Adjusting to America

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

Why don't they apply for a tourist visa? my parents are doing that.

If they can't, come to Egypt after you get your advance parole, and just have a wedding party here, we like our Egyptian weddings fat and big!

Well we thought about that route but unfortunately they had a severe financial blow recently due to a con played on them. long story, but to cut it short it would be quite impossible for them to pay the price of two tickets when their sources are tight for now. I do however plan Inshallah on making a small party when i visit Egypt again. Thanks for the replies and the tips Juni, and sorry for hijacking your thread Mandy! I will post my real experiences when i fly there Inshallah.

[mandyu1 5]

Well we thought about that route but unfortunately they had a severe financial blow recently due to a con played on them. long story, but to cut it short it would be quite impossible for them to pay the price of two tickets when their sources are tight for now. I do however plan Inshallah on making a small party when i visit Egypt again. Thanks for the replies and the tips Juni, and sorry for hijacking your thread Mandy! I will post my real experiences when i fly there Inshallah.

No worries Ahmed Sorry to hear about your family Getting married is such a big milestone in one's life, and one we usually like to celebrate with our parents and family.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I haven't read every single post in the thread, but here I am sharing my experience of a little over five months of adjustment in the US.

- I wouldn't say I had any type of cultural shock, since I've started having my own views years ago and do value freedom of speech and everyone's individuality. My theory is: everyone is free to do what s/he wants, as long as they are not harming others.

- The clean wide roads, the clean air, the organized traffic all felt NORMAL to me. What's in Egypt is abnormal. It felt nice seeing that cleanliness is appreciated.

- I hate the fact that we use the car everywhere we go. I miss walking. I used to walk at least 30 minutes a day when I was in Egypt.

- First time we went grocery shopping together I stacked our cart with fresh vegetables and fruits. Our bill along with everything else we bought was over $250. Later John explained to me that FRESH vegetables and fruit are more expensive than frozen or canned ones. It still didn't make sense to me, it's the other way around in Egypt and I think that's how it should be. We ended up planting our own little garden where we grow fresh vegetables and fruit.

- I love our trips to the Middle Eastern store in our town. All the goodies there make me feel at home.

- People DO gossip here, and it can get AWFUL sometimes. First time we went to our local mosque here to tell the imam we would like to get married but we were waiting on my dad's and brother's visitor visas to get approved, he said ok and to let him know the date when we decide. I met a few Middle Eastern people on one dinner and the whole time I was/felt welcomed with smiles and occasional kisses on the cheek from the ladies and such. Later the imam gave my husband (then fiance) a call telling him that he has heard rumors that I am a run-away bride. LOL... I went furious and felt very offended about being talked about when I only arrived here a few weeks and people haven't actually asked me if they had any questions! I had my dad give the imam a call and explain that their visitor visas where pending and that what happened was unacceptable.. An Egyptian friend of John's told him: "People just 'assumed' that since she's Middle Eastern and is here without her family."... Things took another turn when my husband (then fiance) caught a guy walking around our house with a flash light at 10:00 pm to see if we are living together or not...that was a few days after we got married. It was plain dumb and insane. We almost called the cops....

- Another incident is 'someone' from my husband's family gossiped with his ex that he has gotten married and she ended up taking him to court for visitations even though she hasn't seen the kids in over 2 years because she simply doesn't care... I find that part of the US crazy...

- People did stare at us in Egypt. Here sometimes they stare, sometimes they don't. We kinda like the confused looks on their faces. Only one time it bothered me because some guy was staring at me like for 5 complete minutes and then I had to cut it and said: "Hi! Do you think you know me? Because I don't think I know you. It would be nicer if you look in another direction, thank you." LOL

- I like the fact that animals here are respected and treated well.

- I like that schools are organized and education is valued (inside schools).

- I don't like the way American teenagers treat their parents or older people. I find most of the ones I have seen very disrespectful and shallow. I am not all for erasing your children's personalities and being a dictator about their lives, but at the same time respect is very important.

- When you ask a child in Egypt: "What do you want to be when you grow up?", the usual answer you get is: "A doctor. A cop. An engineer. A journalist, etc.". Out of over 25 children I met on different occasions, including our kids, the answers I got were: "A singer. A rockstar. I want to be like Hannah Montana. An actor. A Basketball player. A mom. A teacher. A dancer. etc.". I am not lessening from the importance of every occupation mentioned, but they need to know there are other varieties other than what they watch on TV. It kind of bothers me how some parents don't care to explain to their children what a doctor or an engineer for example does.

- I don't believe the man should be the only bread-winner. I hate that I am 'Idle' at the moment. Although I am a full-time-mom and thinking of a job now sounds hectic already. I can't wait to get a job and be able to contribute to the house financially.

- I think having a good relationship with the in-laws is very important to have an easy transition. I am very fortunate to have nice in-laws and I love that my husband and I are very close to them. My grandmother-in-law and I hang out often and we go to the movies together or go shopping and talk on the phone every other day. My mother-in-law and I joined a scrap-booking course and we exchange books and recipes. It's so nice to feel that I have a family here.

- I talk to my family every day on Skype and over the phone. Keeping a constant communication with the family is VERY VERY important. The lack of it will backfire later.

- Married life is nothing like being in a relationship. Other things become as important as or even more important than 'the mushy-mushy stuff' in daily life. Every day you learn new things about your SO no matter how well you knew each other on the phone or the internet or the short visits.

- It's very important to discuss the role of the husband and wife before your SO moves to the US. I don't believe that any of the sides should change completely for the other. Compromises should and have to be made sometimes though. As long as you are clear about your roles and views, transition should be a lot easier.

