She's here!

[slim 1,519]

left me a present of stinky fish remains in the kitchen can two days ago.

I leave it there. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Fooooo. Vanyaet. Why you not take out garbage?" I'd be a millionaire. However, no matter how much money I have it wouldn't be enough to convince her that she has to empty the garbage after putting stinky fish or something else in it or else it will stink. Even in America we don't have magic garbage cans. Much like the cats' litter box, the cans also don't empty themselves.

Getting her to actually seal the lids every time is a different thing.

Good luck with that. We're about to hit four years and while there's been improvement, it's still not consistent enough for me to have faith in leftovers.

The only fish she'll touch - now that she's been appropriately spoiled - is a natural Alaskan salmon steak.

I'm doing my best to get catfish in her good graces. I slip it in here and there and surprisingly enough she's starting to come around. It's amazing that stinky salty fish is "delicious" but catfish is nasty. "Fooo. Your catfish so horrible." What she really means is "Foo, your catfish so cheap. I'm too sophisticated lady to eat cheap stuff. You must buy for me salmon or swordfish."

Hey, I like salmon too, but I can buy 10X the catfish for the same price.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Vika would sa "and so what?"

OMG Alla says that also. Or just "And...what?" She also uses the Ukrainian contraption, a little copper pot shaped like a beaker, to boil coffee with the grounds and all. She also calls it "natural coffee"

[Brad and Vika 129]

OMG Alla says that also. Or just "And...what?" She also uses the Ukrainian contraption, a little copper pot shaped like a beaker, to boil coffee with the grounds and all. She also calls it "natural coffee"

Begging the question "why do coffee grounds in your teeth make the coffee natural?"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Begging the question "why do coffee grounds in your teeth make the coffee natural?"

I am not a coffee drinker, so I cannot comment, but I have mentioned more or less the same thing. "If a coffee machine uses the same coffee, how is it not natural?" The "best" answer so far? "Because it is made by a machine."

I will note for the record that the same logic does NOT apply to "natural laundry" for which she has commented that the "machine for dry clothes" is one of her favorite things of living in the USA! She also eschews "natural dishwashing" and loves her new dishwasher!

[slim 1,519]

Or just "And...what?"

One day I woke up with wax all over me. My wife and I had been out on the town the night before partying it up with a few of our buddies. She got all angry and left in a tizzy. I came home and passed out on the couch. The next morning, I woke up and noticed the wax all over me.

"Why do I have wax all over me?"

"Because last night I so angry on you."

"You know, pouring hot wax on someone while they're passed out isn't 'normal' behavior for married people, right?"

"And what?"

My buddy thought it was both hilarious and kind of strange all at the same time so he told her Russian girlfriend about it when she joined us for breakfast. "You know that's messed up. She poured hot wax all over him. That aint right." Her reply -

"And what?"

she has commented that the "machine for dry clothes" is one of her favorite things of living in the USA!

My wife used to hang every single piece of clothing on the line to dry. She didn't want to use the "dry machine" because it would mess up her clothes and wasn't "natural prahtsyess." Now, she still hangs quite a bit of stuff on there to dry, but it's only the stuff she hand washes. It seems that every year that goes by, leass and less "work" is done to maintain natural protcess and more and more "easy American lifestyle" is achieved. What that does for my piece of mind goes without saying.

She also eschews "natural dishwashing" and loves her new dishwasher!

This is the new gold standard for us. My wife constantly complains that I'm so poor I haven't even bought her a house with dishwasher. "Why I must make my hands dirty for clean your dishes? We in America, baby! You must buy for your wife dishwasher." I tell her we'd have to buy a new house to get a dishwasher and she says, "So, do it."

Four years down the road... still no dishwasher. "You know, if you worked full-time we could probably buy a house with a dishwasher..."

"And what?"

