Absurd

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I think we all just need a hug. Let's just calm down, get off our high horses(yes, including me) and go back to civil discourse.

That means you too, Rob.

[Mags 112]

I think we all just need a hug. Let's just calm down, get off our high horses(yes, including me) and go back to civil discourse.

That means you too, Rob.

Do you have beer?

Edited August 15, 2010 by Mags

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Not yet, Mags. Still apartment hunting.

[Pooky 3,825]

Do you have beer?

Beer Schmeer!

Today's bunfight needs something stronger.

Pass the vodka and chips.

[Mags 112]

Beer Schmeer!

Today's bunfight needs something stronger.

Pass the vodka and chips.

I prefer curry on my chips, preferably after a few beers! But, if voddy is what you want then I say enjoy!

Not yet, Mags. Still apartment hunting.

Hope it's going okay, my dear.

[Pooky 3,825]

I prefer curry on my chips, preferably after a few beers! But, if voddy is what you want then I say enjoy!

The curry is for when the drinking is done

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

This, however, is not the same as a smackdown for asking a QUESTION, a simple question related to my immigration paperwork. That is what the thread was about on Friday (or was it Thursday? my days are running together at the moment). The context is completely different, and that's what I'm talking about. Some threads are started for an antagonistic and/or attention-seeking result. That's what happens in those threads. Mine was started in a purely inquisitive manner, looking for someone who had RECENTLY (in the last few weeks) received an interview date to respond. That's all I wanted. The answers I was getting weren't what I was asking for, because they were pointing me to outdated timelines, nothing recent. I wasn't looking for someone to blow sunshine up my a$$, just an answer that was relevant to the question I was asking.

It's not?

You judged Melissa.

People judged you in your thread.

See what happens when you throw stones?

[Dodi 69]

Yet again Johnny steps in, and yet again he's not exactly accurate. Earlier you said you weren't rude to me in the posted argument between us. That wasn't true either, since it was YOUR posts that were removed from the thread, not mine. Did you read the thread in question (from Thursday) when it was open? No. You have no idea what was going on. Thanks.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I have tried to stay out of these threads, because it does very little good trying to convince people who think they are right, but as I am Dodi's other half, and I have had to endure the rhetoric, so I am now wading in.

First off, please note her name. Just because you aren't familiar with it, doesn't mean you should disrespect her by altering it. Getting a name right takes no effort at all, so lets not pretend we didn't see it correctly. After all, if you can miss someone's name, perhaps there is a lot more you missed in their post.

Secondly, as an Englishman, I know how tempting it is to do nothing when things are wrong. We don't enjoy complaining, and we put up with bad service because of it. If the embassies are so backlogged that they can't answer a phone without the whole system being impacted adversely, then they need more staff. If anything we should be calling them more often to show them how inadequately staffed they are. We have no choice but to go through their system. It's not like we can go to a different embassy if we get bad service. So it is absolutely correct that we demand the best service at all times. And God knows, the amount the whole thing costs, you'd think they could afford to have a memebr of staff permanently answering enquiries like these.

Do not be so naive as to think changes cannot and should not be made. If something is wrong, then fix it. Don't complain that it's always been like this and it will never change. I am really not bothered what has happened in the past. I am only interested in how things are now. As VisaJourney gets more and more attention, visitors and members it has no choice but to change. And that should mean some method to bar or at least withdraw individual comments that are derogatory, hurtful, unnecessary or off subject. And frequent offenders should have their status removed.

In my past vocation I have had direct contact with bullying in all it's forms, including the recent rise of internet bullying. Anonymous, and incidious, this form of gang bullying can be seen everywhere from Facebook to sadly VisaJourney. Most bully's don't have a clue their behaviour is hurtful, most bully's feel that their victim is weak, or lacking in something, which is why the victim gets picked on in the first place. Most bully's believe this is their place, and others have no right being there, especially if they are new. Most bully's think nothing will ever change. And most bully's think it's all just a joke, and people should lighten up.

This site has had its fair share of bullying, and it doesn't take very much research to see who they are.

It serves no common good to bully on this site. The people after information are worried and nervous. Many of them have spent years trying to be together with their partners, and they need support and help. If you cannot say what you want in a way that is respectful then you should keep it to yourself. Always.

I hope that the moderating team look very carefully into the powers they have to stamp out these clique of bullying. I really would like to see a system that allows people to rewrite posts that get legitamate complaints, so that threads are protected, and readers can add without fear of being told they are to receive "smack-downs" or any other ridiculous and childish bullying technique.

As a resource, VisaJourney is invaluable, but the behaviour of individuals can and should be monitored and changed. And if you believe you don't want to be a member of that kind of forum, then go start your own, where you can enjoy as much bullying as you like. VisaJourney is for everyone, not for the precious priviledged few.

Beeps... Get it right please

Beeps -

USCIS and DOS are the way they are. Period. They have the amount of staff they think they need and that's just the way it is. They man their phones the way they like and too bad if we don't like it.

Believe it or not the system is actually much faster and more customer friendly than it used to be. And you'll only find the so-called "legacy members" who can attest to that.

