Gender roles and West Africans

[jrcrzymum 0]

I am American born and my husband is Nigerian. He does not help with household chores, can cook and will cook on occasion and only makes the bed every morning because he is always the last one to get up. I found out that it is do to upbringing. He was the son that never stayed home, would always be out doing something. Then would come home expecting a meal. Things have really not changed has been hereover 3yrs now. I will trade husbands with anyone who would take mine

This is too funny....you definitely wouldn't want my husband! My husband, he's Nigerian and I American, really doesn't do much either and I would love it if he did! He is the only boy among his siblings and I personally think he was so spoiled and catered to by his family. He too never stayed home and came home expecting food. We have been together in the states almost a year now.

[Ama&yaw 1]

Aww some of these stories are too cute!

My husband is absolutley wonderful. He is from Ghana and I am African American. I had two children when we met and besides him being great with them, he treats them like their his own.

Like some of you, he grew up in a house with "house help" and the women always cooking. Despite that, he cleans and tries to cook all the time! He vacumms, fold and washes clothes, cleans the bathroom and mops on his days off.

I work days and he works night so he usually wakes up around 2pm and cleans the house. I usually cook but he always helps me in the kitchen and offers to chop, stir or bake something. He also takes great care of the kids. Bathes them, gets them dressed, takes them to dr appointments, parent teacher conferences, anything.

I love him so much and I really think maybe I dont do enough to help him! I tell him that and he tells me it's nonsense and not to worry about anything. He's perfect for me!

[Tamikuti7 0]

I am American, and my husband is Nigerian (Yoruba), And until I read this topic, I never really thought about who did what, possibly because whatever needs to be done gets done, by...somebody...lol. But there's no clashing because we work together.

Edited to add: We have been together since 2004, married in '05. Geez time is flying!!

Edited October 28, 2010 by WHAT_DA_?????

[rafetnatorop 0]

Everyone! Thanks for all of the awesome and thoughtful responses. Its so interesting to hear how the dynamics work between couples. I suppose most of these answers would be similar even talking to strictly American couples.

I was wondering originally because I have only been with my husband in Senegal, where I cleaned, but we bought food at a shop or at the cafeteria at the University...and where we paid a woman to wash clothes. So, I have no idea how it will be when he finally gets here!

I will definitely do most of the cooking, because I LOVE to cook, but I am not such a fan of laundry or vacuuming, so there will have to be some negotiation on those fronts. And he is the CLEANEST person I have ever met. It makes him angry when things are out of place. So it might be in his best interest to take charge of some things.

I think about this a lot, especially because he is from a small village. When we go there, it is very separated. The women sell vegetables in the market, cook & clean, and take care of everyone. The men work in the fields, work as tailors, then come home and drink tea. So it is definitely awkward for me to sit around with the men while the women work around us.

Once he gets here I'll let you know how it all turns out

Edited November 8, 2010 by rafetnatorop