White flag - an emotional post.

[Fandango 1,440]

On Friday night, I changed the song on Myspace...was looking for a Dido song & found the song White Flag...so I changed my page to play it. I felt inspired, so I wrote a blog about it, but then took it down because it seemed too personal for Myspace.....so I what better place to share it than here?n I know a lot of people here will understand exactly what I'm talkin about

If you don't know the song, you can go to myspace, then music, then search for dido and you will find it.

Why is this sad assed song on my page?

I'll tell ya why - Firstly, David and I are just as good as ever & has nowt to do with breaking up even tho that's what the song's kinda about.

Well, first of all, D and I are making a list of all the songs for our wedding. And of course, Dido's first big song Thank You is a big one of ours...cos when we heard the sample on Eminem's Stan song...Dave played master detective & found out who she was (this was wayyy before she became famous for it). Anyways, so yeah, Dido's on there cos it was our song...and no one really knew the song and it was ours and special and we loved it.

Ok, so this song...yeah it's sad and David Boreanez is in the video & they're broken up and prolly not get back together & Dido's character will live the rest of her days sad and in love with a man with whom she will never be with again.. But to me, it's wayyyy more than that & has nothing to do with lonliness or angst or anything like that.

This was the song that was playing in the car after David picked me up from the airport the second time I went over. I was sooo tired and sooo happy and content to be back in my man's arms & it was just lovely. It was a cold day, and he even brought me my fave pillow and a blanket for the car. This song brings such a vivid memory to mind as if I were experiencing it right now...I can remember even how the cold air smelled....I can smell it right now, and even feel that chilly air on my face even though I'm in FL now and it's so hot I feel I could melt or spontaneously combust. I can feel the pillow under my head and the view of the most wonderful man with his absolutely incredibly gorgeous blue eyes, and his sexy lips, and his cheeky grin, and and and....

umm, ok back to the story cos I have a feeling I'll drift otherwise, hahaha...you get the idea...it's a strong memory, lol.

And when he turned on the radio, I just remember being blissfully happy. It's a weird thing living in two countries, hahah...don't get me wrong, I had horrible separation anxiety for my parents & my American life, but going to England...well, even though I had just left home to go there...it was going home at the same time....and I was just reveling in this perfect moment

I remember he even put his hand on my knee as he drove even tho I had my eyes closed - and the intimacy in this moment was one that I couldn't ever convey with any degree of success whatsoever. Anyways, I realized the real meaning of this song...Dido's singing about a love that transcends everything...a love sooo powerful that it stands apart from reason/logic/etc. One that will be unwaivering despite any outside influences...and it hit me: I will go down with this ship....I will love David until the end of time and itt will never change. I've always been such a non-emotional person and have made sooo many hard decisions in my life by separating emotion from logic. I had the tendency to be cold & just detach myself and do what my brain said. Going gets tough & I got going. My beloved grandmother once told me this saying in Italian that says something to the effect of marriage being like an ocean...sometimes it's rocky, sometimes it's peaceful & beautiful, but the one thing it is is seemingly endless..and the trick is just learning how to sail through it. And I always understood what she was getting at, yet I never felt the power or the sheer beauty in the concept...until D

Funny how that was an ocean reference and this is a ship song...but I digress...

Meanwhile me & D and all of our obstacles...long distance relationship? Nah, never work out at all..blah blah blah. Let the haters talk. Sure, we've had our share of the dumbest #######...screaming matches & stupid fights..just like everyone else. That tear-your-hair-out in frustration/anger/etc feelings...sure, we both have had them at I'm sure countless times along the way. Yet here we are, at the end of the day, we've beaten every odd there was, hurdled clear over every mountain in our way. Nothing is stronger than us...even logic, hahaha. But our desire and love for each other has empowered us to scoff at any reason to not just be, and that amazes me. He's that once-in-a-lifetime-takes-your-breath-away-type of love that I thought only existed in movies...or seeing in my parents & grandparents. The one that makes your head dizzy and blissful even just thinking about him...and this is almost after 7 years of being & living together...and I can even say just hearing his voice sends a smile to my face and makes me feel content. When he put his hand on my knee...even just briefly cos he had to still shift gears while driving, it was just...ummm...it was just perfect.