- It's important to care for your SO's feelings while you do all the things you like to do in your spare time. Make sure they like the movie you chose, the restaurant you chose, etc. I said nothing at all for 3 months about my husband going fishing very often while I am still trying to find other things to replace my old hobbies and the places I used to go to. We had to have a long talk about it after. I told him: "I miss opening the door and stopping a cab and going wherever I want to go, or meet up with a friend and go shopping or go out of lunches." He said: "Well, this is not Cairo, baby." We both made compromises after that talk. I'm glad we had it.

- You should expect some questions wherever you go, like: "How did you meet? Where did you meet? What food do you usually cook? etc." We were asked before: "How did you keep in touch?, we answered: "We talked on the phone and texted on yahoo via our cellphones at least 10 hours non-stop a day." The comment we got back was: "OMG, I didn't know you can text in Egypt!!" Oh well. LOL

- People usually get surprised that I went to college and worked as a translator. I wish there was more importance to education between common people here.

- Last thing I have on mind now is the homesickness blues. I have no idea why they come or why they suddenly stop, they just happen. I think it's normal in a way, but I hate feeling down. They range from being quiet and down sometimes to actually crying and using a bag of tissues if something else was bothering me. I am glad I have an understanding husband who loves me in all my moods. They do rarely occur though. I don't know when the homesickness blues will permanently go away. I think along with missing the family and friends, it comes to the fact that beneficiary has 'two homes' and s/he can't suddenly accept that there's one home now and it's in that new foreign country.

If I remember more, I'll add more.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I think i can relate already to your husband. I think i am going to be like that as well and i do have the same opinion about things. The only thing i am going to miss is my family. My poor mom is going to cry her eyes out for months every time she sees my empty room.

My mom did that for the first 3 months every time we talked. Now it happens every other week. It still breaks my heart to hear her cry.

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

An excellent post Aya as usual. Thanks for sharing this insight into your own experience. It was an interesting read since this is the first time you shared these experiences with us here. The "run-away bride" things is completely outrageous and i applaud your patience with the whole situation.

People usually get surprised that I went to college and worked as a translator.

Hey! could it be? a fellow translator? I have a B.A of English from the Faculty of Al-Alsun (languages) and work as a translator as well currently.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Hey! could it be? a fellow translator? I have a B.A of English from the Faculty of Al-Alsun (languages) and work as a translator as well currently.

I graduated from the Faculty of Arts, English Department. I guess there is only one Alsun, in Ain Shams right?

I searched for any jobs here in the same field, but found nothing so far. I would LOVE to be a translator again!!

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

I graduated from the Faculty of Arts, English Department. I guess there is only one Alsun, in Ain Shams right?

I searched for any jobs here in the same field, but found nothing so far. I would LOVE to be a translator again!!

Translation is grossly underestimated in Egypt (among other things) unfortunately, and compared with the rates you might find in the US you will be appalled to compare it with the rates a translator gets here. The trick here is that Arabic is not as needed as other languages might be, depending on where you are. Your best bet would be searching online for freelance translation work, that you can do from home, since you wont be able to leave your kids for now and commit to a full time job. You can have your money sent to either you bank account or a pay pal account, whichever you might like. Actually Babylon (the excellent e-dictionary) was hiring freelance translators in all languages if you wanna check it out.

Oh, and AL Alsun is only in Ainshams and El Menya.

Edited August 19, 2010 by Ahmed&Rachel

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Translation is grossly underestimated in Egypt (among other things) unfortunately, and compared with the rates you might find in the US you will be appalled to compare it with the rates a translator gets here. The trick here is that Arabic is not as needed as other languages might be, depending on where you are. Your best bet would be searching online for freelance translation work, that you can do from home, since you wont be able to leave your kids for now and commit to a full time job. You can have your money sent to either you bank account or a pay pal account, whichever you might like. Actually Babylon (the excellent e-dictionary) was hiring freelance translators in all languages if you wanna check it out.

Oh, and AL Alsun is only in Ainshams and El Menya.

The quote in bold above is very true.

One thing I wish I brought with me from Egypt is an Arabic-English Keyboard. Not only for Translation purposes in the future...I just miss seeing Arabic letters on the keyboard.

Thanks for telling me about Babylon. I am going to check it out soon.

[And_Sam 44]

The quote in bold above is very true.

One thing I wish I brought with me from Egypt is an Arabic-English Keyboard. Not only for Translation purposes in the future...I just miss seeing Arabic letters on the keyboard.

Thanks for telling me about Babylon. I am going to check it out soon.

Aya, thank you for such a great insight on your transition! I see alot of what you are saying in my husband too, but being a man, well, it's harder for him to "open up" and share what he is feeling.

I have to laugh too, Sameh brought an Arabic/English keyboard with him and it's still in the box it came in. He just uses the english one with a arabic program on the computer.

I am glad that you are close to your in-laws, that must help tremendously. My dad loves to have Sameh over to help him "tinker" on things around the house. It makes me feel like he finally has a male to teach how to do the things around the house.

[caybee 21]

The quote in bold above is very true.

One thing I wish I brought with me from Egypt is an Arabic-English Keyboard. Not only for Translation purposes in the future...I just miss seeing Arabic letters on the keyboard.

Thanks for telling me about Babylon. I am going to check it out soon.

I ordered some stickers for the computer keyboard from Amazon. They have "U.S. English" and Arabic letters side by side on them so that when you stick them on, the Arabic letters are in the right places. I put them on very carefully several months ago, and I can't feel them, nor have they moved or peeled at all. Definitely less expensive than an Arabic keyboard, which is what I was looking for initially.