we dont have pictures and we haven't been to each other's country

[nab 74]

i am so stressed out reading all these forums and seeing AP after approval and denials and such... really need things to go smoothly, we have been waiting so long before filing, but his education is now completed and i have had many health issues so really need him to get here quickly!

one thing i keep seeing listed as a necessity is photos of the wedding. we have none. we got married via phone and even if i had been there in person no photos would have been allowed. his family was mostly there, father and brothers, though mother of course was not allowed to go to mosque.

we have our nikah nama (notarized by ministry of foreign affairs), have marriage registration certificate/number (where it is filed with govt) and have a city court judge affidavit as well.

as for proof of ongoing relationship, before we were married we had many phone calls and many yahoo calls (thankfully free, i dont know what we would do without them! we would go crazy!!) and since marriage last year we have had a call plan on home phone for when internet is down (500 minutes a month that we usually go over = NOT good!) as well as cell calls for emergency or when i'm out of home if i am missing him too much (way too expensive) and of course free yahoo calls every day pretty much 16+hours a day on days i'm home (ok we are weird but soemtimes we even nap "together" we cant stand to be apart!) and some days less if we're fussing or are outside home.

thankfully i have multiple computers/laptops and can set him up wherever i am in house and we spend time together like that... he uses bluetooth on his end so he also isnt tethered to computer. most days it's like he is right here except he just isnt

anyway, we have no plane ticket stubs, no pictures together (neither of us are wild about photos in first place so wouldnt have any, or many, even if i were there)... neither of us have many photos in general!

he is part of our every day life, he guides and counsels our child (my child from previous marriage, divorced in 2003) and he is such a support to me daily.

his tourist visa was denied last year, to come see me in person before we married, and i cannot travel there due to health issues (although if i could have i dont think it proper for me to travel there alone before we were married but at this time i would travel there alone if i had the finances and health!)

it kills me to think that this might mess up our immigration visa because we've never been physically together yet . it was a sacrifice we were willing to make but now i am so afraid this will cause a denial!

i DO have a letter from my doctor stating i cannot travel (written last year and could get an updated one for this year if needed) and he has the visa denial (they didnt believe he had enough holding him there to return to Pakistan after the visit but he would not have risked his education when he only had less than a year to go!!)...

would that be sufficient 'proof' to them why we have not been to each other's countries?

`

if you have any other ideas of things we could use as proof of marriage/ongoing relationship... we have our feelings but those cant be shown on paper

[daboyz 36]

Not to be cruel, but I don't ever see that being approved at the consulate. Especially in Islamabad. I don't think they would approve your petition if your SO was from Canada, let alone Pakistan. Even a K-1 requires having met within the last 2 years.

Edited August 6, 2010 by daboyz

[Alex356 0]

Ok, so are you actually legally married? I didn't know you could do that by phone. If you're not legally married, I think you can just do the K-1 (fiance) visa but you still would need to meet in person. Maybe he could meet you in Canada?

Just a word of (unsolicited, I know I'm sorry!) relationship advice-- you really need to meet in person before you decide if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. There are quirks and habits that come out when you're physically with a person for days, or even months or years. Not all bad, just things you should know about before you make a commitment like that

[nab 74]

Not to be cruel, but I don't ever see that being approved at the consulate. Especially in Islamabad. I don't think they would approve your petition if your SO was from Canada, let alone Pakistan. Even a K-1 requires having met within the last 2 years.

acually the k-1 requires it but i dont believe the k-3 does because on line 17/18 for the k-3 those questions, for a spouse, are answered with N/A.

so back to topic, do you have any helpful suggestions on other items we could use to show ongoing relationship and a substitution for wedding photos? (even if i had been there i would not have been at the mosque and there would have been no photos.)

Ok, so are you actually legally married? I didn't know you could do that by phone. If you're not legally married, I think you can just do the K-1 (fiance) visa but you still would need to meet in person. Maybe he could meet you in Canada?

