Regretting that I am a US CITIZEN!!

[1HappyGuy 45]

Under no circumstances should you be regretting or ashamed of being an American. You simply were the target of a green card scammer. It sounds like you poured your heart and soul into this relationship only to find out later that he was lying to you for quite some time. This guy does not deserve your tears and heartache.

You have learned a very hard lesson. Give yourself time to recover and move forward in your life. Unfortunately some people are fooled by love or what they thought was love. It takes two people to make a real marriage. The next time you will be more careful and aware.

Everyone has suffered heartache through relationship, if you just live long enough. Don't despair, there is someone out there that will love you as you deserve.

[Amber824 4]

I read the saga... but I am sorry there is nothing wrong in being US citizen. You were naive and you did not understand the law right.

Officer at the entry did his job and he was 100% right in denying entry to your husband after honeymoon. When he first got his tourist visa, he did state he was going for non-immigrant purpose.

After marriage that status had changed and so did his intention so his B1/B2 is not valid anymore.

You driving to Vermont and just handing the form to someone and they would stamp it right away - comon that does not work that way.

From begining of the story, you I can tell someone coming to US on B1/B2 as tourist and falls madly in love and is getting married to US citizen, most likely he/she is only doing that to live in US - comon.

Sorry I am rude, but m honest and frank.

HOW DARE you say this BS to this woman! Hasn't she gone through ENOUGH???? She realizes everything that has happened, she did NOTHING wrong AND NO, she was NOT NAIVE!!!! Her heart got in the way because love is a very powerful thing and that hideous man just destroyed her. You have no right to judge and you did NO help whatsoever with your 'im just being honest'

Gosh I can not STAND people on the internet that think they have balls and can just say whatever they want, no matter who it hurts..its disturbing!

I'm sorry! This story truly upset me, and THEN to read that comment, I felt like it was your husband(ex now?) himself, a creep! I am so sorry for what you went through, its everyones fear that has to go through this process, thinking in the back of our minds that he just may be using you..heck, I still think it, im about 99.9% sure that my husband isn't using me, after all that we've been through but still, our process is NOT over and there's that slight chance it might still happen...there are great manipulators out there and ya never know who they are until its too late. I feel your pain, I am so sorry, I truly am, what a devastating story, the story just got worse and worse, I was getting madder and madder as the story went on! I don't even know you but I am willing to track this fool down myself and give him a piece of my mind AND that little 'you know what' he's with now...her sending you emails, omg!!!!!!

Again, I am so sorry for what you've been through, I know you have no idea who I am but I wish you all the best in your life. And PLEASE do NOT listen to the creeps who put you down, they are NOT important!!!

Take care

Edited July 21, 2010 by Amber824

[wendy&tamer 10]

I am sorry you had to go through such a hard time. I do hope you will allow yourself to heal. I also believe what goes around comes around and many times it is when you least expect it. You gave your heart and soul to someone you trusted and well dear I hope that someone will come around and show you the love you truly deserve. Do not waste your tears on him, that would give him too much pleasure. Keep you head held high and know that all you did was for the right reason in your heart. My prayers are with you and may you find happiness in so many other ways and find someone who deserves the love you have to offer (it is a true gift).

[ilovebangladesh 1]

I'm really so sorry to hear what happened. I agree with the others that it is a good idea to contact the Canadian immigration officials.

(((hugs)))

[emt103c 10]

I don't have a minute to read all seven pages right this second, but in Canada, if he's being sponsored "common-law" he cannot already be married to someone else. . .he must be lying on the paperwork. . .if you're feeling like revenge might be fun any time soon. . .

[Movin on New Life 3]

Well my fellow VJers... it has been a few months since my last posting... quite a few heartwrenching, devestating months!

Unfortunately my Visa Journey is now coming to an end and not a happy one... I am still in shock, disbelief, anguish and hurt and now merely

another sad static. I have read many sad stories here of other people in the same position one way or another being victim to someone merely wanting citizenship.I had so

much sympathy and compassion for all of them... but said to myself no that wont happen to me...

