LAND DOWNUNDER

[SharynY 2]

thankyou all!!

ok question!!

yup question - just when you think you'd escape....

the whole leaving the country forms (tax, enrolment for voting and what not).... how far ahead should i tell them?.... i do my tax in july every year and i know i'll still be here at that time so i should do it then?

[jezz85 0]

Congrats for NOA2 Sharyna! Just you wait, everything is going to start happening now!

And I'm the one crying myself to sleep tonight cos I was forgotten! And because I miss my baby. I need a cuddle.

Wow. dancing and crying in the same post. That can't be a good sign of mental health. ergh!

[SharynY 2]

thankyou jezz....

i've yet to check the USCIS website case status because even tho he recieved the letter saying yay.... they didnt update the status on th website....

so i'm going to check it shortly or in the morning since its night over there now.....

[serendipitous 0]

Hey you guys,

I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to give a little update. I have just recently canceled our k1 petition less than 15 days from our interview date. I know it's crazy, but as time went by, I realized more and more that I am still barely only 22 years old. I really don't want to get married. I love Corey and all, but I just don't feel as if I'm ready for marriage. He tells me that we can see if we're really right for each other when he comes for the three months if he uses the k1 visa, but I told him that it wasn't really that much time. I just don't think for us three months is long enough.

I told him that if he were to come on any other visa, we could definitely start over, but for now I really don't want to feel the pressure of getting married within 90 days. I just don't like having my life planned out like that, I feel as if I'm still too young to have everything so planned out and on track, I want to enjoy myself for a bit longer.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their generosity and kindness on this board. You guys were more help than ever! I wouldn't have been as successful in this process this far into it without you guys. I want to thank Kath especially, she was always on her tip toes to jump at answering my questions and I really appreciate it! *hugs Kath*

But yeah, you guys can give your opinions if you want, i really don't mind. I have to fax over a written letter asking to cancel the petition soon. I haven't done it yet, but I have to find a fax machine.. that will allow me to fax internationally. But yeah..sad that our interview would have been in a few days..

Love you guys!

I hope all of you have a quick and easy visa journey

Lynn

[jezz85 0]

Hey Lynn, well done for staying true to yourself.

Its disappointing for the both of you that you've had to cancel at this late stage, but you're both much better off for it. If its not right, its not right. You need to spend more time on the relationship and figuring things out, you never know, maybe in a few years you'll feel ready. My love to you and Corey.

Just because you're saying no to marriage make sure that you're not saying no to Corey if thats really the way you feel. You guys are gonna have to work really hard for the relationship in the short term since there are gonna be a lot of confused and hurt feelings. If I were in your shoes, I'd start planning a temporary stay together, hit up that tourist visa or visa waiver (is visa waiver still an option?) for as soon as possible so you can spend some real together time getting things back on track.

Again, all my love. *hugs*

[girlfrmoz 1]

Hi Sharyna, cause you are leaving the country you can do your tax early if you want. Have a look at the ATO website: www.ato.gov.au there is a whole section on leaving the country.

Hey Seren (Lynn), Sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you but you have to look after yourself and do what's in your heart. You should be proud of yourself for having the honesty to say that you are not ready a lot of people don't have the guts to do that. Tell me to butt out if you want but I want to make one little suggestion.....keep going with your K1 Visa application as there are no more costs involved now you are at interview stage and if you don't use it there is nothing lost. The reason I say this is because it is a big step to save money, move to another country, leave family and friends, get married and keep a long distance relationship going through the stressful visa journey. Everyone feels overwhelmed at different stages in it and I know sometimes myself I questioned whether I should get married. If you complete the K1 process you have 3 months to activate it and then 3months once you get to the USA to get married. it buys you some time to think about how you feel once you have that stressful interview out of the way and you are approved and everything has calmed down. It gives you the option to delay things awhile, or call it off or if you change your mind you can still just jump on a plane, but at least you have more options. Anyway, we are here if you need to talk at anytime. Sending you hugs!

Hey Pris....Jake says he's way too gorgeous for photos...oh oh and he wants everyone to know what a wonderful husband he is...jeeze!!! lol

Jess, hang in there. I used to have nights like that too. Long distance is hard but it is so worth it once you get over here an the time will go quick. Sending you hugs!

[jezz85 0]

Hee hee hee thank you very much

I read your post (the bit for me) and though "Wow, how does she know? How clever!" Then I scrolled up and realised, hmm, oh yeah, I admitted it right there! Spot the loser (me). I'm fine, I'm just fighting the urge to jump on a plane, now that I've got my visa squared away! I don't think I've ever resented my commitment to tertiary education more than I do now. Gah!

You make a really going point for Lynn to think about too

[hampster 0]

Hi all.

I have uploaded a pic of me Holding "Charlie" the Koala" when Cheryl and I

Visited the Gorge Wildlife Park last year Before we got married.

Tell me what ya think?

Cheers

Paul

[girlfrmoz 1]

Spot the loser (me). I'm fine, I'm just fighting the urge to jump on a plane, now that I've got my visa squared away! I don't think I've ever resented my commitment to tertiary education more than I do now. Gah!

Hey Jess, It's all ok and you are not a loser! lol I think the waiting is harder after you are approved....I was approved in Feb and didn't leave until April and it was so hard to wait, plus I got really emotional for a while there..but we needed to save more and Jake was away for training so we had to wait. I wanted to do the same...just get on a plane.

