Yardie Party!!! Come as you are - Part 1

[MRStee 19]

First, I want say good morning and Happy Friday to everyone hope you all have a exciting safe weekend planned.

Second,I need to vent! Ok I do not know if its my hormones or if I am just tired of Fuckery! However, last night I about exploded on Odean, I even threw divorce papers at him and told him to sign them cause I am done! Here is what happened. I work from 8Am -4Pm Monday thru Friday currently his #### is not working (fine we are dealing with that) I am seven months pregnant and feel like I have the world on my shoulders. I have too Disabled parents that live in Northern Florida and are having their own issues. More then anything I needed my husband yesterday just to listen to me, hear me cry get his advise whatever. However this was not the case. I called several time yesterday and his dumb behind did not answer the phone each time I called. He calls me back at one point to tell me he is going up the road to his friend and he will call me back shortly (that didn't happen) so next I called around 2:30 no answer again around 3 no answer around 4 no answer now when I was calling at these time I wanted to discuss some things and find out if he cooked cause if he hadn't I was stopping to pick up food. Finally about 4:45 I get a call back after I texted him and said what happen you dont know how to work a cell phone or is it just as I am calling? He starts running his mouth at me how dare I send him a text like that blah blah blah he was in a job interview (well that would have been a good thing to tell me don't you all think? and who has a interview that last over 3hrs Bullshit) Anyway I stopped prior to get food and I even got his dumb #### a plate. 5:55 he calls I am just checking on you (I am taking a nap at this point) I said ok I soon come I am just going up the street with Gulla(his friend) 8:30 comes he still not home , I call no answer of course 8:45 He calls back me soon come baby. 9:30 still not there I call hallejeuh he answered the phone first time for the day I said you plann on coming home this evening??? HEHEHE yes baby me soon come. I said where you coming from I said me soon come, I heard you where are you coming from ME SAY ME SOON COME! I said FU and hung up on him. Then I decided I am going to Walmart and changing the locks if he wasnt home by 10. He pulls up in the car with his boy and I said since you are so important to my husband why dont you take him with you cause I currently am not that important this evening . His friend say calm down WAIT he has some good news look at the paper in his hand I said FU and the papers in his hand and walked away. This point Odean come in the house, I am so pissed I want to cut him up and send him back to Jamaica. He wont say a word to me and I keep running off at the mouth, finally that is where I told him to sign the papers and go on his merry little way let his boys support him since they are the ones that always help him out so much and checked for him while he was in JA and all. He refused to sign and left them there. (thank God in a way cause I do love the hell out of this man) but anyway He choose to sleep on the coach and since I couldnt sleep i made so much noise and was turning lights off and on just to get under his skin (yes I know its childish but I wanted to do much more)Anyway about 1:30 he came in the room and came to bed . This morning I get up and get ready for work low and behold guess who gets up not much later after WOW! I almost fell over cause mister sleeps until 11:00 or 12:00 (must be nice right)he asked me for the direction for this place he had to take a test for his job. I politely responded the direction however I had it in me to tell him to call his friend since he was much more important. (I was a good girl and kept my mouth closed for a change).

So that is one. Now the next fight I am sure will come in a few more days. As some of you know he has a so called baby momma that I do not believe the child is his and frankly STUPID is the only one that thinks it is his child. So last week I had about enough of the foolishness from the idiot of a mother the kid has (to be polite) and decided I am doing a DNA at home so I took Odeans tooth brush and I swabbed the kids mouth and I sent it off I should be getting the results next week sometime. I had asked him to do the DNA prior he told me no then I asked again and still told me no, I told him dont be suprise cause I will. He told my mom he would and then he told me no so I did what I had to do. If it is his kid I shut my mouth from this point on if its not well then he has a decision to make.

Ok done for now. Maybe this will bring a little more conversation to the board

Miss-Glad to hear it the surgery went well praying for a fast recovery for you.

