Guys who use prostitutes

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I'm not going there, Charles. But you might want to read that again, because it suggests a rather unsavory connotation.

The issue is the act of paying for sex, not having sex per se.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I'm not going there, Charles. But you might want to read that again, because it suggests a rather unsavory connotation.

The issue is the act of paying for sex, not having sex per se.

Glad to know I wasn't the only one to pick up on that.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Glad to know I wasn't the only one to pick up on that.

hmmm I dont see it.

[justashooter 430]

I have misgivings about someone who uses prostitutes for their own pleasure. To me, you have to be pretty far down on the moral scale to do something like that (especially regularly) and I think its not far removed from someone who abuses children.

you are projecting your own interpretation of the experience onto another person. just because that's the way it would be for you doesn't that's the way it is for everyone. remind me not to let you near my children.

[Moonandstar 6]

So I have an interesting problem:

I've recently reconnected with a very old UK friend of mine who I haven't seen since I moved out to the US in 2004. Really nice guy when I knew him before and a great laugh down the pub. Since I've been back we've been out on the piss a few times; anyway the other night I met him for a drink after work and we got talking about relationship issues and I asked my friend if he has a girlfriend (as far as I can remember he's never had one), anyway I got a response that I wasn't really expecting. Apparently, he doesn't have a girlfriend because he uses prostitutes, and apparently has done since he was 21.

Didn't quite believe him at first, but apparently he's dead serious about this. What I don't get is that this guy isn't unattractive, nor does he have a problem talking to women (that I've seen), in fact, he's actually quite literate and intelligent. Yet - he uses prostitutes...

Generally speaking, I don't really care what someone does in their private lives - I figure that most people have a little kink in them to some degree. Still, I have misgivings about someone who uses prostitutes for their own pleasure. To me, you have to be pretty far down on the moral scale to do something like that (especially regularly) and I think its not far removed from someone who abuses children.

Obviously I've not been back in contact with this guy for very long, but I'm tempted to close off the relationship. Not something I usually do and certainly not lightly. Has anyone had this sort of situation?

As opposed to, someone else's pleasure?

[PhiLandShiR 18]

It's the idea that the guy is taking advantage of someone else's desperate circumstances. I find it hard to believe that many women do that job because they actually "enjoy" it.

This is a straw man argument. Most of the people where I work don't enjoy it. They too have desperate circumstances. Bills to pay, kids to feed etc...

Should my employer then be charged with solicitation?

[justashooter 430]

Interesting thread. I don't think I could share in Madhouse's indignation because I have friends who do things a lot worse than see prostitutes. I have friends who are here illegally, who commit tax fraud on a regular basis, who are fast food franchise owners and pay their people below minimum wage under the table, who beat their wives, who steal expensive enterprise software, etc. I haven't cut anyone off, I don't think I'd cut someone off for this either.

somehow i am not surprised.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

you are projecting your own interpretation of the experience onto another person. just because that's the way it would be for you doesn't that's the way it is for everyone. remind me not to let you near my children.

So anyone who disapproved of anything is "projecting". Sounds like you need to crack the textbooks a little harder

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

somehow i am not surprised.

Its all justified via the victim mentality.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

This is a straw man argument. Most of the people where I work don't enjoy it. They too have desperate circumstances. Bills to pay, kids to feed etc...

Should my employer then be charged with solicitation?

So you bend over and take it for money do you? No? I think you'll find that your argument is straw man.

[justashooter 430]

So anyone who disapproved of anything is "projecting". Sounds like you need to crack the textbooks a little harder

someone who defines another persons experience or motivations by their own experience and prejudices is projecting. you describe the act of paying for time with a woman as revolting, so it prolly is for you. for others it may not be so. you describe the act of paying for time with a woman as akin to child molesting. you are seriously disturbed, and have very poorly defined boundaries. your moral basis is not the same as most peoples. i am glad you are no longer on my side of the pond.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Again, the question is whether or not prostitution is immoral or should be illegal, but whether someone who finds the practice revolting should stay friends with someone who takes part in it.

Reading comprehension FAIL.

[Captain Oates 911]

ok firstly the law:

In the UK prostitution is not illegal anywhere. Soliciting for the purpose of prostitution is, and keeping a brothel is. (If we can't sell beer, how can we hope to make money selling broth)

In the US, poor beaten down Americans suffer from a myriad of Federal, State and City laws that are different everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if some hick town didn't have a law prohibiting high heels on Sunday in 25mph zones.

ok now that's dealt with, how reprehensible is it ? I know women well enough to know that many of these men are the ones being used. These people use each other. It's nothing like paedophilia which is a one way deal.

If we actually knew how our friends really were and dropped em on the basis of this or that, then we would have very few left. That's why most people might have three real friends (In a whole lifetime) and the rest are peripheral contacts. I have total disdain for people who claim to have 50 friends - that is terminal shallowness.

I had a Polish drinking buddy and I went for a drink with him every Friday night for 14 years but never went to his house or met his wife so not a real friend. He babbled away while I got squiffy. After about 4 years, a woman came up to me and said "If that is your friend you should drop him - he undresses every woman who comes through the door - he is a pervert". A lot of middle aged men are perverts if that is the definition so I ignored it. Around 2006 he moved into another stage. The 16 year old glass collector could not pass us without he stopped her and chatted her up. I felt really uncomfortable - he was 62.

After a few weeks he said - the next time she comes past I am going to ask her out. He wasn't drunk.

I realised that I couldn't be around this situation and sent him a txt to say I had moved to the US when I hadn't. That was the last time I saw him.

If he had been going to prostitutes I would have felt much less uncomfortable and would still be hanging around with him and laughing at his stories no doubt.

PS 16 is ok in the UK. In the US, Michael Jackson saids two eights make a sixteen.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

someone who defines another persons experience or motivations by their own experience and prejudices is projecting. you describe the act of paying for time with a woman as revolting, so it prolly is for you. for others it may not be so. you describe the act of paying for time with a woman as akin to child molesting. you are seriously disturbed, and have very poorly defined boundaries. your moral basis is not the same as most peoples. i am glad you are no longer on my side of the pond.

Most people approve of men who pay for sex? I don't think so, Shooter....

You might. But then you aren't most people are you.

[Captain Oates 911]

Most people approve of men who pay for sex? I don't think so, Shooter....

You might. But then you aren't most people are you.

Thing is that people who pay for sex do not fit a stereotype:

Yes there are the filthy unwashed perverts who you can see in Amsterdam

There are the powdered scented rich Arabs in London

There are the divorced Stores Department Managers with a BO problem

I had a Police Sergeant who's wife was having an affair with their Catholic priest. He knew it and he went with trucker hookers on th A1 at 3am many nights.

Some are Managing Directors who are 'normal' in everyway and play golf with their buddies but their ice maiden wife has shut the shop up so he has an 'arrangement' with one woman.

Elliott Spitzer for instance - intelligent, respected, but his wife looks like a bedsocks at 7.30pm type to me. Not that I stereotype or rush to judgment haha !

So we are not talking dirty diseased underclass vagrant perverts necessarily. Many of us know men who are doing this and we have no idea and they seem fine

I once got talking to three women and all three were being maintained in apartments by wealthy married men. All three had nice clothes and cars and had been doing it for years

What goes on in society is all hidden but if I mention John Edwards or Bill Clinton you get the idea - Bill Clinton is the most popular political personality in the USA !

Edited July 23, 2010 by saywhat