Runaway wife will not co-operate

[mojorayjones 2]

Hi Everybody; My wife and I were only married for three months and we mutually agreed the marriage was failing. I have not filed for her AOS. She told me she was going to live with her cousins. She has three first cousins living close to us who are married to American men and are residents. I was OK with that arrangement because we were not getting along at all, I thought a little break away from each other was appropriate since she would be with family members whom I know, and know their addresses. But instead, she moved several hundred miles away (3-4 hr. car ride) to live with a Filippina friend of her's who is also recently married to an American. She has been illusive about her exact location.

She claims to co-operated with me, but then she won't tell me exactly where she is and what address she is at. I have done some research on her current address, but I'm not certain if the address I came up with is correct. I have filed the papers with the court for an annulment and now I have to serve her. She keeps telling me she will return to her cousin's house (very close to my home)but she does not return. It has been about 6 weeks since I've been trying to get her to come back. We communicate by phone and email. I have offered to come pick her up, support her, get her immigration help, but she refuses. She says she will return to her cousin's on her own "soon" but it doesn't happen. I told her I would help her as much as possible to get her status adjusted and not get sent back to the Philippines if at all possible (since she is from ARMM she probably could get political asylum and has lots of family in US already). She concurs the marriage has totally failed, but she is panicking now. She will often get emotional on the phone and irrational.

She is staying with an American man and his newlywed Filippina bride who has been here less than a year. I have requested that the American man call me. He does not. I feel that they are inappropriately harboring my runaway wife, when she should be close to me at her family's home, or in my home until we figure out how to adjust her status. She has so many cousins here married to American men, I'm sure she could get them to sponsor her and adjust her status, but her cousins are rather AWOL on this whole marriage melt down too. They have not been in touch with me since she left.

Since she is on a K1 visa and since I'm the sponsor, shouldn't she be complying with my demands to tell me where she is and to come back to live with me or her family? Is the American man and his wife whom she lives with breaking any laws with the USCIS or terms of the Visa?

I think I can get her served with the court papers but what steps should I start taking with the USCIS? Any other advise on her to get her to co-operate with me to return to live with her family or me if absolutely necessary is appreciated. I've been trying to get her to co-operate and be a nice guy, but now I feel like I may need to take more drastic steps involving the USCIS and a processed server.

Thanks in advance. I know its a long post, but wanted to give you all the juicy details.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

As she entered on a K-1 she cannot adjust status by any means other than marriage to you with your Affidavit of Support.

For the annulment see if service by publication (notice of filing published in a suitable paper in her area for a number of weeks) is acceptable since you can't make service in person.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Since she is on a K1 visa and since I'm the sponsor, shouldn't she be complying with my demands to tell me where she is and to come back to live with me or her family?

Your demands? Nope.

Your requests? Nope.

All you need to do is to serve her by publication, and notify USCIS about your annulment.

[rlogan 2,036]

Your demands? Nope.

Your requests? Nope.

All you need to do is to serve her by publication, and notify USCIS about your annulment.

Ditto on the service by publication. Do it immediately. It is not only clear what she's up to, but the fact she is eluding service of notice and enlisting the tacit help of friends and relatives means she views you as an enemy that needs to be fought with covert means. Despite saying she agrees to the annullment, she obviously does not or else she would pick the darned thing up herself or make service easy. It is not clear to me if she has signed the requisite documents that were submitted, and all that needs happen is service, or if you filed yourself and she is merely pretending to cooperate in order to buy time.

We have a house built next to the ARMM. Very nice people there. They blew up the bridge near our house. Killed some people with a backpack bomb in front of the store my wife had left earlier in the day. They slit the throats of co-workers of her father because they had gone into the ARMM on a masonry job. Check out the situatioon with the mass-murder of the journalists and political opponents of the mayor recently. Sweet.

It goes without saying there are bad people in every society. But be circumspect about what you've got and what kind of cultural mileu she came from.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Your wife entered with a K-1. The K-1 is a single entry visa. It expires the moment the immigrant is admitted to the US. The requirement of the K-1 is to get married to the petitioning spouse within a 90-day time period. She did that. Now we are entering a very blurry gray zone.

Some people believe she is illegal in the country as soon as her I-94 expires, whereas others, given that the law does not spell out in which time frame a married K-1 has to adjust status, believe that she is now legal in the country.