I won't disagree with you that cliques and bullying exists on VisaJourney. But they always have. Short of pornography, Admin is not interested in getting rid of prolific posters, no matter what kind of content they write. It takes a near act of Congress and a major hue-and-cry for people to be shown the door.

As far as your Dodi goes, whether you like it or not, I think she has a few lessons to learn about forum etiquette herself. Many of her posts are high-handed and condescending. Also in her eagerness to join the forums, she has been known to give out bad information and to insist she is correct. And that's happened on more than one occasion. This is how I noticed your beloved. When I first noticed her firm insistence that she was correct, I followed her other posts. Yes, I did. That's how "legacy members" teach the new members who are eager to help others. Everyone will make mistakes when they first begin posting. If they can't handle being corrected, well IMO they belong to that population who should be shown the VJ exit.

Yet again Johnny steps in, and yet again he's not exactly accurate. Earlier you said you weren't rude to me in the posted argument between us. That wasn't true either, since it was YOUR posts that were removed from the thread, not mine. Did you read the thread in question (from Thursday) when it was open? No. You have no idea what was going on. Thanks.

Dodi - I know what happened in the thread between you and I. And NO, I was not rude to you. I stand by my assertion in that regard. My posts were removed as a string of conversation.

I would also like to ask you just exactly who you think you are to talk down to others in the manner in which you just spoke to me.

Edited August 15, 2010 by JohnnyQuest

[Dodi 69]

Johnny, I'm speaking to you in the same manner in which you have been speaking to me, and have also done in the past. I'm not talking down to you, I'm stating a fact.

[MelissaJulian 30]

Dodi, I'm sorry if you find my lifestyle offensive. I try not to come on VJ and judge other people because I don't really see what the point is. I have made some comments about other people I now regret, so I'm not perfect. So if you want to judge me, go ahead. I don't know you and you're just another anonymous person on the Internet. I've met a couple of VJ people now and I know they're real, so what those people say to me actually means something. Your fiancé talks about bullying. What do you think you're doing to me? What you said hurt. A lot. Is it my fault I have a different lifestyle than yours? It just seems weird that you're even mentioning it, like you're jealous or something.

I didn't want to get involved in any of this fighting today but I just wanted to say that bullying works both ways. If you are going to make accusations, you should make sure you aren't guilty of the thing you're complaining.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Johnny, I'm speaking to you in the same manner in which you have been speaking to me, and have also done in the past. I'm not talking down to you, I'm stating a fact.

Dodi, I'm sorry if you find my lifestyle offensive. I try not to come on VJ and judge other people because I don't really see what the point is. I have made some comments about other people I now regret, so I'm not perfect. So if you want to judge me, go ahead. I don't know you and you're just another anonymous person on the Internet. I've met a couple of VJ people now and I know they're real, so what those people say to me actually means something. Your fiancé talks about bullying. What do you think you're doing to me? What you said hurt. A lot. Is it my fault I have a different lifestyle than yours? It just seems weird that you're even mentioning it, like you're jealous or something.

I didn't want to get involved in any of this fighting today but I just wanted to say that bullying works both ways. If you are going to make accusations, you should make sure you aren't guilty of the thing you're complaining.

[Dodi 69]

Melissa, I'm not jealous of you in any way. My post was in reference to HappyBunny bringing back to light another recent thread that YOU started. I was reiterating what I had said that was used against me here. I am not judging your lifestyle, I could care less about your lifestyle, or even your life in general. As you said, I don't know you. You're just another anonymous person on the internet. However, your actions and your words on here spoke for you, and to that I replied. When you put your life out here for others to read, it opens up more than you generally bargain for. It was not meant as a personal attack, but a general statement to you that your actions give everyone here the wrong idea about you and your fiance. That is how you come across with the constant belittling that you do on your blog.

[MelissaJulian 30]

Melissa, I'm not jealous of you in any way. My post was in reference to HappyBunny bringing back to light another recent thread that YOU started. I was reiterating what I had said that was used against me here. I am not judging your lifestyle, I could care less about your lifestyle, or even your life in general. As you said, I don't know you. You're just another anonymous person on the internet. However, your actions and your words on here spoke for you, and to that I replied. When you put your life out here for others to read, it opens up more than you generally bargain for. It was not meant as a personal attack, but a general statement to you that your actions give everyone here the wrong idea about you and your fiance. That is how you come across with the constant belittling that you do on your blog.

Why are you even bringing my blog into any of this? I don't post almost anything here in VJ about my life anymore. I keep it on my blog. Another VJ person was told today to write her personal life in a blog and not post it here. So why are you commenting on my blog here? I know I link to mine, but I would like to keep comments about it where they belong (and where I have been told to keep them): on my blog. Why don't you go over there and tell me what you really think about me.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Why are you even bringing my blog into any of this? I don't post almost anything here in VJ about my life anymore. I keep it on my blog. Another VJ person was told today to write her personal life in a blog and not post it here. So why are you commenting on my blog here? I know I link to mine, but I would like to keep comments about it where they belong (and where I have been told to keep them): on my blog. Why don't you go over there and tell me what you really think about me.

Because she's judging you.

But nobody is allowed to judge her for getting all jumpy about an interview date.