My heart (what is left of it) and prayers go out to all of them.. May I also be so bold as to advise all of you still waiting.... no matter how much he or she says

they love you.... protect yourself and make sure there is trust and even arrangements made for..."what if US immigration isnt approved" have they asked and even made arrangements

of any kind for you to return to their home country or another country in order to remain husband and wife???? If not..then chances are pretty high they just want US citizenship.

Having kept this all to myself and not spoke of any problems to my friends or family.... I am left to fulfill my need to have someone to talk to, by posting here. So for anyone

who cares to listen.... here goes..

We were married August 2005... my husband was here in US on tourist visa. Our I130 was on the dining room table (awaiting copy of our marriage certificate to arrive in the mail) as we

drove to Canada to visit some friends, do some business errands, and have our honeymoon. It was absolutely wonderful! Wonderful until we came to customs to return to US. (Note... before

we left we placed a telephone call to an attorney supposedly experienced with immigration to ask if we need anything or should have any problems... his response... "no as long as his tourist visa

is valid") When questioned by the booth officer as to why we were in Canada.. we spoke the truth... friends, business and we were celebrating our honeymoon" He said ohhh great congratulations! A few minutes

of him writing something and on the computer... he handed us a slip and said ok you need to go inside and speak with them. Once inside and questioned... they asked if we had a I130 in process. told them no it

was not submitted yet because we were waiting for marriage certificate...which by the way arrived in mail the day we left for Canada. Then they took my husband's passport drew a line thru it...voiding it and said... you can go back to US but he can not... he is now your husband and you must submit I130. They gave him a 6 month visa to stay in Canada. "Totally inlove" I was not leaving without him. we turned around, went back to Canada

searched for hotel, I stayed for two more days and left him with my car and returned by bus to US to handle I130.. Totally lost devestated and crying the whole 6 hour bus ride home. Being Niave I drove 4 hours to Vermont

Service Center to submit my I130 expecting some kind of piece of paper to take to Canada to retrieve my husband. More hysteria sets in.... no no no what do you mean could take 6 months to a year????

computer research, inquiries... telephone calls..and then my eyes are truly OPENED with my introduction to VISA Journey.com....

After confirming this could take months... we got an apartment... my husband began his own arrangements to begin attaining temporary permission to stay in Canada after the 6 months while we waited for the I130.

Now with a few exceptions,,, for the next three years EVERY Sunday I drove 5 hours to spend one week in Canada to be wife to my husband and then the next week in US to be mom to my adult daughter and keep my

business functioning. Every little thing that could go wrong seemed to go wrong to delay the processing and completion of the I130. (word of advise... always always confirm and reconfirm any and all

information requirements and/or procedures you will need.. Lawyers and yes even USCIS employees give incorrect information causing even more frustration and delay.

Fast forward now.... 2006 at the interview we are informed we need a I601 submitted due to his almost 6 month overstay in US back in 1994) More delays in getting required documents and information

to submit the I601 waiver... hours and hours and months.... I finally submit almost 200 pages of waiver in Sept 2007. Periodic inquiries over the next year get me nothing but processing

was told could take up to 18 months. Almost 2 years later I finally get the senators office to do something. Within 24 hours of Senators office asking for supervisor... we receive denial! hmmmm????

July 2009... my husband begins telling me they are never gonna approve....you should go on with your life and he should begin considering alternative....

alternatives I thought meant living in greece or something.... not family prearranging Arabic woman in Canada!!!! (Why did I not try to live in Canada you ask.... I did paid all the money for processing residency

there only to be denied... I didnt meet the required "Point system" due to them not accepting my post high school education as "Accreditied Colleges") the last 8 months I began to see strains on our relationship..

my husband who was always open... loving... and eager was becoming irritable, reclusive and even secretive... this combined with my visits becoming every two weekends to twice only going up one long weekend for the month

due to family illness, death and my getting hurt. Then boommmm the bombshell dropped... his words cut like a knife....." we have to accept things... they are never going to approve and my time

in Canada is running out... have to make other arrangements... his tears and his words, telling me I should not come up for awhile because it hurts too much and we should try to make it easier incase we do have to be seperated... for the next long almost three months... his phone calls still every nite and even more than once a day, ...kept me believing our love..and hoping and working on US approval...