In any case, she cannot adjust status to an LPR by any other means but through your petition, and if she does not have a SSN and a driver license, she wont' be able to get one in all but 4 States of the Union.

It's possible that she believes she can buy time, eventually marry somebody else, and then adjust status. That's not the case, however.

Promising her that you would help he with immigration, as you stated, puts you in a difficult position, as that's not possible by any other means but fraud. Is that really what you want to propose in written form so that it can be used against you? I think not.

You need to have her served, and if you can't do that, publish it and file for a divorce in absentia. Also inform USCIS that your marriage didn't work out and that you do not wish to file for her AOS. This way your hands are clean.

Then move on with your life and let the Feds decide if and how they want to tackle this.

[belinda63 3,041]

First of all she is your wife not your property. She has the right to come and go as she pleases (until her I-94 expires) and do as she wishes. You cannot MAKE her do anything.

The only way she can obtain her green card is by marriage to you or possibly as a refugee, other than this she must leave the country.

I suggest you do not file any paperwork to assist her in any way with her adjustment of status. If you submit an I-864 and her green card is approved you can be responsible for re-paying the government back for any means-tested aid she may receive.

Check if the service by publication is acceptable, complete the divorce/annulment, do not file for AOS, notify USCIS and ICE.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

If you submit an I-864 and her green card is approved you can be responsible for re-paying the government back for any means-tested aid she may receive.

Little 4-1-1:

"Means tested benefits" are reserved for lawful permanent residents after they have resided for at least 5 years in the United States of America. He's not gonna have to pay for nothin'

[leahandlucas 15]

Demands?....damn...just file for an annulment, and then have her served at the address you believe she is at, and then call USCIS and tell them you are not continuing with the AOS part.

Basic,...is that a good enough "demand" for you?...

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Since she is on a K1 visa and since I'm the sponsor, shouldn't she be complying with my demands to tell me where she is and to come back to live with me or her family? Is the American man and his wife whom she lives with breaking any laws with the USCIS or terms of the Visa?

I think I can get her served with the court papers but what steps should I start taking with the USCIS? Any other advise on her to get her to co-operate with me to return to live with her family or me if absolutely necessary is appreciated. I've been trying to get her to co-operate and be a nice guy, but now I feel like I may need to take more drastic steps involving the USCIS and a processed server.

Thanks in advance. I know its a long post, but wanted to give you all the juicy details.

People are overreacting I think to your reference to her obeying your "demands"... I just think it was poor wording on your part. Anyway on to your question..

Unfortunately what you're telling us happens more often than you think. You sponsored her visa to get her here yes, and if it wasn't a K1 visa then she could marry someone else and ####### you... however a K1 is special.

She had 90 days to marry you. She isn't really "protected" per se by her marriage to you... If she's caught by ICE once her I-94 expires they can detain her and put her in front of an immigration judge. IF she's still married to you at the time you and her would see the judge and say you want to AOS but havent' had time yet. He'd likely dismiss the case and tell you to AOS her ASAP. If you and her have divorced or are in the process of it, she will probably be deported because it's obvious an AOS based on the K1 marriage didn't and won't occur therefore her status in the US is terminated.

Also, she cannot divorce you, marry someone else and AOS. She can TRY of course but it won't work, she'll just have wasted the money. The K1 specifies she can ONLY get her GC through her marriage to YOU, the K1 sponsor so I don't really know what she's doing or thinking.

She doesn't have to hang around you once she's here. She has 90 days to marry you. She has 90 days to be "in status" and once that time passes she's in very murky water as I said and whether she's with you or not with you affects whether she's going to be deported. Some people who arrive on a K1 just use the USC to get here and plan to remain here out-of-status. Some go ahead with the marriage AND the AOS so they get the GC and then divorce the USC and marry someone else. Some claim abuse to get the GC without the USC's help. Some even have kids to "fake" a real marriage.

