Experience so far

[Andrew + Bethany 4]

I moved over in May to south west Missouri. I don't think you could find many parts of the USA that could be more different culturally to the UK. It isn't too much smaller than the size of the UK, but it's population is less than 6 million, with well over half of that in just two cities - Kansas City and St Louis! I grew up in the urbanised Midlands of England, and then moved South where I lived between Brighton and London and was a frequent visitor to both. I loved the easy public transport and hustle and bustle of big cities.

I live in a city of around 70,000, but you need to travel more than an hour before reaching another place of the same size. But I find myself enjoying the differences a lot. It's interesting having to find my feet in such a different place. I've felt trapped a couple of times, but then some friends took me over to another, slightly larger city about an hour away and that helped with my cabin fever. I'm firmly a fan of temperate climates so England used to suit me to a tee. However, Missouri just has plain extreme weather. Storms the likes of which I've never seen, with the most incredible lightening and noisiest thunder. And tornadoes. I get amused by the weekly testing of the tornado sirens. Wasn't quite as amused when they actually went off one night during a large thunder storm, but nothing happened and I'm used to the idea of them now - never even thought about them in the UK unless I watched an 'extreme weather' program on TV! Hah! Also, yesterday was 105 with 98% humidity. Blech!!! And yet, even though it could hardly be more different, (and for the worse for my preferences) I even find myself starting to enjoy it now that I've accepted I will just sweat, no matter what. Plus they do air conditioning great over here!

Foodwise I love American food so am thoroughly enjoying that! Plus my wife likes the English food that she tried when visiting me over there and we usually find ways to make those sorts of dishes. Plus there is a shop that imports a few English necessities near us - she doesn't go without Ready Brek, and I get to have my Bisto gravy and salad cream! I can't stand the shop bread here, it's too sweet, but then we make our own and I'm actually becoming quite good at that! I can't work so I bake...

I'm a christian so I go to church and have easily made friends there, so I have a slowly growing social circle which has helped the transition immensely. However, I think that I would be able to make friends over here quite easily without that factor - my accent begins conversations every time I go out to the shops or walk around a bit. One thing I love about this place is how open and friendly most people are. Sometimes my whole day gets brightened by a cheerful encounter at Aldi or Target. Oh, and Aldi does an orange cheddar which isn't half bad! I was worried I'd miss out on decent cheese since we'd failed to find a cheap enough cheddar on my previous visits. I can't do without the stuff, it's my lifes blood!

I've had a couple bouts of homesickness, mainly missing family and friends or the gorgeous south downs, but it is manageable. Plus family and friends here are understanding and like to help me out and make me feel more at home here, but without trying to disqualify that which I have left behind. Plus I find that if I accept the pain of not having close ones around me, but also accept that I have been blessed with new close ones around me and new things to enjoy, it really helps. Pain is just a part of the process, and not even a horrible one at times. It can be nice to become tearfully sentimental with people who aren't a part of it - I dunno, maybe thats just me. But I enjoy having fond memories of the UK, and being able to share them with people who haven't experienced it.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this to let people who haven't made the jump yet that it's something that is very positive if you jump with an open and receptive mind. I can't stay with all my english preferences in a new country, I can just find USA preferences and enjoy memories or the occasional treat of English preferences I think I also needed to write this for myself since currently I am in a homesick phase

Enjoy VJers!

Edited August 5, 2010 by Andrew + Bethany

[patient2010 93]

I moved over in May to south west Missouri. I don't think you could find many parts of the USA that could be more different culturally to the UK. It isn't too much smaller than the size of the UK, but it's population is less than 6 million, with well over half of that in just two cities - Kansas City and St Louis! I grew up in the urbanised Midlands of England, and then moved South where I lived between Brighton and London and was a frequent visitor to both. I loved the easy public transport and hustle and bustle of big cities.

I live in a city of around 70,000, but you need to travel more than an hour before reaching another place of the same size. But I find myself enjoying the differences a lot. It's interesting having to find my feet in such a different place. I've felt trapped a couple of times, but then some friends took me over to another, slightly larger city about an hour away and that helped with my cabin fever. I'm firmly a fan of temperate climates so England used to suit me to a tee. However, Missouri just has plain extreme weather. Storms the likes of which I've never seen, with the most incredible lightening and noisiest thunder. And tornadoes. I get amused by the weekly testing of the tornado sirens. Wasn't quite as amused when they actually went off one night during a large thunder storm, but nothing happened and I'm used to the idea of them now - never even thought about them in the UK unless I watched an 'extreme weather' program on TV! Hah! Also, yesterday was 105 with 98% humidity. Blech!!! And yet, even though it could hardly be more different, (and for the worse for my preferences) I even find myself starting to enjoy it now that I've accepted I will just sweat, no matter what. Plus they do air conditioning great over here!

