Can A Filipina Really Be Taught How to Drive? A Car?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

There's no need to teach the missus as she has been driving in the PI for over 10 years. The only problem now is how she can abide by the speed limits. Say, on a trip to the Bay Area last week along pastoral Interstate 5 in California's San Joaquin Valley, from the Grapevine to Santa Nella, she was impersonating Danica Patrick doing her thing at Infineon Raceway! However, I was often times enthused, wishing that the girl cop on the Go Daddy commercial would appear.

Yo! AJ! Yep. It's hard not to twist the end off the spedo on that route. The doubles push 75 mph, and you have to go faster than that to get out of their way!

[Besame Mucho 1]

Yo! AJ! Yep. It's hard not to twist the end off the spedo on that route. The doubles push 75 mph, and you have to go faster than that to get out of their way!

Hola Bill! Almost every passenger car on that portion of the I-5 runs at 80 or more! BTW, if I drive like Danica, he scoots a la Helio Castroneves!

[GuapaDoktora 0]

I'll admit the first couple times out were scary but I just tried to stay calm and not raise my voice even if I was scared.

If I had it to do over, I would hire an instructor for the first couple of times behind the wheel (where they have a brake on their side of the car too!! lol), then start instructing her after she's a bit practiced.

Now she's just too cautious, I need to teach her to be a little more aggressive (but happy it's too cautious than too aggressive), but I hardly ever feel like there might be an accident anymore.

Now she's pregnant though, and I'm not sure how much longer I want her to drive, for the safety of her and the baby.

I think it's ok for her to drive even if she's pregnant. I was driving before and after I gave birth! That was actually the reason why I needed to have my CA license beacause my PI license expired. And it's hard for my husband to drive home if there's an emergency since he worked in LA, 60 miles away from where we lived.

For me, I grew up with a family of drivers and mechanics. I literally helped my Dad overhauled our car when I was about 10 yrs old. So driving was never an issue!

[rlogan 2,036]

Then we came to the stop sign, The truck was not slowing down. I explained to her there is a stop sign and you must stop for it. This was repeated camly 4 times to no avail. At this point I am scarred out my pants cause the other road has the right of way. I finally screamed, There is a stop sign and you must stop now (Bad mistake on my part). Well, When I looked over at her she had done froze up and had a death grip on the steering wheel. YUP, we drove right through the stop sign and luckily no car hit us.

We developed a game for this called the "obedience game". I could not just tell my wife what to do. She had to be convinced. So when a cement truck was coming down the road and I said "stop! stop! STOP!!!", she went straight through. It was a close call and a few feet further we would have been killed.

She had an attitude about criticism and being told what to do. I've been a teacher of various things for almost 40 years. There was no way to teach her without first changing her attitude. We had to psychologically prepare ourselves for each lesson: your husband is not your enemy. Our lives are at stake. Safety means doing what he says. Yet still, we had to invent this game. So as we started any lesson, I would give her completely nonsensical instructions: touch your nose. Say "banana". I would have her stop the car for no reason so that she practiced stopping because I said "stop" instead of being stubborn and believing she had to be convinced.

Another problem was communication. Through driving it became apparent how much communication we were NOT doing. I would say "slow down, slow down slow down, SLOW DOWN!" and she would not react. It was hard for me to believe, but she had difficulty perceiving speed, and what "slow down, meant. Since she never went too fast around a corner on a bicycle, the concept of going around a corner in a car too fast was beyond her.

I agree with the peoople who have said there are things generally true about the philippines that make driving difficult to teach, like my wife not having a bicycle. She did not ride bumper cars at amusement parks. She rode jeepneys instead of growing up watching family members drive. That is a severe handicap relative to their american counterparts that do all these things.

If you combine that with them now being prideful adults instead of kids more accepting of being instructed, it's a tough job. In my state the farm kids were driving various things at ten years old. The townies were driving at age 14. Most people of those ages are more inclined to follow what an adult tells them just because it is an adult speaking to them. When you are an adult, pride gets in the way.

There are times when I have to say don't do anything: just keep driving. I want to talk to you about a situation that is going to arise in another mile. Otherwise the fact I have merely spoken causes her to react in panic. I have to get her to repeat back to me what it is I am saying correctly instead of having her say "Okay". "Okay" seems to be some kind of default answer that doesn't have any meaning.

Lack of patience and focus was a problem. So again we had to commit to that at the start of lessons. Listening to an explanation of how to watch for a car approaching from behind while you are turning lanes takes more than two seconds. I am doing nothing wrong in requiring her to pay attention for more than two seconds.