I go to his work just before his is to be done because I knew I wouldnt be able to get into the apartment because he had informed me allegedly someone broke into the apartment a month prior and he had to change the locks...

I call his cell to tell him I am outside.....he comes out... what are you doing here I thought you were not coming up until two weeks longer... told him I couldnt wait any longer

told him I would just go home unpack and make diner for him... he said no wait 20 minutes for me to get out of work... want to go for a drive first.

I anxiously wait... he comes out... takes me for a drive... go to a park and he says... walk with me... I have to talk to you... "I have tried so many times to tell you over the phone but I didnt want to hurt you but

I have been telling you I have to make arrangements because my time is running out... you cant go to the apartment...someone else is living there now... moved in today!

What???? I was hysterical.... I couldnt beleive it...crying questioning overwhelmed I make him bring me back to my car... all the time him begging... pleading... even crying that he was so sorry and didnt want to hurt me

and trying to convince me that he did and STILL does loves me!!! I get back to my car and take off to our apartment... he follows me.... arriving at the apartment before him... I look up and can see in the window a woman there and some of my stuff in the hallway.... I ring the buzzard to open outside door... she answers hello hello... I say I am XXXX"s wife let me in... she says no XXXXX lives here he moved....

He comes running down the walkway now.....devastated I run to my car... he hops in from passenger side pulls my keys out and says wait wait listen...

Fast forward again....I am too upset and besides myself to drive the almost 6 hour back to US... He brings me to hotel... spends next 2 hours pleading with me to understand and forgive him for hurting me... all the while

she keeps calling his cell every 15 minutes or so... he leaves and ofcourse I dont sleep... just cry and vomit all nite... he begs me to stay and talk to him more tomorrow. ok I guess enough details

on the subject.... I am sure you get the jest of it all..

Now the next two months of his calls and my tears and pain... while I try to figure things out.... he keeps telling me.... you dont have to divorce me.. he doesnt want a divorce... he just

needs time to figure out... that she is just incase... because I wouldnt be able to see him if he was sent back to EGYPT..etc Also two months of her and her friends sending me emails saying she was told

we were getting divorced long before her but had been held up for a year because I wouldnt sign and I was just for US citizenhip etc ...

Well I find out that a Canadian citizen can sponsor as common law partner.. all they have to do is prove living together. Now the Ultimate betrayal!!!!!!! I find out yesterday that she is pregnant!!!!

just arrangement for Canada papers.... bullcrap!!! He just didnt want me to divorce and cancel US.. I am sure now his intentions were to wait and divorce me after he got his US approval.. How could I have been so stupid and such a fool!!!!! shock...devestation...betrayl....pain pain pain... these words dont even begin to describe how I feel now.

I have always been happy and proud to be a US citizen.... but because of this I regret being a US citizen...

Thank you for listening....now I must begin to deal with how I will face the shame and hurt and foolishness I feel when telling my family and friends

God bless and spare anyone this kind of pain

Thank you all for your responses... Good...Bad... or indifferent! I will address each one... in a few hours as I thoroughly drained emotionally and physically now. Also I have an appointment to attend

so I will come back later this evening. but thank you all for taking a moment out of your day to make a fellow human being feel like they were heard and someone cared!

Just two things quickly and I will write more this evening:

1. does anyone know the procedure for canceling a spousal visa?? Is a telephone call sufficient and/or something in writing? I just want to make sure there is no

form I neglect to submit.

2. My apologies to anyone offended by my "Regretting to be a US citizen" Everyday I am completed and utterly blessed, proud and thankful that I am a US Citizen! I was emotionally wide open and raw when I titled the posting.. I merely meant I was Regretful for being a US citizen at the moment because then this situation of pain would not have happened to me... Pleeeeease please before anyone jumps back on me.... yes I know I could suffer hurt, pain and betrayal any time and from any guy no matter what country he is from. YES I know this... I just feel I wouldn't have suffered so much and certain details... oh heckkkk I can't go on defending myself and my words....