Just a word of (unsolicited, I know I'm sorry!) relationship advice-- you really need to meet in person before you decide if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. There are quirks and habits that come out when you're physically with a person for days, or even months or years. Not all bad, just things you should know about before you make a commitment like that

yes, we ARE legally married. his mother suggested it when his visa was denied; surprised me too (pleasantly) to find out we could do that.

And thanks for your concern but we both know each other pretty well, we've known each other for quite awhile before marriage ... we were friends first before realizing we love each other. that was a bit of a surprise becasue i never expected to ever marry again and then when i realized i had fallen in love with him i didnt say anything and actually tried to push him away but right after that he also realized his feelings and proposed! we have always been on same wavelength and i love him dearly!

we have same life goals, similar upbringing... weird huh? Pakistani and USC, but we were both brought up very strict morals, private educations, and so many similar interests.

and yes, i've been married before so understand about quirks and habits. we are both very patient people in general and definitely value our relationship enough to be patient, loving and kind to each other. and actually we spend more time "together" daily than most couples so i think i can tolerate him ... for the rest of my life

originally he wanted me to move there but i just cant/wont do that... i'm hoping my own country/govt doesnt force me to do that

[nab 74]

(sorry, i didnt respond to your canada thing... you must have missed = he cannot get a tourist visa, am assuming he would need that for canada just like he would for USA, and i cannot travel due to health or i would have already been over there)

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You can't file a K3 until after you file an I 130 and in the I 130 instructions on the first page, right hand side under the title WHO MAY NOT USE THIS FORM Item 4 4. A husband or wife, if you and your spouse were not both physically present at the marriage ceremony, and the marriage was not consummated

If you have not consummated your marriage you have no valid relationship to file for. If you can't file the I 130 you can't file the K3 forms that follow because that form requires proof of an open I 130

[nab 74]

You can't file a K3 until after you file an I 130 and in the I 130 instructions on the first page, right hand side under the title WHO MAY NOT USE THIS FORM Item 4 4. A husband or wife, if you and your spouse were not both physically present at the marriage ceremony, and the marriage was not consummated

If you have not consummated your marriage you have no valid relationship to file for. If you can't file the I 130 you can't file the K3 forms that follow because that form requires proof of an open I 130

we have filed a i-130, as well as i-129f... both were accepted and RFE is gone from our case status. i am just concerned we may need to show more at interview level...

back to topic, any suggestions on what additional things we can show other than wedding pictures? and what other items (other than massive amounts of call logs) to show ongoing relationship?

thanks

[MalaysianGirl 26]

Hie nab, I'm just wondering - you received NOA2 for both your I129F and I130 petitions WITHOUT showing plane ticket stubs and any pictures whatsoever?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Per your time line you don't have an NOA2 yet on either petition and you are clearly not eligible to have filed the I 130. I can't see any way that the I 130 will be approved and without an approve-able I 130 there is no way the I129F is going to be approved either. There have been people that have tried to get visas without meeting and have had to prove that not only could the USC not travel to the other country but that the USC was unable to travel ANYWHERE such as Canada or Mexico to meet their intended. I think you are setting yourself up for a big let down. The directions say you were NOT eligible to file the I130 and you can't file the I129F for a K3 if you aren't eligible to file the I130.

[nab 74]

Hie nab, I'm just wondering - you received NOA2 for both your I129F and I130 petitions WITHOUT showing plane ticket stubs and any pictures whatsoever?

Per your time line you don't have an NOA2 yet on either petition and you are clearly not eligible to have filed the I 130. I can't see any way that the I 130 will be approved and without an approve-able I 130 there is no way the I129F is going to be approved either. There have been people that have tried to get visas without meeting and have had to prove that not only could the USC not travel to the other country but that the USC was unable to travel ANYWHERE such as Canada or Mexico to meet their intended. I think you are setting yourself up for a big let down. The directions say you were NOT eligible to file the I130 and you can't file the I129F for a K3 if you aren't eligible to file the I130.

to both of you: nowhere have i claimed to have received APPROVAL on I-130, i said USCIS ACCEPTED it.