I would explain what the "blind spot" meant over and over again. But it is nothing she has experienced, and it takes more than two seconds to explain. So that took numerous attempts over two days. It wasn't until she could explain it back to me with good english that she really understood. So we practice that very thing: having her repeat back to me why we are doing things.

Wow, I could not agree more as well with the amazing lack of geographical skills required for driving. My wife's school system sucked. She could not read a road or street map. She did not organize in her mind navigation by geography. She could not tell me the names of the major streets in her city. "north, south, east, and west" had no function for her. You get on the Tomas Cabili Jeepney. There is nothing else to know.

So when you throw driving on top of learning directional geography for the first time, it compounds the stress.

Good God the Filipinos also disobey most traffic rules. So stop signs, traffic lights, etc. are not going to sink in as rules to follow, whereas in the U.S. a passenger learns their meaning long before they ever become a driver.

[Krikit 1,165]

Good God the Filipinos also disobey most traffic rules. So stop signs, traffic lights, etc. are not going to sink in as rules to follow, whereas in the U.S. a passenger learns their meaning long before they ever become a driver.

After experiencing the driving habits of citizens in certain countries we started to call them "stoptionals". lol

[silvermug 16]

Hmm. I can understand some of the reactions to the topic sounding like a generalization. But, I think it is funny (and I hope it is meant to be )

I learned how to drive here in the US through my classmate at the university. But I have known the mechanics of driving a manual long before as I watched my mother drive our car back in the Philippines.

Some tips (if solicited) in teaching a Filipina:

1. Use a car with an automatic transmission (she can shift to manual as soon as she gets the confidence on the road)

2. Start in your driveway. Back and forth. It is a place where she does not have to worry about the traffic rules and other vehicles. Just the hands-foot coordination. And you don't have to be with her and drive elsewhere. She can do it by herself, in her free time or whenever. It's a good place to practice pressing the gas pedal like you're breaking an egg instead of killing a cockroach. If you have a bigger place, she can do turns. This is how my father started with my mother (in our garage). It is also a good place to learn how to slow down instead of going fast

3. Once she's comfortable in that garage thing, she can go out in small roads (less cars, maybe in your neighborhood). This time, the hands-foot thing should almost come naturally for her. She can start minding the signs and lights. Turns. May not be a good time to start changing lanes because that might freak her out.

4. Take her to a place with a little bit more cars. Start minding the vehicles around her. If the one in front has the blinking light on, what to do; or when the car in front of her has the brake light on, what to do. Looking at the mirrors, being aware of the vehicles around her (if there are any).

5. Do NOT, and I mean, NOT, raise your voice -- at any time, while she's driving. She's still trying to put her arms around many things: driving, the signs, the lights, the vehicles around her, the traffic rules -- and raising your voice will just shatter her concentration. She's got them covered. Give her time to register your instruction as she is already busy trying to get all those things coordinated.

6. If the instruction is not registering and you suspect an impending harm -- tell her to drive to the side and stop. I would think that both of the lights are blinking at this time.

I also taught a classmate after I learned. I just let him drive and I hardly spoke. But my hand was on the emergency brake all the time. We drove around the school campus over and over, up to the point that he was very comfortable about it, he was already talking to me about non-driving related things while he was driving. At that point, we went outside the campus.

Also, I think this is not just for Filipinas. No offense, but I think Asians, in general, have this reputation (unfortunately, haha!).

My husband jokes around giving me a present: a sticker for my car -- "ASIAN DRIVER".

[George and Movi 1]

In the Phils where LRT, MRT, buses, jeepneys, tricycles, trisikad and even habal-habal are available to take us around even to the most remote areas, it did not occur to most that learning how to drive is necessary specially when most can not afford to have a car of his own to drive.

While still in the Phils, my fiance taught me how to drive ONCE..I was using a big car with manual transmission. I had difficulty how to change gears manually without looking at the stick, while at the same time my left foot was on the clutch and my eyes were focused on the road and of course with the proper timing of my right foot on the accelerator. To me it was like doing a tango,cha-cha-cha and twist all at the same time. It was so complicated for me, specially with somebody giving orders who made me so anxious and confused. It didnt last for 30 mins, he was already yelling at me. We were both disappointed and in tears I told him "I will not learn how to drive anymore, if you're the one teaching". That ended it. As soon as he head back to the States, I hired an instructor. He was exactly opposite my fiance. He was so patient in teaching that it seemed I was learning so slow. As soon as I learned the basics, I decided not to attend the sessions anymore but learned on my own and later was driving all over the city back home. As soon as I got my EAD here, I decided to learn the parallel parking by watching the you tube.( I didn't finish my lessons in Phils so didnt get to know how to do the parallel parking).

