Adjusting to America

[J&N* 68]

I think men are having a harder time than female beneficiaries, being an Egyptian or Arabic woman I could think of why they're having a hard time adjusting, Arabic men like being "in control" and want to be quite the macho man When I used to go on dates, most of my dates would consider it very rude if I want to pay for my dinner for example.

We grew up in societies where men are always the leaders, bread winners, and very independent, expecting their wives to depend on them and be led, respecting their men. Also, there are lots of misconceptions about American women, all the freedom and liberty an American woman has. We just have many ideas about how free Americans are, and that worries us. My mom kept asking my fiancé if he has another girlfriend, besides me! She even asked his dad when my in laws visited us. He was like, I can hardly keep up with one!! and my mother in law kept asking "do you have a gf i don't know of??"

Edited August 18, 2010 by Junita

[mandyu1 5]

I think men are having a harder time than female beneficiaries, being an Egyptian or Arabic woman I could think of why they're having a hard time adjusting, Arabic men like being "in control" and want to be quite the macho man When I used to go on dates, most of my dates would consider it very rude if I want to pay for my dinner for example.

We grew up in societies where men are always the leaders, bread winners, and very independent, expecting their wives to depend on them and be led, respecting their men. Also, there are lots of misconceptions about American women, all the freedom and liberty an American woman has. We just have many ideas about how free Americans are, and that worries us. My mom kept asking my fiancé if he has another girlfriend, besides me! She even asked his dad when my in laws visited us. He was like, I can hardly keep up with one!! and my mother in law kept asking "do you have a gf i don't know of??"

Thats a good point, I think a lot of women don't have a problem coming here and allowing their man to support and take care of them. I read somewhere that men thrive more from respect while for women it is love. When a man is taking care and providing for his family, and being responsible, those around him have a lot of respect for him. And for wowen (I'm speaking for myself) I enjoy doing things for my family and husband that will make them happy and let them know I love & care for them, and in return be appreciated and loved.

Also, IMO women are more sociable than men, so it may be easier to make friends around the neighborhood with other women who are home during the day, whereas a man not so much because most men are at work.

Good luck when you get here

[tenderheartusa79 14]

Talking about adjusting in the US .I was talking to one of my friends '' He has been in USA for 4 months '' about how much unhappy we are .And how hard it is .And he was like well the embassy was keep delaying us cause they know that we will be that depressed when we will move to USA they wanted us to think twice LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[JeanneVictoria 55]

I have to admit I'm so lucky that Wael's transition was a smooth one. He's loved the states since his arrival.

Got his license and car shortly after arriving and I do think this was a key in his adjustment. He was on his own

to search the city, and didn't have me to rely on. Everything was so exciting for him. Once he obtained his

year residency he began his courses to obtain his Bachelors in Economics which has kept him so busy. He

has mentioned occasionally that he misses Egypt, but in the same time he has said he could never live in

Egypt again. Of course he loves his country, his friends and his family, but his home is here and he lives

everyday doing his best in whatever challenges arise.

I love listening to him speak of how amazing America is. He loves to see clean streets, traffic

laws that are enforced, clean air, abundance of food in our markets....so many things we live with that are

taken for granted he sees as wonderful and exciting! I've always said he should have been a motivational speaker.

He always looks at the glass half full. Always tells me one can do and be whatever they so choose and desire here.

All one needs is to be committed to hard work and have the desire and motivation to accomplish it.

He is achieving the American dream and i'm so very proud of him.

[mandyu1 5]

I have to admit I'm so lucky that Wael's transition was a smooth one. He's loved the states since his arrival.

Got his license and car shortly after arriving and I do think this was a key in his adjustment. He was on his own

to search the city, and didn't have me to rely on. Everything was so exciting for him. Once he obtained his

year residency he began his courses to obtain his Bachelors in Economics which has kept him so busy. He

has mentioned occasionally that he misses Egypt, but in the same time he has said he could never live in

Egypt again. Of course he loves his country, his friends and his family, but his home is here and he lives

everyday doing his best in whatever challenges arise.

I love listening to him speak of how amazing America is. He loves to see clean streets, traffic

laws that are enforced, clean air, abundance of food in our markets....so many things we live with that are

taken for granted he sees as wonderful and exciting! I've always said he should have been a motivational speaker.

He always looks at the glass half full. Always tells me one can do and be whatever they so choose and desire here.

All one needs is to be committed to hard work and have the desire and motivation to accomplish it.

He is achieving the American dream and i'm so very proud of him.

This is so great Jeanne, I'm so happy for the both of you.

Many times Mohamed will ask me how certain things are here in America and when I tell him he says, thats so nice, I wish things/people in Egypt were like that. Talking about clean streets, I remember when I was in Egypt a few months ago there were garbage cans on the streets for people to use, but they were over flowing!! We were out one night and had some garbage and he was surprised but also admired that I did not just toss my trash out the car. He asked what I was going to do with it, and I said same thing I do when I'm at home. Wait until I get someplace and throw it away. And I informed him that if he's caught littering in the US he may have to pay a hefty fine

[J&N* 68]

I like a lot of things about Americans, how they can be nice and let you pass before them at a supermarket, how they don't gossip about everyone, how they are friendly and nice to strangers, no country is perfect really, every country has its good and its bad, it could be hard when you're still not used to it at first, but once you get used to it, it becomes very normal... it doesn't shock me when I see crowded streets here in Egypt!

