Married 9 months (not going well) what do I do?

[HYENA 4]

This is a long post (I'm working nights so I've got time).

Met her 3 years ago in Thailand

She broke up with a boyfriend from Scotland of 5 years about 6 months earlier. We were to get engaged but during our courtship she kept contacting this old boyfriend and I put a stop to it because of how it would affect our relationship (otherwise I wouldn't have minded). He dumped her but I suspect she's not over him.

I told her she must make a choice but doubt her heart is with me. I open a fake email account and flirt with her telling her "bob" needs a special friend, etc and she's receptive because "bob" offers her money (more than I had). I confront her regarding poor integrity, she says she was joking and knew it was me, all the BS we hear that I didn't learn from at the time. I tell her she needs to decide and stick with it or be done with us (by then I'm invested in many ways to the relationship). A few months later (against her mother's advice) she met with her ex when he visited and was an A$$ to me all that week. I contacted him and he seems like a decent guy but she's not his type (he said simple and unmotivated) and has moved on with his women of Bangkok. He didn't trust her either but she never cheated on him (he had a private investigatior tail her; I told him he was crayzy- pot calling the kettle black)!

I broke off the engagement once I found they met; she deleted her email account, got a new phone and phone number, we got re-engaged (I told her she had to make a permanent choice), said all the right things. Her ex said she's not a cheater so I'm confused. She promised no more thought that's that and she's over him. Months pass, she comes to the US, we get married, 3 months later she's an A$$ to me and I find he's got her new email address, look in her phone and he's got her new phone number. Again, more crying promises not to do it again but she's already here. A few months goes by and it happens again; promises not to do it, we have problems...this pattern repeats itself every 3 months. Last week she blows up in front of my kids (I knew they communicated). I find out 3 days ago and she's devastated because I've had it and told her we're done, removed my ring for the first time. I told her she's devastated only because I found out and being the opportunist she is, I think she'd cheat on me given the chance if she thought the grass was greener with another guy.

I'm tired of this opportunistic BS and am prepared to send her back. She's got her 2 year GC but I don't want to be responsible for her for 40 quarters (10 years) so sending her back then divorcing seems the cleanest way to get her out. She lead on she can use the internet, knows how to drive, etc and it turns out she lacks the will to do any real hard work to become educated, employed, drive etc. (maybe she's learning disabled) always looking for the easy way out. I told her to learn all the words (how to read them) on all the applicances and stuff in the house and any signs on the road where we drive for a start but she never asks "what does that word say" and still doesn't know any (she needs a license to get to school but I don't think she's got what it takes to get a high school GED or pass the driver's test now). She doesn't know hardly any words, doesn't take interest in road signs or learning her surroundings. I bought CD's but she doesn't use them; just plays poker. I taught her to start surfing the internet (no one taught me how to use the computer) and to teach herself (many in Bangkok are self taught English speakers by books and copying TV accents) but she only plays poker and wants some great job, a car and a license.

The past 2 days she's crying, asking me if I can do the papers so she can stay (after leaving me) and she found a job staying at some restaurant and rooming upstairs about an hour away from me. I told her she came to the US to marry me and she's not on a "Use a husband then leave him because the grass might be greener" visa. I told her she's got a long enough pattern and has nothing to offer our relationship except requests for money for her family and doesn't really contribute to "us" like what other Thai couples we've met here. I told her good times or bad but when I'm having a rough week at work or we're not seeing the countryside on vacation and are and down to every day routines, she gets bored and will likely look for more exciting pastures (no such thing for good or worse, rich or poor IMHO).

