LAND DOWNUNDER

[Elle 0]

One of the biggest reasons I had to call it off was because, for the past 5 years, I've really only been in a relationship with one guy...Corey. And more than half the time, it was mainly online. I wasn't getting out with my friends or anything. I've started to do that, and I really enjoy it. Spending time out, doing things other 22 year olds do is so much fun! I mean for the first time ever, I was drunk like 2 weeks ago and I'm 22!! That played a big factor in calling things off. My parents/family and his family think I did the right thing. They didn't think we were ready for marriage, but they just never said anything because they believe that it's my life and my decisions. So I am thankful for having family like that.

But yeah, maybe later on down the road, we will be together again but for now.. I really am not ready for marriage. He knows that if he comes over on a different visa, we can definitely start over, but until then we're both going to be single. He's definitely looking at other options though, that's for sure. It's just going to be a bit harder..and lots longer but it should pay off in the end.

So if i cancel my k1 now.. how will that affect my chances of using it again with him later on down the road? I don't see myself getting involved with anyone else overseas again, so I'm not too worried, but what if we decide we want to use it again say..5 years down the track?

All opinions welcomed!

Hi Seren,

I'm prying myself from the packing and house cleaning for this, so feel special

Anyways...

I really can relate to your situation. First of all I think its really brave of you to do what you have decided! You didnt back out because you feel you're so far into the visa process, or think this visa journey is a commitment, imagine the marriage commitment! So its great you are true to yourself. I dont think you have anything to worry about with reapplying fot the visa. You have very valid reasons on why you cancelled. I truly hope it works out for the best for the both of you.

This is just my experience and I am in no means judging you. Just thought I'd share what path we took, since we were in a very similar situation. Eric and I first met in person when I was 18 and he was 22. So all this time, I've been in one relationship and thats with Eric. And like you, it was mainly online due to his work commitments and my Uni commitments. Even after graduating in late 2005...I didnt think it take this long, but 2 yrs later, I'm finally making my move to the US.

We got married when I had *just* turned 20, like by days. I don't regret it one bit but I do understand the going out and stuff. We basically sacrificed our youths for each other. I mean not saying we didnt go out or anything, but instead of staying out and shopping or whatever, I tended to go home early so I can talk to him.

And he stuck to 3pm - 11pm shift and stayed online with me until like 4am his time. So we both sacrificed a bit for each other and our marriage. I dont even like using that word sacrifice...maybe compromised? Anyways, when I did go out and all that, all I could really think of was I wish Eric was here. It was then that I decided...I can wait to do this going out and all that and I can do it with Eric or when I am living together with Eric and I know he's home waiting for me. And heehee...the first time I got drunk I was 21 and I was WITH Eric when we were in Florida.

I wouldnt trade the memories I do have with Eric. I dont feel like I missed out...I just think we can make new memories together. All the bar hopping and all that..phhsh Im only 24 and hes only 29 so we can still get thrashed together or apart w/ friends lol.

I think its wise to get the going out and experiencing being a 22 year old out of your system - like dont feel cheated cuz u think u have to stay in and not experience the good college stuff because u r with Corey, cuz you might resent him know what I mean? Does he feel the same? Like does he want to go out and do more of his own thing now too?

I really truly hope it works out for the best. I know its a hard spot to be in, feeling like your in a crossroads but from what you have said, I def think you made the right decision. If its meant to be, you guys will find a way!

On another note...

Eric will be here in a couple of days then its 2 weeks together, 2 weeks of more packing and tearful c yas laters and then off I go to be with my boo!

CONGRATS to PRIS, Moonie, Tamzo and all with their NOA2s and who have made the move to the US!! I've been so itching to move since March!!

Thanks for the POE review Hammy. I will be entering @ LAX...hopefully it goes fairly smooth.

Hi Kath & Lyndel - how are you ladies doin?

Vylex - hang in there, Im sure your NOA2 is just around the corner.

[Moonie 0]

WOW Seren

[vylex 0]

Vylex - hang in there, Im sure your NOA2 is just around the corner.

Hi Elle! Great post to Lynn about the situation and good to see you checking back in.