I really admire the husbands who patiently taught their wives how to drive. It has worked for some but not in our case. I learned through youtube hahahaha!!! I personally think that Filipinas can be taught how to drive. However, one needs to have the attitude and the determination to learn, otherwise, even if she has a nice car and the best instructor, she will never learn at all.

Good luck to all Filipinas! We can do it.

[David & Kezia 25]

In the Phils where LRT, MRT, buses, jeepneys, tricycles, trisikad and even habal-habal are available to take us around even to the most remote areas, it did not occur to most that learning how to drive is necessary specially when most can not afford to have a car of his own to drive.

While still in the Phils, my fiance taught me how to drive ONCE..I was using a big car with manual transmission. I had difficulty how to change gears manually without looking at the stick, while at the same time my left foot was on the clutch and my eyes were focused on the road and of course with the proper timing of my right foot on the accelerator. To me it was like doing a tango,cha-cha-cha and twist all at the same time. It was so complicated for me, specially with somebody giving orders who made me so anxious and confused. It didnt last for 30 mins, he was already yelling at me. We were both disappointed and in tears I told him "I will not learn how to drive anymore, if you're the one teaching". That ended it. As soon as he head back to the States, I hired an instructor. He was exactly opposite my fiance. He was so patient in teaching that it seemed I was learning so slow. As soon as I learned the basics, I decided not to attend the sessions anymore but learned on my own and later was driving all over the city back home. As soon as I got my EAD here, I decided to learn the parallel parking by watching the you tube.( I didn't finish my lessons in Phils so didnt get to know how to do the parallel parking).

I really admire the husbands who patiently taught their wives how to drive. It has worked for some but not in our case. I learned through youtube hahahaha!!! I personally think that Filipinas can be taught how to drive. However, one needs to have the attitude and the determination to learn, otherwise, even if she has a nice car and the best instructor, she will never learn at all.

Good luck to all Filipinas! We can do it.

Atta Girl!!!

I myself doesn't know how to drive, although all my brothers do, and I used to drive a bike when I was a kid until I was a stranger and got traumatized driving around the small streets of my small hometown. I am to get my driving lessons from a professional driver soon, preferably a month or two before I go join my fiance, then maybe I could go home for a week or two and practice with my brother. I hope that I will be good at it too. I have a feeling that as I keep on remembering that I'm driving a bigger car and I'm not on a bike anymore where I could be crushed, I will be confident enough to keep my calm and learn well. It's when I panic (like when I was learning how to swim, and would realize that I'm already in very deep waters) that I forget everything, just when I'm actually already doing well at it.

-Kezia

[thekfc 26]

I am in NYC and we have public transportation 24/7 but if my wife want to drive when she comes - there are many good driving schools that she can go too. I know that I will not be a good instructor (I do drive).

I never did asked my wife if she could drive or not and on my last trip to Manila, I was surprise when she got on the drivers seat of a motorcycle & drove away with her niece. She have a license but there isn't many opportunity for her to use it.

Also, I don't think that there is much difference between driving in NYC & driving in Manila - they are both crazy.

[Kevin- 13]

Lots of great advice in this thread, and very funny stories. I am very patient and I know I will be good at teaching Bel to drive. But, still it's nice to get a few pointers.

Regarding the Filipina Driver stereotype, I think it's not insulting at all (easy for me to say though, I'm not Filipina ). There are a high percentage of ladies from the Philippines who have never even paid attention to learning how to drive. Since they're now adults here in the US, it is much more difficult to learn. Especially since many have not grown up watching people drive. Females are naturally less apt to hand-eye coordination activities as well.

She is capable of driving a motorcycle, but it's been many years since she did that. Her first lessons here will be in a huge empty parking lot with stop signs in it, so those can be used for learning to stop at certain spots. It'll be a big enough lot that she'll be able to try out 25mph speed limit holding. She will learn in an automatic first.

Once she has all the going and stopping and turning handled subconsciously, I will put her back in the passenger seat and have her pretend she is driving while looking out for all traffic laws with me driving around. I will have her report what she would be doing at each intersection, etc. When I feel like she's got the paying attention and rules part down, we'll find a new-home-construction area where the roads are finished, and she can drive around there on a Sunday with no worries about other cars, but it's real roads with stops and intersections. Once those are confidently handled, a real neighborhood is in order. Slowly, we'll keep escalating the complexity until finally she can confidently drive on the highway.