I give her family an ATM; load it with only what they need per month (for mom for medicine and food). I was prepared to send 2 family members through college to get rid of their impoverishment problem for good (I don't pay tithe to a church so this was my do-good) but I won't send stupid money or build a house or give free charity money unless the money I send will make them money or give all of them a leg up if it can lead to something permanent (education, business, etc). I made it clear one shady Niece wasn't to touch the ATM card and never write down the password; that I'd call them at the ATM each month (mom can't read). I stopped changing the password, thought they memorized it, months go by and we get a call saying mom never got money for past 2 months. I look at W/D pattern and it's the same ($10 this bank, $20 second bank, 50's at the third till it was gone; nothing changed but someone stole it?) I knew they still had it. They claim someone e-copied the card and stole the money (I knew better) then they said someone physically stole the card, they called the police (no police report when I asked tp fax it to me) and to send more money. I told them if someone stole the card, why didn't they drain the $300 in there? Since the bad niece had the card (I told them clearly she wasn't to have it) and obviously stole money out of it; they needed to beat the money out of the niece if they want it. I told them "oh well, no more money since the card is gone; I'm canceling it". The card mysteriously shows up (I predicted this before it happened)...the thief "slipped it back under the door." The family has to go along with the niece's theft lie because they know I won't send more if I discover family steals from family regularly over there. My wife goes along (what choice does she have) despite saying earlier she knew what happened (it's called smooth it over to save face). I ask how the thief knew the password? She supposedly had it in a bag with the password written down-another thing I said to never do. I told them if this was their ATM, they'd never be so reckless with their hard earned money (not that I believe their story) and since they're not careful with my money I work hard for, then why should I keep sending money to a bunch of reckless people who did 3 things I specifically told them not to? Since no more money is going over, my wife is looking for a job (and likely greener pastures; I could have predicted this), starts contacting her ex and calling friends. She's an opportunist, in my mind.

Culturally (someone mentioned here) Asians have different rules they play by and I know I broke one of their "good husband" rules by not sending money. (over there, money IS love) They don't bother to think Lying and taking others for granted are my rules and we don't tolerate it like they do.

So I'm tired of all the BS

I told her she came here to marry me and it appears I'm being used and she has nothing to offer us or society here; she blows up too much usually due to her lack of hard work to learn the language but wants all the material benefits others have who work hard. That's not my style and I got my credentials by hard work and hard studying; paid my own way with no one's help. She has that opportunity and is showing me over and over she wants to blow it. I see her village culture one that has no problem stealing money from family members and killing the gold egg laying chicken to eat it. I told her I'm beginning to believe poor people make poor decisions regardless of what's put before them and it's a lost cause. She knew contacting this ex or anyone would mess up our marriage with increasingly negative consequences but they seem to fail to see past short term and never consider consequences. Never. I told her "of course continuing would end up with divorce; what else would you think" (bite the hand that feeds them stories are common over there). I told her she's only sad because I found out (not that she did it and how it affected us) and have had it with her antics.

So I'm considering sending her back. Meanwhile I did get a nuptial agreement signed when times were better because I'm not giving my hard earned meager nest egg to someone just because they marry me for a short time. I've got kids and need to think about my future and theirs. I see her as a money pit with little promise and little contribution coming from likely a long line of opportunists. She played on well early on but once she got here, she's been like a dirty wild animal that cannot be cultured to even low-middle class standards (throwing trash on the floor in the house, leaving food out to rot, staying home but doing nothing but playing gpoker games and looking for a better opportunity). I'm not a neat freak by any means but dirty is different than messy and I always have to contribute to the place I'm in even when I have no gain. It's like I have another kid I have to clean up after; a burden.

So...tonight she's asking for ways I can continue to sponsor her to stay here if she leaves me. I told her the system has a 2 year checkup to weed out the opportunists from the genuine couples and I didn't see her making much of a genuine effort but just appearances and words but her actions suck (Thais from her village seem to be self serving, superficial and ego driven IMHO).

So, she's begging me for another chance; she won't do it again and I told her 5 times ago she should have considered that and she's likely cheat on me in a second given the chance. I have no issue contacting and ex but if she's got to lie and sneak and be nasty for that entire week, then there's more than the eye can see.

I'm confused. I love her, I feel sorry for her and sending her back to her home with no job opportunities and horrible working conditions seems cruel but on the other hand I told her she came here to get married and stay married for at least 2 years and I guarantee after 2 years she'd be gone so why is it fair to use me and the system when for real she's not a good wife or good anything? She's begging to stay, crying, clawing, begging and I told her this is not her country; she's lived in Thailand all her life, it should be no problem going home. She's not doing what it takes to survive here and would likely be using social services so I cannot have that on my dime with my sponsorship contract and it's better she goes home and looks for another opportunity leeching off someone else. She's begging and pleading and I told her she should have thought of that each promise she's broken and while not doing squat the many other chances she's blown with me alone. It's amazing.

I asked her a few months ago if she really thought our marriage was fair and gave "50:50" (she used that term a lot early on) and she admitted the situation was not fair to me or my kids. At least she knows she's an awful wife (cooks for herself only, I go out and buy food for work or make my own lunch but she's a stay at home wife for now-she does keep the dogs company and that's it.