MrsTEE- dont worry yourself about the interview it will be fine

Always, first and foremost, please take it easy. You are carrying a life inside you and we want you and the baby to both be healthy. I pray that your parents are okay too and can find relief.

Secondly, I understand where you are coming from with the phone calling. Just try to understand that he is still trying to adjust too and get used to the fact that he is going to be a fadda again. Im going to call you and we will talk mi sista.

Not too sure if you did the right thing with the DNA thing sis. If he kept saying no, im sure his reasoning was valid. Some men don't care if the child is not biologically theirs. They just want to take care of the child, which I find admirable. I see your point of view too why should he keep taking care of a child who may not be his...

Just try to stay calm no matter how much things tick you off. We will talk sis.

[MRStee 19]

Oh and JAP-Congrats cute picture

Gosh! C, TEE and DW I am so sorry to hear of the nosense this stupid Gov. is putting you all through my God they took the money fast but dont want to act fast they all need a Fin slap

Exactly my point. He got everything else but that... what the ?????

[sus 70]

Morning all -

Always - I completely understand your frustration - The not calling and the soon come drives me nuts as well, and is definitely worth battling over and sticking your ground - although it does sound like one positive came out of it all - he got a job?

What concerns me is (1) you are pregnant and cannot be getting that upset or that stressed - it's not good for you or the little one. You need to try to sit down and talk it out BEFORE the next round of fighting comes - and come to terms with some working arrangement for both of you -

Secondly - why did you have divorce papers all drawn up? To me, that's a dangerous line to cross - Because something that you said or did in a fit of anger could really backfire on you - to me the D word is death - I believe in marriage for better or for worse, and if that word comes out I will mean it, no ifs ands or buts - But if you want to be married and want to work things out, I believe you have to truly be careful not to throw those words around in anger.

As for the DNA - I understand your frustration and reasons for doing the test, I might have done the same - But if the test comes back and the child is not biologically his, how are you going to handle that? How do you think he will feel to know that, if he has accepted the child is his - or how will he feel that you did the test when he said no? It takes nothing for a man to be a sperm donor - it takes a lot for a man to be a daddy -

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

JE-I love it ! I wish I was closer I love your work and would hire you in a minute to do my photos when my baby arrives.

Aww ty!!

Where are you?

I have been trying to arrange something where I'd go and do a few sessions at once in different places, should be doing one in Texas at some point and maybe Orlando...

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

BUJU NOT GUILTY!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

[sus 70]

BUJU NOT GUILTY!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Observer is saying Jury just broke for lunch - Haven't seen where the verdict has been read yet?

[Always Blessed 1]

Always, first and foremost, please take it easy. You are carrying a life inside you and we want you and the baby to both be healthy. I pray that your parents are okay too and can find relief.

Secondly, I understand where you are coming from with the phone calling. Just try to understand that he is still trying to adjust too and get used to the fact that he is going to be a fadda again. Im going to call you and we will talk mi sista.

Not too sure if you did the right thing with the DNA thing sis. If he kept saying no, im sure his reasoning was valid. Some men don't care if the child is not biologically theirs. They just want to take care of the child, which I find admirable. I see your point of view too why should he keep taking care of a child who may not be his...

Just try to stay calm no matter how much things tick you off. We will talk sis.

MrsTee- I hear you and I know what you are saying I agree to but this has been a hard pregnancy for me as I been sick for the first 6mnths of it and I know my hormones are out of wack and I just feel like I am second to everything in his life lately, I by no means will tolerate that as I do not deserve it nor does anyone else. I told him from the time we met I do not tolerate nonsense and as of late he is full of it. This man became my best friend we talked about everything and anything time after time,and now he is just being foolish at times. I love myself too much to sit back and take the #######. I understand he is home sick as I can imagine how I would feel if I left eveything behind as well and moved elsewhere, I also bend over backwards for this man and in return I feel like he does not have his priority straight his first priority seems to be friends(so called)

The Dna well I have mixed feelings about it as well as I also agree about a man wanting to take responsibilty but I also see the way this child mother has disrespected just about everyone that is in contact with him and constantly disrespects Odean as well. Once again I am not tolerating that. I also know 110% that I am carrying his child and I want to know (maybe my own selfishness) if this is truly my daughter's brother and if he is going to be supporting this child that indeed it is his and not being taken for a fool.`

Yes mam we will talk ..