NigeriaorBust: i believe i was very clear in my OP regarding my health. if you cant answer the thread question, please stop trying to hijack tread. i am not here to debate whether my health issues are acceptable proof to you, all that matters is USCIS, NVC and embassy. i'm certian they will accept my medical records.

i'm already stressed out enough, just asking for suggestions on additional items which can be used to show ongoing relationship when not living together and what additional items can be used when there are no wedding photos which eveyrone seems to place so much importance. my first marriage there is not one photo, and i never gave it a thought in my life till tonight ... i've just never been a photo hound and my husband is same way. like i've said, but will repeat, even if i had been there i would not have been at mosque so there would have been no photos. our child did take a few photos of me for my husband throughout that day because it was a very special day but i doubt that is what they are asking for when they say "wedding photos" and my husband deleted the few photos his brothers took of him when he returned to his parents after the ceremony.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I am not hijacking the thread and if you really want to know what to prepare for my best guess would be a letter of denial before the petition ever gets out of the country. If not then certainly it will never pass the interview stage, because of the fact your don't have a positionable relationship as far as USCIS rules are concerned. The only way I would think it is salvageable would be to get the marriage consummated any way possible before the interview. You may not be able to travel but the instructions for filing the I130 are pretty clear and you fall into the WHO MAY NOT USE THIS form category. Your are looking for advise on non existing photos when you should be more worried about creating a relationship that will allow you to file the petition in the first place. At the moment you would have better luck filing a fiance visa and requesting a wavier of the 2 year meeting requirement. Ignoring the filing rules is never a wise thing. It is hard enough to get a visa from your consulate following the rules. Your proxy marriage isn't valid for filing purposes until it has been consummated. So the proof you need to come up with is that the two of you have done just that. Without that your chance of getting a visa are about 0

[nab 74]

I am not hijacking the thread and if you really want to know what to prepare for my best guess would be a letter of denial before the petition ever gets out of the country. If not then certainly it will never pass the interview stage, because of the fact your don't have a positionable relationship as far as USCIS rules are concerned. The only way I would think it is salvageable would be to get the marriage consummated any way possible before the interview. You may not be able to travel but the instructions for filing the I130 are pretty clear and you fall into the WHO MAY NOT USE THIS form category. Your are looking for advise on non existing photos when you should be more worried about creating a relationship that will allow you to file the petition in the first place. At the moment you would have better luck filing a fiance visa and requesting a wavier of the 2 year meeting requirement. Ignoring the filing rules is never a wise thing. It is hard enough to get a visa from your consulate following the rules. Your proxy marriage isn't valid for filing purposes until it has been consummated. So the proof you need to come up with is that the two of you have done just that. Without that your chance of getting a visa are about 0

incorrect info

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

Nab, I know it is not what you want to hear, but all the others are correct. To be allowed to file for a spousal visa, you must have either married in person, or if over the phone, then that marriage must have been consumated before filing. Your petition will be denied. I am very sorry, but those are the laws and policies of getting a visa.

[Ihavequestions 419]

The pictures of the wedding that everyone talks about so much aren't to prove that a marriage happened, they prove the couple were together and show the extent of family/friend knowledge/involvement in the relationship.

Why wouldn't you have been allowed to attend your own nikah (signing) ceremony?

[Raluca805 1]

we have filed a i-130, as well as i-129f... both were accepted and RFE is gone from our case status. i am just concerned we may need to show more at interview level...

back to topic, any suggestions on what additional things we can show other than wedding pictures? and what other items (other than massive amounts of call logs) to show ongoing relationship?

thanks

You are concerned cause you understand the way this process works, and you understand the reasons why a person ends up having a final interview. Look around you, look at your case and try to answer yourself this question '' any suggestions on what additional things we can show for ongoing relationship?'' WHAT exactly do you have of you and your husband together besides a phone marriage?? What exactly did you do TOGETHER? HOW can a CO see the legitimacy and the ''true big love'' between people that never met?

To answer your question, usually people gather pictures, conversations,plane tickets,gifts receipts,any proof of interaction with the family in law, and there can be many other things.These things are almost inevitable to come out , when a real normal RELATIONSHIP exists.

Good luck to you and please keep us posted, i really wish the best for everyone going thrue this process.