She and her family should have thought of biting the hand that's helping them (I told them come clean with the lie but saving face for them is more important, so tough). I don't like the stealing money expecting me to believe their poorly concocted stories, not contributing to a relationship being more "takers" than givers. I told her likely her family has learned centuries of poor decisions and one cannot break that cycle in a matter of a year or two, although I believed different not so long ago (I had to chain and paddlock my belongings every visit to her family home because someone would and has stolen my stuff)! "poor people make poor decisions" I wish it weren't true.

I don't want to be some controlling money machine; I just want a decent wife, would be so happy if I sent money that opened a family business and they'd be out of my hair moneywise. Her ex BF sent them quite a bit of money to open a business and they gave all the products away to the beggers completely blowing the business idea (poor people make poor decisions). I can count the opportunities that have pissed away so what am I doing?

I'm hurt, confused and stupid. The visa process takes on a life of its own and little red flags are often overlooked as the discussion and energy is focused entirely on the visa process till they get here. This, in my opinion is how things go bad after they come here; the spouse stops tolerating BS and stops being blind once the focus is on them. Call me stupid, judge me all you want but this is my situation. I'm just a normal lonely guy looking for a nice spouse and mutual contribution to the marriage; not older, not younger, not some sexpot but just a normal boring every day working couple that goes on fun vacations and has fun gardening at home and getting out an about traveling.

I send her back, she'd be in a living HeII because that's pretty much what her country has to offer her, given her class and Thai prejudices. If she stays here, I don't want any liability whatsoever. I don't think I can get her to stop looking for greener pastures. I'm frustrated, hurt and don't know what to do.

On the other side: She's never cheated, so is it worth ending it now or what makes sense?

[Travelbugs 3]

I'm sorry to hear about your woes.

From what I can gather and understand, you are definitely investing more than she does. She's been breaking promises, been taking your money, your help, you even support her family and she can't even do you the favor of cutting contact with her ex?!

From an outside perspective, I would say she wouldn't even have deserved to come live with you and marry you in the first place. She hasn't been honest with you from day one!!

I would go back and read your post again with the eyes of someone else. I think it then becomes clear what to do...I think there would only be one reasonable next step...you have to keep in mind that, in a relationship, it's a give and take. You have been giving much more than you have been receiving, and that is not what a relationship is about.

Don't be too nice, or you get taken advantage of...I've been there. Don't sell your self short!! You deserve better than that.

[Utha 10]

I am sorry for the situation that you have been facing. It is good that talking to her ex boyfriend many times doesn't make u think that she doesn't cheat on you. What i think is, if someone really loves us, they will never run to other just because we are being sad, etc. For me and as for me, when i decided to choose him; he is my everything, i already know the risk; that i have to border myself from talking and involving too much other especially man in past to take care of his feeling.

I hope she could appreciate you more before she late, coz i think our neighbour's grass will always looks greener, but once we look into it inside, we will see that no grass is perfect. For you, if you think that she deserves for your love and care, if you think keeping her is worth, if you think in your marriage there is something more worth than her attitude, if you think the marriage is good for all of the parties in it especially your kids, so just keep her. Otherwise, you need to dive into the ocean; there are millions of fishes in it, you need to climb the highest tower in the world then take a look at down; there are millions of women that you could sort for your criteria.

Good luck and wish best for you.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Utha

[Justine+David 218]

Um...you can't "send her back." She is not a thing that you can discard.

If you guys divorce, she can petition for a 10 year card WITHOUT you, although you will still be on the hook for her financially unless she meets one of the terms (10 quarters of work, US citizen, dies, etc).

Sorry for your troubles.

[pookaphilus 12]

"Culturally (someone mentioned here) Asians have different rules they play by and I know I broke one of their "good husband" rules by not sending money. (over there, money IS love) They don't bother to think Lying and taking others for granted are my rules and we don't tolerate it like they do."...

