Anyone feel like they've made a huge mistake?

[magentahaze 34]

Hi everyone.

I just came across this thread today and I just wanted to say that it's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

My now husband and I have will have been together 6 years in November and we just got married at the end of May this year. I've moved to Iowa from British Columbia so I'm really having a hard time adjusting too. It's hard not being able to see the mountains everyday, being a half hour drive from the ocean, to moving to a mostly rural area where it takes just a half hour just to drive to the nearest shopping mall.

I've only been here for a few months, but now that I've started looking at my AOS and what it all entails, I'm mostly looking at getting my AP so I can get back to BC to see my family. I've been having a lot of breakdowns lately, and it makes me feel terrible that I'm putting him through all my emotions. He actually asked me, "am I worth all this grief?" I honestly didn't really know what to say. We were engaged for a year and half even before we decided to get married.

I really wonder how long I'll be able to handle it.

Right now it's really difficult as we still live at home with his parents, his father being in a wheelchair and being an only child he stays home to help out. But that might be it. It's not really a place of our own. I don't have a car, don't have a job... I do have some of his family close by that I think I can actually sit and talk to a little more than his parents, but I just don't know some days.

My mom and I Skype pretty much everyday so that helps a little bit, and I love him to pieces, I just really don't know if I'll be able to be happy here, so far from my family.

[lgg 2]

Seriously? I've encountered some good people here and made myself a really awesome friend! It's pretty cool, I'll admit.

Parti-CIP-Action!

It's true and I've met some of the greatest people from this board.

There's nothing more fun than a VJ Canadian get together, first you just understand eachother and what it takes to go through immigration and you can laugh about things back home.

On Canada day i think the funniest thing was this band playing and they yelled out: "Come guys, lets see some audience participaction"

lgg and I just looked at eachother and laughed our butts off, and my husband had no clue why.

It's the little things that make a whole lot of difference.

[Sprailenes 47]

"I'm Hal Johnson"

"and I'm Joanne McLeod!"

[Flames9_RN 358]

You can become their facebook friend!!

[Ontarkie 14,221]

[Tick Tock 3]

Quoted for truth.

One night, I got very homesick/nostalgic and found a bunch of videos on Youtube. Things ranging from those computer animated shorts that YTV used to air, to the Log Driver's Waltz animation.

Awesome to get to see such things again, but it adds to the "you're not there anymore" realization. :\

[lgg 2]

Oh my god!

These two freak me the hell out!

"I'm Hal Johnson"

"and I'm Joanne McLeod!"

[Ontarkie 14,221]

Now the log driver's waltz I've always loved, not sure why but I love it....

[Gemmie 142]

Today is one of those days. My best friend back home has moved into her new apartment with her boyfriend, who just got a new job. Incidentally, he was barely looking, just scanning ads for months, until she finally told him how important it was, and then bang - he's employed. I saw on Facebook that an old friend just had her baby and is talking about how her life is complete, and she asked me "so when are you having a baba then?". And someone that moved to the US and got her work permit a fortnight ago has just landed a job.

I feel like I'm behind some tinted window that can see everyone else living life, but they can't see me. I feel like I don't exist over here. Having to be alone everyday and browse search engines to send off the same stuff is absolutely draining. I'm just running on auto-pilot. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get a job or move out of his parents, or have that life of our own that we dream of. My husband spent the weekend telling me that we're going to have all of these things, and a little part of me believed it. But today is... one of those days.

[Sprailenes 47]

Quoted for truth.

One night, I got very homesick/nostalgic and found a bunch of videos on Youtube. Things ranging from those computer animated shorts that YTV used to air, to the Log Driver's Waltz animation.

Awesome to get to see such things again, but it adds to the "you're not there anymore" realization. :\

FOR HE GOES BIRLING DOWN A DOWN THE WHITE WATER, THAT'S WHERE THE LOG DRIVER LEARNS TO STEP LIGHTLY! <3

I used to love that!

[Kimbear 53]

oh god...i forgot what Nostalgia feels like.....lol

And those two used to scare me LOL. jeez..and they are still around doing their thing..man i feel old now..lol.

[Sprailenes 47]

I had to go dig up the video for the log drivers waltz.

http://www.dailymoti...altz_shortfilms

[Kimbear 53]

Today is one of those days. My best friend back home has moved into her new apartment with her boyfriend, who just got a new job. Incidentally, he was barely looking, just scanning ads for months, until she finally told him how important it was, and then bang - he's employed. I saw on Facebook that an old friend just had her baby and is talking about how her life is complete, and she asked me "so when are you having a baba then?". And someone that moved to the US and got her work permit a fortnight ago has just landed a job.

I feel like I'm behind some tinted window that can see everyone else living life, but they can't see me. I feel like I don't exist over here. Having to be alone everyday and browse search engines to send off the same stuff is absolutely draining. I'm just running on auto-pilot. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get a job or move out of his parents, or have that life of our own that we dream of. My husband spent the weekend telling me that we're going to have all of these things, and a little part of me believed it. But today is... one of those days.

Gemmie, i know how you feel. i barely check my facebook anymore. I'm 36 and time is ticking away for us for a family as well. Living with the in-laws as nice as it was sometimes, i always had someone to talk to whether i wanted to or not lol, but it did get draining after a while, espeically when i keep getting asked about looking for jobs etc. and how much longer for me to get my green card.

David does his best to calm my fears of the future, he managed to find us a place to live that albeit is from paycheck to paycheck, but it's our own place, it's near his work and friends, and we have our privacy back again, which was a big issue before.

It will work out for us both, it may take its sweet a$$ time, but it will happen. Just gotta remember that once this is all over, we can only go back up from here. Now if only i could figure out how to fix my resume and make it look good after not working since december 2008...ugh.

[Tick Tock 3]

Gemmie... *Big hug*.

Sometimes I regret picking my username because I envision a big clock counting my life away, or the feeling of urgency to get finally "settled". Other times, however, it reminds me that there's no cutoff in time; rolling plains instead of a cliff. In time, hopefully, things will be as we hope and dream them to be.

Also, the previous link for Log Driver's Waltz wasn't working for me.

So, hopefully this one works as an embedded video!

[Galateia 1]

I agree. I had to make the big move and change countries twice in my life. I was born in Bosnia and when I was a teenager my family emigrated to Canada. That move was so easy, I instantly fell in love with Canada and living there for 16 years, it feels like home. Moving here was much harder, and somehow just doesn't feel like home. Something's off!

Ditto. Not only that, but I live as far away from Canada as possible without being in Mexico, and it's not financially possible to 'fly back home' which makes me feel like I am living in exile. In the 2+ years I have been here, I have been home (briefly) once.

A big hug to Gemmie and Magentahaze. I hear you.