "why we not take duck to eat? In Russia it's never going to be ducks in park. Somebody gonna eat."

it was not a good way to get deer meat and he said "Why? Does it break the car?"

He is studying physics, right?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My wife was really surprised at the amount of roadkill here and animals everywhere. "Why govt. not clean up these dead animals? They must pick up. So nasty!"

Yep. My wife asked the first 20 times we went to the park, "why we not take duck to eat? In Russia it's never going to be ducks in park. Somebody gonna eat."

He is studying physics, right?

I always get a kick out of how you relate your wife speaking. I can just hear it.

We have an abundance of wild turkeys here, you see many flocks of them every day and it is often that you find them crossing the road. Alla still hasn't figured out why ANYONE buys a turkey in the store and who could make any money "growing turkeys"

Yes, he is studying physics so he was able to catch on right away that there may be damage to the car (he learned THAT in college) but he just isn't sure of the strength of a car. How much to takes to bend the sheet metal is a mystery.

[baron555 934]

I always get a kick out of how you relate your wife speaking. I can just hear it.

We have an abundance of wild turkeys here, you see many flocks of them every day and it is often that you find them crossing the road. Alla still hasn't figured out why ANYONE buys a turkey in the store and who could make any money "growing turkeys"

Yes, he is studying physics so he was able to catch on right away that there may be damage to the car (he learned THAT in college) but he just isn't sure of the strength of a car. How much to takes to bend the sheet metal is a mystery.

Take him to a demolition derby.

[slim 1,514]

I always get a kick out of how you relate your wife speaking. I can just hear it.

I keep thinking she'll stop talking like that... but no. "I will be talk how I want because, anyway, everybody gonna listen to me because I am strong, indepensive Russian woman who so gorgeous and everybody wish for me make for them privilege to speak whis me. It's true. You can so easy see."

I, on the other hand, have gotten a whole lot better at "listening."

We have an abundance of wild turkeys here

I shot a big deer shortly before my wife's arrival and she thought it was the best thing ever. "We have all this meet and for free from natural." About a month after cooking nothing but deer, she vowed to never have deer again. And we haven't. (Not because of that... I've just been busy. But, I bet if I were to get one, it would only last about a month again.)

he just isn't sure of the strength of a car. How much to takes to bend the sheet metal is a mystery.

That's why God invented NASCAR!

Take him to a demolition derby.

That'll work too. But be careful, he may just want to drive in one after that!

[Tnic 5]

Well thanks for the morning belly laugh guys. I had forgotten about the um, "Trappers" in the parks when I was in Yoshkar Ola.

My ex girl, Irina was the Russian version of Ellie May Clampett. The last place we lived she had three raccoons coming up on the back porch eating old kolbasa nearly out of her hands. And a couple skunks and half the stray cats in the area.

She used to drive me nuts in the car. I'd about to pull out into traffic or cross an intersection when GAAAASSSSP, CAAAAAARRRRREFUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL! I'm spinning my head, no cars coming, no idiots, er, people stepping out in front of us. It would be a pigeon or a squirrel that of course had already disappeared.

Lubs, always thought it was cute.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well thanks for the morning belly laugh guys. I had forgotten about the um, "Trappers" in the parks when I was in Yoshkar Ola.

My ex girl, Irina was the Russian version of Ellie May Clampett. The last place we lived she had three raccoons coming up on the back porch eating old kolbasa nearly out of her hands. And a couple skunks and half the stray cats in the area.

She used to drive me nuts in the car. I'd about to pull out into traffic or cross an intersection when GAAAASSSSP, CAAAAAARRRRREFUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL! I'm spinning my head, no cars coming, no idiots, er, people stepping out in front of us. It would be a pigeon or a squirrel that of course had already disappeared.

Lubs, always thought it was cute.

Russian Ellie May??? Kinda like Ellie May but hotter and with high heels and a Russian accent. Oh, yeah, I'm down for that!!!! How DID we ever win the cold war? That still has me puzzled, and worried...maybe we really didn't.

Alla is more like Eva Gabor on Green Acres!

