Dinh Hon/Dam Hoi requirement

[tcTTct 37]

When Marc understands someone's situation (i.e., they've shared everything with him) then I have never known him to give advise that wasn't dead on. That doesn't mean he can always predict what will happen. Nobody can do that.

You'll have to share a little more about what Marc advised before we can give any opinions.

He feels that my case would benefit from getting married first as there are a lot of rejections for K1 from the HCMC consulate, and that I may have a bump in the road but will be OK. He also said the guard is changing in the consulate and things may get easier in the future.

[ScottThuy 140]

Marc definitely knows the consulate in HCMC better than any other immigration attorney alive. That said, he can't pull fluffy bunny rabbits out of his hat. There are plenty of people who have gone to Marc with tough immigration problems, they followed his advice to the letter, and they still failed. Marc can advise on how best to prepare, based on his extensive experience and knowledge of immigration law, but if your fiancee ends up facing Satan himself at the interview window (I hear he's Korean, and he's really a SHE!) then you may have a tough time in spite of your well laid plans.

When Marc understands someone's situation (i.e., they've shared everything with him) then I have never known him to give advise that wasn't dead on. That doesn't mean he can always predict what will happen. Nobody can do that.

You'll have to share a little more about what Marc advised before we can give any opinions.

It has been said this year that satan has taken the form of a black woman at the consulate.... I cant imagine having an interview over an hour with her.... My fiance has such a strong faithin us that satan didnt scare her...

I agree. if I had it to do over I would have contacted Marc early on.. but now as he has said.. the ball is in the CO's court and he cant do anything really until they make a decision..

[vietazn 1]

Keeping old photos is a big no-no. While this story might be good for plays, entering into a marriage while holding on to past love is quite frowned upon my most people. That will be narrative.

[tcTTct 37]

Keeping old photos is a big no-no. While this story might be good for plays, entering into a marriage while holding on to past love is quite frowned upon my most people. That will be narrative.

Is this a personal view?

[thongd4me 69]

Welcome to the group..

They are not a make it or break it thing but they have been used as justification for denials in the past along with other issues..many have been approved without either without issue.. Your biggest hurdle is having both started a relationship while being married... That is what has us in AP at the moment... it took us both quite a while to get our divorces finalized and the CO's are looking at our relationship as a fraud because we filed the petition months after the divorces were finalized... If we had waited we would have likely had a less rough road to travel...

I think this particular problem proves that from country to country, they may arbitrarily make things tougher

and few countries have consulates that are tougher than Viet Nam.

We also started a relationship while we were both married. Her divorce was quick following our first

in-person meeting, but mine took a number of years. We filed just a month after mine was final.

In the interview there was a single "tough" question regarding her ex husband but other than that

the interview was fairly cordial and fast. The only difference between your situation and ours is

that we did the K-1 in Thailand.

In the AOS stage there were no questions about her ex.

I'm hoping they will give you a pass on the Dam Hoi considering your ages and the family situation.

The fact that you knew each other over a very long term should work in your favor.

They may ask questions about both past marriages so be prepared for anything.

The best answer is the truth and if it is true that the previous marriages were unhappy

long before you made your re-acquaintance that would be a positive for your case.

I believe it's because of the scrutiny that your consulate brings to bear that makes

the K-1 process so difficult, not because of any inherent weakness in your case.

Your best course would be to heavily front-load your application with many proofs

of your relationship; if they have doubts about your motivation you have to confront

them head-on and put the burden of proof on THEM. They can't DISPROVE that you

were both unhappy in your former marriages but you should be able to prove that

your relationship is real.

[ScottThuy 140]

Its not uncommon for the consulate to contact the former spouse and ask them questions about the current and previous relationship.. that happened to us last week... and happened to others last year...

The truth is the only way to go as anything else can result in a potential ban...

[thongd4me 69]

Your age difference may also be a plus as well

as the fact that both of you are mature enough

to make this decision to be together.

My wife & I are only 10 years apart which is

not much of an age difference compared

to most US/SE Asia couples.

I don't know how the HCMC consulate looks

at couples who are both Vietnamese; I would

think that's a plus too but the ones with experience

should be able to comment better than I.

[ScottThuy 140]

Age difference? they are both early 40's ... I have not seen age used as a reason in HCMC... age is not an issue for them but can be an advatage when dealing with no dam hoi... older remarried people dont always have a dam hoi.. its a been there done that thing to them...

[tcTTct 37]

We are both Vietnamese. She is a couple of years older than me. We have no problem with any of the details of our relationship because the truth is the truth. I just wanted to cross the ts and dot the is so I don't get the RFEs or APs or non-pink. If necessary, we would go the CR1 route. That would give her more time with her children before she leaves. Maybe by the time the divorces are finalized she would have gotten new friends who don't know her and her ex as a couple and it would make the waiting easier on her. Right now she's only got me on YM, going back and forth to pick up/drop off her kids from school and making sure they're fed right. She had to quit her job because word got around and everybody was judgmental, as they do in Vietnam. Even if we did get married we'd have the same problem of nobody from her side coming to the wedding. But at least we'd be married. We just have to wait until we're divorced and get legal advice on which route to take.

Edited July 30, 2010 by tcTTct

[lambchop4life 6]

Your age difference may also be a plus as well

as the fact that both of you are mature enough

to make this decision to be together.

My wife & I are only 10 years apart which is

not much of an age difference compared

to most US/SE Asia couples.

I don't know how the HCMC consulate looks

at couples who are both Vietnamese; I would

think that's a plus too but the ones with experience

should be able to comment better than I.

10 year is a big age different dont kid yourself its like messing with a little kid

[ScottThuy 140]

10 year is a big age different dont kid yourself its like messing with a little kid

Balderdash.....

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

10 year is a big age different dont kid yourself its like messing with a little kid

Only if the elder of the two is in their 20's.

[thongd4me 69]

10 year is a big age different dont kid yourself its like messing with a little kid

Yes if the ages are 20 & 30.

Not if we're both over 45.

[luckytxn 2,264]

I have to agree. Sometimes the babes are like little kids.