[mandyu1 5]

I like a lot of things about Americans, how they can be nice and let you pass before them at a supermarket, how they don't gossip about everyone, how they are friendly and nice to strangers, no country is perfect really, every country has its good and its bad, it could be hard when you're still not used to it at first, but once you get used to it, it becomes very normal... it doesn't shock me when I see crowded streets here in Egypt!

One thing that really shocked me in Egypt was the driving, and Mohamed kept telling me its only Cairo that is like that. I remember driving and seeing so many people almost getting run down by cars!! I would always say, OMG that person almost got hit!! He would laugh at me I think most of the time we drove I had my eyes closed haha.

But on the other hand, when he was taking me places and didn't know how to get there he could pull over and ask any person on the side of the road or driving next to him, they were so nice and helpful. Here you don't really see that, people use their GPS, call on the phone for directions, or go into a gas station, you don't see too many people on the streets to ask for help and I think I can count on 2 hands the number of times I've seen someone ask another driver for help.

[Mithra 1,185]

Who told you we don't gossip? That's pretty much all we do during lunch at the office.

I like a lot of things about Americans, how they can be nice and let you pass before them at a supermarket, how they don't gossip about everyone, how they are friendly and nice to strangers, no country is perfect really, every country has its good and its bad, it could be hard when you're still not used to it at first, but once you get used to it, it becomes very normal... it doesn't shock me when I see crowded streets here in Egypt!

[J&N* 68]

Who told you we don't gossip? That's pretty much all we do during lunch at the office.

When me and my now, fiancé were still Bf and Gf people would stare at us, it was a taboo to be with a foreigner and act in love, a lot would assume many bad things about us, and my fiancé said he can't wait to put a ring on my finger so no one can misjudge us, and how no one in America would stare at point at you.

There's common, girl gossip everywhere though, it's fun!

[Mithra 1,185]

Well that's different. Yeah in most cases people here don't stare and point. We check people out in a less obvious way than Egyptians in Egypt. The staring thing was really awkward and kinda creepy to me. Oh and what is up with the weird noises that some Egyptian men make when they see a female? You know that noise they make that sounds like someone calling a cat? Creepy.

When me and my now, fiancé were still Bf and Gf people would stare at us, it was a taboo to be with a foreigner and act in love, a lot would assume many bad things about us, and my fiancé said he can't wait to put a ring on my finger so no one can misjudge us, and how no one in America would stare at point at you.

There's common, girl gossip everywhere though, it's fun!

[Mithra 1,185]

Along the same lines as previously discussed - the staring and pointing. One of the things that took my husband awhile to get used to was the fact that men are so used to seeing women walk around wearing low cuts tops or short shorts or whatever that the men here don't make a production about it like in Egypt. Men here may give a look but they don't, generally, stare a woman down and do cat calls and such. It's pretty casual since American guys are so used to seeing it. My husband didn't realize this when he first got here so if I wore short sleeves or a skirt that wasn't down to my ankles, he would get upset. He would assume I'd go out and all sorts of men would be harrassing me. Once he finally realized that this wasn't the case he was ok with the short sleeves and skirts, etc.

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

I have to admit I'm so lucky that Wael's transition was a smooth one. He's loved the states since his arrival.

Got his license and car shortly after arriving and I do think this was a key in his adjustment. He was on his own

to search the city, and didn't have me to rely on. Everything was so exciting for him. Once he obtained his

year residency he began his courses to obtain his Bachelors in Economics which has kept him so busy. He

has mentioned occasionally that he misses Egypt, but in the same time he has said he could never live in

Egypt again. Of course he loves his country, his friends and his family, but his home is here and he lives

everyday doing his best in whatever challenges arise.

I love listening to him speak of how amazing America is. He loves to see clean streets, traffic

laws that are enforced, clean air, abundance of food in our markets....so many things we live with that are

taken for granted he sees as wonderful and exciting! I've always said he should have been a motivational speaker.

He always looks at the glass half full. Always tells me one can do and be whatever they so choose and desire here.

All one needs is to be committed to hard work and have the desire and motivation to accomplish it.

He is achieving the American dream and i'm so very proud of him.

I think i can relate already to your husband. I think i am going to be like that as well and i do have the same opinion about things. The only thing i am going to miss is my family. My poor mom is going to cry her eyes out for months every time she sees my empty room.

[J&N* 68]

I think i can relate already to your husband. I think i am going to be like that as well and i do have the same opinion about things. The only thing i am going to miss is my family. My poor mom is going to cry her eyes out for months every time she sees my empty room.

Ahmed, my mom already started to cry even before I travel, just thinking about it, makes her ball her eyes out. Egyptian mothers

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

Ahmed, my mom already started to cry even before I travel, just thinking about it, makes her ball her eyes out. Egyptian mothers

Well, my mom could give lessons about how to cry her eyes out when her kids are away. Once, i remember i had to work outside Cairo and it was just a short distance away. I would stay home for Friday and Saturday even before going back to work. She cried daily.

I just shudder to think what she will do when i am in another country. It is a a heavy blow to my parents that they wont be there beside me on my wedding day.

[J&N* 68]

Why don't they apply for a tourist visa? my parents are doing that.

If they can't, come to Egypt after you get your advance parole, and just have a wedding party here, we like our Egyptian weddings fat and big!

Edited August 19, 2010 by Junita