I want to Divorce my Husband & back to Phils.

[greeny7 0]

I'm not here to make you feel worse (F) ....and i really do RESPECT what your feelings are and understand what you are going through right now...we may be different in our outlooks and values in life but i do really understand you

I HONESTLY wish you good life and happy marriage And with due respect to you, i will include you in my prayers. I know it hurts and the pains are not easy to deal with. I wish you'll be able to save your marriage and really, as a fellow-filipina i hope that God will heal your hurts and guide you on the path that you are taking. Keep praying! God bless!

[envy_me 18]

pls dnt get me wrong with this.. but are you working?

if not, why arent u working or why dont you work so u can solve that money issue?

if yes, why dont you use your own money to call pinas or provide your own ticket if you really wanna go home for christmas?

the way i see it, it's a very petty for reason to divorce your husband..

remember when you married him, you were asked if you wanna be with him for better or for worse..

kung problem eh wala ka pang papel, marami ako kilala dito, kumakayod khet walang papel para matustusan yung needs nila..

im not saying do the same thing, im just saying madaming paraan kung gusto mo talagang nde kyo magkaconflict ng asawa mo..

.

Edited August 18, 2010 by envy_me

[luckytxn 2,264]

couldnt have said it better myself.

men like this are very rare! a man who will take care of a child (even after they are grown) who is not his own blood is someone to be valued, not put down. you should be thankful you have such a man, knowing he takes care of his responsibilities ... some men do not even look after their own blood children!

i feel so bad for this man hopefully she does not color his perception of all women and hopefully he finds a good one some day...

Exactly and I feel for this man. I have seen this before though and some woman are very selfish and want anything in the past of their new bankroll to disappear so they can have it all themselves. This is a control issue. If this selfish misguided woman would actually think she would realize that he will be awesome dad to her 4 year old and forever even if something were to happen to her. My thoughts and prayers are with this man and I hope he finds someone truly worthy in the future.

[envy_me 18]

i dont understand why u guys dint talk about this before you got married..

dint he tell u that he is still supporting the his stepdaughter?

dint u guys talk about what the situation will be after marriage? financially, etc, etc?

.

Edited August 18, 2010 by envy_me

[marklovetina 52]

Hello VJ's

I need somes advise :

I arrived here in US using K1 & my son K2 ( 4yr.old ) last Feb.2010 & married last April 2010 of US citizen ( Amerkano )

My husband have live in partner died 2005.

Were always arguing for somes reason and im so tired of that .

Because :

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

- not fair...

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

u were husband and wife what he owns is urs too... just give him respect and value the money he is earning...

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

if i am in your shoes my answer is a big NO.. and in my case honey knows me.. i dont take no for an answer... (kukulitin ko kc sya )..

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

how come he didnt know if he is paying for the girl's car insurance?

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

if many times- its called HABITUAL LYING...

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

just wondering why ur husband cant open it all to u....???? coz for me there's no problem if he pays for her tuition fee,maybe he promised it to her died live-in partner before she died.. that she will help her daughter to finish her schooling... she is there before u got in to his life...

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

did u clear this to him.. why not mention to him his previous statement..? so the issue will be clear to u and him...

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

why not tell him... try to talk to him... COMMUNICATION is very important.... try to tell him what u feel, do ur best to make him understand u...

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

sigh.....

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

how did u tell him...? in what way..? did u explain to him what u feel about her stuff?

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

uhmmm maybe he has no budget yet for ur AOS... lots of $$$ adjustment of 2 right?

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

why not tell him u are his wife and u love to be a part of all his plan.. wife and husband are partner in all aspect...

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

sigh.. yeah but wait until u got ur GC...

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

ur family... u dont have fam their in USA? any relative..?

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

if u report ur marriage here...

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

??? no... just wait for ur GC... and you will not have problem if u come here that u are already divorce...

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

YES of course. coz u know like other posters above said marriage takes time to adjust.. you and ur hubby... just always pray to God and Mama Mary.. and try to give respect, lots of love, trust,good communication and honesty to one another... and u will be fine... just hang in there kiddy... if u both did to save ur marriage and still it didnt work then that's the time for u both to move on with ur own lives.... good luck!!!

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

Edited August 18, 2010 by godsgift

[Prawninator 138]

Hmmm... from what I see, I guess it *can* seem unfair to the OP. However, the OP's husband has probably raised his partner's daughter up like his own (I did not know the couple personally, just observing), so essentially, she IS his step-daughter. MAYBE he made a promise to his dying partner that he will give his step-daughter a comfortable life? From personal experience, a person doesn't need to be blood or marriage-related to you to be just like family.

But what I don't understand is this; is the OP complaining that he takes care of his first step-daughter more than he takes care of the OP and his new step-son?

Not accusing, just want clarification.

[Kuting 0]

If I may butt in, to the OP sorry to hear about your situation if you do not understand the things between your husband and his late partner daughter. Correct me if am wrong, I think you are jealous of the attention, love and care he is giving to his step-daughter. If you want him to just leave the step daughter alone and do not support him, why don't you try to think about his step son from you too? What is your son is in the "girl's" situation now, you want your husband to just dump your son? I think the answer is NO. You do not know what was your hubby and his ex-partner life like when they are together. They may have a very tight promises to each other, who knows if your husband was the beneficiary to her insurance and likes and that your hubby is just doing the right thing for his step daughter.