[1HappyGuy 45]

Ah, it does my heart good to hear all of us with the same complaints and consistent traits from our ladies. There is now a dead fish sitting in our refrigerator waiting to be unwrapped and stink up the entire house. I don't know what she is waiting for as she knows I'll not be joining in the eating. Years ago I bought a large set of plastic containers for leftovers. Most are used but not in the way they are intended. The lids are used like a dish but usually for something nasty looking. The containers are used to hold things in various stages of food life from frozen to OMG what is that! What I'm finding now is containers holding things in the frig but aluminum foil as a lid instead of the plastic lid.

And to Cranehand, relax. Although we all have these unusual stories about our new spouses, believe me when I say that we are still much happier that we would be alone.

As for the Ukrainian coffee pot, that sounds a lot like the old percolators from years ago. Buy some filters and put one in the bottom where the coffee goes in before brewing. If she complains, ask her to try it first. If that doesn't work, start drinking instant coffee.

[baron555 934]

Ah, it does my heart good to hear all of us with the same complaints and consistent traits from our ladies.

Man, I am just so glad that the MOB I picked lived in Moscow and not in some far away village like all your ladies you all talk about.

She hates stinky fish, knows that the number 1 lid goes on the container marked with number 1 on the bottom (another great American invention!), knows how to burp the air out of a Ziploc AND how to close it, refrigerates things pretty quickly once finished, uses aluminum foil and stretch wrap religiously (as well as the plastic bags for produce from the market), uses both the washer and dryer, we have no dishwasher but I am not loathe to lather up and wash them myself so she is not also, hasn't cooked anything bad or disgusting (just doesn't want to do borscht), likes grilled fish and vegetables (just loves grilled asparagus and now sweet corn (another American invention)), and really likes my Flavia coffee maker (we do have a plunger coffee maker that we use when camping that makes "natural coffee").

[1HappyGuy 45]

Man, I am just so glad that the MOB I picked lived in Moscow and not in some far away village like all your ladies you all talk about.

Well, I can understand why Baron555 thinks so many of us have MOB's from villages. Moscow has a population of 10 million while Kiev, Ukraine is only about 3 million. It was the 3rd largest city in the FSU behind Moscow and St. Petersburg. Of course, Kiev was founded in 482 while the earliest reference to Moscow is 1147. So, I guess the village in the swamp has grown over the years in comparison to other FSU cities. But, I'll take my poor village girl any day over citified, sophisticated Moscow girls.

[slim 1,519]

we are still much happier that we would be alone.

I don't know about that... but I do know I'll take her over the 220lb. local variety that some dudes have.

Buy some filters and put one in the bottom where the coffee goes in before brewing. If she complains,

She will still complain. The only way to get your wife to do anything "American" is to make it easier and quicker and stick with it. There are "natural" coffee filters that are unbleached and made from free-ranged, non-antibiotic-infused, organic trees - or something like that. Convince here these are just as healthy as doing it the old fashioned way.

I'm not a coffee drinker so when my wife first came here she did the old grind it up, cook it, strain it, etc. I bought her a coffee maker and she HATED ground coffee. So, we had to go through the "I'll take the extra time (and money) to grind coffee beans every morning before I make coffee" for a while. Finally, that got old so now we're down to the traditional American two scoops in the pot and push play.

Of course, we're still using "organic, fresh roasted" coffee grouds, "natural" filters and "purified, filtered" water. But, at least it doesn't take her 34 minutes anymore and I don't have to hear about how much easier and better it was in Russia.

Just a tip for the noobs... splurge a little on coffee, tea, and desserts. Instead of getting the store brand, get one that's an extra $5 for no reason. She'll love it! If she sees that it's "best of the best from this store" it will be acceptable, even if it is made in the same plant as the store brand. Illusions of grandeur. That's the key to keeping her happy.

Man, I am just so glad that the MOB I picked lived in Moscow and not in some far away village like all your ladies you all talk about

You hit the jackpot, man!

I'll take my poor village girl any day over citified, sophisticated Moscow girls.

