I want to Divorce my Husband & back to Phils.

[Heart-Broken 1]

Hello VJ's

I need somes advise :

I arrived here in US using K1 & my son K2 ( 4yr.old ) last Feb.2010 & married last April 2010 of US citizen ( Amerkano )

My husband have live in partner died 2005.

Were always arguing for somes reason and im so tired of that .

Because :

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

[Heart-Broken 1]

Hello VJ's

I need somes advise :

I arrived here in US using K1 & my son K2 ( 4yr.old ) last Feb.2010 & married last April 2010 of US citizen ( Amerkano )

My husband have live in partner died 2005.

Were always arguing for somes reason and im so tired of that .

Because :

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl. = step daughter not living with us ...shes is 24yrs.old

[charlie&pam 1]

Wow!!!sorry to here about your stor sis...it is really had to deal with that situation...I am upset also with my hubby ex wife using him with his kids.He still supporting his ex also as there custody here,since the kids still young their mom still can get money for my hubby....hayss...Hirap ng ganun dito noh..kakainis b....evry time nga n mkita ko ex nya inis me eh..pero ok lng atlest mahal ako ng asawa k now...hehe...GODBLESS sis....

P.S

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

ang alam ko sis hindi...dito lng yan s us.....

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

You realize that if you file for divorce then you will also have to file for annulment in the Philippines because they won't recognize a divorce initiated by you.

If your husband files for divorce then once back in the Philippines you just need to file to get your foreign divorce recognized.

Regarding being able to return, you are technically overstaying your Visa right now. Once you've overstayed by 180 days you will have a 3 year re-entry ban, more than 1 year and it's a 10 year ban.

Now if you file for divorce, your attorney can get the judge to order your husband to pay your legal expenses and you can ask the judge to order him to pay for your return to the Philippines (including your son). You might be able to get him ordered to give you the amount it is expected to cost you to file for the annulment back home. Of course this will take time and you're looking at triggering the re-entry ban based on how long until you can leave the US.

If you want to try to save the marriage then you need to understand some things:

1. He isn't over his former "partner" and may never get over her.

2. You can't push "the girl" out of his life without him resenting you.

3. He isn't treating you like a partner.

4. Marriage/couples counseling may help but both of you need to be willing.

5. You are in a bad situation being "out of status", you can't work legally and are deport-able.

So if you want to save the marriage you will have to deal with all of these issues.

[Heart-Broken 1]

Wow!!!sorry to here about your stor sis...it is really had to deal with that situation...I am upset also with my hubby ex wife using him with his kids.He still supporting his ex also as there custody here,since the kids still young their mom still can get money for my hubby....hayss...Hirap ng ganun dito noh..kakainis b....evry time nga n mkita ko ex nya inis me eh..pero ok lng atlest mahal ako ng asawa k now...hehe...GODBLESS sis....

P.S

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

ang alam ko sis hindi...dito lng yan s us.....

Hi Charlie& Pam

Tnx sa reply..

Yeah its so hard to deal his step daughter coz i cant deny naiirita ako sa kanya

Coz even her mother died 5yrs ago now but she still got anything of my husband.

Maybe somes call me as greedy but i cant deny to myself that i cant accept her being a part of me

I feel that she use my husband too much coz cant say NO if she need help or else my husband voluntarily give her even she didnt ask .

Coz for me dapat don sia sa pamilya nia makisawsaw d sa step father nia lang.

Ano ba masasabi mo sa kanya db? Manggagamit at naki ride sa panahon.

Hard to accept w/me that she still in my husband life.

Specialy na ipagtangol sia kahit mag away na kami at ok lng dko sia imikan basta ipaglaban nia ang babae

Its insulted to my part that im his wife but he can take to fight w/me for the seek of the girl

She got a lot of my husband since before until now.

In my part why she cant get away of my husband life?

Why american women here dont think if they are making sense to ask something from there step family?

Imagine my husband spent money for her school instead of his own father still alive now?

She got car instead that money used my husband to fly phils w/me for xmas.

Thats why i cant control my self being angry with her.

[Heart-Broken 1]

You realize that if you file for divorce then you will also have to file for annulment in the Philippines because they won't recognize a divorce initiated by you.

If your husband files for divorce then once back in the Philippines you just need to file to get your foreign divorce recognized.

Regarding being able to return, you are technically overstaying your Visa right now. Once you've overstayed by 180 days you will have a 3 year re-entry ban, more than 1 year and it's a 10 year ban. = WHY IM OVERSTAYING FOR 180 DAYS ? IM LEGALY WIFE OF US.CITIZNES NOW

Now if you file for divorce, your attorney can get the judge to order your husband to pay your legal expenses and you can ask the judge to order him to pay for your return to the Philippines (including your son). You might be able to get him ordered to give you the amount it is expected to cost you to file for the annulment back home. Of course this will take time and you're looking at triggering the re-entry ban based on how long until you can leave the US.