Thanks! I'm hanging in there and the hopes are better now that the CSC has it. I got the transfer letter to the CSC in my mailbox today. At least I know the notices and emails are in sync in my case LOL.

As for your post, you've described quite a bit about the situation between Vy and myself (as far as sacrifices) although it was at a later stage in our lives. Even though Vy is 28, I am her first real relationship. She is also my first real relationship. We've both gone out dating and partied with friends but never found anyone to truly connect with until we met each other. I totally agree about the compromise. I also believe in enjoying the single life and getting it out of your system. There won't be any regrets later.

How are you liking Maryland? Springtime is gorgeous there.

[SharynY 2]

Guys have a question...

how much is the fee you have to pay at australia post?

non immigrant fee is $130

immigrant fee is about $490 give or take a buck....

since i'm immigrating wouldnt the latter apply?

[jezz85 0]

Good news Sharyna! Its $130.

Although, we keep shelling out down the line when we get to the US for AOS and everything, but to answer your question, you'll be paying $130.

Meanwhile...

I agree with everything that has been said about relationships and enjoying youth and so on. I am young (21) but I feel very strongly that I'm over the first phase of my life. I've always been "mature for my age" to quote everyone who has ever known me. Fortunately (and vitally, I believe) Tony and I are both in the same place of our lives, we're both much happier staying in, or going out for a quiet dinner and a movie.

If I still felt the need to go out with my girlfriends and go drinking and clubbing I would probably be thinking about whether I was making the right decision. I've had a couple of relationships before Tony and I've had more than my fair share of crazy nights out (Uh, contiki vet here). I know I'm ready for the next stage of my life and I have no regrets about leaving that part of life behind. I have PLENTY of friends who are definately not ready to do that though and thats okay too. Bascially, its up to the individual to decide whether they're ready or not. Its not a certain age, or certain place in life, its about being true to yourself and your own happiness. I know for certain that two years ago I was a completely different person to the one I am now. My hope and belief is (as everyones is) that Tony and I, when we come together will be able to grow together as well.

[SharynY 2]

thanks Jezz!!

and you pay that once you get the other stuff from the embassy... okies......

now i'm just waiting lol...

[jezz85 0]

Yep, they ask you to pay the $130 at your local post office who will give you a receipt to attach to the front of your passport. They'll also ask you to bring along a "3kg Express Post Sachel" so they can mail you your visa and things the next day (or you could drop in in person to pick it up following business day if you prefer).

Don't worry about these two things yet though. You'll hear about this in the last letter they send you when they give you your interview appointment. In that letter they'll also tell you the order they want you to put everything in. You won't hear about them in packet 3 (which you'll be getting SOON (yay!)).

[SharynY 2]

LOL i'm glad they tell you what order they want things in lol....

makes it so much easier!!

thankyou jezz!

[Kelli 0]

Guys have a question...

how much is the fee you have to pay at australia post?

non immigrant fee is $130

immigrant fee is about $490 give or take a buck....

since i'm immigrating wouldnt the latter apply?

Hey guys!

Just a question about the fee.....I went to the post office today to ask about how to pay the fee, and the girl had no idea...so do I tell them that I need to pay a non immigrant fee??? I am sooooo confused!

[Kath 0]

hi ya trist

if ya look at my post its on page 42 on here i think ...i posted what a K1 visa receipt from the post office looks like if you cant find it i will repost it for you

hi there elle

doing good here thanks...tired as not sleeping too well..robbie wakes me up lol aawwwwwwwwww that is great he is coming over to get you and help you out.....it does help having your partner there at the airport ya know...talk to ya soon missed ya mate....and good on ya for sharing your story...

well i might get to bed talk to ya tomorrow..

kath

[jezz85 0]

Hi tristessa, plenty of post office people know exactly how to do it, I suggest go see a different person if possible and they'll hook you up. Thats probably the easiest way. Don't let them give you a postal order or anything funny like that.

Just for reference, Kaths post might be on page 99 (instead of 42) depending on how many posts per page you're set on. For me its on page 99 anyway. Post #1477 if you're still stuck. It was helpful for me when I did it. (THANKS again Kath!)

