Newbie with a question

[tatalu75 0]

Hello everyone,

I am brand new and I hope I have chosen the right spot to post my topic.

I currently reside in Italy with my daughter who should be a US citizen with both a Passport and a SSN but (thanks to her uncooperative father) has a hard time getting all the necessary documents.

I have a question I hope you can help me with.

Back in 2008, whilst stationed in the State of New York and only being separated from me (through Italian Court Order), my soon to be ex husband got married to a Kyrgistan native (I am assuming he got a fiance visa). He has clearly omitted to mention he had been married in Italy. He is in the military and has never sponsored me or our child. We have no SSN nore have we ever migrated to the US. Only recently (being stationed in Guam), has he decided to officially file for a divorce.

Now, my Guam lawyer is reluctant to pursue the route of bigamy, claiming I have no official proof of marriage (a picture) and online proof that there is a wedding certificate in his name in the town he was residing whilst in the US apparently is not enough....

I wonder if I can still do anything to get the second marriage annulled. I am not a vengefull person, but my ex has NOT paid child support neither has he bothered seeing his child. I have not pressed the matter before because I didn't want to bother him but now I would like to pursue the matter to ANY possible extent.

Is there ANYTHING I can do? He is currently resident of Guam... so I guess that would be the jurisdiction...

Please, help...

Thanks, tatalu75

[milimelo 4,539]

Hello everyone,

I am brand new and I hope I have chosen the right spot to post my topic.

I currently reside in Italy with my daughter who should be a US citizen with both a Passport and a SSN but (thanks to her uncooperative father) has a hard time getting all the necessary documents.

I have a question I hope you can help me with.

Back in 2008, whilst stationed in the State of New York and only being separated from me (through Italian Court Order), my soon to be ex husband got married to a Kyrgistan native (I am assuming he got a fiance visa). He has clearly omitted to mention he had been married in Italy. He is in the military and has never sponsored me or our child. We have no SSN nore have we ever migrated to the US. Only recently (being stationed in Guam), has he decided to officially file for a divorce.

Now, my Guam lawyer is reluctant to pursue the route of bigamy, claiming I have no official proof of marriage (a picture) and online proof that there is a wedding certificate in his name in the town he was residing whilst in the US apparently is not enough....

I wonder if I can still do anything to get the second marriage annulled. I am not a vengefull person, but my ex has NOT paid child support neither has he bothered seeing his child. I have not pressed the matter before because I didn't want to bother him but now I would like to pursue the matter to ANY possible extent.

Is there ANYTHING I can do? He is currently resident of Guam... so I guess that would be the jurisdiction...

Please, help...

Thanks, tatalu75

The only thing I can think of is contacting the military - did he ever add you to the DEERs? Based on that, you'd be his dependants and he'd have to provide for you - military is very strict about this. Now, if you're divorced, not sure how much they can do for you.

[tatalu75 0]

The only thing I can think of is contacting the military - did he ever add you to the DEERs? Based on that, you'd be his dependants and he'd have to provide for you - military is very strict about this. Now, if you're divorced, not sure how much they can do for you.

I was in his DEERS but never sponsored. But, as far as that is concerned he lied and had me put as divorced in 2008 (back when he remarried... for obvious reasons since he needed his other wife to be sponsored). So, you are telling me that, other than the military I have no other source to get this matter resolved? We are talking about breaking the law. Obtaining a K1-visa for his new wife to get married whilst still being legally married to me... I thought these screenings were accurate? Oh well....

Thanks for your help anyways

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I was in his DEERS but never sponsored. But, as far as that is concerned he lied and had me put as divorced in 2008 (back when he remarried... for obvious reasons since he needed his other wife to be sponsored). So, you are telling me that, other than the military I have no other source to get this matter resolved? We are talking about breaking the law. Obtaining a K1-visa for his new wife to get married whilst still being legally married to me... I thought these screenings were accurate? Oh well....

Thanks for your help anyways

He doesn't just PUT you as divorced, he has to show a divorce decree. It's likely you are divorced and he did so "in absentia" meaning you didn't have to be there.

The only other thing he could have done is not said he was married BEFORE which would mean not showing the divorce decree. He would be in deep do-do if that's the case but as you said he said you were divorced in 2008, sounds like he divorced you in absentia.

Also, he'll need to have listed his (your) child as a dependent (if she's under a certain age). He should have mention he HAD a child on his paperwork too. If he didn't he could also get into trouble for lying to USCIS.

If you're worried, telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. Give them a call. Tell them what you know and they'll be able to tell you whether they can help you.

They'll want the marriage papers proving you're married. They'll want any divorce papers too (if you're subsequently divorced). Birth proof that the child is his... I honestly don't know if they'll be able to do too much though.

As for child support. File a claim with the military. You said you were in his DEERs so see what they say. I know in Aus a friend of mine is transferring her child support case to the US for her cheating scum of an ex-fiance. Can you do that? Have him back-pay all that he owes? That'll definitely put a dampener on things.

[tatalu75 0]

When I went to get my military ID renewed in 2008 they initially denied it beased on the fact that in the system it showed we were divorced (though no date was listed). When I showed proof of our separation (NOT divorce) they issued me the ID.