Alla stopped one time in the middle of the road. I had been looking out the side window. "Why are we stopping?" Look...stupid animal is in the road! There was a squirrel in the middle of the street. The squirrel was laughing at us.

No way. If we had three raccoons, that would be it...Alla would insist we move immediately. Raccoons are "too big and mean and dangerous" I related the story seriously. In our old house I had to sleep toward the window and she slept "behind me". I swear, she was serious, she was going to escape down the stairs after pushing me into the jaws and claws of a bear! She was sure the local black bears would climb in our 2nd floor bedroom window and EAT us!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I keep thinking she'll stop talking like that... but no. "I will be talk how I want because, anyway, everybody gonna listen to me because I am strong, indepensive Russian woman who so gorgeous and everybody wish for me make for them privilege to speak whis me. It's true. You can so easy see."

I, on the other hand, have gotten a whole lot better at "listening."

I shot a big deer shortly before my wife's arrival and she thought it was the best thing ever. "We have all this meet and for free from natural." About a month after cooking nothing but deer, she vowed to never have deer again. And we haven't. (Not because of that... I've just been busy. But, I bet if I were to get one, it would only last about a month again.)

That's why God invented NASCAR!

That'll work too. But be careful, he may just want to drive in one after that!

Too funny Slim. Alla has gotten so good in speaking English, though with a heavy accent, she just doesn't make the charming errors she used to. For a while she was saying a person who dependeded on another was "dependable" and an independent person was "undependable"

[Tnic 5]

Russian Ellie May??? Kinda like Ellie May but hotter and with high heels and a Russian accent. Oh, yeah, I'm down for that!!!! How DID we ever win the cold war? That still has me puzzled, and worried...maybe we really didn't.

Alla is more like Eva Gabor on Green Acres!

Alla stopped one time in the middle of the road. I had been looking out the side window. "Why are we stopping?" Look...stupid animal is in the road! There was a squirrel in the middle of the street. The squirrel was laughing at us.

No way. If we had three raccoons, that would be it...Alla would insist we move immediately. Raccoons are "too big and mean and dangerous" I related the story seriously. In our old house I had to sleep toward the window and she slept "behind me". I swear, she was serious, she was going to escape down the stairs after pushing me into the jaws and claws of a bear! She was sure the local black bears would climb in our 2nd floor bedroom window and EAT us!

I'd have to say Yes, Irina is way hotter than Ellie May. If we had been allowed behind "The Curtain" no way did we win. They woulda netted us in like smelts. Irina's the short one standing with her daughter Olga.

[slim 1,514]

Look...stupid animal is in the road! There was a squirrel in the middle of the street. The squirrel was laughing at us.

My wife had me stop while we were on vacation so she could get out and look at a dead animal she'd never seen before - an armadillo. The funny thing is, we'd just finished dinner and she was all dolled up in her nice dress and long heels. I could only imagine what people driving by were thinking as this super glamorous woman knelt down to look at roadkill.

she just doesn't make the charming errors she used to.

I think my wife does it on purpose. I know she can speak English just fine. Hell, she can speak Korean, Japanese and a little Chinese too but I think she lays it on extra thick just to get a rise out of people. I think she enjoys the attention.

I know when I try to speak a foreign language I do my best to nail the accent right away. Then again... I don't want any attention!

If we had been allowed behind "The Curtain" no way did we win.

When I went to Korea in '99 they'd just started importing Russian women to work in the clubs. We almost lost our minds! Had they done that about 30 years before, there's no tellin which way the cold war would've ended up. Heck, we'd probably be one big nation by now!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My wife had me stop while we were on vacation so she could get out and look at a dead animal she'd never seen before - an armadillo. The funny thing is, we'd just finished dinner and she was all dolled up in her nice dress and long heels. I could only imagine what people driving by were thinking as this super glamorous woman knelt down to look at roadkill.

I think my wife does it on purpose. I know she can speak English just fine. Hell, she can speak Korean, Japanese and a little Chinese too but I think she lays it on extra thick just to get a rise out of people. I think she enjoys the attention.