[hampster 0]

Hey you guys,

I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to give a little update. I have just recently canceled our k1 petition less than 15 days from our interview date. I know it's crazy, but as time went by, I realized more and more that I am still barely only 22 years old. I really don't want to get married. I love Corey and all, but I just don't feel as if I'm ready for marriage. He tells me that we can see if we're really right for each other when he comes for the three months if he uses the k1 visa, but I told him that it wasn't really that much time. I just don't think for us three months is long enough.

I told him that if he were to come on any other visa, we could definitely start over, but for now I really don't want to feel the pressure of getting married within 90 days. I just don't like having my life planned out like that, I feel as if I'm still too young to have everything so planned out and on track, I want to enjoy myself for a bit longer.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their generosity and kindness on this board. You guys were more help than ever! I wouldn't have been as successful in this process this far into it without you guys. I want to thank Kath especially, she was always on her tip toes to jump at answering my questions and I really appreciate it! *hugs Kath*

But yeah, you guys can give your opinions if you want, i really don't mind. I have to fax over a written letter asking to cancel the petition soon. I haven't done it yet, but I have to find a fax machine.. that will allow me to fax internationally. But yeah..sad that our interview would have been in a few days..

Love you guys!

I hope all of you have a quick and easy visa journey

Lynn

Hey Lynn,

Takes

[hampster 0]

Hey you guys,

I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to give a little update. I have just recently canceled our k1 petition less than 15 days from our interview date. I know it's crazy, but as time went by, I realized more and more that I am still barely only 22 years old. I really don't want to get married. I love Corey and all, but I just don't feel as if I'm ready for marriage. He tells me that we can see if we're really right for each other when he comes for the three months if he uses the k1 visa, but I told him that it wasn't really that much time. I just don't think for us three months is long enough.

I told him that if he were to come on any other visa, we could definitely start over, but for now I really don't want to feel the pressure of getting married within 90 days. I just don't like having my life planned out like that, I feel as if I'm still too young to have everything so planned out and on track, I want to enjoy myself for a bit longer.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their generosity and kindness on this board. You guys were more help than ever! I wouldn't have been as successful in this process this far into it without you guys. I want to thank Kath especially, she was always on her tip toes to jump at answering my questions and I really appreciate it! *hugs Kath*

But yeah, you guys can give your opinions if you want, i really don't mind. I have to fax over a written letter asking to cancel the petition soon. I haven't done it yet, but I have to find a fax machine.. that will allow me to fax internationally. But yeah..sad that our interview would have been in a few days..

Love you guys!

I hope all of you have a quick and easy visa journey

Lynn

Hey Lynn,

Takes

ok take 2 grrr stupid keyboard..

Hey Lynn,

Sorry to hear about what has happend for you and Corey.

You always IMO have to always always go with your "Gut Feeling"

If it doesn;t feel right or it's not the right time.. or if your just not sure.

Best do something - speak up now.

I am Sorry that this is the road you need to take,

but I do Understand that you have to be true to yourself.

And really if you don't have the Commitment for Marriage at this time,

you definately are doing the right thing for both you and for Corey.

Maybe down the track you will feel ready to take that Life Changing Decision.

As has been stated in previous posts. Corey could always apply to come over

on Work Visa to spend some quality time with you.

Having a long distance relationships can be very Emotionally Straining on both parties,

The main thing to have is Good Communication between both parties,

along with Understanding ,Love (off course) and Commitment.

I feel like I'm Preaching to the Choir Here

The Bottom Line is.. Are both Parties ready for that lifelong Commitment.

One day in the future Lynn you will have all the above,

and when you do decide to Marry.. you know that you will be ready for it.

To Both you and Corey,

I wish you all the Best for your Futures and

Know we are here on VJ if you either need to talk.

Cheers

Paul

[Rings 10]

Both our petitioins were touched yesterday!!! Do you think this means that our NOA2 may soon come?

[hampster 0]

Both our petitioins were touched yesterday!!! Do you think this means that our NOA2 may soon come?

Hiya Rings ..

Congrats on both your Petitions being Touched Yesterday

Ya Never Know but hey I will say a prayer for both of yours to be finalised fast

Gotta Love this New England Weather.. expecting 2 - 4 Inches rain today and tomorrow

Hope all is well with you and yours and everyone is safe and warm.

Cheers

Paul