[Always Blessed 1]

Morning all -

Always - I completely understand your frustration - The not calling and the soon come drives me nuts as well, and is definitely worth battling over and sticking your ground - although it does sound like one positive came out of it all - he got a job? I am not too sure actually as I didn't even look at the papers or ask I know he had something this morning in regards to the job but not sure what I guess I will know once I get home this evening. What concerns me is (1) you are pregnant and cannot be getting that upset or that stressed - it's not good for you or the little one. You need to try to sit down and talk it out BEFORE the next round of fighting comes - and come to terms with some working arrangement for both of you -Thank you I needed to hear again and again this as I do jump the gun before thinking sometimes and overreact I am guilty of that

Secondly - why did you have divorce papers all drawn up? [color="#008000"]This is a good question I have access to the forms due to a friend that handles divorces on a regular basis, However this does not condone the way I used the papers, I will say I am just tired of feeling second and sometimes I feel as if he is just lying to me whether or not he is not[/color] To me, that's a dangerous line to cross - You are right and looking at it how you explained it It really strikes a nerve but in a good way like a wake up call for me Because something that you said or did in a fit of anger could really backfire on you - to me the D word is death - I believe in marriage for better or for worse, and if that word comes out I will mean it, no ifs ands or buts - But if you want to be married and want to work things out, I believe you have to truly be careful not to throw those words around in anger.Thank you again needed this reality check

As for the DNA - I understand your frustration and reasons for doing the test, I might have done the same - But if the test comes back and the child is not biologically his, how are you going to handle that? Honestly either way I plann on showing him the results and I plann on us coming to some sort of agreement with it, if he wants to remain in the child's life so be it that is his option however the mother at that point in time better be set in her place because she has caused alot of grief and aggravation and he tolerates it cause he wants to see the kid now and its just simply not right or far How do you think he will feel to know that, if he has accepted the child is his - or how will he feel that you did the test when he said no? I am sure if it is not he will be hurt either way he will probably be hurt and has every right to be , I am wrong to a extent i know but i also feel we need to know the truth and that is why i choose to do it this way cause it is eatig me up inside It takes nothing for a man to be a sperm donor - it takes a lot for a man to be a daddy -

Edited September 24, 2010 by Always Blessed

[Always Blessed 1]

Aww ty!!You are very welcome its the truth

Where are you?I am in Fort Lauderdale, however Orlando is not that far and my parents live up that way so this may work

I have been trying to arrange something where I'd go and do a few sessions at once in different places, should be doing one in Texas at some point and maybe Orlando...Please keep me posted

[sus 70]

I am glad you didn't take that the wrong way, Always - it's a hard thing to write and not offend, when it's such a sensitive topic - Plus, I am still in complete claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat mode today, lol so my sensitivity skills are numb!

I understand your frustration, and hope things work out for the best -

On another note, I just want to say how much I appreciate the friendships that have been founded here - I had a situation yesterday with DJ where I got a call from a random person that he was in the hospital, I couldn't get in touch with family or trusted people that I know, didn't know what was going on - And I had yardies pouring out of the woodwork offering to send family, friends, or themselves to the hospital to find out for me. It was overwhelming, and made me truly appreciate the gift that this journey has given all of us - in addition to our spouses / SO (although at the moment, I am wondering if mine is a gift or a curse, lol!)

[Always Blessed 1]

I am glad you didn't take that the wrong way, Always - it's a hard thing to write and not offend, when it's such a sensitive topic - Plus, I am still in complete claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat mode today, lol so my sensitivity skills are numb!