Then, if/when we have a manual, we'll start over in that parking lot, heheh.

[chaice 0]

Just be patient with her. DO NOT yell (like my husband - "IF YOU WANT TO TURN, TURN!!). Hello! What's the signal light for?

Needless to say, i went to a driving school.

wow' that sounds like my husband too.. hehehe' but he's still the teaching me how to drive. doing well now' I shouldn't told him about my experience in the Philippines, when my father once taught us to drive a car and I hit a tree... lol' and that's the end of my learning in Philippines. hmp' I told him now since we live in part of sonoran desert' there's no much tree to hit on to... just cactuses' lols' but i'm doing well now. It looks like you get more nervous in driving when someone yell at you, so i told my husband not raise his voice coz I get more confused..

[drlarryclements 4]

It was pretty easy.

I took my wife to the Macy's parking lot Sunday mornings at 8:00 as they opened at noon. She had this huge parking lot all to herself so she got to practise turning, stopping and starting, and keeping in lanes. They second morning (same parking lot) I got out of the car, put her phone on speaker and let her drive in the parking lot, while I was able to offer assistance if she needed it. This gave her a big confidence boost. I taped her during her second lesson and she got so excited, she said, welcome to the philippines!.

We did this for parking as well. She must have tried to park 50 times.

After this, we found an abandoned back road and spent weeks driving up and down it.

When she went to take her exam, we went the previous Sunday so she could learn the area and surroundings. She passed big time.

Although she has a 2003 Chevy Impala, she has been driving my Fusion Hybrid for a few weeks now and learning about stretching her mileage.

She is great!!!!

Larry

[J.W. 4]

The way this topic is phrased it makes it sounds like an entire country of women are driving challenged. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to say "my wife" vs. generalizing?

Yeah, not all are like that. Some of us are quite easy to teach how to drive. I already know how to drive in the Phippines. My father taught us sisters how to drive in our car when we were still 15 years old, we can also drive a motorcycle. But we didn't get our Philippines driver's license until we were 18yrs old. Since at that time 16 years old can't drive there in the Philippines it's only now that it's okay.

My husband doesn't have any problem with me when he let me get the feel of how it is driving here in the US. I feel like I was just driving a bump car actually because I'm use to using a stick shift. Driving an automatic car is just a walk in the park. After driving around for a bit in the neighborhood I was ready to tackle going to the interstate and everything was peachy. My husband commented that I was just cool as a cucumber behind the wheel. Also the road is not too tight like what we have in the Philippines and the traffic is not as bad too. And since most of the time people actually follow the driving rules here it was pretty nice not to be too agressive in getting your space and also very quite, I don't hear a whole lot of honking horn of their car. My written and actual road test also, I passed the first try. I aced it!

Edited October 14, 2010 by J.W.

[J.W. 4]

The title of this thread sounds insulting to all filipinas...as if you are saying or you sounded that filipinas are not capable to learn or can't be taught how to drive. If your wife is a filipina and has the difficulty to drive, don't generalize that filipinas are like that. I would rather suggest to rephrase this title of this threas to Can "MY WIFE"... instead of Can "A FILIPINA". Please be sensitive. (To the moderators: What do you think about this?)

I am a Filipina. I learned to drive and got my driver's license here in the US thru my hubby who taught me how to drive. We did not hire any professional driving instructor.

Filipinas are not excluded on the ability to drive a car or be taught to drive. Learning how to drive can't only be attributed to the learner's capacity to learn but to the teacher's/ instructor's skills to teach.

Exactly!

[drlarryclements 4]

It was pretty easy.

I took my wife to the Macy's parking lot Sunday mornings at 8:00 as they opened at noon. She had this huge parking lot all to herself so she got to practise turning, stopping and starting, and keeping in lanes. They second morning (same parking lot) I got out of the car, put her phone on speaker and let her drive in the parking lot, while I was able to offer assistance if she needed it. This gave her a big confidence boost. I taped her during her second lesson and she got so excited, she said, welcome to the philippines!.

We did this for parking as well. She must have tried to park 50 times.

After this, we found an abandoned back road and spent weeks driving up and down it.

When she went to take her exam, we went the previous Sunday so she could learn the area and surroundings. She passed big time.

Although she has a 2003 Chevy Impala, she has been driving my Fusion Hybrid for a few weeks now and learning about stretching her mileage.

She is great!!!!

Larry

Forgot to add a photo. You can get the sign from amazon.