Foodwise I love American food so am thoroughly enjoying that! Plus my wife likes the English food that she tried when visiting me over there and we usually find ways to make those sorts of dishes. Plus there is a shop that imports a few English necessities near us - she doesn't go without Ready Brek, and I get to have my Bisto gravy and salad cream! I can't stand the shop bread here, it's too sweet, but then we make our own and I'm actually becoming quite good at that! I can't work so I bake...

I'm a christian so I go to church and have easily made friends there, so I have a slowly growing social circle which has helped the transition immensely. However, I think that I would be able to make friends over here quite easily without that factor - my accent begins conversations every time I go out to the shops or walk around a bit. One thing I love about this place is how open and friendly most people are. Sometimes my whole day gets brightened by a cheerful encounter at Aldi or Target. Oh, and Aldi does an orange cheddar which isn't half bad! I was worried I'd miss out on decent cheese since we'd failed to find a cheap enough cheddar on my previous visits. I can't do without the stuff, it's my lifes blood!

I've had a couple bouts of homesickness, mainly missing family and friends or the gorgeous south downs, but it is manageable. Plus family and friends here are understanding and like to help me out and make me feel more at home here, but without trying to disqualify that which I have left behind. Plus I find that if I accept the pain of not having close ones around me, but also accept that I have been blessed with new close ones around me and new things to enjoy, it really helps. Pain is just a part of the process, and not even a horrible one at times. It can be nice to become tearfully sentimental with people who aren't a part of it - I dunno, maybe thats just me. But I enjoy having fond memories of the UK, and being able to share them with people who haven't experienced it.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this to let people who haven't made the jump yet that it's something that is very positive if you jump with an open and receptive mind. I can't stay with all my english preferences in a new country, I can just find USA preferences and enjoy memories or the occasional treat of English preferences I think I also needed to write this for myself since currently I am in a homesick phase

Enjoy VJers!

swww I hope you get over your homesickness soon. Welcome and glad you are enjoying southwest missouri I can only imagine how different it is there I live in Missouri too and have traveled that way before and I am suprised that people can live in small communities like that. Again hope your transition gets better as the days go on!!!!

[Gemmie 142]

Nice to hear about your experiences so far.

I'm always interested in how culturally different things are, not just between countries, but between states.

[Alex356 0]

I'm really glad it's gone pretty well for you so far. My fiance (also from the UK) has been here about a month now and is just settling into a routine. Like you, he's made a few friends but at a local pub (we go to a church too but just haven't made any church friends yet!).

I laughed at the tornado thing. He gets all excited and puts it in his Facebook status to impress the UK people when there's a tornado warning lol

One thing he really misses is OXO cubes, he brought some in his suitcase but they only last for so many Sunday roasts!

It's weird....being together in person, and having the FIANCE VISA was like ALL we wanted! And we kind of thought wow everything will be perfect when we have that... and now that he's here we talk about him missing things in the UK like his job and family! We just are like well, I guess with a relationship like ours you just have to make sacrifices. Haha that sounds soppy (picking up the British words already) it is getting late....

[Captain Oates 911]

Been here full time almost 3 years now

Lived in Wisconsin, Florida and now Washington State

This place has a really nice climate - 300 days blue skies and 8 inches rain pa

15% humidity so it feels really nice at 90 degrees. I used to almost pass out at 70 degrees in England as I can't take humidity

No tornados, no hurricanes and well back from the coast so no earthquakes so far.

The homesickness comes in bouts and can re-appear at any time. Many 'returners' forums have people who have been abroad for 10 years or more

The big test is your first BIG argument with your spouse or being fired etc. It's natural then to want to run for the familiar. The next morning, the sun is shining and it's ok again.

American food loses it's novelty and becomes dire

I go back to the UK every 3 months as I am retired. That kills the home sickness and I can get some decent English food (Karahi Gosht)

Religion is not my cup of tea so it's a problem for me - but you are a christian so you have really struck gold here and it will be superb to be away from the likes of me

Welcome and take it slowly and you will be fine. Don't get to thinking it's too good or you will have a correction at some stage.

I try and take the good from both countries and avoid the bad. It's greedy to have the best from two continents but it's the way to go

I used to think I was English but now, with the perspective from here, I realise I am British.

[JulianMelissa 52]

Foodwise I love American food so am thoroughly enjoying that!

I don't know how 'homesick' I'll be, but you and I disagree on this major point, mate. Every time I'm abroad, it's the food that makes me miss England the most. I've yet to find a place that can cook up a proper English breakfast, or any English fare for that matter, but L.A. is a big city so I am hopeful.

[Nina~ 431]

I go back to the UK every 3 months as I am retired. That kills the home sickness and I can get some decent English food (Karahi Gosht)

Ahem, when did Karahi Gosht become English food?