I honestly tried to get a city girl. I met my wife while we were living in a big city in Korea. She explained that she was from a small city (appx. 50,000) but lived in Khabarovsk and Vladivostok most of the time. Both of those cities have around 600,000 people. I figured Cincinnati, since it's similar to those would be acceptable, but where I messed up was I didn't take into account that in the US, a "city" is in the modern area. In Russia, a "city" is just a "bigger village."

[Brad and Vika 129]

As for the Ukrainian coffee pot, that sounds a lot like the old percolators from years ago. Buy some filters and put one in the bottom where the coffee goes in before brewing. If she complains, ask her to try it first. If that doesn't work, start drinking instant coffee.

A turka isn't big enough for a filter. Think of a large metal cup with a long handle on it. And i don't drink coffee brewed that way, although I did try it once (yech).

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

One day I woke up with wax all over me. My wife and I had been out on the town the night before partying it up with a few of our buddies. She got all angry and left in a tizzy. I came home and passed out on the couch. The next morning, I woke up and noticed the wax all over me.

"Why do I have wax all over me?"

"Because last night I so angry on you."

"You know, pouring hot wax on someone while they're passed out isn't 'normal' behavior for married people, right?"

"And what?"

My buddy thought it was both hilarious and kind of strange all at the same time so he told her Russian girlfriend about it when she joined us for breakfast. "You know that's messed up. She poured hot wax all over him. That aint right." Her reply -

"And what?"

My wife used to hang every single piece of clothing on the line to dry. She didn't want to use the "dry machine" because it would mess up her clothes and wasn't "natural prahtsyess." Now, she still hangs quite a bit of stuff on there to dry, but it's only the stuff she hand washes. It seems that every year that goes by, leass and less "work" is done to maintain natural protcess and more and more "easy American lifestyle" is achieved. What that does for my piece of mind goes without saying.

This is the new gold standard for us. My wife constantly complains that I'm so poor I haven't even bought her a house with dishwasher. "Why I must make my hands dirty for clean your dishes? We in America, baby! You must buy for your wife dishwasher." I tell her we'd have to buy a new house to get a dishwasher and she says, "So, do it."

Four years down the road... still no dishwasher. "You know, if you worked full-time we could probably buy a house with a dishwasher..."

"And what?"

Alla was not too wild about the "dry machine" at first. But then she tried it and her response could be roughly translated to "Holy #######! I don't have to iron nearly so much!" She was sold! She only washes her dainty lace panties by hand now and hangs them all over the bedroom to dry. OK by me. Now we have one of those new high efficiency washing machines and the video that came with it..yes, it had a video!, says you can even wash those lacy things in there, but she isn't buying it.

We didn't have a dishwasher before, but she has sons to wash dishes. Tell her you can make a baby and then wait 14 years.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Ah, it does my heart good to hear all of us with the same complaints and consistent traits from our ladies. There is now a dead fish sitting in our refrigerator waiting to be unwrapped and stink up the entire house. I don't know what she is waiting for as she knows I'll not be joining in the eating. Years ago I bought a large set of plastic containers for leftovers. Most are used but not in the way they are intended. The lids are used like a dish but usually for something nasty looking. The containers are used to hold things in various stages of food life from frozen to OMG what is that! What I'm finding now is containers holding things in the frig but aluminum foil as a lid instead of the plastic lid.

And to Cranehand, relax. Although we all have these unusual stories about our new spouses, believe me when I say that we are still much happier that we would be alone.

As for the Ukrainian coffee pot, that sounds a lot like the old percolators from years ago. Buy some filters and put one in the bottom where the coffee goes in before brewing. If she complains, ask her to try it first. If that doesn't work, start drinking instant coffee.

Yep! All good natured fun. I am happy as a clam! I think that means very happy.

The "turk" has no filter or basket. It is just a little copper pot, the size of a lab beaker. Looks like a lab beaker, but metal and fancier (hers has some relief stamping in it, very artistic) It has a wood handle about 6 inches long. It holds just enough for one cup of "mud". She puts in two heaping tablespoons of coffee ground like talcum powder and not nearly enough water (in my opinion) then heats it just until it starts to boil. Then dumps the whole thing into a cup or thermos. Grounds and all. She rinses it out and hangs it back on the peg on the wall.