Basically as everyone else said file for divorce. Hell have the divorce advertised in the paper where you THINK she is, and also the paper in your local area where she SHOULD be. You can divorce her in-absentia. I wouldn't AOS her because you can be "on the hook" for a very long time, not to mention if you're helping her get a GC just because, and not for love, then it is immigration fraud... its not worth it to yourself to risk that. It's obvious she doesn't give a ###### about you. It's obvious she's scared and trying to find a solution to her status. DO NOT be alone with her. As I said before, some immigrants claim abuse when there is none and get a GC that way. The accuse you of abuse, call the police to have you charged and it's on your record that you're a wife beater... definitely not worth it. File for divorce, AVOID her, change the locks if she has a key and report her to USCIS and ICE that you are no longer together and where you think she is. This ensure's YOU protect yourself.

Good luck!

[justashooter 430]

agreed that you have been kicked to the curb, buddy. she has gotten the ticket to USA. that is all she wanted from you, and now you are just a piece of trash for her to leave on the side of the road and let the dogs (us) rummage thru.

man up and level the playing field. file a divorce for cause of abandonment with a decent lawyer. don't give her the annulment. this would be to her benefit, but in no way benefits you. stop kissing her azz and pull up your pants. she is done whipping you, and we have no interest in continuing the process.

if you want help getting thru this, hang around and we will advise you on how to save your own azz while being entirely indifferent to her plight. she doesn't love you dude, so you need to leave the love you want to give to her exactly where she has left it (in the garbage) and develop an attitude of indifference to her.

god bless.

[jrmejia 31]

I always think of the scenario you are going through. I am working on my fiancee visa but always keep one eye open..oh well...sometimes this thing is like flipping a coin... head or tail.

[inloveVEN 46]

Hi

Sometimes is hard to beleave that a relation has ended. In my opinion you are in love so you wanna bring her back no matter how , no matter what. Thats why you want to help her with the imigration process, but based on your circunstances it is fraud because there is no relation. Be carefull with that and you can dealnwith a lot of penaltys that you dont need.

Thats why you talk about demands and regrets. But if she really dont want to go back with you, well there is nothing you can do.

Dont try to call her or be in touch with her. Because this can be used by against you in case she want it

Just fiel the divorce, and notify uscis that yiour relationship with her ended.

She won t be able to adjust since she came with an k1 visa.

And if you keep calling her and giving ortder and demanding thins for her, she maight use it to stand that you are a kind of maniac and she is afraid of you and the process can start a new unexpected twist.

[New Beginnings 32]

Yeah, I have to say the "shouldn't she comply with my demands" part made my skin crawl. I don't know you from Adam but you might want to figure out some things about yourself. Any guy that believes that his fiance or wife should comply with his demands makes me a little nervous.

Your marrying a person not training a dog. Time to take a step back.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I have offered to come pick her up, support her, get her immigration help, but she refuses.

...

I feel that they are inappropriately harboring my runaway wife, when she should be close to me at her family's home, or in my home until we figure out how to adjust her status.

What you are suggesting here is that you are willing to be an accomplice in immigration fraud. A petitionable marriage is one which has not already collapsed and which you are already seeking to have annulled.

Since she is on a K1 visa and since I'm the sponsor, shouldn't she be complying with my demands to tell me where she is and to come back to live with me or her family? Is the American man and his wife whom she lives with breaking any laws with the USCIS or terms of the Visa?

She doesn't have to comply with anything you ask. The US is a free country, even for non-immigrants.

I honestly don't know if her friends are breaking any laws. Her I-94 is expired, so technically they might be guilty of "harboring". I'm not certain about that, though. Being out of status is a deportable offense, but it's not a crime punishable with a jail sentence. Is it a crime to harbor someone who is deportable but hasn't committed any crime? I've read a number of cases of people being prosecuted for harboring illegal aliens (people who entered the US illegally), but I don't recall reading any cases of someone being prosecuted for harboring someone who was out of status. Unless you have evidence this is some sort of immigration fraud ring, I doubt ICE would do anything about it.

My advice, for what it's worth - finish the annulment or divorce, send a letter to USCIS letting them know that you've ended the marriage and won't be sponsoring her for a green card, and then forget about her and move on with your life.

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

Why do you think you OWE her anything or help to stay here in the USA. It is clear from reading this post she used you just to get here and commited marriage fraud. Write the USCIS and I.C.E. and have her deported. First find pout exactly where she is.

If she wants to live here she can go back to her country and file for other types of immigration. Hopefully she will be placed on the banned list by the US Embassy.