Awkward English

[Nessa 23]

actually, the vacuum cleaner is a she for obvious reasons, and the microwave is a she also as it gets things hot for no apparent reason

[maggieNomar 0]

That's funny...My wife says " THANKS GOD" all the time...she says she was taught adding the "S" in Brazil

for some reason, i've noticed brazilans like to say "ed" at the end of a word....like move-ed instead of moved

all I want to know is ... who the he11 is "ed" ?

Germans say it too and the "es" like cloth-es.

My two favorites:

"I have a receipt for that food" (recipe)

and pronouncing the B on the end of words with a silent B. ThumB, DumB. So cute, but now I do it too.

And the L's in Walk, Talk

[maggieNomar 0]

I like how everything is "he" or "she".

Kinda personalizes the appliances.

Yes I love that one too Doodle. Even the bugs. I tried to explain that anything we can't tell (like an ant or fly) is it, but that makes not sense to him. So I have a bunch of male flies mixed with some female butterflies...not sure how that is going to turn out.

[maggieNomar 0]

Ahmed said he was going to lay in bed and WATCH our album i ask him what was it was going to do, then explained the differences to him

Omar likes to SHOW tv...now why are ahmed and omar mixing up watch and show???

[brnidokiegurl 0]

i just talked to ahmed on the phone about a box for his neice but he told me it is HIIIIIIII den until i can watch her open it (close enough i guess)

and

i just get home ought to take a cold bottle of water

Edited July 19, 2007 by brnidokiegurl

[ya falaha! 0]

Moh says, "sorry for the late", too.

I love how he always adds an "ed" or "es" to words like...worled (world) and girles (girls).

He'll say close or open the light or phone instead of turn on/off the light and answer/hang up the phone.

Instead of saying "I'll let you go" he'll say "I'll leave you now" when talking on the phone.

Getting out of the car is "get down from the car"

Something that I've picked up from him is...instead of "do you know what time it is?" it's "do you know what time is it?"

There are sooo many others...

There's so many but some are:

"I'm some tired now"

"sorry for the late"

[rclouse 0]

Morny, rune sore bees!

[MaRob 0]

Morny, rune sore bees!

[Mononoke28 135]

When my husband saw the latest pictures of my niece he said "she is so high". He meant to say "she is so tall".

Close but not quite.

Edited July 19, 2007 by Mononoke28

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

I'm sure some of you have seen this, but there's a list of HYSTERICAL sign translations that you can find on the Internet. If you google funny English translations, it'll come up. It still cracks me up every time I read it.

A sample: In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Okay, just cutting and pasting started another giggle fit.

I'm an ESL teacher too, and when my husband was studying a few years ago, a friend of mine failed him in her class. He was upset and frustrated and I asked if he was angry at Loana, the teacher. He responded, "Oh no, the Loana is perfect teacher. Is me." I thought that was so cute.

Foreign Signs

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you

are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.

During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for

wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one

should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going

alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front

desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is

the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the

chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox

monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian

and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except

Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the

corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope

for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red

beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck

let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend

courageous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush

we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition

of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were

executed over the past two years.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel

porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on

our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for

instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are

married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests

of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be

used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the

latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the

afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city

tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on

your own ###?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn ####### to

right.

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from

their own skin.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner

if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them

in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the

USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have

children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any

suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other

diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water

served here.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find

they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air

conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in

your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot

heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,

but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

- English well talking.

- Here speeching American.

OMG! ROFL!

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

When my husband saw the latest pictures of my niece he said "she is so high". He meant to say "she is so tall".

Close but not quite.

HAHA

Man this thread has got me rolling! Thanks everyone, I desperately needed a good laugh!

[nane1104 146]

When my now hubby told me "I'll let you go" when we talked on the phone, I used to get a little pissy because I thought "I'm not busy, why do you say you want to let me go if actually you wanna get off the phone?"

Enjoyed reading this topic very much specially the ones about male or female bugs and appliances...

[Nancy2015 2]

I'm sure some of you have seen this, but there's a list of HYSTERICAL sign translations that you can find on the Internet. If you google funny English translations, it'll come up. It still cracks me up every time I read it.

A sample: In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Okay, just cutting and pasting started another giggle fit.

I'm an ESL teacher too, and when my husband was studying a few years ago, a friend of mine failed him in her class. He was upset and frustrated and I asked if he was angry at Loana, the teacher. He responded, "Oh no, the Loana is perfect teacher. Is me." I thought that was so cute.

Foreign Signs

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you

are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.

During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for

wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one

should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going

alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front

desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is

the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the

chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox

monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian

and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except

Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the

corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope

for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red

beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck

let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend

courageous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush

we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition

of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were

executed over the past two years.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel

porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on

our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for

instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are

married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests

of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be

used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the

latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the

afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city

tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on

your own ###?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn ####### to

right.

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from

their own skin.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner

if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them

in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the

USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have

children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any

suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other

diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water

served here.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find

they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air

conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in

your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot

heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,

but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

- English well talking.

- Here speeching American.

I remember this from my English class years ago... I laughed so hard, I thought I'd choke!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I used to say "How do you think?" instead of "What do you think?" I quickly learned the proper way, because when my hubby first heard the "how", he told me "Well, I believe, I think with my head"

Edited July 19, 2007 by Jewel12

[lucyrich 20]

My favorite was from a co-worker who was a bit frustrated in a meeting. He was fairly fluent in English, trying, not always succesfully, to integrate idiomatic expressions into his speech. His cry of frustration:

Hey guys, cut me some slacks!

[zabor 0]

Most of these "mistakes" are due to our background. The "mother" language.... We try to construct the sentences or pronounce the words thinking many times in accordance to the structure...the way we would pronounce in our first language (whatever it is) ...then translate to the english..... what many times does not "match" the rules.... We know what we want to say in our "first" language, then we think the words in English and "build" the sentences...making a lot of fun many times.... (I bet I did in this paragraph )