Oh, and for my opinion, I will take a city girl any day!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I don't know about that... but I do know I'll take her over the 220lb. local variety that some dudes have.

She will still complain. The only way to get your wife to do anything "American" is to make it easier and quicker and stick with it. There are "natural" coffee filters that are unbleached and made from free-ranged, non-antibiotic-infused, organic trees - or something like that. Convince here these are just as healthy as doing it the old fashioned way.

I'm not a coffee drinker so when my wife first came here she did the old grind it up, cook it, strain it, etc. I bought her a coffee maker and she HATED ground coffee. So, we had to go through the "I'll take the extra time (and money) to grind coffee beans every morning before I make coffee" for a while. Finally, that got old so now we're down to the traditional American two scoops in the pot and push play.

Of course, we're still using "organic, fresh roasted" coffee grouds, "natural" filters and "purified, filtered" water. But, at least it doesn't take her 34 minutes anymore and I don't have to hear about how much easier and better it was in Russia.

Just a tip for the noobs... splurge a little on coffee, tea, and desserts. Instead of getting the store brand, get one that's an extra $5 for no reason. She'll love it! If she sees that it's "best of the best from this store" it will be acceptable, even if it is made in the same plant as the store brand. Illusions of grandeur. That's the key to keeping her happy.

You hit the jackpot, man!

I honestly tried to get a city girl. I met my wife while we were living in a big city in Korea. She explained that she was from a small city (appx. 50,000) but lived in Khabarovsk and Vladivostok most of the time. Both of those cities have around 600,000 people. I figured Cincinnati, since it's similar to those would be acceptable, but where I messed up was I didn't take into account that in the US, a "city" is in the modern area. In Russia, a "city" is just a "bigger village."

FYI, there is a far bigger difference between women from cities and villages than between women from Ukraine/Russia/Belarus. We almost need separate forums!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

One day I woke up with wax all over me. My wife and I had been out on the town the night before partying it up with a few of our buddies. She got all angry and left in a tizzy. I came home and passed out on the couch. The next morning, I woke up and noticed the wax all over me.

"Why do I have wax all over me?"

"Because last night I so angry on you."

"You know, pouring hot wax on someone while they're passed out isn't 'normal' behavior for married people, right?"

"And what?"

My buddy thought it was both hilarious and kind of strange all at the same time so he told her Russian girlfriend about it when she joined us for breakfast. "You know that's messed up. She poured hot wax all over him. That aint right." Her reply -

"And what?"

My wife used to hang every single piece of clothing on the line to dry. She didn't want to use the "dry machine" because it would mess up her clothes and wasn't "natural prahtsyess." Now, she still hangs quite a bit of stuff on there to dry, but it's only the stuff she hand washes. It seems that every year that goes by, leass and less "work" is done to maintain natural protcess and more and more "easy American lifestyle" is achieved. What that does for my piece of mind goes without saying.

This is the new gold standard for us. My wife constantly complains that I'm so poor I haven't even bought her a house with dishwasher. "Why I must make my hands dirty for clean your dishes? We in America, baby! You must buy for your wife dishwasher." I tell her we'd have to buy a new house to get a dishwasher and she says, "So, do it."

Four years down the road... still no dishwasher. "You know, if you worked full-time we could probably buy a house with a dishwasher..."

"And what?"

And if I get after her about something I get..."And what? You will divorce me now?" No. "Then why must we discuss this any further?"

[slim 1,519]

says you can even wash those lacy things in there, but she isn't buying it.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've been accused of ruining her clothes because something "greasy" got on her t-shirt or shorts because she put it in the same load as my clothes. "Because you're clothes so freakin dirty you make my clothes dirty too. I never will be wash my pantalones with your greasy stuff."

Tell her you can make a baby and then wait 14 years.

That's like "have kids for the tax breaks." Sorry, I'm not buying it. I saw an ad for some oceanfront property in Arizona that I could forward to you if desired.