Fiance wont LEAVE!!!!

[nab 74]

to the OP i would contact USCIS and an immigration lawyer.

coudl you arrange for her to stay with a family member till her flight back?

[daboyz 36]

to the OP i would contact USCIS and an immigration lawyer.

coudl you arrange for her to stay with a family member till her flight back?

Why bother? She was unfaithful. Not his problem.

[skynaut 29]

listen, there are many different types of people out there... some take their responsibilities seriously and some do not. just becasue they've found a legal loop-hole, bascially the courts dont uphold this document, they consider it just a piece of paper. but some of us take what we sign seriously... our word is our bond and when we speak people know that we are truthful about our promises. that is always a good thing. besides, spending time in court fighting soemthing and then appealing because previous cases have gone another way is NOT a wise way to spend your time or money.

so dont fuss with them because you're both right, differnece is you would sign the document, treat the person decently, and move on in life while they will sign the document and not be truly serious about it then have to fight off a court case from a badly abused ex (i.e. who has been tossed out with nothing in a foreign land, who would have to seek help in this foreign land. how does s/he know where to go or from whom to ask help... that's how they end up with "help groups" that will help them burn you)

maybe there arent many of us out there, but some of us do have compassion and care about people even if the relationship did not work out. they're still human beings and if they are dependent upon you it's just cruelty to throw them out with no resources and no help.

i know EVERYONE was shocked at how i treated my ex (also an american) but to expect soemone who has never lived on their own to just miraculously know how to do laundry, grocery shop, pay bills when they've never been taught this before felt like throwing a baby out and telling it to walk. i wouldnt do that no matter how bad he treated me. sure, i protected myself and ever let him step foot back in the house, and wouldnt take him back when he decided two weeks later it was a mistake to leave but never would i throw another human being to the wolves.

just my .02

Very nicely said, it says a lot about you as a person!

[nab 74]

Very nicely said, it says a lot about you as a person!

thanks, it's just how my father brought me up and i had good examples of how to treat others from him and my grandmother.

as for the other poster who mentioned the OP's finacee was unfaithful as if it were an excuse to treat her less than a stray dog well, i'm not a big fan of cheaters since i've been on receiving end of that as well but it's possible she screwed up badly and realized it. she did follow thru with the k-1 so who knows... no one except the OP and his finacee. what i do know is that it would be inhumane to throw her to the street with no resources in a foreign country. i'm not saying he shouldnt protect himself, BTDT and definitely he should! so here a list (most of these would be done without her knowledge, or at least arrangements made without her knowledge):

1. call USCIS

2. call an immigration lawyer

3. call or better go to local police dept, if you live in smaller area this will be more easy (i.e. local county sheriff dept versus a big city police dept) but give them a heads up what is going on, and get the name of the person you speak with there - call them by name, make sure you tell them who you are, where you live. this could be important later and you wnat them to remember you.

"you have a fiancee here on visa and have decided not to marry her after finding out she's a cheater (IME cops hate cheating women ) and you plan on evicting her from the home" and get some advice on what you can/cannot do if she returns to your home and tries to get in. mention to them after you found out she is a cheater you dont want to throw her out on street with no resources so you are going to do x, y, z (whatever you've chosen to do in #6)

4. arrange for a refundable ticket (in case it's not used) on your credit card (so if she tries to cash it in it will go back to your card) for her to return to her country ASAP. let her know about the ticket after you have made announcement in front of everyone (#5).

5. arrange for a (surprise to her) dinner/lunch with several family and friends, announce to them i'm sorry the wedding is off and Suzy-Q-finacee will be returning to her country ASAP. she cant continue to ignore that you are serious.

6. have someone come to stay at the home with her and OP go elsewhere till she leaves or have her stay with a friend/relative or even get her a motel on a weekly/monthly rate up to the time her plane leaves... let her know how much time it is paid for so she knows she needs to either return to her country or set about finding other accommodations if she doesnt take that flight. if you have to get her there by thinking "we are going to a motel for a little change of scenery" then so be it... go out for ice and dont come back call her after leaving and tel her how much time she has there till her plane leaves. make sure she has money for food... motel with a kitchenette would be better if she cooks.

7. arrange for someone to take her to airport... friend, family member, taxi cab (if the latter get documentation = receipt with where he was takign her and date/time)

you can break it off and distance yourself without makign her a victim and you the bad guy which gives her even more room to hang you if she so chooses. and above all "document document document" everything going on. also, make it very clear WHY you are breaking it off with her i.e. "i have decided not to marry suzyQfinacee because it has come to my attention she repeatedly cheated while we were apart and i need in my life someone who is only for me and can be trusted like i can be trusted." (hopefully you are not also a cheater!)

good luck OP and come back to tell us how it went.

[candn 17]

Why bother? She was unfaithful. Not his problem.

On more than one occasion. Let her lover(s) deal with it.

Edited August 21, 2010 by candn

[Darnell 8,478]

crede -

What news for the weekend?

[Darnell 8,478]

hey crede - any news from the weekend?

[paidplayed 1]

You can't have it both ways: allowing them to escape any kind of accountability but at the same time wanting leverage to end her abuse of the system, which includes extorting money from you by refusing to cooperate and making you her ward.

Reporting to USCIS your withdrawal from the process and also the local authorities if she refuses to leave the premises is also important because we often see that dishonest immigrants quickly learn how to use VAWA petitions and false claims of domestic abuse to ruin the life of the U.S. citizen and obtain permanent residency. Get the correct record established instead of allowing her a head-start in making a false one.

If I were in your shoes I would be documenting (in writing, by witness, etc.) that you have offered the ticket home and she is refusing to go, as well as any attempts on your part to accomodate her in terms of temporary shelter & etc. If you think you have problems now, just wait until the cops come with handcuffs to cart you off to prison for false claims that you abused her.

Listen up OP.

This WILL happen! You had better file a restraining order BEFORE she does.

many times it becomes a race to see who files first

[TravellingNomad 12]

i wonder what happened to OP? he never came back to his thread. well if he does come back...i would suggest what one post said. to notify USCIS that he no longer wants to pursue the immigrant visa he filed for her.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

i wonder what happened to OP? he never came back to his thread. well if he does come back...i would suggest what one post said. to notify USCIS that he no longer wants to pursue the immigrant visa he filed for her.

Maybe he's in jail on domestic abuse charges!