I am pretty sure people know what I meant.... besides I feel I should not be defending myself right now at all, at least not here!!! He should be the one defending.

Anyways I have to run for now and thank you again.. I welcome your ear to listen and your words to advise...

[1HappyGuy 45]

You should definitely make your response to the immigration service in writing. That is the best method for ensuring the proper action is taken. Next, work towards getting your marriage dissolved. In every step keep good documentation. Someday you may go through this process again in the proper order and have need for a good record of what transpired before.

Regarding your painful regrets of U.S. citizenship, we do understand. Everyone here that has dealt with our immigration service has felt mistreated or a second class citizen just for going through the process legally. You tried to make a bad situation right with the true intentions. Time now to start putting your life back together.

As far as this guy going through a different process in Canada. I think a truthful letter to their immigration service in Canada regarding him is warranted. It is not vengeful to let someone know the truth about a person, especially if he is attempting to enter a country under false pretenses.

We all feel your pain. The thing is to learn from it, grow as a person and move your life forward in a positive manner.

[RyannTanya 2]

I am truly sorry for what you had to go through. My advise for you would be that to call US immigration and cancel his on going I-130 petition. At the same time report him to Canadian immigration. What he's trying to do is fraudulent. He is using two women to get what he wants, and its time for you do your part to counteract what he's doing. I know it is harder for you deal with the this hard reality, but it is what it is and he has been using you up until now. There is nothing wrong in being a US Citizen. The issue is not your US citizenship but rather having to marry a person with no integrity and a soul.

Take it as a lesson with a big price tag, but my friend, you are luckier than the woman who he impregnated. Be strong, and be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

[RyannTanya 2]

You can reach US immigration USCIS customer service number at 1-800-375-5283 and ask to cancel his on going I-130 petition. Also write a letter stating that you would like to withdraw your appeal/application for his immigration to the right service center. To my knowledge there is no form to fill out, but when you call USCIS you can ask a representative if there is form you should fill

[LiLMermaid 2]

As far as I know, Canada also does not allow polygamy. If the two of you are still legally married, then he can not get canadian residence based on common law marriage.....due to the fact that he is legally married to someone else (you) already. Report your marriage and this to the Canadian immigration officials.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your story is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you.......

Not true unfortunately...you can be still legally married and common law at the same time as long as you are separated. It works for them for tax purposes, if common law wasn't in effect people would just live together, have kids and claim single. Way better tax breaks.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Personal attacks and insults are a violation of the Terms of Service for VJ. Posts violating TOS and posts quoting same, have been removed. This thread is also not the appropriate forum for any sort of political agendas and any such posts will also be removed.

Edited July 23, 2010 by Kathryn41

[shedn 0]

I was unable to read you entire read, yet if u really want to get results u might do this now.YOUR best bet is to contact you senator and congress man or woman and quicly lay out the story in an email, fax and letter, and then call. Statesmen have been able to move mountains in this area. aslo, you can use an attorney experianced in this, and might have grounds for suit.

God-speed to u and best wishes

[Muhammad n Maryam 1]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. And also I admire you for being brave in telling what has happened to you, as I'm sure this has been done to many people that have not shared their story.And I hope this will bring sum kind of comfort to you, in saying that, with time the pain will lessen. And you'll become a wiser and stronger person. I also pray that this will not leave bad feelings towards people from Egypt or any other foreign country. And mostly I pray you'll love again unconditionally as you did before. As I believe God has someone for you , he was just not the one. And also know this he is the loser as he lost you, and your much better than him, you have charter something he knows nothing about !

On judgment day he will have to answer to what he has done to you !

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Maryam Amin

"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often

discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he

who never made a mistake never made a discovery"

[Always+Forever 7]

Thank you all for your responses... Good...Bad... or indifferent! I will address each one... in a few hours as I thoroughly drained emotionally and physically now. Also I have an appointment to attend

so I will come back later this evening. but thank you all for taking a moment out of your day to make a fellow human being feel like they were heard and someone cared!

Just two things quickly and I will write more this evening:

1. does anyone know the procedure for canceling a spousal visa?? Is a telephone call sufficient and/or something in writing? I just want to make sure there is no

form I neglect to submit.