I understand your frustration, and hope things work out for the best -

On another note, I just want to say how much I appreciate the friendships that have been founded here - I had a situation yesterday with DJ where I got a call from a random person that he was in the hospital, I couldn't get in touch with family or trusted people that I know, didn't know what was going on - And I had yardies pouring out of the woodwork offering to send family, friends, or themselves to the hospital to find out for me. It was overwhelming, and made me truly appreciate the gift that this journey has given all of us - in addition to our spouses / SO (although at the moment, I am wondering if mine is a gift or a curse, lol!)

Nope no offense taken at all. I appreciate the feedback as I am not the easiest person to live with and I know this and yes sometimes it is me even when I think I am always right However your second statement I want to second that as all of you are truly a blessing in one shape or form

[My4rmylife 0]

First, I want say good morning and Happy Friday to everyone hope you all have a exciting safe weekend planned.

Second,I need to vent! Ok I do not know if its my hormones or if I am just tired of Fuckery! However, last night I about exploded on Odean, I even threw divorce papers at him and told him to sign them cause I am done! Here is what happened. I work from 8Am -4Pm Monday thru Friday currently his #### is not working (fine we are dealing with that) I am seven months pregnant and feel like I have the world on my shoulders. I have too Disabled parents that live in Northern Florida and are having their own issues. More then anything I needed my husband yesterday just to listen to me, hear me cry get his advise whatever. However this was not the case. I called several time yesterday and his dumb behind did not answer the phone each time I called. He calls me back at one point to tell me he is going up the road to his friend and he will call me back shortly (that didn't happen) so next I called around 2:30 no answer again around 3 no answer around 4 no answer now when I was calling at these time I wanted to discuss some things and find out if he cooked cause if he hadn't I was stopping to pick up food. Finally about 4:45 I get a call back after I texted him and said what happen you dont know how to work a cell phone or is it just as I am calling? He starts running his mouth at me how dare I send him a text like that blah blah blah he was in a job interview (well that would have been a good thing to tell me don't you all think? and who has a interview that last over 3hrs Bullshit) Anyway I stopped prior to get food and I even got his dumb #### a plate. 5:55 he calls I am just checking on you (I am taking a nap at this point) I said ok I soon come I am just going up the street with Gulla(his friend) 8:30 comes he still not home , I call no answer of course 8:45 He calls back me soon come baby. 9:30 still not there I call hallejeuh he answered the phone first time for the day I said you plann on coming home this evening??? HEHEHE yes baby me soon come. I said where you coming from I said me soon come, I heard you where are you coming from ME SAY ME SOON COME! I said FU and hung up on him. Then I decided I am going to Walmart and changing the locks if he wasnt home by 10. He pulls up in the car with his boy and I said since you are so important to my husband why dont you take him with you cause I currently am not that important this evening . His friend say calm down WAIT he has some good news look at the paper in his hand I said FU and the papers in his hand and walked away. This point Odean come in the house, I am so pissed I want to cut him up and send him back to Jamaica. He wont say a word to me and I keep running off at the mouth, finally that is where I told him to sign the papers and go on his merry little way let his boys support him since they are the ones that always help him out so much and checked for him while he was in JA and all. He refused to sign and left them there. (thank God in a way cause I do love the hell out of this man) but anyway He choose to sleep on the coach and since I couldnt sleep i made so much noise and was turning lights off and on just to get under his skin (yes I know its childish but I wanted to do much more)Anyway about 1:30 he came in the room and came to bed . This morning I get up and get ready for work low and behold guess who gets up not much later after WOW! I almost fell over cause mister sleeps until 11:00 or 12:00 (must be nice right)he asked me for the direction for this place he had to take a test for his job. I politely responded the direction however I had it in me to tell him to call his friend since he was much more important. (I was a good girl and kept my mouth closed for a change).