If you want to try to save the marriage then you need to understand some things:

1. He isn't over his former "partner" and may never get over her.

2. You can't push "the girl" out of his life without him resenting you.

3. He isn't treating you like a partner.

4. Marriage/couples counseling may help but both of you need to be willing.

5. You are in a bad situation being "out of status", you can't work legally and are deport-able.

So if you want to save the marriage you will have to deal with all of these issues.

Hello Bob 4Anna

Why im overstaying for 180 days ?

I got married last April 2010

Our marriage is not legal its because im not yet process the AOS ?

In my own feelings i dont know if he treat me like a partner coz

He dont tell me anything his plan, what he doing , he dont want to tell me his financial status, whoelse spent his money, i dont have rights to know or asking anything coz he get mad if i have lots of investigation even im his wife now?

I want to know my husband very well coz im his wife now.

Im not other person in his life im his partner.

[Ann Marie and Leo 9]

In reading your story, you should be ashamed of yourself, and just go home. You mention that you husband sponsored “your” 4 year old son via the K2 process, but you seemed to have this major problem that he still takes car of his deceased ex's, child. That seems very cold and selfish to me.

It seems most of his so called “lies” are related to his trying to help the step daughter, and you seem to be very upset that he does, so I guess he thinks he needs to hide those details from you.

If I was your husband, under the same situation, I would tell you that is what I am doing, and that would be the end of the subject, maybe he has not bought you a ticket home yet, because he hopes you will grow up someday, and realize how childish your being. Maybe he has not process you AOS yet, is because why throw more money at a possible losing situation.

They say there is always two sides to every story, but in your case you seemed to be telling both sides very well, and you should be ashamed of your self, for not understanding his situation.

[sunandmoon 450]

Our marriage is not legal its because im not yet process the AOS ?

your marriage is legal, but you are now out of status. when you arrived in Feb, you were given a I-94 which expired after 90 days. you've fullfilled the requirement of your

K-1 Visa by marrying within 90 days, but now you need to adjust status.

it's unfortunate you have alot of issues to deal with right now, but you will be out of status until you file for AOS.

Edited August 17, 2010 by sunandmoon

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

your marriage is legal, but you are now out of status. when you arrived in Feb, you were given a I-94 which expired after 90 days. you've fullfilled the requirement of your

K-1 Visa by marrying within 90 days, but now you need to adjust status.

it's unfortunate you have alot of issues to deal with right now, but you will be out of status until you file for AOS.

Exactly, you have been out-of-status since the expiration date on your I-94, once you've overstayed 180 days you will have a 3 year re-entry ban. If the overstay gets to 1 year then the ban is 10 years.

[Heart-Broken 1]

your marriage is legal, but you are now out of status. when you arrived in Feb, you were given a I-94 which expired after 90 days. you've fullfilled the requirement of your

K-1 Visa by marrying within 90 days, but now you need to adjust status.

it's unfortunate you have alot of issues to deal with right now, but you will be out of status until you file for AOS.

oh i dont know that

i thought my status here is ok & my son coz were married b4 the 90days xpired

but the papers now is ready except the I-864

so we get trouble this if ever we send our papers coz my I-194 was xpired on May 3, 2010 ?

tnx very much for sharing ideas ....

i realy appreciate

Exactly, you have been out-of-status since the expiration date on your I-94, once you've overstayed 180 days you will have a 3 year re-entry ban. If the overstay gets to 1 year then the ban is 10 years.

means my son & me 50 50 now here ?

theres a possible one of this days im deported ?

tnx very much for the ideas

[sunandmoon 450]

oh i dont know that

i thought my status here is ok & my son coz were married b4 the 90days xpired

but the papers now is ready except the I-864

so we get trouble this if ever we send our papers coz my I-194 was xpired on May 3, 2010 ?

tnx very much for sharing ideas ....

i realy appreciate

means my son & me 50 50 now here ?

theres a possible one of this days im deported ?

tnx very much for the ideas

you should be ok, but it's best to file the I-485's for you and your son as soon as possible. once you file and the applications are accepted by USCIS, you and your son's status will be pending while the applications are being processed.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

oh i dont know that

i thought my status here is ok & my son coz were married b4 the 90days xpired

but the papers now is ready except the I-864

so we get trouble this if ever we send our papers coz my I-194 was xpired on May 3, 2010 ?

...

means my son & me 50 50 now here?

theres a possible one of this days im deported?

If your husband is supporting you in the Adjustment of Status then you don't need to worry about the overstay ("Out of Status" time) as it will be forgiven once AOS is approved.

I don't understand the "means my son & me 50 50 now here?" so I can't respond to it.

Yes you are both deport-able now! Don't worry too much though, ICE probably isn't looking for you...