2. My apologies to anyone offended by my "Regretting to be a US citizen" Everyday I am completed and utterly blessed, proud and thankful that I am a US Citizen! I was emotionally wide open and raw when I titled the posting.. I merely meant I was Regretful for being a US citizen at the moment because then this situation of pain would not have happened to me... Pleeeeease please before anyone jumps back on me.... yes I know I could suffer hurt, pain and betrayal any time and from any guy no matter what country he is from. YES I know this... I just feel I wouldn't have suffered so much and certain details... oh heckkkk I can't go on defending myself and my words....

I am pretty sure people know what I meant.... besides I feel I should not be defending myself right now at all, at least not here!!! He should be the one defending.

Anyways I have to run for now and thank you again.. I welcome your ear to listen and your words to advise...

I am so sorry you had to go through all of this, and i understand what you meant by the US citizen comment....that u are hurt and maybe u wouldn't have been used for a visa...and I know some ppl can be rough & some times brutle on here...i think sometimes their "honest" way of saying things isn't intended to be cruel, but to point out facts the way they see them. So you have to take everything on here with a grain of salt...And hind sight is always 20/20 I have been in your shoes also (not for as long, but still) and I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Its usually VERY hard to tell why at the time, but I'm sure everything will work out for u!! Hopefully sooner than later. Best of luck in what is to come. And as for notifying Canada...i have a mixed view on that, because he could have made her pregnant just so he could stay in Canada. So I lean more towards the reporting him. And I also am considering the child in the decision...being a single mother myself, I have found that it is better to not have an uncaring father involved...just my opinion though

Monica

[Harsh_77 718]

HOW DARE you say this BS to this woman! Hasn't she gone through ENOUGH???? She realizes everything that has happened, she did NOTHING wrong AND NO, she was NOT NAIVE!!!! Her heart got in the way because love is a very powerful thing and that hideous man just destroyed her. You have no right to judge and you did NO help whatsoever with your 'im just being honest'

Gosh I can not STAND people on the internet that think they have balls and can just say whatever they want, no matter who it hurts..its disturbing!

I'm sorry! This story truly upset me, and THEN to read that comment, I felt like it was your husband(ex now?) himself, a creep! I am so sorry for what you went through, its everyones fear that has to go through this process, thinking in the back of our minds that he just may be using you..heck, I still think it, im about 99.9% sure that my husband isn't using me, after all that we've been through but still, our process is NOT over and there's that slight chance it might still happen...there are great manipulators out there and ya never know who they are until its too late. I feel your pain, I am so sorry, I truly am, what a devastating story, the story just got worse and worse, I was getting madder and madder as the story went on! I don't even know you but I am willing to track this fool down myself and give him a piece of my mind AND that little 'you know what' he's with now...her sending you emails, omg!!!!!!

Again, I am so sorry for what you've been through, I know you have no idea who I am but I wish you all the best in your life. And PLEASE do NOT listen to the creeps who put you down, they are NOT important!!!

Take care

Amber - there is nothing wrong in what I said earlier. comon someone coming to US on B1/B2 falling in love with a "US Citizen" nobody else comon give me a break.

My other point is there is nothing wrong being a US citizen and how the story was told she had to suffer coz she is US Citizen...then in that case if the guy really loves her, there is option of living in some other country. All this was happening he was dating another woman and she was not aware or she could not catch that up earlier comon.

I called her naive - yes hello I cannot just walk upto a counter in Vermont and give my documents and expect my passport to be stamped right away, if they were not aware of the law and arent they naive?

Sorry Amber pls dont use this argument when you are pulled over by cop for speeding, " I did not know what the speed limit was" you will get the ticket 100%.

Even we have to go thru the same immigration process and have to stay away from our loved ones for extended time, but just coz one is not aware of the law and regulation does not mean they get an expdiated process. There is no reason to say her being a US citizen is the coz of all the fiasco, it was her partner's ill itentions if he really loved her he could had gone back to Egypt and waited there, he did not wanted to leave the western country so why is this lady creating ruckus about her being US citizen is cause of all the problem.