UK B!tches Unite!

[Nik+Heather 121]

I still can't stop laughing just thinking about it!!

I LOLed at work!!! Bad Dodi!! At least the coffee had already gone down.

We foster kittens for the humane society/animal welfare league, so I know precisely the stage of kitten getting-around-the-house/furniture development you are referring to, and the effect it has on unprotected "climbing structures" like legs etc....

[Krikit 1,163]

You trust your Brit to cook? Now THAT'S brave!

[Gemmie 142]

I hate when people don't thank you for gifts. Especially when it's consistently not thanked by the same people, across birthdays, Christmas, etc. We just sent my brother a big package of American candy and some gifts for his son who is turning one tomorrow. He called to say he got the package and he was disappointed that there were no strawberry flavours in there. Seriously? These packages cost between $20-40 to even send.

On an up-note, Dodi gave me the first laugh of the day with her Chuck-climbing-up-husband's-#### story.

Edited September 9, 2010 by Gemmie

[TBoneTX 44,679]

I retaliate regularly by using EVERY F'ING (he didn't say F'ING) thing in the kitchen every time I cook, which is basically 6/7 nights a week.

Haha.

'Tis no chortling matter, H-Bone, no man. Mine does that, too, si man, and with mess-creating abandon. Her particular talent is merely looking at spoons and thereby causing them to become dirty, with the result that they have to go into the dishwasher -- of course, pointing the wrong way and, uh, contiguously spooning with their basketmates.

In another it's-a-small-world scene, I learned some months ago that the lucky husband of the excellent Susita ignores S.'s high-tech floor-cleaning devices in favor of using a broom that consists of a rag on a stick. When I learned that, I wrote "Yours does that, TOO?!" and we had a lively exchange about that, si man.

Finally: The dirtiest trick in the world, si man, is to loudly hum or whistle the first 7 notes to "It's a Small World After All" while exiting a crowded elevator.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Dodi gave me the first laugh of the day with her Chuck-climbing-up-husband's-#### story.

Si, man. Interesting here is how when Miss Daffy (silver tabby, miu man) sits on Daddy's lap (average, 13 times/day) to get the inside of each ear scratched, the claws on the corresponding rear leg dig into Daddy's thighs during said scratching, ouch man.

[Nik+Heather 121]

'Tis no chortling matter, H-Bone, no man. Mine does that, too, si man, and with mess-creating abandon. Her particular talent is merely looking at spoons and thereby causing them to become dirty, with the result that they have to go into the dishwasher -- of course, pointing the wrong way and, uh, contiguously spooning with their basketmates.

Well, how is it my fault that eggs benedict requires so many dishes? I mean there's the egg poaching pot, the ham warming pan and the holendaise (Hollandays? Oh, whatever, I give up) pan.

Similarly, there's the rice cooker, the broccoli steaming pan, and the chicken pan...just because he eats it all in one bowl at the end doesn't mean it can all get cooked together! I think what really gets him though is that I don't really like my food to touch, so sometimes I'll use 3 bowls when he uses one plate. I do use the same fork though...

I also simply look at spoons and sometimes assess them as dirty thereby moving them from the drawer to the dishwasher without use...but I think this is a dish washing issue rather than any special super powers.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

1. Well, how is it my fault that eggs benedict requires so many dishes?

2. I also simply look at spoons and sometimes assess them as dirty

You & Mrs. T-B. are in evil, conspiratorial cahoots, si man.

The solution is to do what single men do, si man: Glop everything into one bowl, nuke the glop until it's warm, then eat said glop out of THAT BOWL, duh man. Alternatively, glop everything into one saucepan, cook the glop on the stove until it's warm, then eat said glop out of THAT SAUCEPAN, duh man.

The same utensils are used for dining as were used for preparation, of course man. When the spirit of recycling is applied, one can use the same fork or spoon for an entire week without soiling others, si man. The remnant flavors (excuse us: "flavours") from preceding days add, uh, flavo(u)r to the successive days' dishes, si man.