[pinkhonu 5]

i'm confused.

are u worried about the marriage or you being deported and getting banned for 3 years?

coz it sounds like ur more worried about getting banned than having the an unstable marriage.

the 90 days was suppose to be a trial period before getting married.

it's a time for u guys to get to know each other before tying the knot.

know what you want first. think about your son.

i think there's a similar topic before... a girl was married but she left US to go back to the PH before the 90th day mark.. a year or 2 years later.. she's now applying for a k1 visa again.. with a different fiance.

when she got her cenomar... it never showed her marriage with her previous USC husband. and since she went home voluntarily.. she wasn't banned. i didn't get to check what happened next.. i just know that she was going to have an interview at the USEM when i read that forum.

i hate to say it but i kinda understand where Anna & Leo are coming from.

it's just weird though... his ex died 5 yrs ago.. but then again he might have promised her that he'll take care of her daughter.

one more thing though... didn't u know about this before u even got there? u should know about this before riding on that plane with your son.

and it seems i don't feel any love... love understands... if he's not over her.. why would he marry you? if there are somethings that he can't let go.. u would have to understand that for now... help him let go. u can't rush something like that. no 2 people are the same. not even twins! i'm not saying he's right for treating u that way. but then again... you're letting him do that to you.

just my 2 cents!

[A and T 82]

Hello VJ's

I need somes advise :

I arrived here in US using K1 & my son K2 ( 4yr.old ) last Feb.2010 & married last April 2010 of US citizen ( Amerkano )

My husband have live in partner died 2005.

Were always arguing for somes reason and im so tired of that .

Because :

1. He control im using long distance to phils. & use his cellphone but i cant complain that until now he still paying the cellphone bill of the girl.

2. Im upset coz i dont have rights to complain coz its his money whoever he wants to spent ?

3. Is that right that he dont want to tell me anything?

4. Im asking him how much everymonth he pay the car insurance of a girl but he answer me he dont know.

5. I dont have peace of mind coz he lie to me many times ( hard to forgive & forget )

6. He lie that the girl goes to school coz of govt. but i found out in his check that he issue full payment.

7. He lie that he buy a car for the girl coz of his dad money left him before died 2009 but when we discuss about his money of his bank he say that he use to buy a car of the girl ( different statement ).

8. He plan to spent xmas at Phils. but he complain that expensive but later i found out he use his money for the girl car.

9. Makes me cry that he always defend the girl than me.

10. His mad if i tell him to remove all the stuff of his died live in partner becoz until now he keep .

11. Until now were not yet process the AOS he say later later .

12. If he have plan he dont want to share with me & his angry if i have lots of questions.

13. Everytime we argue his always telling me go home ( its realy hurt for me )but he dont want to get me a tickets back if i say yes i want too.

14. If we decide to go back Phils. who can help us ?

15. If im married here means im automatic married also in Phils. ?

16. How true that if im go back Phils. someday hard for me to enter the US again coz of my records ?

If your in my part ....do you want to try the relationship work ?

Thank you for yout time ....

God Bless everyone ! ! !

When you met this man did you not know that he had a spouse that died? Did you not know he was taking care of his step daughter which he probably raised as his own? I'm just guessing but I bet they were married a fairly long time and to him thats his child . Its hard for him to deal with maybe, he doesn't sound like a bad guy to me , but I don't think he got over the death of his spouse and being mean to him and making threats isn't helping

Rather than direct anger at him, why not help him get over the death of his spouse , be a friend to him. Is he very old? I mean, im sure you knew these things when you got here , I doubt this was just some surprise. I understand you might feel frustrations but if you care about him at all why not help him?

[Heart-Broken 1]

If your husband is supporting you in the Adjustment of Status then you don't need to worry about the overstay ("Out of Status" time) as it will be forgiven once AOS is approved.

I don't understand the "means my son & me 50 50 now here?" so I can't respond to it.

Yes you are both deport-able now! Don't worry too much though, ICE probably isn't looking for you...

sorry about the 50 50 means hard situation here now...

what if the papers send later 2010

means the immigration force me & my son to leave in US ?

In reading your story, you should be ashamed of yourself, and just go home. You mention that you husband sponsored “your” 4 year old son via the K2 process, but you seemed to have this major problem that he still takes car of his deceased ex's, child. That seems very cold and selfish to me.

It seems most of his so called “lies” are related to his trying to help the step daughter, and you seem to be very upset that he does, so I guess he thinks he needs to hide those details from you.

If I was your husband, under the same situation, I would tell you that is what I am doing, and that would be the end of the subject, maybe he has not bought you a ticket home yet, because he hopes you will grow up someday, and realize how childish your being. Maybe he has not process you AOS yet, is because why throw more money at a possible losing situation.

They say there is always two sides to every story, but in your case you seemed to be telling both sides very well, and you should be ashamed of your self, for not understanding his situation.

HEY RELAX........

MAYBE YOU CAN GET HEART ATTACK OF THIS ISSUE......