Good day!!...ahh..i don't like hearing(reading) stories like this one makes me sad&cry...sorry if i quoted again what you have written above.. ...I know and respect that we are all entitled to express our own opinions...so as to say, I'm Asian(Filipina )..I didn't come from a wealthy family but we were raised to strive hard for us to become successful in our lives with integrity and respect..as for me, I do not comply with "good husbands=sending money"..money is money..we can work hard(sometimes easy..hehe) to earn money..we all need money to provide with our necessities everyday..well for others "money is Love" but not for some who really found true love!!..and living in the states(or any foreign land), doesn't necessarily mean "greener pasture" but still we have to work out to aim for the good living..:-)

..ok..same here..we sympathize to your sadness(not suffering coz we can tell that you really love her inspite of everything she has done..as for me, as a woman(not to judge.. ),she did love you BEFORE(not to think that she has other plans of her own)..maybe at the moment, she wants a new direction(going U-turn..) and just making alibis(might be true??) like what you have shared that she is still not over her Ex..or about her family or she is already bored...she can make alot of excuses or reasons if she wants despite the many chances you have given her..to sum it up..it's pretty clear I guess, that no matter how you want to save your marriage,it would always turn out not worth fighting for..coz it's just YOU(only you) who is working out..she didn't even think nor care for you(where's the respect in that ..)

Sir,sorry to say, but if ever you would consider her plea(to let her stay and pretend for the next 2 years,then she can go)..that would be a "stupid mistake"...you have to correct what was a mistake in the first place(making the wrong decision to marry her even she is still into her Ex)...try not to make another mistake again..I'm not being judgemental,I do commit mistakes too..hehehe...but making another mistake and wasting your time with someone who is not worthy of it is wrong...why not think about your kids and their future(your kids will always be there for you)..they also need you,not just her...you've been working hard for your family and you were also helping others...you deserve better than what has happened!!..I just wanna share with you one recipe in true love...RESPECT+TRUST+ACCEPTANCE+COMMITMENT+CONTENTMENT=Love...I might be young & not a perfectionist(nobody is perfect), but for me, that is what LOVE means...

hehehe...sorry for the long response ...take a break and think what you really want to do..the rest will rely on your own fate!!..keep smiling , a lot of people around you cares for you(not just her)!!..have a good and blessed day!!

[Utha 10]

"Culturally (someone mentioned here) Asians have different rules they play by and I know I broke one of their "good husband" rules by not sending money. (over there, money IS love) They don't bother to think Lying and taking others for granted are my rules and we don't tolerate it like they do."...

Good day!!...ahh..i don't like hearing(reading) stories like this one makes me sad&cry...sorry if i quoted again what you have written above.. ...I know and respect that we are all entitled to express our own opinions...so as to say, I'm Asian(Filipina )..I didn't come from a wealthy family but we were raised to strive hard for us to become successful in our lives with integrity and respect..as for me, I do not comply with "good husbands=sending money"..money is money..we can work hard(sometimes easy..hehe) to earn money..we all need money to provide with our necessities everyday..well for others "money is Love" but not for some who really found true love!!..and living in the states(or any foreign land), doesn't necessarily mean "greener pasture" but still we have to work out to aim for the good living..:-)

..ok..same here..we sympathize to your sadness(not suffering coz we can tell that you really love her inspite of everything she has done..as for me, as a woman(not to judge.. ),she did love you BEFORE(not to think that she has other plans of her own)..maybe at the moment, she wants a new direction(going U-turn..) and just making alibis(might be true??) like what you have shared that she is still not over her Ex..or about her family or she is already bored...she can make alot of excuses or reasons if she wants despite the many chances you have given her..to sum it up..it's pretty clear I guess, that no matter how you want to save your marriage,it would always turn out not worth fighting for..coz it's just YOU(only you) who is working out..she didn't even think nor care for you(where's the respect in that ..)

Sir,sorry to say, but if ever you would consider her plea(to let her stay and pretend for the next 2 years,then she can go)..that would be a "stupid mistake"...you have to correct what was a mistake in the first place(making the wrong decision to marry her even she is still into her Ex)...try not to make another mistake again..I'm not being judgemental,I do commit mistakes too..hehehe...but making another mistake and wasting your time with someone who is not worthy of it is wrong...why not think about your kids and their future(your kids will always be there for you)..they also need you,not just her...you've been working hard for your family and you were also helping others...you deserve better than what has happened!!..I just wanna share with you one recipe in true love...RESPECT+TRUST+ACCEPTANCE+COMMITMENT+CONTENTMENT=Love...I might be young & not a perfectionist(nobody is perfect), but for me, that is what LOVE means...

hehehe...sorry for the long response ...take a break and think what you really want to do..the rest will rely on your own fate!!..keep smiling , a lot of people around you cares for you(not just her)!!..have a good and blessed day!!