So that is one. Now the next fight I am sure will come in a few more days. As some of you know he has a so called baby momma that I do not believe the child is his and frankly STUPID is the only one that thinks it is his child. So last week I had about enough of the foolishness from the idiot of a mother the kid has (to be polite) and decided I am doing a DNA at home so I took Odeans tooth brush and I swabbed the kids mouth and I sent it off I should be getting the results next week sometime. I had asked him to do the DNA prior he told me no then I asked again and still told me no, I told him dont be suprise cause I will. He told my mom he would and then he told me no so I did what I had to do. If it is his kid I shut my mouth from this point on if its not well then he has a decision to make.

Ok done for now. Maybe this will bring a little more conversation to the board

Miss-Glad to hear it the surgery went well praying for a fast recovery for you.

MrsTEE- dont worry yourself about the interview it will be fine

My reply was simple earlier cause i was at work>>>

I agrees with sus about the divorce papers that is serious talk and not something to throw around>>

The DNA thing i think that will be touchy once you have to reveal the results because you went behind his back and did that maybe he was fine with not knowing and you made the decision for him.

and on the him doing things and you not being a priority that you have to talk out and sometime we all need time away and he is going through emotional stuff as well as you so maybe he didnt know how to tell you he needed space... just remember you have to communicate and take care of yourself

[Always Blessed 1]

My reply was simple earlier cause i was at work>>>

I agrees with sus about the divorce papers that is serious talk and not something to throw around>>

The DNA thing i think that will be touchy once you have to reveal the results because you went behind his back and did that maybe he was fine with not knowing and you made the decision for him.

and on the him doing things and you not being a priority that you have to talk out and sometime we all need time away and he is going through emotional stuff as well as you so maybe he didnt know how to tell you he needed space... just remember you have to communicate and take care of yourself

Thank you Jess. It is serious talk and yes you are both right I agree I was out of order. however at the time it felt right and I did it so all I can do is appologize for my actions, I just dont know how else to get it through to him as of late his skull has seemed so thick and talking until I am blue in the face doesn't help.

The DNA yes I went behind his back and I did let him know I was going to do it just didnt tell him when so he has a idea just dont know I did it already. Yes he was probably fine with not knowing but I am not again maybe my selfishness and the aggravation that came along with it pushed me to it, basically it would have never came up if the mothe rof the child didnt say or do some things and well now its done.

I agree maybe he didnt know how to tell me he needed space for the day but of all days yesterday I needed him more then ever and he didnt even give me the opportunity to say what I needed to and then everything blew up and I had about all I could take, If the shoe were on the other foot and I did something like that I would have been such a horrible person. So its a messed up situation but all in all we will see how it plays out.

[My4rmylife 0]

Thank you Jess. It is serious talk and yes you are both right I agree I was out of order. however at the time it felt right and I did it so all I can do is appologize for my actions, I just dont know how else to get it through to him as of late his skull has seemed so thick and talking until I am blue in the face doesn't help.

The DNA yes I went behind his back and I did let him know I was going to do it just didnt tell him when so he has a idea just dont know I did it already. Yes he was probably fine with not knowing but I am not again maybe my selfishness and the aggravation that came along with it pushed me to it, basically it would have never came up if the mothe rof the child didnt say or do some things and well now its done.

I agree maybe he didnt know how to tell me he needed space for the day but of all days yesterday I needed him more then ever and he didnt even give me the opportunity to say what I needed to and then everything blew up and I had about all I could take, If the shoe were on the other foot and I did something like that I would have been such a horrible person. So its a messed up situation but all in all we will see how it plays out.

I know what you mean sweety but sometimes we all dont realize how our actions affect the one we love ... so i get it just ease yourself and be calm

[sus 70]

You can't blame yourself - all you can do is apologize and move forward - We all do it -

I ripped DJ up down and sideways the other night, knowing full well he's not been feeling well, etc... but I had a horrendous day, PMS, you name it, I had it and I needed to be the one taken care of - I feel awful about it, but you can't change it, you just move on -