(If the preceding paragraph invites nausea, then simply allow the cat to tongue-clean each fork or spoon between human bites, si man, especially if said glop is of culinary interest to said cat, si man.)

[Gemmie 142]

I think what really gets him though is that I don't really like my food to touch, so sometimes I'll use 3 bowls when he uses one plate

Is this an American thing (like the holding a knife during each meal is a British thing)? My husband is the same and it drives me nuts. Even if dinner is just chicken pie with fries, he'll hand me a plate with fries, a bowl with pie in it, and just a fork!

[Dodi 69]

I'm the same way. If the juice from my veggies runs into something else and makes it mushy or makes it taste like the veggies I don't like it at all. I will tilt my plate to make it run back before it reaches anything else. I'd rather have 3 small bowls than one big plate any day. (I even have square bowls that neatly fit into my square dinner plates, each one taking up 1/4. THANK YOU PAMPERED CHEF!! I know... OCD.)

Edited September 9, 2010 by Dodi

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Is this an American thing (like the holding a knife during each meal is a British thing)? My husband is the same and it drives me nuts. Even if dinner is just chicken pie with fries, he'll hand me a plate with fries, a bowl with pie in it, and just a fork!

Don't think it's American -- my parents slop it all on one plate. I think of them since I got so muddled in the years I spent in Britain that I no longer have any clue what's American and what's British. My boyfriend is forever pointing things out, like when I say "let's go to yours." I had no idea that Americans would say "let's go to your place (or house, apartment, whatever)" instead. Then there was the day when I could not remember the American for "multi-storey car park." Luckily enough of what I say is intelligible!

[marlea 84]

Don't think it's American -- my parents slop it all on one plate. I think of them since I got so muddled in the years I spent in Britain that I no longer have any clue what's American and what's British. My boyfriend is forever pointing things out, like when I say "let's go to yours." I had no idea that Americans would say "let's go to your place (or house, apartment, whatever)" instead. Then there was the day when I could not remember the American for "multi-storey car park." Luckily enough of what I say is intelligible!

Agreed! I have been back from the UK for almost 5 years, spent 3 there, but still say that I "can't be bothered", something is "brilliant", I'm "knackered", and that things are "rubbish". I can't think of any other way to say what I want to say other than to use those phrases. I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I said for the first 25 years of my life instead...

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Agreed! I have been back from the UK for almost 5 years, spent 3 there, but still say that I "can't be bothered", something is "brilliant", I'm "knackered", and that things are "rubbish". I can't think of any other way to say what I want to say other than to use those phrases. I can't, for the life of me, figure out what I said for the first 25 years of my life instead...

I moved there when I was practically a zygote, knew no Americans the dozen years I lived there and learned early on to do as the locals do or keep my big, fat American gob shut. This is a lesson I should learn again, since I am stubbornly resisting reintegration.

[marlea 84]

I moved there when I was practically a zygote, knew no Americans the dozen years I lived there and learned early on to do as the locals do or keep my big, fat American gob shut. This is a lesson I should learn again, since I am stubbornly resisting reintegration.

As you should -- resist integration, that is. Life is more fun with variety, and personally, I know that many people find my strange hybrid of British/American-ness amusing.

Edited September 9, 2010 by marlea

[Gemmie 142]

I find it amusing when Bill uses British phrases in the wrong context, but rather than being able to explain why it sounds weird, I just laugh instead. Like one time when we were having a serious disagreement and he said I was being a "selfish prat". I thik only old men say that nowadays.

Or when he'll say he "can't be arsed" but puts on a British accent for the one phrase, even when he tries not to.

Edited September 9, 2010 by Gemmie

[marlea 84]

I learned quickly what words I wasn't able to say in my American accent. W@anker and muppet don't work at all. It's the hard "r"s and "t"'s make me sound ridiculous, as does putting on a fake accent.