We were both on his DEERS but NOT ever sponsored. He never got a Consular Birth Report so, ig USCIS were to do a preliminary search they would find no record of us ever being in his life. Only record is military IDs issued both to me and to our child.

If there is a divorce in absentia, wouldn't I be notified anyways? AND, why would he request a divorce in Guam (where he is currently stationed).

I am prone to think that he simply omitted the fact that he was married and had a child hoping noone would look into it much.

Any proof of our existance (so far) has been limited to Italy and our jurisdictional laws. And, I do admit not acting any sooner doesn't exactly play in my favor. But, let's say I had enough and later is better than never.

Thanks for the advice and the initial contact number. TRULY MUCH APPRECIATED

He doesn't just PUT you as divorced, he has to show a divorce decree. It's likely you are divorced and he did so "in absentia" meaning you didn't have to be there.

The only other thing he could have done is not said he was married BEFORE which would mean not showing the divorce decree. He would be in deep do-do if that's the case but as you said he said you were divorced in 2008, sounds like he divorced you in absentia.

Also, he'll need to have listed his (your) child as a dependent (if she's under a certain age). He should have mention he HAD a child on his paperwork too. If he didn't he could also get into trouble for lying to USCIS.

If you're worried, telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. Give them a call. Tell them what you know and they'll be able to tell you whether they can help you.

They'll want the marriage papers proving you're married. They'll want any divorce papers too (if you're subsequently divorced). Birth proof that the child is his... I honestly don't know if they'll be able to do too much though.

As for child support. File a claim with the military. You said you were in his DEERs so see what they say. I know in Aus a friend of mine is transferring her child support case to the US for her cheating scum of an ex-fiance. Can you do that? Have him back-pay all that he owes? That'll definitely put a dampener on things.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If there is a divorce in absentia, wouldn't I be notified anyways?

Nope. He can file for divorce in whatever town, state, country, world he's in. I was married in the US, but I can get divorced in Italy if I wanted (provided I fulfil the requirements there... sometimes they need residency requirements).

He doesn't have to tell you, he has to make a good go at letting you know. Some states allow that to be a notice in the paper in the town or area he "believes" you live in, or your family lives in, or your last known address (to him) is. If you don't reply by a certain time, divorce granted in absentia (i.e. without you there, and in some cases, without you knowing either... can't say i check the divorce section myself...).

Still, sounds to me like he's either done that, or he's just not told USCIS of your existance. Something I wonder (and truly don't know) wouldn't he have to show the divorce papers to the Military as well if claiming to be divorced? You'd think they'd want proof.. I'd call and ask them what the records show as you haven't heard from him and he hasn't paid ANY child support for his child. The fact he did CRBA for your child proves that he acknowledges the birth and that the child is his. The military is (as someone else said) very strict on their members doing what they should for their family so I would DEFINITELY call them... especially if he's now claiming benefits(he gets money for being away from them and other such benefits) for this new "wife" when they're not legally married (no divorce to you means his current marriage would be void and he would have to repay all benefits given because of his current "wife" or forced to send them to you).. oh the ###### he'll be in...

Edited July 22, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[milimelo 4,539]

Nope. He can file for divorce in whatever town, state, country, world he's in. I was married in the US, but I can get divorced in Italy if I wanted (provided I fulfil the requirements there... sometimes they need residency requirements).

He doesn't have to tell you, he has to make a good go at letting you know. Some states allow that to be a notice in the paper in the town or area he "believes" you live in, or your family lives in, or your last known address (to him) is. If you don't reply by a certain time, divorce granted in absentia (i.e. without you there, and in some cases, without you knowing either... can't say i check the divorce section myself...).

Still, sounds to me like he's either done that, or he's just not told USCIS of your existance. Something I wonder (and truly don't know) wouldn't he have to show the divorce papers to the Military as well if claiming to be divorced? You'd think they'd want proof.. I'd call and ask them what the records show as you haven't heard from him and he hasn't paid ANY child support for his child. The fact he did CRBA for your child proves that he acknowledges the birth and that the child is his. The military is (as someone else said) very strict on their members doing what they should for their family so I would DEFINITELY call them... especially if he's now claiming benefits(he gets money for being away from them and other such benefits) for this new "wife" when they're not legally married (no divorce to you means his current marriage would be void and he would have to repay all benefits given because of his current "wife" or forced to send them to you).. oh the ###### he'll be in...

If I read it right, he DIDN'T do a CRBA for the child.

Military is very strict on paperwork - we had to provide our marriage certificate before they would add me to DEERS so I imagine the same is in case of a divorce (I hope the DEERS authorized officer did not skip asking for divorce decree as that person could get in a major trouble for not performing his/her duties to a t).

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If I read it right, he DIDN'T do a CRBA for the child. - sorry.. speed reading. You are correct.

Military is very strict on paperwork - we had to provide our marriage certificate before they would add me to DEERS so I imagine the same is in case of a divorce (I hope the DEERS authorized officer did not skip asking for divorce decree as that person could get in a major trouble for not performing his/her duties to a t).

Did he sign the birth cert or anything?