If I were you, I will try to save the marriage, It is very early for you to think about divorcing your husband, go back home and think about possible future petitioner or going back to the US. Why not think about saving the marriage first before jumping to those conclusions? Sometimes, it is a matter of how you talk to the person (it may sound nagging to him), dont push away your husband but do things to get him closer to you. The step daughter came in his life before you and your son so better accept it. Accept the step daughter as the more you push the step daughter away the more you are pushing your husband away too.

Try to love the step daughter and treat her good, let her in your family and you will see, your husband will love you more and your son. Just my opinion.

[Kuting 0]

yeah i understand but not too much that he control if im using the telephone & his cellphone that his paying dollar but the bill of his stepdaughter he pay and i dont have can say coz its his own money....

whats for your his wife but no rights for everything in his house

lucky for her he got help from my husband instead to his own father....

Girl, the telephone/cellphone plan might be under your hubby's plan, meaning he is liable to pay the bills simply because it's under his plan. You will understand that when you get to work, pay bills, credit cards and utilities. Then you you do not want to have late payment to take care of your credit standing. That is how it works here in the US. Be proud of your husband because if that happen to you, your child is in good hands. Try to iron things out and everything will be fine. Adjustment lang yan.

[Heart-Broken 1]

pls dnt get me wrong with this.. but are you working?

if not, why arent u working or why dont you work so u can solve that money issue?

if yes, why dont you use your own money to call pinas or provide your own ticket if you really wanna go home for christmas?

the way i see it, it's a very petty for reason to divorce your husband..

remember when you married him, you were asked if you wanna be with him for better or for worse..

kung problem eh wala ka pang papel, marami ako kilala dito, kumakayod khet walang papel para matustusan yung needs nila..

im not saying do the same thing, im just saying madaming paraan kung gusto mo talagang nde kyo magkaconflict ng asawa mo..

.

tnx sa time....i dont have work yet

coz we dont have yet process the papers

he dont want im working coz he dont want i botherd him to hatid sundo

and he dont want teach me also how to drive

yeah its easy to say divorce specialy if your tired & always understand him but he never understand me

its not a problem w/me about money

its all about that makikipag away na sia sakin maipagtangol lng ang stepdaughter nia

his complaining about the telephone & cellphone bill but it doesnt matter w/him how much he pay for the step daughter cellphone bill...

and what about his paying for the girl car insurance or anything he pay for the stepdaughter that never telling me

i dont have rights to complain coz its not my money?

but what use that im his wife? as an entertainer only ?

just to clean the house, iron the clothes, prepare his meals,

if about personal matters he dont want to share w/me ?

[Atencio 43]

I don't see any problems in the things your husbnad is doing for the girl

I think though it would be nice if he could sit down with you and explain what he is doing with the money.

I think you need to cut him some slack and be supportive of his actions.

It would be nice if you both could be honest with the situation, feelings and try to salvage your relationship.

Best of luck.

[Heart-Broken 1]

If I may butt in, to the OP sorry to hear about your situation if you do not understand the things between your husband and his late partner daughter. Correct me if am wrong, I think you are jealous of the attention, love and care he is giving to his step-daughter. If you want him to just leave the step daughter alone and do not support him, why don't you try to think about his step son from you too? What is your son is in the "girl's" situation now, you want your husband to just dump your son? I think the answer is NO. You do not know what was your hubby and his ex-partner life like when they are together. They may have a very tight promises to each other, who knows if your husband was the beneficiary to her insurance and likes and that your hubby is just doing the right thing for his step daughter.

If I were you, I will try to save the marriage, It is very early for you to think about divorcing your husband, go back home and think about possible future petitioner or going back to the US. Why not think about saving the marriage first before jumping to those conclusions? Sometimes, it is a matter of how you talk to the person (it may sound nagging to him), dont push away your husband but do things to get him closer to you. The step daughter came in his life before you and your son so better accept it. Accept the step daughter as the more you push the step daughter away the more you are pushing your husband away too.

Try to love the step daughter and treat her good, let her in your family and you will see, your husband will love you more and your son. Just my opinion.

try to save the marriage even your husband not try to save our marriage too?

why ? its obviously the stepdaughter is important than me ( his wife )

yelling your wife just to defend the stepdaughter if im complaining about somes matter?

kung ikaw ang stepdaughter kelangan mopa ba makisiksik sa stepfather mo kahit you have own father & aunt, uncle, kapatid ?

imagine 5yrs ago died her mother but until now she got anything from my husband....

wala siang paki ano ang iisipin ko sa kanya ang importante makatanggap parin sia ng kung ano2 sa husband ko?

kasi alam mo na magbibigay sia sayo?

im very sorry if this my feelings but its so hard for me....

i try to understand him but he never consider my feelings

dko naman sinabi na stop na sia magbibigay sa bata but for me too much na since her mother died until now she got anything....

instead to his own family....

d nia lang alam kung gaano kadami binabayaran ng husband ko tapos dagdagan pa nia

dapat volunter nalang sia, na sia nalang magbabayad sa kung ano2...

asawa ko nagpaaral sa kanya last 2009 , paying for the parking lot during her OJT, giving her gasoline, giving her allowance ,

buying her stuff from school, except sa d sinabi ng husband ko sakin.....

getting xmas cash,bday, etc. occasion

din when it comes to me he complain ?

is that fair? he dont have complain to spent his money to her....

you can be a benificiary even your not married?

y my husband a benificiary of his xgf that she have daughter & son....