[serendipitous 0]

Thanks Jezz and Girlfromoz!

I really do appreciate the input.

Jezz, you're right, I have told him to try to come on a different visa. He's going to try to come on an employment based visa so that we can be together without the pressures of getting married. I told him straight up that, it's the marriage that I don't want to deal with, and not him.

Girlfromoz, I have been thinking about telling him to go through with his interview and just get the visa. But then I realized, if he does come over, I am the type of person that really can't be true to myself if it hurts someone else. If things weren't working out, I'd be too scared to tell him that and see him off to australia again. I just don't think 3 months is enough time for us, especially since we are still extremely young. So we decided together that we shouldn't finish up the interview process and find another way to have him come over. It will make for less hurt feelings later on.

One of the biggest reasons I had to call it off was because, for the past 5 years, I've really only been in a relationship with one guy...Corey. And more than half the time, it was mainly online. I wasn't getting out with my friends or anything. I've started to do that, and I really enjoy it. Spending time out, doing things other 22 year olds do is so much fun! I mean for the first time ever, I was drunk like 2 weeks ago and I'm 22!! That played a big factor in calling things off. My parents/family and his family think I did the right thing. They didn't think we were ready for marriage, but they just never said anything because they believe that it's my life and my decisions. So I am thankful for having family like that.

But yeah, maybe later on down the road, we will be together again but for now.. I really am not ready for marriage. He knows that if he comes over on a different visa, we can definitely start over, but until then we're both going to be single. He's definitely looking at other options though, that's for sure. It's just going to be a bit harder..and lots longer but it should pay off in the end.

So if i cancel my k1 now.. how will that affect my chances of using it again with him later on down the road? I don't see myself getting involved with anyone else overseas again, so I'm not too worried, but what if we decide we want to use it again say..5 years down the track?

All opinions welcomed!

[girlfrmoz 1]

Hi Seren,

I think you are doing the right thing....if that is what is in your heart, you honour what is right for you.

I know Aus has a free trade agreement with the USA which gives us special working rights, this is fairly new legislation. You both might want to check out the rules under that legislation (I'm an ex-aust government worker). I think it is located on www.immi.gov.au or you could check out www.smarttraveller.gov.au that could be of more help actually.

Good luck with it all!

Lyndel

[Kath 0]

hi seren

sorry to hear the news but at 22 you should be proud of youself that you are mature enough to make such an important decision in your life.. by the way it is 6 months to activate a visa after the interview...

good luck to you n corey may your love grow stronger and you both find you cant live without each other on the opposite sides of the world..glad you have the support of your friends n family around you..

hopefully corey can get a work permit to work here .. might take ages though depending on what field he is into ...

gotta go will post more to ya later..off to volunteer work in a minny

take care seren...and good on ya ...n you were quite welcome to my help you know that...

kath

[calvinch 3]

Hi Seren,

There are several options to make the distance shorter, if you feel that you're not ready to take the K-1 route. Because Australia has a working holiday agreement with Canada, Corey can work in Canada for up to a year. My fianceé did this last year... she went up to Vancouver last year, and it definitely helped in our case because 1) We were at least in the same time zone and 2) I was able to visit her more often (cheaper, shorter flights from SF to YVR than to SYD).

Corey can also apply for the E-3 visa, which was created recently specifically for Australians. I believe it works very similar to the H-1B visa, only that Australians don't have to compete with other people for H-1B. But like the H-1B, the company that hires him will have to prove they can't find Americans for his job.

A third option that I have just found out recently is that US Citizens can work abroad in New Zealand under a working holiday scheme for one year. Since Australians can work in NZ without applying for work visas, so maybe the two of you can both work there.

Anyway, you guys already as you said spent 5 years together, so I think it's worth looking at other options to see if you guys can stay together.

-cal

[vylex 0]

Lynn,

I definitely think it was a good idea. Especially with you just being 22 (call me old fashioned haha). How did Corey take it? Also just curious but how old is he? Long distance relationships are hard to sustain much less grow in. It really does take both couples to make the effort and have 100% belief in their hearts and minds. Doubt is always a killer. It took plenty of reassurance, understanding, and commitment for both of us to be able to grow as close as we have. I think trying to spend time physically together first is a smart move, especially at that age. You still have a lot of other factors in life to deal with.

As for my wife and I, we are both established in our careers and hit a stable point in our lives (steady job, goals, and lifestyle). I think at early 20s there are still a lot of experiences to go through (professional as well as personal) before hitting the "let's settle down" stage. Vy and I still plan to experience more things, but as a married couple now. We're both 100% ready for that. We both had loads of fun being single but were ready to find that someone. Lucky for us, we found each other (thanks to my cousins in Oz for living there and hosting a wedding that Vy and I wound up attending).

I think if you and Corey are meant to be, you will find a way to be together. In any case, I wish both of you the very best in your future.

[CarolineM 0]

Lynn:

Just a quick idea...I see that you live in Virginia. You should have Corey look into Camp Counselor USA. STewart did this and it's how I met him. It would get him a J-1 visa without the two year residency requirement.

Check it out:

http://www.ccusa.com/

He would work all summer and then have three additional months before he had to return home..if I remember it correctly. WE did a camp in North Carolina and it was awesome.

I do think you are making the right desicion...

Hugs,

Caroline