Mental Health Ineligibility Worry

[tigretigre 0]

Three cheers for my fella--he made an appointment to see his GP. She was really helpful and wrote a letter saying that he's certainly not a danger to himself now, has never been a danger to others ever, to her knowledge hasn't self-harmed in 2 years, that when she saw him last week he was the happiest and calmest she's ever seen him, and that his relationship with me has clearly given him a new outlook on life and new focus. She also said that she's satisfied he intends to continue monitoring his condition in the U.S.

This will definitely help us a lot. My question now is, can we stop there, or do we need a letter from his awful psychiatrist? He talks to my fiance for about 5 minutes each visit (visits are months apart), and it's pretty clear he hasn't updated my fella's chart in a while, because he never makes notes, nor does he ever remember anything he and my fiance discussed at the last appointment. When he's not completely disinterested, his attitude is contemptuous or even hostile. Not only do we think he's unlikely to provide anything helpful, we're not even sure he can provide anything accurate.

D is willing to try and get a letter from him, even though he feels justifiably let down and alienated by this doctor. How necessary do you all think it is, in light of the letter from his GP? He's a jerk, but he's a jerk who's also a psychiatrist. On the other hand, a letter from him might just be confusing and not make any sense, and be worse than no letter at all.

I've appreciated all the feedback I've gotten on this issue so far--let me know what you think.

Tigre

[Nagishkaw 510]

What I'm afraid to ask is, why does he still go to this shrink? Can't he find another one? I got copies of my files from my shrink and I will have her write a letter and sign it, but all she can really state is clinical stuff. A letter from the shrink will definately help, and so will the records on file.

God bless, and good luck.

[tigretigre 0]

Not easy to change psychiatrists where he lives. There's quite a waiting list. He keeps going to appointments because he likes to put in regular appearances so they can see that he's doing well. Not that they notice, or care.

I just hate making him relive all the bad times, now that he's feeling good. But he's willing to get the letter if we have to.

[TracyTN 237]

I dunno if I would bother with a letter from the miserable psychiatrist. Your fella has probably known the GP longer, so she would probably have a better view overall of how he has changed over the course of all of this.

If there was a very good chance the psychiatrist would be helpful, then I would do it - but why shoot yourself in the foot if you don't have to?

[Lizzy 0]

Like i said before, do what i did, and go private, it cost me 100 pounds.

They do ask for a letter from a psychiatrist, thats what i was told and had to do!

Good luck.

[tigretigre 0]

Yeah Lizzy, I think the private evaluation is the way to go, as well. I think what we'll do, though, is wait for them to ask for it. It would look sort of weird if he went in with an evaluation from a private psychiatrist when he already has a psychiatrist.

On a more personal note, I am very tired mentally trying to sort this out, and so exhausted from worrying. This whole process gets my fella so anxious and I can't provide any reassurance or certainty. I know he's willing to do what he needs to do to get this visa, but I feel like I'm being cruel every time I ask for him to get yet another document for this mental health #######, and it's starting to get to me. I appreciate everyone's patience as I try to work through this, as it will seem like I am asking the same questions over and over and not listening to what people are saying. But I promise I'm listening--just processing stuff a bit slowly.

[TracyTN 237]

Hugs, Tigre.

I think you're doing exactly what you need to do. There's still a possibility that this won't even become an issue, right? I know its easier said than done, but try not to really worry about it until you're sure you have something to worry about.

I mean, I agree that you want Dan to have something in his hands the day of the interview in case he does need to file a waiver - but you've done that now (with the letter from the GP). Perhaps in the hardship letter(s) you're preparing, you could mention that he could get an evaluation from a psychiatrist if it was deemed necessary - and then worry about the private doc at that point?

[Lizzy 0]

Aww hugs, i know what its like....i made myself sick before the medical and the interview....they do give you time to, get the letter from a private one and then they send it all in.

Personally i dont think you will have an issue, please IM me if you need to chat more about my situation, its personal so i would not want to put it on the board, but id be willing to talk in IM with you

[tigretigre 0]

New update: D visited the office of Dr. Nasty the Psychiatrist, and dropped off a copy of a letter I wrote to his GP explaining what we need and why, along with his own written authorization to release the information. He's supposed to call back next week and see what the status is. D also called to schedule his medical and got an appointment for next Thursday. He still has the task of going over his medical history and writing up his answers to the medical questionnaire. He said to me, "they write these questions so that it makes me look scary when I check 'yes.'" I know it hurts him, and I'm really proud of him for facing it down and being so brave.

Tigre, hanging in there for her fella