Why am I sharing this right now? Well, that's easy...all my friends have lives & my man is sleeping & I'm sat in my room listening to a song I haven't heard in ages, feeling all these emotions & I've become so overwhelmed with emotion that I just had to express it.

This song may seem macabre to some - hahah talk about hyperbole, but whatever. But there will never be a white flag above my door...I will always love him and I just wanted to say it. In this day and age of divorce and separations and whatnot...relationships just seem so disposable... Now I'm not judging anyone for it...we've all been there -I have, D has too. So I'm not saying anything bad about anyone...but you kinda get this mindset - well at least I did - that hey, whatever happens happens from here on in. And if the next one don't work out, then move on again... But I could no sooner envision ever leaving David, this man who just makes my life soo complete, no sooner than I could envision me chopping off my legs. This is the once in a lifetime balls to the wall kind And yeah yeah...take it with a grain of salt cos I'm an engaged woman, and all 'yay for love' but I'm talkin straight FACT right here.

I'm listening to the song right now whilst typing & I have to say that a tear just actually rolled down my face!

I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be.

Yeah yeah, soppy cow, I know....hahahahah....deal with it

David, you're one hell of a man and I am truly blessed to have you....

[govols 0]

That was very sweet, Lisa. I like that song too.

Karen

[vartan 0]

Dido has some really cool songs that give you that "feeling" in you .. its her voice.. its pretty cool

[Fandango 1,440]

Dido has some really cool songs that give you that "feeling" in you .. its her voice.. its pretty cool

Yeah she's got an awesome voice, I totally agree.

My friend just msgd me on myspace telling me she never heard that song before & that she stole it for her page, hahahah....was this song not a hit in America? I wasn't here at the time, so I have no idea. Oh, and then she asked to hear the story of the song, so I put my blog back up anyways, lol

Ahhh well!

And ty Govols

Actually, thanks to all of you for reading it....it's not often I do the emotional stuff to this degree, so I feel a lil exposed out here, lol. But oh well, isn't this what life and love are about?

[vartan 0]

no this song is here.. i have heard it on the radio a few times.

[Lizzy 0]

This is also mine and steves song for our first dance at my wedding:))

Glad its your too:)

[dp8255 0]

I promise im not trying to make your life harder or i return to where we are, I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be.

Lisa i love that line..that's so sweet I'm inlove

Im listening to that song right now and my heart beats so fast hehehe....

D

[LaL 418]

I love this song as well... i also had put is a few months ago as my *myspace* song... but again, i didnt want to be so depressed lol...

as for is it a hit? well... in my office we play XM radio for light hits and it plays ALL THE TIME.

[wherezdabearz 0]

Love your story, Lisa. Ain't love grand??

Alison

[dani_christine 0]

lisa--that is beautifully written and so true! what you said about feeling like you were "home" is exactly how i felt the first time i saw beautiful Ireland outside the window of my airplane.

we're in AOS phase now, and it's been over a year since we left Ireland together to fly back to the States. it was May 12, 2005. even though he is here with me, i still miss Ireland, and in 9 days, we'll be flying HOME for a visit. I can't wait.

thank you for sharing this entry with us...it was lovely.

[dani_christine 0]

oh, and by the way...have you heard her version of "leaving on a jet plane"? beautiful!

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

It's a lovely song and can easily be "every woman's" anthem. I heard her sing it in NYC's Bryant Park (for Good Morning America a few summers ago). It is a nice sentiment that this is for keeps and one won't end this marriage for any old reason.

BTW, Nice blog entry.

[rebeccajo 14]

lisa--that is beautifully written and so true! what you said about feeling like you were "home" is exactly how i felt the first time i saw beautiful Ireland outside the window of my airplane.

Dani, you know I've told you before I feel the exact same way. I felt so at home there and really was able to navigate my way around town on foot alone fairly easily. It was as if I knew the way.

Right now I think I want to go back for a visit more than he does.

As for white flags, yeah if that means giving up I don't see any of those in my future. How about a red flag though - like the way the matador waves the cape and it makes the bull mad? LOL

[Vagina Journey 0]

Love the song spent many days and night with this song.....Seen a show with dido and she stated the song was wrote and it was to her father.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Even I love Dido. The regular and dance mixes.