[Captain Oates 911]

Ahem, when did Karahi Gosht become English food?

Chicken tikka masala is the most popular dish in England - and has been for many years

Patel is the 3rd most common surname in the London phone book.

The Americans who live in the sticks have no idea what they are missing

Edited August 6, 2010 by saywhat

[Captain Oates 911]

I don't know how 'homesick' I'll be, but you and I disagree on this major point, mate. Every time I'm abroad, it's the food that makes me miss England the most. I've yet to find a place that can cook up a proper English breakfast, or any English fare for that matter, but L.A. is a big city so I am hopeful.

When I go back to England, I go in Morrison's and I see egg custards and cheshire cheese and pork pies and bacon made from meat not fat ! I see currant teacakes and cockles and mussels for 99 pence ! and fish for NOTHING compared to US prices. Icelandic haddock, not funny coloured pond goldfish... and on and on... they don't even sell whole chickens in this town.

I try and stick with porridge and shredded wheat and chicken breast rather than American food which is calorie central. I live a mile from a Walmart so maintaining my sylph like European shape is very important as the proof of the alternative is plain to see.

One tip to the arriver - you will notice that Americans are VERY polite and of course GUSHING. If you don't gush back you are a snotty aloof Brit and not polite - so be warned and lay it on thick. It makes me queesy to do it but it pays. When in Rome, sell your culture short.

[JulianMelissa 52]

When I go back to England, I go in Morrison's and I see egg custards and cheshire cheese and pork pies and bacon made from meat not fat ! I see currant teacakes and cockles and mussels for 99 pence ! and fish for NOTHING compared to US prices. Icelandic haddock, not funny coloured pond goldfish... and on and on... they don't even sell whole chickens in this town.

You're making me homesick, and I haven't even left England yet!

One tip to the arriver - you will notice that Americans are VERY polite and of course GUSHING. If you don't gush back you are a snotty aloof Brit and not polite - so be warned and lay it on thick. It makes me queesy to do it but it pays. When in Rome, sell your culture short.

I find being the 'snotty aloof Brit' works in my favour, actually.

[Captain Oates 911]

I find being the 'snotty aloof Brit' works in my favour, actually.

Not with my yanky wife it doesn't ! I get a bunch of fives up my bracket.

Especially when I go "What ! the car drug him down the road ! - what kind of pidgin English is that !"

[Gemmie 142]

I don't know how 'homesick' I'll be, but you and I disagree on this major point, mate. Every time I'm abroad, it's the food that makes me miss England the most. I've yet to find a place that can cook up a proper English breakfast, or any English fare for that matter, but L.A. is a big city so I am hopeful.

Yeah, I'm not big on the food in the US either. Too much corn syrup, sugar, and fat. I miss fresh fruit that can be shipped from Europe quickly, so I'm not told things are "out of season".

The Americans are great for coffee though. Yummy.

I used to think I was English but now, with the perspective from here, I realise I am British.

Please elaborate.

Edited August 6, 2010 by Gemmie

[Captain Oates 911]

Yeah, I'm not big on the food in the US either. Too much corn syrup, sugar, and fat. I miss fresh fruit that can be shipped from Europe quickly, so I'm not told things are "out of season".

The Americans are great for coffee though. Yummy.

Please elaborate.

Well I have spent a lot of time in Wales and Scotland - yes and N Ireland too.

In Wales and Scotland I took some serious abuse but now I have realised that these are a minority of nutty nationalists like they have in the US and I saw the Scottish George Galloway on Youtube and I was so proud of him that I decided to be British. I wouldn't go so far as becoming Scottish but yeah the Welsh at Rourke's drift against the Zulus etc

yes I am British again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyyGoPerzWc

[CoffeeMuse 5]

People have been mentioning American food, but what I think I've managed to get my English fiancee hooked on is Mexican food! Yum! I don't know if it helps or not, but I'm not stuck out in a tiny back water town and I've been to many places and countries so hopefully that will help my Geordie hinny adapt to this crazy place!

[Nik+Heather 121]

People have been mentioning American food, but what I think I've managed to get my English fiancee hooked on is Mexican food! Yum! I don't know if it helps or not, but I'm not stuck out in a tiny back water town and I've been to many places and countries so hopefully that will help my Geordie hinny adapt to this crazy place!

I think the key with the food is to not focus so much on trying to find/replicate favorites, but to explore into new tastes and dishes and find different and new favorites here. Obviously we've got some tasty stuff here what with this obesity epidemic...When you find you really miss proper baked beans or Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, then get some brought over with the next visiting relative, or keep some stashed which was brought over from the last trip...Heck, I'm sure that even in the UK you couldn't find a second restaurant to replicate your favorite dish from the local place down the road, let alone trying to find it in another country.

Also, I find mother in laws are great resources for new husbands' favorite recipes. whew.