[Utha 10]

Hello VJ's

I need somes advise :

I arrived here in US using K1 & my son K2 ( 4yr.old ) last Feb.2010 & married last April 2010 of US citizen ( Amerkano )

My husband have live in partner died 2005.

Were always arguing for somes reason and im so tired of that .

Because :

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

I am sorry for your bad situation. I hope you would feel better when you read my story. I dont have any kid and my fiance has 5 kids and their moms still alive and i don't mind to take care of them. I even support him to raise them with us. I even refuse him to treat me superior than the kids. Now, i feel that i have to get there soon since i know there will be 5 kids who will need a mom especially the younger ones.

I think you better talk about your issue to your husband and discuss about it with him.

Wish best.

[Heart-Broken 1]

i dont understand why u guys dint talk about this before you got married..

dint he tell u that he is still supporting the his stepdaughter?

dint u guys talk about what the situation will be after marriage? financially, etc, etc?

.

not.....his not telling me that he still supporting the 24yr.old girl

his not telling me that his paying somes her bill

his not talkative to me..or anything to be open w/me

i only found out that he buy a car for the girl jan.2010 using his dad money but he refuse to spent xmas 2009 w/me in phils.

when i arrived here feb. 2010 he say that he dont have money at bank coz he buy a car for the girl ( whats truth )

not upset w/u? he refuse to come phils coz his reason expensive the tickets but he afford to buy a car?

[Heart-Broken 1]

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

- not fair...

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

u were husband and wife what he owns is urs too... just give him respect and value the money he is earning...

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

if i am in your shoes my answer is a big NO.. and in my case honey knows me.. i dont take no for an answer... (kukulitin ko kc sya )..

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

how come he didnt know if he is paying for the girl's car insurance? = i dont know why his not telling me maybe he scared i complain that he pay a lot for this girl instead his own family to pay her bill...

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

if many times- its called HABITUAL LYING...

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

just wondering why ur husband cant open it all to u....???? coz for me there's no problem if he pays for her tuition fee,maybe he promised it to her died live-in partner before she died.. that she will help her daughter to finish her schooling... she is there before u got in to his life.. = no..she have now live in partner also but she have 1daughter to previous bf ....

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

did u clear this to him.. why not mention to him his previous statement..? so the issue will be clear to u and him... = his angry if kukulitin ko sia....so im silent nalang

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

why not tell him... try to talk to him... COMMUNICATION is very important.... try to tell him what u feel, do ur best to make him understand u...= he dont want listen w/me coz he say that the girl need new car coz her car is broke rather than to spent xmas w/me ....wow ignoring me xmas togethere the important to give all the needs of the girl ? until now hard to forget in my mind what he did to me...coz why he complain about xpensive tikets but afford the car

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

sigh.....

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

how did u tell him...? in what way..? did u explain to him what u feel about her stuff? = yes i xplain w/him that hurt for me stuff of x relation still he can see very often....

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

uhmmm maybe he has no budget yet for ur AOS... lots of $$$ adjustment of 2 right?

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

why not tell him u are his wife and u love to be a part of all his plan.. wife and husband are partner in all aspect...= not me

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

sigh.. yeah but wait until u got ur GC...

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

ur family... u dont have fam their in USA? any relative..? = i dont have any relatives here

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

if u report ur marriage here...

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

??? no... just wait for ur GC... and you will not have problem if u come here that u are already divorce...

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

YES of course. coz u know like other posters above said marriage takes time to adjust.. you and ur hubby... just always pray to God and Mama Mary.. and try to give respect, lots of love, trust,good communication and honesty to one another... and u will be fine... just hang in there kiddy... if u both did to save ur marriage and still it didnt work then that's the time for u both to move on with ur own lives.... good luck!!!

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

[Heart-Broken 1]

I don't see any problems in the things your husbnad is doing for the girl = yes leing w/me for her seek & not complaining how much her bill but my husband complaining how much the bill in our house.

I think though it would be nice if he could sit down with you and explain what he is doing with the money.= he dont want to xplain w/me anything coz its not my business thats what he say ? not hurt for you ? you dont have rights to ask anything coz its not oyur business?

I think you need to cut him some slack and be supportive of his actions. = support his actions to complain about me & its not mu business how much he spent money to anyone ?

It would be nice if you both could be honest with the situation, feelings and try to salvage your relationship.= he knows my feelings & saw me crying infront of him that i realy hurt but he dont want to discuss & ignoring me ....how to resolve that ?

Best of luck.