Guys who use prostitutes

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I generally do not like to judge and like giving people the benefit of doubt. However I must agree with you. It is a huge redflag to me if someone ever admitted using prostitutes.

1. It generally implies, that either the person is that desperate or they have impulse control issues.

2. I dont know if it is legal in the UK, but it is not legal in the US. And I have serious misgivings about hanging out with people who disregard the law.

3. Don't know what cooties he has (applies especially if you are thinking of dating that person).

ref #1 - could be many reasons for this other than those you listed. maybe he does not have the time to engage in the traditional dating scene. maybe he's not interested in having someone that close to him.

ref #3 - one can catch those from someone who is not a prostitute, it's a ####### shoot. and i don't think he's planning on dating him as i don't believe the op is wired that way.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I think whether it indicates some sort of moral shortcoming would depend on what he gets up to w/ the prostitutes. If he's going for pretty standard activities or harmless (by harmless, I mean not disturbing by common standards) fetish stuff, I wouldn't judge. But if he's acting out, say, violent fantasies and/or patronizing really young prostitutes, I'd be more inclined to be weirded out. I have no problem w/ the concept of prostitution generally, as long as exploitation isn't involved (which obviously it often is, a tricky dimension in itself). But I fail to see how paying for sex, per se, is a terrible thing.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

ref #1 - could be many reasons for this other than those you listed. maybe he does not have the time to engage in the traditional dating scene. maybe he's not interested in having someone that close to him.

Yeah I thought of that - and it probably isn't far from the truth. I tend to think though that once you go down that route, it can remove the temptation to pursue a normal relationship.

ref #3 - one can catch those from someone who is not a prostitute, it's a ####### shoot. and i don't think he's planning on dating him as i don't believe the op is wired that way.

As ####### shoots go, surely its like trying to avoid a roll of 1 on a single die versus rolling a 1 on a dozen dice.

[KaiserD 12]

My friend has now gone through most of the inheritance this way, money which was supposed to be for the comfort of his family. On the one hand, I find his actions despicable. But on the other hand, he's still the same bloke I've known for 15 years, funny, charming and good fun. I also don't know what to do.

That's really sad Amongst other things, what a terrible example to set for his children. He will be paying the price for that one one day, from them if not his wife and no amount of money is going to correct it.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I think whether it indicates some sort of moral shortcoming would depend on what he gets up to w/ the prostitutes. If he's going for pretty standard activities or harmless (by harmless, I mean not disturbing by common standards) fetish stuff, I wouldn't judge. But if he's acting out, say, violent fantasies and/or patronizing really young prostitutes, I'd be more inclined to be weirded out. I have no problem w/ the concept of prostitution generally, as long as exploitation isn't involved (which obviously it often is, a tricky dimension in itself). But I fail to see how paying for sex, per se, is a terrible thing.

It's the idea that the guy is taking advantage of someone else's desperate circumstances. I find it hard to believe that many women do that job because they actually "enjoy" it.

[Nina~ 431]

ref #1 - could be many reasons for this other than those you listed. maybe he does not have the time to engage in the traditional dating scene. maybe he's not interested in having someone that close to him.

If he didnt like having someone that close to him, he still has his palm. And if he is really good looking, I dont see why he can't find a friend with benefits. IDK.

ref #3 - one can catch those from someone who is not a prostitute, it's a ####### shoot. and i don't think he's planning on dating him as i don't believe the op is wired that way.

Agree with that however, the probability of catching something from a hooker is much higher than a regular (monogamous) person.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

That's really sad Amongst other things, what a terrible example to set for his children. He will be paying the price for that one one day, from them if not his wife and no amount of money is going to correct it.

It really is despicable. I have known this guy for ages and always knew he was a bit of a sh!t (but an entertaining sh!t), but even this was beyond the pale for him.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

It really is despicable. I have known this guy for ages and always knew he was a bit of a sh!t (but an entertaining sh!t), but even this was beyond the pale for him.

Well I definitely think that using someone else's money to do that puts the guy in the realm of the scumbag.

[KaiserD 12]

It's the idea that the guy is taking advantage of someone else's desperate circumstances. I find it hard to believe that many women do that job because they actually "enjoy" it.

I'm sure some do, at least for a while but not as many as the industry would like you to think. I've met too many people who weren't prostitutes but had a really unhealthy attitude to sex in general, either because of rape or abuse it seems obvious that people like this would end up in the business. Or for the financial advantage, like you say because I'm pretty sure it pays more than cleaning toilets or getting unemployment.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Well I definitely think that using someone else's money to do that puts the guy in the realm of the scumbag.

So we are both left with the question: do we ditch our friends for this one thing alone?

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Yeah I thought of that - and it probably isn't far from the truth. I tend to think though that once you go down that route, it can remove the temptation to pursue a normal relationship.

maybe, maybe not - it could take away from opportunities, but i'd bet that if he did get involved with someone later on it wouldn't be solely based on a physical relationship, which we see quite often nowadays.

As ####### shoots go, surely its like trying to avoid a roll of 1 on a single die versus rolling a 1 on a dozen dice.

again - maybe, maybe not. he could hook up with, for example, the queen tart of birmingham and catch every known disease, or he could for example purchase the services of some gal doing it on occasion to make extra money and be entirely safe.

while i agree there is a statistically higher potential for catching something from a prostitute, that does not discount the potential for catching something from someone he's seeing as i'd suspect people would be more inclined to use protection (condoms) with a prostitute and more likely to engage in unsafe sex with someone who isn't a prostitute.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

So we are both left with the question: do we ditch our friends for this one thing alone?

I don't know - I don't (obviously) see that side of the guy. In some ways though, I think I'd actually prefer if he just had a coke habit.

[KaiserD 12]

So we are both left with the question: do we ditch our friends for this one thing alone?

Don't you just hate those charismatic types lol He seems beyond moral lecturing, I wonder what will happen when all the money is gone.

The sad thing is, if she (the wife) doesn't respect herself (by trying to put a stop to it) he is not going to magically start respect her of his own free will.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

So we are both left with the question: do we ditch our friends for this one thing alone?

in your case, yes - as he's hurting his family and he does not seem to care. in duncan's case, more difficult to call.

[KaiserD 12]

maybe, maybe not - it could take away from opportunities, but i'd bet that if he did get involved with someone later on it wouldn't be solely based on a physical relationship, which we see quite often nowadays.

again - maybe, maybe not. he could hook up with, for example, the queen tart of birmingham and catch every known disease, or he could for example purchase the services of some gal doing it on occasion to make extra money and be entirely safe.

while i agree there is a statistically higher potential for catching something from a prostitute, that does not discount the potential for catching something from someone he's seeing as i'd suspect people would be more inclined to use protection (condoms) with a prostitute and more likely to engage in unsafe sex with someone who isn't a prostitute.

At least a prostitute is probably more likely to take an active role in her sexual health, getting checks at doctors and whatnot.