I agree with you. I am Asian, too and for me, LOVING DOESN'T MEAN SENDING MONEY TO OUR FAMILY. I am not from wealthy family as well but that doesn't make me to deceive others just to get the money.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

It does sound like she is using you, sorry to say. That being said, you cannot send her back unless she agrees- she can remove conditions from her greencard herself if she can show a bonafide marriage, and yes, you will still be on the hook for financial sponsorship. I suggest a divorce asap, that is the best you can do to distance yourself.

[pookaphilus 12]

I am sorry for the situation that you have been facing. It is good that talking to her ex boyfriend many times doesn't make u think that she doesn't cheat on you. What i think is, if someone really loves us, they will never run to other just because we are being sad, etc. For me and as for me, when i decided to choose him; he is my everything, i already know the risk; that i have to border myself from talking and involving too much other especially man in past to take care of his feeling.

I hope she could appreciate you more before she late, coz i think our neighbour's grass will always looks greener, but once we look into it inside, we will see that no grass is perfect. For you, if you think that she deserves for your love and care, if you think keeping her is worth, if you think in your marriage there is something more worth than her attitude, if you think the marriage is good for all of the parties in it especially your kids, so just keep her. Otherwise, you need to dive into the ocean; there are millions of fishes in it, you need to climb the highest tower in the world then take a look at down; there are millions of women that you could sort for your criteria.

Good luck and wish best for you.

I agree!!...same here as well..we make our own decisions, then we must take the risks & responsibilities with it..if other's grasses are greener than yours,,it's ok..color it again,,for sure it will be a little greener.. if ever your grasses die, it's still ok don't forget, grasses grow everywhere&anywhere@anytime..opps, don't forget to mow the bad ones ..have a blessed day everyone!!!

[Utha 10]

I agree!!...same here as well..we make our own decisions, then we must take the risks & responsibilities with it..if other's grasses are greener than yours,,it's ok..color it again,,for sure it will be a little greener.. if ever your grasses die, it's still ok don't forget, grasses grow everywhere&anywhere@anytime..opps, don't forget to mow the bad ones ..have a blessed day everyone!!!

Yeah, color it again ... with colour pencil named: LOVE.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Utha

[Ning 619]

I'm hurt, confused and stupid. The visa process takes on a life of its own and little red flags are often overlooked as the discussion and energy is focused entirely on the visa process till they get here. This, in my opinion is how things go bad after they come here; the spouse stops tolerating BS and stops being blind once the focus is on them. Call me stupid, judge me all you want but this is my situation. I'm just a normal lonely guy looking for a nice spouse and mutual contribution to the marriage; not older, not younger, not some sexpot but just a normal boring every day working couple that goes on fun vacations and has fun gardening at home and getting out an about traveling.

I send her back, she'd be in a living HeII because that's pretty much what her country has to offer her, given her class and Thai prejudices. If she stays here, I don't want any liability whatsoever. I don't think I can get her to stop looking for greener pastures. I'm frustrated, hurt and don't know what to do.

On the other side: She's never cheated, so is it worth ending it now or what makes sense?

No one needs to judge you; you have done a great job of laying this out. Who wouldnt be hurt & confused? You dont fully qualify for the stupid award until you ignore the facts again & further your misery by doing anything to help her remain here. Also continue to send money to people that are stealing it from you.

The Scottish flag was up before you even got going but you ignored it hoping it wouldnt matter. And on and on down the road. You could have stopped the madness at many points but choose not to because you wanted to give this a chance to work. It didnt & it wont. Stop looking for an answer that isnt there.

You dont have to worry about sending her back to a " living hell ". That is your opinion of Thai life. You are wrong. She created a living hell in what you thought was paradise. You helped her. She will return to the hunt for a free ride in a country where that is impossible to find. She will lose face which is why she is upset & will do or say anything to get you to further her situation. If you do that you will have to live with the living hell you created for many years & accept responciblity for it.

You dont have the right or the power to send her back. You do have the right & power to end the madness by contacting USCIS. Cut the long winded story down to the facts & ask them to not issue a 10 year card based a fraudulent marrige. If you dont do that you are responcible for your situation & will have to honor the terms of the 864 as to support. That will continue even after divorce.