I know when I try to speak a foreign language I do my best to nail the accent right away. Then again... I don't want any attention!

When I went to Korea in '99 they'd just started importing Russian women to work in the clubs. We almost lost our minds! Had they done that about 30 years before, there's no tellin which way the cold war would've ended up. Heck, we'd probably be one big nation by now!

Since Alla is learning to teach English, she has to speak it perfectly, and she tries real hard. She even has a bit of a British sounding accent when she pronounces some words in an effort to not have a Russian accent.

But we still have our fun because they do not teach her idioms, slang and bad words. She hears the bad words from other students. She never uses words until she checks it out first. Yesterday she asked me..."So can I say bullsh*t to someone?" (this is how the conversation starts) "Hmmm, well, if you know them well, they are your friends or to me...yes" "is it a rude word" Yes. "So what is a not rude word for bullsh*t?" Hmmm. "Baloney. What a bunch of baloney" No, I need a sophisticated word for bullsh*t, I do not think Baloney is a sophisticated word. Hmmm. "Preposterous" So then she goes around the house repeating Pre-pos-ter-ous over and over. Using it in sentences. "Are you ready to go to bed yet, sweetheart?" That's Preposterous!

[belarus1 0]

Svetlana gets so frustrated at her English although I think it is really very good. I must admit that I have gotten so good at listening to "Russian English" that I dont even hear the little mistakes etc... Hell, I have even found myself picking up some of the lingo by accident.

And as to some of the previous posts about driving, oh my, dont get me started. At first it was quite the terrifying experience but now she is starting to get the hang of it although she still has trouble maintaining a safe distance to the car in front and does some pretty abrupt lane changes when we are on the interstate. Needless to say Im always a little on edge when she is driving

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Svetlana gets so frustrated at her English although I think it is really very good. I must admit that I have gotten so good at listening to "Russian English" that I dont even hear the little mistakes etc... Hell, I have even found myself picking up some of the lingo by accident.

And as to some of the previous posts about driving, oh my, dont get me started. At first it was quite the terrifying experience but now she is starting to get the hang of it although she still has trouble maintaining a safe distance to the car in front and does some pretty abrupt lane changes when we are on the interstate. Needless to say Im always a little on edge when she is driving

She used to scold me for not correcting her English, now she really doesn't make so many mistakes. I think, truly, we get used to the way they speak and it just goes right over our head. She talked to one of her friends in Ukraine today. Whenever she does this I just want to say "You want to tell me how wonderful it is there...again" Her friend was complaining because she had to push her baby carriage for about 3 kilometers on cobblestones and her husband didn't help her (they were going to a birthday party, they wanted the baby carriage along and it couldn't go on the bus. So then she is telling me how she is surprised that her friend's husband doesn't help. yada, yada. I said "Do you think that is bullsh*t?" She said "No, I think it is preposterous" And I told her "you have got to be pulling my leg" To which her friend replied VoooooooWHAT!? (actually SsssssssCHTO????!!!!!!!) My guess is, that phrase does not translate well.

Teaching a RUB woman to drive could be a great terror/comedy movie. They really should have worked it into "Borat" somehow. I keep telling Alla I am going to get one of those warning signs they sell in Ukraine to put in the car windows with the symbol of a woman's high heel shoe. "Caution...woman driver"

I had trouble with abrupt lane changes with the boys also...what's up with that? "OK, Sergey , now I want you to move the left LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE! ####### WAS THAT???????????????????? And WHY did you do it??????"

Edited August 31, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Teaching a RUB woman to drive could be a great terror/comedy movie. They really should have worked it into "Borat" somehow. I keep telling Alla I am going to get one of those warning signs they sell in Ukraine to put in the car windows with the symbol of a woman's high heel shoe. "Caution...woman driver"

I had trouble with abrupt lane changes with the boys also...what's up with that? "OK, Sergey , now I want you to move the left LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE! ####### WAS THAT???????????????????? And WHY did you do it??????"

[slim 1,514]

I have even found myself picking up some of the lingo by accident.

I speak horrible English with my wife.