She isnt looking for greener pastures. She wants a whole county to herself. Or rather a country. She just wants you to pay for it.

Allow yourself to have what you say you want. If its misery stop looking. If not there are many women in my country that are exactly what you seek.

[Robert B 1]

It is sickening to me to see how many people seem to get used for status. I'd contact the USCIS and tell them that you suspect that she entered the marriage solely with the intention of obtaining status unbeknownst to you.

[GnE Walker 2]

I sorry look all theses bad things. Now you have bad experince, but on all your kids.

You have answer here when yourself write all it, try reading as if you are as anybody.

Love are many things (Honestly, true, responsability, commitment, Respect, communication, understand...etc).

Ask youself if you see all these here. When you love anybody work for grow relationship as learn other leanguage, give/receive, but dont worry for sent/send money to Family.

I can say that is preference living alone that with bad situation. There out many persons along check internet but must take care and love yourself !!!Come up gay life is beautiful short for is better funny, and do feel to my husband happy of differents forms. I am learn English for my husband, excusme for my so so English.

God take care you and family my better desert, remember is you desicion continue with it, but you have 2 kids beautiful.

[Nibake 4]

This is a sad story. Here is my advice, since you've asked.

First of all, VJers, like most of mankind, are disappointingly selfish: "RESPECT+TRUST+ACCEPTANCE+COMMITMENT+CONTENTMENT=Love," what a ridiculous fallacy. Try this one on for size: "Love=RESPECT+TRUST+ACCEPTANCE+COMMITMENT+CONTENTMENT+etc. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)" Love is not something given as a reward for good behaviour, such thinking is the reason less than 1/2 of all US marriages succeed. Love is a commitment. If you are committed, here are a few things to consider.

1) Unfortunately, I think you are totally right about the poverty mentality. I have lived nearly 3 years in a third world country and it is clear to see that millions--no, billions--of people in the world have no one to blame for their poverty but themselves, or maybe the devil, or Bush, or Obama...Yes, what you say is true, many people are raised with cultural thinking that is utterly destructive (not to say that US cultural is that great, although it is somewhat conducive to affluence). Here is the good news: your wife can change.

2) Your wife, you said, mentions "50:50" a lot. Again, this is a terribly selfish, humanistic idea (way to go, western society!). "50:50" is for contracts, not for marriages! Marriage is a commitment of "100:?". It is not a matter of getting what you want out of it. Mind you, if your wife is unfaithful, you are justified in divorcing her. However, as long as you are married, you should strive for "100:100." Simply put, both spouses selfless love and build up the other, without thinking about themselves. This is how good marriages work! Here's the good news, you can change your #, and if your wife decides to, she can also change hers. But your commitment to love cannot depend on how much she gives. That is not love.

3) Your wife does not seem to have solved her past problems and has come into the marriage with faltering commitment. This is dangerous for your marriage, and causes a lot of suffering for you and for your wife, even though hers is self-imposed. Good news: your wife can change.

If you make and your wife make a decision, based on the right principles (i.e. selfless love), to change, all of these problems can be solved. Do you consider yourself more mature? If what you have written is true, it seems that you are much more mature. Then why don't you initiate the process? If you are going to end this marriage, don't end it by being selfish. Tell her that she needs to make a 100% heart and soul commitment to being emotionally and physically faithful to you. Tell her that you want to help her to learn how to leave her past and heal from it. Tell her that you want your relationship to be bulletproof, that you will be by her side as you both learn to love with actions and discipline, not just with feelings and words. Want some good principles? Here are a few: Matthew 22:37-39, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, Ephesians 4-5.

Just remember, the reformation that changed northern Europe began with the Bible. You and I don't live in poverty simply because some men were willing to give their lives in order to give the common people the truth of God's Word, starting the sequence of events that led to the greatness of Europe and later America. Look at a map. Northern Europe and parts of the world colonized by its inhabitants = reformation mentality. Southern Europe and the rest of the world = third world countries. That's my two cents. Best wishes.

For better or worse, till death or infidelity do you part.

[Justine+David 218]

My point was that he cannot legally force her to get on a plane. Only the feds could do that if he reported her to ICE and they care enough to deport her.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Justine+David

[southlake 0]

Fist, I am sorry to hear your situation and as 'NING' mentioned above.